


The Cruise

by Sophia7041



Series: Stucky: New Beginnings [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Angst, Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, Avengers Movie Night, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bottom Steve Rogers, Choking, Cruise Ships, Depressed Bucky Barnes, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dom Bucky Barnes, Dom/sub, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Dry Humping, F/M, Family, Fix-It, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Masturbation, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Past Rape/Non-con, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Protective Avengers, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Size Kink, Slut Shaming, Smut, Spanking, Sub Steve Rogers, Switching, Top Bucky Barnes, Verbal Humiliation, Wet Dream, Window Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 106,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25690912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia7041/pseuds/Sophia7041
Summary: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are married! They have a daughter named Natalia Barnes-Rogers. Everything seems perfectly fine except... Steve is keeping a secret, Bucky’s PTSD has gotten worse than before. Tony takes everyone on a world cruise. Will it be the best or worst decision he’s ever made? What secrets will unfold and will they all be able to survive the terrors that come with it?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Stucky: New Beginnings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862980
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Day 1: Miami

**Author's Note:**

> While this story takes place during a cruise the cruise is not the main storyline. There is a lot going on with each character during the cruise.

Natalia burst into tears as she tried and failed to reach her toy.

"We're here, honey." Steve said grabbing the toy and handing it to her.

She automatically stopped crying hugging the toy to her chest.

"Ga ab." She blabbered holding her arms up; toy still in hand.

He laughed as he picked her up.

"Come on, Daddy bought some of that baby food for you to try." He said as they walked down to the kitchen.

"Hey baby." Bucky said walking over and placing a kiss on their daughters cheek.

"Oh right you too. Hey Steve." He rolled his eyes jokingly.   
  
  


“Can really feel the love today.” Steve joked.

"How is she? I heard putting a little whiskey on her pacifier could help with her teething." Bucky added.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Steve wondered as he placed her in the high chair trying to feed her some of the mashed carrots.

"If not we'll need another baby." Bucky laughed as Natalia whacked the carrots back at Steve.

Steve gasped looking down at the orange mess on his white shirt.

"Give her the damn bottle." He snapped pulling his shirt off.

He groaned as he looked down at the stain, "This is never coming out!"   
  


  
Bucky hummed eying him up and down. 

"Play peekaboo and I'll figure out how to get that stain out." He said with a smile, realizing he was staring, as he took the shirt away heading to the basement.

Steve sank into the chair opposite Natalia.

"Okay, Natalia you're my daughter and I love you no matter how annoying you are. Let's play peekaboo."   


He covered his face with his hands before pulling them away, “Peekaboo!”

Natalia wailed.

"Natalia!" Steve sighed. He hadn’t meant to scare the child. 

He stood up and grabbed the pacifier and a bottle of whiskey.

He poured some into a cup and dipped the pacifier in before bringing it over to Natalia.

"Just do me a favor and don't become an alcoholic." He whispered and she opened her mouth for the pacifier.

Bucky brought him a new shirt; "You did not just give her whiskey. I was joking!"

"But it worked!" Steve tried to reason.   
  
  


“You’re the reason she’ll start drinking at 14 instead of 21!” 

“And that is a risk I am willing to take if it means she won’t cry right now.” 

Natasha walked in and sat on the island, "So? What's for breakfast?"

"I don't know maybe go back to your home and figure it out." Bucky muttered.

"Don't be mean." Natasha pouted as Steve handed her some bacon.

"He's just cranky I gave Natalia some whiskey." Steve said and Natasha started coughing violently.

"Dude are you okay?" Bucky asked with a laugh.

"You gave her whiskey?!" Natasha shouted.

"She's teething it helps numb her gums or something." Steve explained.

"Okay then... are you done packing?" She asked changing subjects.

Bucky looked up at her confused, "Packing?"

"For the cruise? We're leaving today!" Natasha shouted.

"How long is that going to last? I read she can start crawling anytime soon and a cruise is _not_ the ideal place to lose a baby." Bucky asked.

"Like 160 days or so." She answered.

"160- I- I think it would be best if Steve and I stayed here. There's no way it's safe."

"It'll be fine! Come on! Everyone's going."

"Not worth the risk." He said and Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's sending him puppy eyes.

Bucky whined looking down at him, "You can't do that! You know I can't say no when you give me those eyes."

Steve grinned pulling away.

"Natasha, we will start packing right away. You guys can get going to pick up Laura and the kids. We will meet you in Miami." He said.

Natasha laughed and high-fived him before running off.

"You're packing." Bucky said to him before walking away to go shower.

Steve sighed grabbing Natalia.

"Let's go pack, Natalia. We're going on a cruise." He whispered taking her up.

"Wilson, what the hell do you pack for a baby for a cruise?" He asked Sam having already called him.

"Swimsuits." Sam laughed.

"Obviously what else?"

"I have no idea pack necessities and if you need anything you can buy it later."

Steve hung up the phone and threw it towards the bed as he kept packing.

"What do you think, Natalia? Your blue or green onesie?" He asked holding out two onesies to her.

She reached over grabbing the blue onesie just as Bucky burst in through the door.

"WE MISSED VALENTINES DAY! AGAIN!" He shouted.

"Calm down. It's just a day where money hungry stores try to sell chocolates and flowers over priced. It doesn't really matter." Steve answered calmly as he continued packing, confused on why Bucky was making such a big deal of it.

He glanced over to him when he didn't say anything.

"Oh. Y-yeah. Okay." Bucky mumbled so he could try to leave without being awkward.

"Daddy's acting weird right?" Steve asked Natalia as Bucky walked away.

Natalia just blabbered out some random vowels flaying her arms around.

Two hours later he had finished packing.

He sighed as he looked over at the sleeping child.

"Lucky." He muttered turning on the baby monitor and heading out.

Bucky came out soon enough and laid down on top of him before sitting back up.

"Oh I'm sorry. Am I bothering you?" He asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"No? Why would you be?" Steve asked confused.

Bucky just lied back down.

Steve absentmindedly played with Bucky's hair letting him fall asleep on him.

"We're going to start heading out. It's a day to pick up Laura and the kids and then we still have to get to Miami." Natasha said through the phone a little while later.

"Okay. I think we're going to head down a few hours after lunch. Bucky and Natalia both decided to take a nap. Bucky's acting a little weird. I think he's upset we forgot about valentines but I'm not sure." Steve said with a shrug as Bucky stirred.

"Talk to him. We'll talk later Tony's trying to get everyone in the car. Don't forget her crib!"

And with that she hung up the phone as Bucky sat up with a yawn. 

He smiled and leaned over to kiss him stopping just before and pulling away.

"How does Chinese sound for lunch? I'm starving." He asked pulling the menu out from between the couch cushions. What? Steve didn’t know how to cook. They mostly ordered take-out. 

Steve sat there gaping upset at not getting his kiss.

"Rogers." Bucky said snapping his fingers.

" _Barnes_ -Rogers. Chinese sounds good." Steve answered shaking his head as Bucky placed in the order.

"Let me go get my wallet." Steve said standing up.

"Don't bother. I don't want you thinking I'm " _ **money hungry**_ "." Bucky snapped slightly.

"You _are_ upset we missed Valentine's Day!"

"Of course I'm upset!A hundred years ago we wouldn't be able to have a Valentine's Day! We've had two valentines days and we haven't celebrated either! God I hate myself! I hate that no matter how many times you tell me you love me or whatever I still worry you don't want this!" He shouted.

"Why don't you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with me?" He whispered, "I want to shower you with chocolates and gifts. I want to buy you a teddy bear you're going to end up giving Natalia. I want to hold your hand and take you out to a museum and listen to every word you have to say about the art pieces and then buy you flowers. Wanna catch a ferry boat and watch the sunset with my head on your shoulder or yours on mine. I want to kiss you short and sweet. I want us to sneak into a movie like the old days and sit in the back but make out. And I'd put my hand on your thigh and you'd keep swatting it away saying we're in public. I want to do couple-y things with you. I want to be able to walk in Central Park with you and Natalia without getting looks from others or hearing someone say how we are ruining her life because she is growing up without a mother. I wanna have a romantic dinner and open a fucking expensive bottle of wine. And later I'd take you up to our room and kiss you and hold you and, hell, have sex on a bed covered in rose petals. I want to celebrate Valentine's Day because the world isn't perfect but it's a hell of a lot better than it was a hundred years ago." 

"I'm scared. Of what everyone thinks. Why do we have to be different? What if one day we're out on a mission and someone won't let me save them because I just so happened to fall in love with a man instead of a woman? I want to spend valentines with you because I love you but life would be so much easier if I didn't." Steve answered looking down at his hands guiltily.

"So you have a choice. You fell for me but you also fell for Peggy so you can go and find someone who... who the public won't care that you're with." Bucky said with a nod trying to convince himself this was the right choice.

"I'm confused." Steve said looking over at him.

"I love you Steve. I wake up every morning and choose to love you the same way you do me. But I'm messed up. This has been the most amazing year and a half of my life and I can't thank you enough for it. If you want an out I'm giving it to you. I have places I can go. Natalia won't remember me so you won't have to worry about that and I'll sign whatever you need me to sign. We'll leave at five. If you're not in the car by 5:30 I'll understand and get my bags and go." Bucky said with a small smile. If it's what Steve wanted he wouldn't say no.

Steve didn't answer. Instead he stood up and grabbed two jackets tossing one to Bucky.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"We're going out. I'll call someone to come babysit. Maybe Monica. Hey she might be able to watch Stark and Widow too.”

* * *

Steve took Bucky down to the art museum just as he had said he wanted to do.

"What are we doing, Steve?" Bucky asked following him into the building.

Steve just smiled walking into the gift shop.

Bucky looked around awkwardly before lifting the hood of his jacket and pulling at the draw string.

He bought a stuffed bear and a bouquet of flowers saying a soft 'thank you' to the woman at the cash register.

"A stuffed bear for our daughter." He said handing Bucky the bear, "And some flowers for my handsome and **_god sexy_** husband." He added with a whisperer.

Bucky's face went red and he pulled at the strings again hoping for the hole to close completely.

Steve chuckled taking his hand in his own.

"Alright there, Buck?" He teased seeing how red Buckys face got.

"Shut up." Bucky mumbled looking down at his feet as Steve pulled him towards the art.

Steve talked for an hour about all the art they came across and Bucky couldn't help but laugh as they walked out.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked.

"You're just adorable." Bucky smiled leaning over and pressing a kiss on his lips.

"Don't call me adorable." Steve laughed nudging him.

"Home now?"

"Hell no. We're doing your entire date plan. You're taking me to watch the sunset and then for a romantic dinner and then we are going to go home and I can't promise we'll end up having sex seeing as we have a daughter and have to get to Miami."

They spent the next few hours on a ferry boat and then watching a movie before getting a bite to eat at a restaurant.

Bucky sat on his lap, his arms around his neck, kissing him over and over again in the car.

Steve pulled away with a grin, "okay okay we need to go get Natalia. We have 160 days where we can probably have Clint's kids babysit and have some alone time."

"Deal." Bucky laughed as he kicked open the car door and got off of Steve.

He went in, paid the sitter, thanked her, and grabbed Natalia along with a few extra things for the trip.

He placed her in the car seat and sat down in the back so if she started crying they wouldn't have to stop.

"I wonder where the others are. Probably already partying in Miami." Bucky said a a few hours into the drive as he played with Natalia.

"I have no clue but we should probably pull over soon."

"Google says there's a rest stop at the next exit. We could sleep in the car and get going early tomorrow."

Steve nodded as he pulled out at the exit and soon enough into a rest stop.   
  


  
“What does the sheep say, Natalia? Baaaaah” Bucky whispered showing her the toy sheep. 

He got out and opened Bucky's door. He helped him with the seats so they'd be facing down.

Bucky scooted to the middle so Steve could lie down.

As soon as Steve fixed some pillows and grabbed a few blankets he snuggled over dropping his head onto Steve's chest.

"Seriously?" He asked teasingly as he wrapped his arms around him.

"What? I'm always big spoon why can't I be little spoon for once?" Bucky whined.

Steve laughed kissing his forehead.

"I love you. You know that right? I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm with you til the end of the line, Buck." He whispered.

"I know. You're stuck with me and there's no return receipt." Bucky responded.

Natalia started kicking in her car seat trying to get some attention.

"What is it honey?" Steve asked and she, what he could only assume, glared at him.

He laughed and, careful not to disturb Bucky, reached over unbuckling the seatbelt.

She sat up looking for one of her toys.

Reaching to the back he grabbed the first toy he could.

"Rawr!" He stage-whispered handing her the stuffed bear.

Natalia giggled as she hugged the bear lying back down.

"You're meant to play scared."

Bucky smiled against Steve's chest as he lifted his head a bit, "I swear in her mind all she can think is 'Silly Papa'." He laughed.

Steve rolled his eyes ignoring him as he turned on the TVs that came with the car putting on one of the Winnie the Pooh movies to distract Natalia.

Steve woke up the next morning to find Bucky already driving.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." He laughed as Steve sat up with a smile.

"How far are we?" Steve asked.

"Almost there. Natalia's been an angel. She hasn't cried in hours. And I already fed and changed her. I also called Sam and told him we're close. Yes he made a sex joke."

"Has Mickey Mouse been playing all this time?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I can quote it word for word."

Steve laughed, "I promise as soon as we get on that ship I will get you a drink."

"A drink or a-"

"A drink."

"Damn. I was really looking forward to a... special gift."

"I'm sure Natalia does not want to hear her daddy having... a good time."

"I'm sure by the time she's 47 she will understand why we did what we did."

"47?"

"No teenage boy is going near my daughter. All they think about is sex. They are horny mother fuckers who can go suck a dick if they really want to get off.” 

"You're literally asking for sex right now!"

"There's a difference. I'm married and can't get pregnant. We're here."

"We are? Why is it so... pink." Steve asked as Bucky parked the car.

"Thank god you're here! The ship leaves in two hours!" Tony shouted as they got out of the car.

"Why are we by a pink building?" Steve asked again.

"It's the hotel. Don't worry we're not staying in it. The dock is right by here so get your bags so we can get them loaded in." Tony explained.

"I'll get the bags and you can get Natalia ready and talk with the others." Bucky said pressing a kiss to his husbands cheek before helping Tony with the bags.

"Oh my god is this her?" Laura whispered walking over to where Steve was placing Natalia into the stroller.

"No this is the baby we stole from the park on the way here. Of course it's her!" He laughed.

"I guess it was a stupid question. What's her name?"

"Natalia Beck Barnes-Rogers. Kind of a mouth full."

"She is beautiful."

"Just like her Aunty Wanda."

"Oof. I got demoted from bio mother to aunt." Wanda added jokingly.

"E-a-enp." Natalia said holding her hands out.

"You want your elephant?" Steve asked as he turned back to the car when Natalia smiled.

"Where's your elephant honey? I know we brought it." He asked turning back to her.

Natalia looked up at him confused and like she was about to cry.

"No no honey don't start crying. Can someone call Bucky?!" He shouted as he picked Natalia up bouncing around.

Sam rolled his eyes walking over as taking the baby away from Steve.

"I will take care of her while you search for the elephant."He said offering Steve a comforting smile.

"I am a really bad parent." Steve said with a tired laugh as he went back to searching for the elephant.

Natalia started crying.

"Honey please don't cry!" Steve shouted practically tearing the car apart searching for the elephant.

The crying stopped and he turned around confused; "Where the hell did they go?!"

"For a walk to calm your daughter down." Clint said.

"Where are your kids?" Steve asked raising an eyebrow.

"They are at the beach with Peter. I don't trust that kid but he is Spider-Man so how much safer can they be?" Clint answered matter of factly.

* * *

Sam walked onto the beach finding Clint's kids.

"Lila right?" He asked.

"Yes Mr. Wilson."

"Sam. Can you watch her for like... five minutes? I want to get a hot dog. You have like nothing to worry about she can't even walk yet." He said with a laugh as he handed Lila the child who had only just stopped crying.

"Of course." Lila said with a smile as Sam walked towards the hot dog stand.

"Hi there sweetie. I'm your cousin Lila. I’m going to take you to get your first tattoo when you get mad at your daddy's." She said to Natalia as she walked over to where her brothers were and placed her down on the towel.

* * *

Slumping to the ground Steve gave up on searching for the elephant.

"I need to go back to New York. Or the rest stop. God she probably threw it out the window at some point and we didn't notice. What if she never sleeps again? What if she never stops crying? What if she hates me forever?" He said as Bucky ran over to the car.

"Ele-elephant. Accidentally... I... took... bunny... no." He said shaking his head holding out the elephant.

"You had it?!" Steve shouted.

"Accidentally! I meant to take the bunny to put it in the bag and didn't realize until we got to the ship. I just ran like seven miles." Bucky explained as he looked around.

"Where is Natalia?" He wondered out loud.

"Sam took her."

"They're probably down at the beach with the other kids." Clint added.

"The- the beach? As in where there's water?"

"I'm sure Sam isn't stupid enough to put Natalia in the water." Clint assured him.

"But what if he sets her down and then the wind starts blowing and she like I don't know flys into the ocean."

"If Natalia can fly; the ocean is the least of our worries." Steve added.

"She might we don't know! Don't you remember when I was sick and we were in the kitchen? We left Natalia in the living room and then she was suddenly in the kitchen with us."

"You had a fever and I probably brought her and just didn't remember."

"I didn't want to say anything," Wanda said from behind them, "but I can manipulate things with my _mind_ and... fly and stuff. In case you forgot."

"Oh great. We're both superhuman yet we went with you because at least the guys who did it to you weren't evil and yet we fuckinh forgot that they did the same thing to Wanda! We still came out with a mutant baby!" Bucky shouted throwing his hands up.

"Um excuse you." Wanda scoffed.

"I don't mean to be rude but a baby is hard enough without it being able to fly."

* * *

"Where's Caps kid?" Sam asked walking back over to the kids.

Lila looked up from her book.

"What are you talking about? She's right-" she pointed to where she had placed Natalia to find her missing.

"Right _where_?"

"I- I'm sorry. I just remembered Coop took her to make a sandcastle with Nate." She laughed as if she wasn't lying.

"Oh. Okay. Well they found the elephant. We should get back soon. There's this whole safety thing before the boat can set off."

Cooper walked over to where Lila and Sam were.

"Have you heard from dad? I wanted to know if we had time to grab a bite." He asked.

"Probably not."

"Where's Natalia?" Sam asked.

"Who? Auntie Nat? She's probably with my dad."

"No Natalia. Steve and Bucky's kid!"

"I don't-"

"Didn't you give her to Peter? He went to get everyone ice cream." Lila cut him off.

"Right." Cooper lied.

"Oh my god you guys are terrible liars where the hell is the kid?!" Sam yelled looking around for Natalia.

"Natalia?!" He shouted starting to search for her.

"FOUND HER!" Lila shouted as she picked up Natalia who had crawled over to the ocean.

"Oh my god." Sam whispered running over and taking her from Lila.

"Natalia honey you can't do that! Your daddy would kill me if I lost you." He whispered.

He grimaced at the realization that he had just referred to Bucky as 'daddy'.

He got the rest of the kids and headed back to the parking lot where the others were.

"Finally!" Bucky sighed as he took Natalia away from Sam.

"You didn't tell me how fast she can crawl! It would've been better to know before she tried to crawl into the ocean."

"She tried to what?!" Steve shouted.

"She crawled?" Bucky whispered.

"Yeah she almost got into the ocean. Scared me half to death thinking about Barnes killing me."

"Oh my god she could've died." Steve whispered gripping his chest.

"We missed her crawling for the first time." Bucky added in a whisper.

"So? We'll just have to make sure to be there when our next kid crawls for the first time." Steve said off handedly.

"Our wha- I'm sorry next?"

"Yeah? We agreed on two didn't we? Well, a minimum of two. I mean who knows? We might decide on more later on down the road."

"You're talking like we're going to have a second kid _soon_. We haven't even had Natalia for a year."

“Yeah but by the time we get back she'll be turning one and I mean we don't want there to be such a big age difference so I was thinking maybe four months after her one year birthday. Maybe a little less I mean it’s gotta cook for nine months." Steve explained and Bucky paled.

He nodded and started walking away.

"Buck? Where are you going?" He asked.

"We don't want the ship to leave without us!" Bucky said not stopping.

  
“Did I say something?” Steve asked. 

Half an hour later they all headed to the boat.

"Shut the front door." Steve breathed as they entered the "living room" of the ship.

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"I'm trying to watch my language. Natalia can understand most of what I'm saying and we don't want her first word to be fuck or shit." He explained with a laugh as Clint walked to the bar and started ordering drinks.

"And they have an entire spa with like a sauna except made of snow." Tony added as he walked around the ship.

"Yes because that's just what I want. More ice."

"They also have Hollywood 1940's music. And a movie theater."

"What rooms are we staying in?" Bucky asked walking down the stairs.

"Where have you been?"

"Around."

"Everyone has an owners suite. It's on deck 7. I'll show you." Tony answered and everyone followed him up to the rooms.

Tony unlocked one of the many doors before handing Bucky and Steve a key to that room.

"This is your room."

"It's great but where's Natalia meant to sleep?" Steve asked.

"The closet. You didn't mind it for a hundred years I doubt she'll mind it for a few months."

"Tony!"

"Calm down. Your room is connected to the one the kids are using. I'm sure they'll babysit." Tony laughed as Bucky opened the door to the balcony.

"Okay we're definitely having sex out here." Steve whispered.

"Out here? As in out out. In the open?!"

"Hell yeah. It's a ship, Bucky. If we don't have sex it's like were letting the world down." He said lightly biting his neck.

Bucky squirmed pulling away, "Stevie! Natalia doesn't need to hear this!" He mumbled feeling his face heat up.

"You're kidding me. We've gone six months without sex and you've turned into a blushing virgin."

"I did not! I just... it's been a while and I love you and I do miss having sex- trust me I do- but I also know I'm going to be worried that we're going to miss something else of Natalia’s. Or what if she starts crying midway through and we would end up just having to stop!"

"You're afraid you can't get it up."

"I'm afraid if I get it up it'll never come down! Or that it'll... _happen_ to fast." Bucky explained as he walked back into the room setting Natalia on the bed as he started to get the crib open and Steve couldn't help but smirk at the implication.

He bit the inside of his cheek to hide the smirk and picked up Natalia before walking over to the door that connected their room to the room Clint's kids (and Peter) would be using.

"Twenty bucks if you watch her for half an hour." He whispered handing Peter the kid along with twenty dollars.

"Thirty minutes? Really? Thought you could "do this all day"."

"I'm not planning on doing it just... getting him in the mood. Shouldn't you be in school?!" He asked before slamming the door in his face.

He turned around and walked over to Bucky.

Pulling his husband towards him, he wrapped his arms around his waist kissing his neck.

"Steve, Natalia's here." Bucky whispered.

"No she's not. I gave her to the spider kid." Steve mumbled.

Bucky turned around in his arms looking left and right contemplating shutting the curtains before pushing him down onto the bed climbing on him.

"I could do this all day." He whispered trying not to laugh as Steve’s face dropped wondering why he had ever said that.

Natasha sipped her mimosa her toes dipped in the pool as she turned to Pepper and then Wanda.

"Who's gonna tell them they're on full view?" She smirked.


	2. Days 2-4: Jamaica

Steve grinned playing his head on his husbands chest, outlining his abs with his finger.

"If sex is always like that I will gladly wait six months again." He laughed.

"I promise I won't make you wait six more months. I guess the fact that you were a virgin for a hundred years slipped from my mind. No wonder you're hornier than most teenagers."

"Can you blame me? My husband is _dangerously_ sexy." He growled leaning up to bite his ear.

Someone knocked at the door and they both sat up.

"One minute." Steve called.

Ignoring Steve's response Natasha walked in and turned on the tv.

"Natasha! We're naked here!" Steve shouted reaching for some pants.

He quickly pulled them on before turning to Bucky.

"These are yours aren't they?" He asked shaking his head.

"Unless you decided to start wearing leather. Although... I wouldn't complain."

"Can you cover up?!" Steve shouted at Bucky as Natasha shot him a concerned look.

"No need. The whole ship saw and heard you guys having sex. Maybe next time close the curtains. Who's kink is it to-" Natasha said with a smirk.

"Steve’s."

"That is not-"

"I accidentally dropped my hand and he asked to do it again. As far as I'm concerned, that makes it his kink."

"The team is going to play pool if you want to join us." Natasha continued ignoring them.

Steve looked over at Bucky waiting for him to respond.

"Yeah sure. We just have to check in on Natalia and see if Peter or maybe Lila could watch her for a few more hours."

"Good. We still have two days before we land in Jamaica. Put on some pants and meet us down by the bar." Natasha smiled before walking out of their room.

As soon as she was out Bucky shot up pulling on some clothes before running out of the room.

"What just happened?" Steve asked himself before following him out to find him knocking on the door next door.

Peter finally answered the door with Natalia.

"Natalia honey come here daddy missed you." He coo'd as Peter handed him the baby.

He grinned, "Daddy missed you so much. Yes he did yes he did." He said in a baby voice rubbing his nose against her cheek as she laughed.

Steve smiled from behind them.

"Papa missed you too baby girl." He added before turning to Peter.

"Would you-"

"No. Babies are annoying. Ask Lila. I'm sure she'll gladly take care of her." Peter said before Steve could ask him to watch her longer.

"Where is she?" Bucky asked.

"I think that place that plays music from the 40's? She might be trying to try out her fake ID."

"I hate teenagers." Bucky muttered walking away.

"You promise you won't ever get a fake ID right, Natalia? You'll be a good person like your Papa was as a teenager right? You won't be like me?" He said earning himself a puzzled look.

"She has no clue what you're saying." Steve laughed.

"Lila!" Bucky said when they finally found her.

"The adults are planning on playing a few rounds of pool do you think you could watch Natalia for us? Just read her a book, have her on her belly for like half an hour, see if she crawls a bit, oh and help her stand a bit before putting her down to bed. The crib is already set up." He explained.

"Yeah totally. Sounds like fun." Lila shrugged as she took Natalia away from Bucky.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"Daddy loves you. Papa does too. We'll be back later okay? Your elephant is in the crib and I'm sure your cousin Lila here can find whatever else you need." Steve said to Natalia before pulling Bucky away so he couldn't decide to stay.

"Say bye to your dads." Lila said grabbing Natalia’s hand and waving with it.

Natalia laughed and when Lila let go she waved for herself.

"Oh Natalia..." Steve frowned stopping in his tracks.

"Stevie separation anxiety is going to start a hell of a lot earlier if we keep this up." Bucky smiled, now his turn to pull Steve away.

"Two whiskeys on the rocks with a twist. Don't forget a plate of cherries." Bucky said to the bartender as Steve walked over to the others.

"What ya thinking?" Tony asked taking a seat by Bucky.

"About how much I miss my baby girl. I'm trying to come up with a nickname but I can't figure one out. Natalia is just such a long name but we can't call her Nat because... well... Nat." Bucky laughed.

"I'm terrified of missing something important." He added.

"Think of it this way, you still have her teenage years and _puberty_ and _boys_ \- or girls -heartbreaks and first loves. You missed her crawling. You'll be there for everything else." Tony smirked at the look of horror on Bucky's face.

"She's not dating until I'm dead. I know what goes through the mind of a teenage boy and I will not hesitate to kill one if they dare lay a hand on my daughter."

"Which is why I pray for a son." Tony laughed.

"Oh my god is Pepper pregnant?"

"N- why does everyone always assume she's pregnant?!"

"Because you make stupid statements about children!"

"For your information we have started talking about it but that's it. Unlike you and Rogers. Already planning your second child." Tony said nudging him in the ribs.

"Where's that whiskey I ordered? I assumed they'd have better service. Maybe I should go get one from one of the other bars." Bucky said turning around in hopes of avoiding the subject.

"Oh my god do you not want a second kid? You have to tell Steve!" Tony whispered.

"Of course I want a second child it's just... we were given a suggestion not to use my... _specimen_ given the fact that we don't know what hydra did to me other than frying my brain and we don't want a mutant child."

"I'm not getting the point."

"What if I'd love a child that was... mine more than Natalia? What if I'm missing something?"

"Impossible. Blood doesn't matter. I hate to love you and I love to hate you. We're family. No blood required."

"Let me rephrase, what if _Natalia_ doesn't love me like she loves Steve because he's her dad."

"Kids hate their parents, Bucky. You'll tell her to clean her room she'll say you're not her real dad, one day Steve will say something and she'll get upset and tell him she wishes he wasn't her dad. Think of it this way she'll be a year old when we get back and Steve said he was thinking four months after that. The next kid would be born when Natalia is 2 years... 1? Month? A lot can change in 2 years."

"Sorry for the wait here you go." The bartender said passing him both glasses and a plate of cherries.

"Barnes! Stark! Get over here!" Natasha shouted and they headed over.

Bucky handed Steve one of the glasses before sitting down on his lap.

"What's the first game?" He asked.

"Flip cup. Sam is the reigning champion." Clint explained as Sam set up the cups.

"Not for long. If these two really want a second kid anytime soon I gotta get to drinking." Wanda said as she walked to one side of the table.

"Okay I'll take it easy on you."

"Oh don't go making excuses for when you lose."

"Fine. Ready?"

"You know it."

"Go!" Clint shouted and they both got to chugging they're drinks.

"Who's gonna win?" Bucky whispered.

"If Sam can beat Tony he can beat anyone." Steve answered with a laugh.

"Done!" Sam shouted throwing his hands up.

"Who's up next?" He asked turning towards everyone.

No one made a move to play.

"Bucky will do it." Steve said pushing Bucky off his lap and onto his feet.

"I- but I don't want to." Bucky whispered.

"You two need to get along better. A friendly competition will help with that."

"We had a friendly competition. I won when I married you."

"Actually you lost. You became his husband leaving the role of best friend wide open." Sam said from the table.

"Okay you wanna go?! I will throw you off this damn ship, Wilson!" Bucky shouted as Natasha handed him a hair tie.

"You can't," Steve whispered, "he bought Natalia a toy today. Wait three days before you attack him."

"Stevie!" He whined.

" _No_ , Bucky. Beat him in the game instead of beating him up."

"He insulted me! And threatened me!"

"You almost murdered me and I still love you."

"Yeah but you love me because I give you sex. I refuse to do that for Wilson."

"No thank you I'm straight." Sam said.

Steve rolled his eyes before pulling Bucky down and whispering in his ear.

Bucky turned about twelve different shades of red before Steve finally let go of him.

"I- _Steve_."

"I heard they sell strawberry flavored co-"

"What are you waiting for an invitation?! Fill the damn cups!" Bucky shouted before Steve could finish.

Once Clint said go again they both started chugging the drinks.

"Ha! I win! Again!" Sam laughed as he flipped the final cup.

Annoyed, Bucky threw his last cup at him.

"I hate you." He scoffed.

"I hate you too."

"What now?" Bucky asked ignoring Sam.

"Body shots?" Natasha asked wiggling her eyebrows as she pulled out a bottle of tequila.

"I'll pass. One of us needs to stay sober." Steve said with a smile holding his hand up to pass.

"Yeah I thought we were going to play pool." Laura said confused.

"You know who's great at pool?" Bucky asked.

"Steve?" Wanda muttered rolling her eyes as Bucky nodded.

"I'm really not. I just played a bit back in the day. I'm sure rules are different or whatever." Steve said waving his hand in a 'forget it' motion.

It took some convincing but Steve finally played a few rounds with Clint, Pepper, and even Natasha played a round against him.

"Okay I quit. This shouldn't be this hard. It's pool!" Natasha shouted.

"I told you he was good." Bucky smiled.

"Okay bed time. We have to be up early if we want to do anything when the ship arrives at our first stop." Tony said standing up.

Bucky waited until everyone was gone before pulling Steve towards him.

"I love you so much." He smiled.

"I love you too." Steve smiled pulling Bucky to his feet.

Lila walked into the room with a crying Natalia.

"I'm sorry she won't stop crying. Everything was okay I fed her, changed her, I put her to bed and she fell asleep almost instantly but she just started crying an hour ago and I can't figure out why." She apologized.

Bucky looked over at Steve who nodded before taking Natalia away from the girl.

"Thank you, Lila. She's teething so it's not a surprise." Steve said as he handed her some money.

"100 bucks?! Can I babysit tomorrow too?" She asked.

"Haha. No. Maybe. Go to bed." Steve laughed.

"Baby girl what's the matter?" Bucky whispered as he followed Steve up to their room.

When they arrived in the room Steve grabbed one of the teething rings handing it to Bucky to give to Natalia.

"I'll stay up until she falls asleep." Steve said as Bucky set her in the crib.

"You don't have to. I can do that." Bucky said with a yawn.

Steve smiled, "You're tired. Sleep. We'll be okay for eight hours."

Bucky rolled his eyes but nodded.

He went to change meanwhile Steve grabbed the stuffed animal Sam had got for Natalia.

"It's a Bucky Bear. Apparently they made a bunch of them a while ago and he found it and couldn't help but buy it." He whispered.

Natalia laughed reaching up and taking the toy away from Steve.

"A-ey!"

"Yeah it's daddy." Steve laughed.

"What about me?" Bucky asked.

"Nothing. Just trying to get her to talk."

"Think we're still a few months away from that."

"She's got her vowels down. You never know." Steve shrugged as Bucky walked over to give him a kiss before crawling into bed.

He smiled as he watched the love of his life play with the stuffed animal trying to get their daughter to fall asleep.

"Okay don't stare at me I can't think when you look at me like that." Steve laughed.

"I can't help it. I just love you so much." Bucky smiled as Steve turnt towards him, "You. Natalia. Our family. It's everything I want and everything I never thought we'd have."

"That your way of telling me you don't want a second kid?"

"Actually I think it's my way of telling you that... even though it's terrifying I do want one. Natalia needs someone to play with."

Steve smiled leaning against the bed.

"I love our family too." He whispered.

Bucky hummed in approval; half asleep.

"If you could go back and change one thing, without changing any of this, what would you change?" Steve asked.

"What would you change?"

"I'd come out to my mom. I'd tell her all about the man I would one day end up marrying."

Bucky smiled moving closer to the side of the bed and grabbing his hand.

"I'd tell you I love you. Then I'd tell my father to go to hell."

"What exactly happened between you and your dad?"

"I think he figured out I was gay before I did. He didn't really like me spending time with you either."

"That explains so much." Steve laughed.

"Mmhm." Bucky mumbled nodding his head.

Once Natalia fell asleep he stood up slowly creeping into bed.

He pulled Bucky closer to him with a smile.

Bucky smiled turning around to face him giving him a small kiss.

"Sleep, love. I'm sure Tony has a lot planned for tomorrow. I don't want you tired." He whispered snuggling into the embrace.

* * *

"Good morning passengers we hope you have enjoyed the past two days on board the ship. We have now arrived in Jamaica. You may stay on ship or leave whenever you would like. Enjoy the day and please do not forget to be back on the ship by ten p.m.." The speakers announced.

"All clean. What should you wear today, Natalia?" Bucky said walking out of the bathroom.

"Put her in that cute little safari outfit Wanda bought for her."

"Which one?" Bucky laughed.

"Put her in the one that makes her look as if she worked at a safari but take the others just in case. We don't know how long we'll be out and if she gets uncomfortable it's good to have backup." Steve answered.

He nodded taking out the outfit.

"Look at you so pretty like your Papa." He whispered when he finished putting the outfit on Natalia.

"Do you wanna go down to eat or should we just get some room service?" He asked Steve.

"Room service. I'll call if you start feeding Natalia." Steve answered.

"What do you feel like today, honey? Pea's or carrots?" He asked taking out the two small cans along with starting on a bottle.

She grabbed the carrot jar and Bucky nodded putting away the pea's.

"I have no clue how you eat these. They smell disgusting, honestly." He laughed as he grabbed a small spoonful.

"Here comes the choo choo train." He said as he brought the spoon to her mouth.

Steve finished ordering breakfast coming back into the room.

"Open up for the train." Bucky said and Natalia giggled.

"You are so weird." Steve said with a scoff walking over to him.

"I have no clue what you're talking about I'm just trying to feed my-" he cut himself off as he turnt around accidentally putting the spoon in his husband's mouth.

"Oh god that's what we're feeding her? It's disgusting!" Steve said scrunching his face up as he ran to the trash can to spit it out.

"I am so sorry." Bucky said with a small laugh.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny!" Steve shouted.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" He said as he turned back to the child.

"Okay open." He said grabbing some more of the mashed carrots and bringing it to the baby's mouth.

Natalia hit the spoon out of Bucky's hand.

"Natalia!" Bucky shouted picking the spoon up.

He huffed walking off to the bathroom to wash the spoon.

He came back to find she had whacked the jar down.

"This is your fault! You said it was disgusting and now she doesn't want to eat it!" Bucky accused.

"Well it is disgusting!"

"She needs to eat one jar at each meal! It's to help her off the milk so that when she stops drinking it she'll eat normally!"

"Look I'm sorry just give her something else." Steve shrugged not seeing the issue.

"She's not going to eat it because her Papa just threw a fit over it."

Steve scoffed, "What do you want me to do? Eat a jar of baby food?"

"Yes, actually. Eat a jar in front of her and exaggerate how good it tastes so she'll eat it." Bucky said as he pulled out two new jars, this time mashed banana.

He raised an eyebrow waiting.

"I'll cry." Steve promised.

"If you cry, I swear to god Steven, I will put you over my knee." Bucky warned shoving the jar into Steve's hand.

Steve grumbled under his breath as he sat down in the chair.

"What was that?" Bucky snapped.

"Nothing!" Steve shouted as he opened the jar.

He took a small spoonful of the goop, bringing the spoon to his mouth.

"This one's better than the carrots!" He said as if he had just had an epiphany.

"Does that mean that's what you're eating from now on?" Bucky laughed answering the door and grabbing their food.

"You already ate the entire jar?!" He asked.

"It was like four spoonfuls!" Steve said defending himself.

"Sure." Bucky said rolling his eyes as he fed Natalia who gladly ate the food, "Told you it would work."

"You guys ready to go?" Sam asked standing at the door impatiently.

"Yeah practically. I'll eat on the way to the place." Bucky said as he grabbed the bag with all of Natalia's things. 

"I have to carry her don't I?" Steve asked and Bucky nodded.

He sighed putting on the baby carrier and placing her in it.

"Finally." Tony laughed as they met at the door.

"Where are we going first?"

"The mystic mountain." He answered as they got on the gold cart that would take them to the area.

Five minutes later they arrived at the mountain.

"We're climbing a mountain. Great." Clint scoffed and they followed Tony.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Steve whispered as they walked along the river.

"What?" Bucky asked.

"Our first date." He smiled.

Wanda let out a blood curling scream covering them all in a red bubble.

"What?! What is it?!" Natasha asked.

"There's a- there's an alligator!"

"You've got to be kidding, Wanda. It's not like it'll hurt you!" Steve sighed.

"And It's a crocodile." Tony added.

"Look at it's teeth!" She shouted pointing at the crocodiles mouth.

"It's a carnivore. Should we maybe send her back to school?" Steve wondered.

"That's it! I'm going back onto the ship. Maybe I can book a flight back to New York. I should probably see if Vis and I can fix things." She said starting to walk away, the bubble still around her.

Bucky smirked running over to Tony to ask him a question. When he got the answer he was hoping for he ran to Wanda, whispering in her ear.

She looked back at the others and then at Bucky before sighing continuing on the climb.

"What did you say to her?" Sam asked.

He shrugged with a grin.

After an hour of climbing they got to the top.

"You're telling me there was a lift we could've taken?!" Sam shouted whacking Tony over the head.

Taking the distraction, Bucky snuck off.

"Hi. How much to hold the snake?" He asked a man.

"$5 to hold $10 for a picture." The man answered.

"I'll give you $15 if I can put it around that mans shoulders and you take the picture while he cries." Bucky said pointing over at Steve.

He grinned as the man handed him the snake and he snuck over to Steve.

He placed the snake around Steve's neck and Natalia giggled.

"What does your daughter find so funny?! Are you just always flipping people off?" Natasha asked turning around, mouth falling open at the sight of the snake.

"What?" Steve asked confused.

"I think she likes the new scarf I just got you." Bucky said with a smirk and Steve reached up towards his neck.

"What the hell?" He asked looking down.

The snake looked up at him and he screamed.

"Get it off get it off get it off!" He shouted jumping up and down as Wanda laughed.

"I don't know, Babe. I think you look good in animal print." Bucky said with a shrug.

"Barnes if you don't get it off now I swear I will break up with you!" Steve sobbed looking at the sky as he jumped up and down trying to get it off.

As soon as the man clicked the picture he took it off of his husband. He handed him the snake back taking the picture.

"This is going to be my new look screen." He laughed shaking the picture.

"You're a dick!"

"I didn't think it would work I'm glad it did though."

"I hate you so much."

"I hate you too. Can we go now?"

"Only way down I through the zip line." Tony answered.

"Okay. Where's the time machine? I'm going to go make sure I die this time." Bucky said and Steve grabbed his hand.

"Come on, if it's dangerous they wouldn't have it."

"Same with the snake. At least I'm not crying like a baby."

Natalia threw her toy at him upset.

"No offense to you honey I love you. Your father is a big baby though." Bucky said handing her back the toy.

"I'm not the one afraid of heights and going on things that have been tested. A snake could be deadly or venomous." Steve explained, his voice mocking.

"Fine. Fine!" Bucky shouted walking over to the zip line. He got the gear on and attached the rope to himself.

"Shit Bucky wait no you-" Steve started but it was too late as Bucky jumped off, screaming.

"BAD IDEA BAD IDEA!" He shouted grabbing onto the machine like his life depended on it seeing as it probably did.

"He can jump off buildings but this he's afraid of?" Natasha asked.

"I'm a terrible husband. That being said, I'm not going down that with a child. I will meet you down there using the lift." Steve said going to walk away before being zoomed down the rope.

He screamed as he went down right after Bucky soon being followed by the others.

"Sorry. That was more fun." Sam said with a shrug.

"Bucky are you okay?" Steve asked ignoring Sam.

"Yeah. That wasn't so bad." Bucky smiled.

"That's great."

"Yeah just one second." He said before walking behind a tree to throw up.

He walked back over, "Okay. I'm good now."

Steve frowned, "Honey, I love you which is why I think you should probably head back to the ship."

They went river rafting and tubing before the sun finally set.

"God are we done? I thought the road trip was bad." Steve asked.

"And he got shot. That should tell you something, Tony." Natasha added.

"We're almost done." Tony promised as they walked over to a lagoon.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Go in!" Tony laughed but everyone walked away.

"Are you guys going to bed or do you wanna come to dinner with us?" Clint asked as they climbed onto the ship.

"I'm not sure. Bucky?" Steve asked, turning to his husband.

"I'm going to go see if I can get Natalia to crawl some more but you can go ahead. If she's asleep by the time you get back we can uh, we can have a little fun." Bucky said.

Steve nodded with a smile, "I'll be up in an hour."

"Okay, I love you."

"Aw I love you too, Barnes." Sam joked.

Bucky rolled his eyes walking away.

He set Natalia down on the ground and grabbed her elephant sitting about a foot away from her.

"Come here baby. Come to daddy!" He said holding the toy out.

Natalia let out a cry.

"No no no Natalia, baby, honey, don't cry." He said hurrying over to the baby's side.

He picked her up and put her down on his lap, shaking the elephant near her face.

"See? Daddy's here. So is your elephant. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." He promised, wiping her tears.

Steve smiled from the door, walking over to his husband and sitting down next to him.

"I thought you were going to dinner." Bucky said confused as Steve laid his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but I missed you two too much."

"That's sweet but it's okay. You can go be with the others."

"Bucky, baby, I'm here. I wanna spend time with my family. So, no crawling?"

"No. She bounces a lot. And she stands for a few seconds! But nothing more."

"That's okay. Some babies don't crawl. Anyways, I signed us all up for yoga!"

"What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took so long and is so short. Next chapter is around 17k words and lots of smut. I hope you guys enjoyed!


	3. Day 5-6: Aruba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rape, Smut, and self harm warning. Bucky’s past is slowly coming out. What does it hold for him and his husband?

"Welcome, everyone. As a way to pass time while on board to our next destination you have all chosen to sign up for the free yoga lessons." A woman said softly. 

"Go ahead and get on a mat. We will start out with some stretching." She added.

"This all seems a bit... much." Wanda said as they all headed towards some mats.

"And unsafe. All these candles? I feel like I should probably go take care of Natalia." Bucky agreed.

Steve laughed grabbing his hand to stop him.

"Come on! I wore stretchy pants for this." He whispered, looking at Wanda and his husband with pleading eyes.

"One lesson." Bucky sighed.

Steve jumped into his arms kissing him.

When he finally pulled away, Bucky laughed.

"I said one!"

"You're giving it a try! That's all I care about."

"Okay let's start out simple with the cat to cow pose." The instructor said clicking the remote so a picture of the pose would show on the screen.

Bucky snorted and the instructor shot him a glare.

"Sorry." He whispered getting down on the ground to start the pose.

"Very good, Mr. ?"

"Barnes-Rogers." Steve answered.

"Very good, Mr. Barnes-Rogers, but you're pelvis should be closer to the floor." She said still walking around, "Now bend your spine the other way so you look more like this." She said to the class.

"Good, everyone. Now lie on your back with your knees bent and pulled to your chest."

"You know..." Bucky started breaking off in a laugh.

"Now straighten your legs and brace your lower back with your hands, bend at the hips, and keep your feet together." She said ignoring Bucky.

Walking over to him she grabbed his feet and pulled his legs closer to his head.

"Jesus you're going to pop them off me! I'm not a doll!" He shouted.

"After giving birth this is nothing, Bucky, so shut up." Wanda laughed.

"Okay everyone stand with your feet about three feet apart and bend down grabbing your feet."

Everyone did just as the instructor said.

"Damn, Rogers, nice ass." Bucky said with a smirk enjoying the view.

"Quit starring you're going to make me-" he didn't get to finish the sentence as he fell over.

"Out!" The woman shouted and they both looked over at her.

"You can stay." She said pointing at Steve, "You can come back when you decide to keep your thoughts to yourself." She added to Bucky.

Bucky stood up putting his shoes back on, "My pleasure." He winked walking out.

Two hours later the class ended.

"Better go find your husband. Bet he's flirting by the pool." Wanda laughed.

"I'll see you later." Steve smiled walking out to find Bucky exactly where Wanda said he'd be.

He walked over to the chair where Bucky lay, "You said you'd try."

"I did. She kicked me out. I'll try again I promise but I'm not keeping my jokes to myself. They're too funny for that."

"Where's our daughter?"

"Peter's watching her in the kiddie pool. Don't worry it's just a plastic tub she's sitting in. The heat was killing me I couldn't even begin to imagine her." Bucky explained. 

Steve nodded looking around before back at his husband, "Did you put on sunscreen?"

"Yes, daddy I put on sun screen. I'm a big boy." Bucky said in a mocking tone with a roll of his eyes.

"You forgot."

"Yes, yes I did."

Steve laughed bending down to look for the sunscreen in the bag.

He let out a screech as Bucky smacked his ass.

"Bucky!" He said turning towards him, face bright red.

"I'm sorry! It's the stretchy pants! Plus... I'm sure you liked it."

"Whether or not I like it does not matter we're in public!"

"Then don't ask me to do it tonight."

"That's- you're- fuck you."

"Fuck you too." Bucky laughed as Steve leaned over kissing him.

He pulled away with a smile, "We still have the rest of the day. We get to Aruba tomorrow."

Bucky nodded confused on where he was going.

"Let's go on a date."

Stevie... I- I kinda told Sam we'd do something tonight. I'm trying to get along with him for you."

"You'd rather hang out with Sam than me?" Steve asked practically growling.

"That's not exactly what I meant." Bucky said trying not to laugh at the jealousy in his husbands voice.

"He's a fucking bird! What could you possibly do with him that's better than sex with me?!" He shouted.

"Poker. Drink some beers. Talk about you."

"You prefer poker than sex?"

"Steven I swear-" He started as Steve stormed away.

He walked over to Sam's door and started knocking.

Sam finally answered, "Yoga over? You wanna come in?"

"You're trying to steal my husband!" Steve shouted.

"I'm never making plans again." Sam said rolling his eyes as he closed the door.

"WILSON YOU CANT JUST CLOSE THE DOOR ON MY FACE!" Steve shouted.

"Captain Rogers? Is everything okay?" Peter asked.

"Y-yes. Everything is just fine." Steve smiled turning around, "Where are you taking Natalia?"

"Your husband asked me to get her a bottle."

"Oh I'll take her. Go. Have some fun with the others." He said reaching over and taking the baby away.

He walked over to his room, "Now, where the hell did your daddy put the bottles? Did he put them in here? Or maybe in here." He said as he opened the cabinets.

"The one closest to the sink." Bucky answered.

"How the hell did you get here?"

"While you were shouting at Sam. I knew if I sent the kid you'd take Natalia and do it yourself." He scoffed.

"Sam is straight, Steve. And I'm married. To you! We have a daughter and we're even talking about a second kid already! I'm spending time with Wilson because as much as I hate it he's your best friend not me."

"You're my husband."

"Exactly. I can't be your husband and your best friend because you need someone to talk to when I drive you mad or you want to ask me to do something and don't know how to. I talk to Natasha when you drive me mad and I go to Tony when I need help with our sex life. If Wilson is going to be the person you go to for those things I need to make an effort to... get along with him."

Steve sighed as he handed Natalia a bottle setting her down in the play crib.

"Thank you for making an effort. But it hurts that you'd prefer to play poker then go on a date with me!"

"That's not true and you know it. We'll go on a date next week. As for sex..." Bucky trailed off as he turnt on the baby monitor and placed it near Natalia.

"She's distracted playing... we can glance over every once and a while to check the monitor..." he kept trailing off waiting for Steve to get the hint.

It took Steve a whole two minutes before it finally set in, "Bucky!"

"She won't know! Come on! It's either now or never." He whispered walking towards the door.

When Steve didn't follow he took his pants off and through them out the door.

Steve looked down at the pants, over to the closed door, and then over at Natalia.

"Honey I am so sorry but when you're my age you'll understand." He whispered as he got up and ran towards the room.

"Took you long enough I thought I was going to have to throw all my clothes at you." Bucky laughed as Steve hurried out of his clothes.

Before he could finish, Bucky grabbed his arm pushing him onto the bed and crawling on top of him before leaning down to kiss him.

"Bucky I- clothes- off- finish." He muttered against his lips.

"I'm sure you'll _finish_ just fine with your clothes on." Bucky whispered back lightly biting his bottom lip, pulling at his hair as Steve ran his hands down his back.

They pulled apart as a loud bang came from the other room.

"What the hell was that?" Steve asked as Bucky crawled off the bed looking for the baby monitor.

"Where the hell is the thing?! God I'm just going to check myself." He asked before running out of the room.

"How the hell did this happen?!" He shouted and Steve came running.

"What's wrong?!" He asked looking around the room.

"The- and the- she could've- how did that-" Bucky said confused as he pointed around the room.

"What?" Steve asked confused.

"The shelf fell and knocked the crib over and she is still alive. I am never leaving her alone again." He said as he picked her up.

"How the hell did this happen, Natalia? You throw a ball and knock down the entire ship?" He coo'd.

"We're not having sex are we?" Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head handing him the baby, "I'm getting ready to go meet Sam. Do what you please. Even if what you please is yourself." 

"We're out of soap. I'm going to get some from the front desk." Steve said walking away.

"Finally come back out of your room. What? Broke your husbands dick?" Wanda joked as Steve walked by her.

"Very funny. No a book shelf fell near Natalia and now I'm going to go get some soap." Steve answered walking with her.

"Bucky has a date with Sam."

"I heard. How do you feel about that?"

"Jealous. He's going out with him instead of me. But he's making an effort." He smiled before turning to Natalia.

"Daddy's making an effort with Uncle Sammy. Yes he is yes he is." He said in a baby voice.

"You're weird."

"Aunty Wanda thinks I'm weird and she may be right but how can I not be a little weird when daddy and the Godfather of your future baby sister or baby brother are becoming best fri-" he cut off I with a scream as he fell down the stairs unfortunately letting go of Natalia.

Natalia giggled as a pink bubble surrounded her midair, breaking her fall, before popping into a bunch of tiny bubbles which she started playing with.

Steve hurried up to his feet, looking at Natalia then at Wanda and then back at Natalia.

"Tell me you did that before I turn into my father and leave." Steve whispered closing his eyes.

"Why is your baby on the floor?" Tony asked.

"Because I dropped her! And she has magic! I fucking dropped her and luckily she has magic or I would have also killed her!" Steve explained as he ran down the stairs to pick her up.

"Please don't tell my husband I don't want to die today." He whispered, bouncing around a bit to keep Natalia calm as bubbles still appeared out of no where.

"I don't think I have to tell him." Tony whispered pointing behind Steve.

He turned around confused. As soon as his eyes landed on Bucky he paled.

"Bucky I can explain." He whispered. 

"Get. To. _The fucking room_. Now."

"But-"

"Shut up! You're making this worse! If you were my kid I'd ground you! But I can't ground you because your my husband not my kid no matter how much you act like a fucking teenager! But you know what I can do?" He asked before lowering his voice, "I can spank you. I can tie you up and choke you. I can make you beg for me. That's what I can do. So you're going to give Stark our child and you're going to go to our room and get on the bed naked."

Wanda turned away trying not to laugh and Tony smirked over at Steve who blushed a bright red.

"I don't- he's just- I'm sorry." Steve tried explaining, giving up and handing Tony Natalia before rushing up the stairs sending Bucky a glare.

"Tell Wilson I'll be anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour late." Bucky said running off.

"I can't believe you said that in front of them!"

"Oh you act like I'm kidding, your ass is going to be seven shades of red after what just happened. How do you fucking drop a child?"

"I fell and she is fine. There's no need to worry." Steve promised as Bucky walked over to him placing a hand on his cheek.

"I wanna try something. Think you can handle it." He whispered, his thumb brushing his lip.

Steve scoffed, "It's sex not an Olympic sport. I can handle it." He responded, annoyed at the accusation.

"Good." Bucky smiled before reaching over and gripping at his hair, "I got a hell of a lot planned for you." He added placing a small kiss on Steve's lips before letting go.

He walked over to the bed sitting down on the edge.

"Lay down," He smirked patting his lap, "right here."

His mouth fell open as he looked up at his husbands face with his stupid smirk and then down at his lap before back to his face, "You're serious."

"You can... you know... always _safe word out_." He challenged.

Steve walked over to where Bucky sat, "You want me to undress too?"

"Not yet." Bucky answered as Steve laid down over his lap.

"You can safe word whenever you want. I have a lot planned and I'm going to get you to cum at least three times before the end of the day." He whispered as he helped him adjust.

He was tipped over, hands flat on the floor, all the while his toes barely on the ground.

"Color?" Bucky asked.

"Green. No, yellow."

"Yellow? We can change position. You're usually fine over the table."

"No just... a bit... humiliating?"

"Humiliating stop or humiliating go?"

"Humiliating how hot it is." Steve mumbled finally opening his eyes, "Oh you've got to be kidding me. A mirror?" He asked his eyes landing on the mirror he could see from between his legs.

"It's been there since we got on ship I'm surprised you're only just finding out about it." He smirked, dropping his hand lightly on Steve's ass.

"So soft. Imagine how pretty it'll look with my handprint on it." He added.

"Oh god." Steve groaned. It's the last thing he can say as the rhythmic spanking begins, the sound echoing in the room as Steve wiggled in Bucky's lap.

"Okay pull your pants off, you're not squirming enough as it is."

Steve does as he's told before getting back down on Bucky's lap, "This isn't fair."

"I said you can safe word out. I won't judge."

"I'm not going to safe word out!"

Bucky gave him a second to adjust before moving him a bit more and continuing.

Soon enough, Steve is squirming around not close enough to get any friction off of Bucky.

"You're a fucking sadist." He growled.

"Want something, Stevie?" Bucky teased, not bothering to stop his hand.

"Nngh! Not enough and you know it!" He shouted.

"Oh I know. Boxers down." He said and Steve followed the order.

"You know, you're not getting any pleasure from this either." Steve muttered as Bucky looked him over as if window shopping during the holidays.

"Not completely true. It's fun to watch and later on your ass will be so sore it'll be hilarious to watch you try to seem natural." He whispered leaning down and pressing a kiss to his back, "Your ass is on fire isn't it,love?"

He doesn't get a chance to answer as four more spanks rain down on him.

Steve laid there, panting to himself as Bucky reached around and give him a few soft strokes.

"Fuck me already." He moaned.

"Tryna decide if I want you to blow me or if I want to fuck you."

"Fuck me. Please." He begged as Bucky helped him up and into a kiss.

"On the bed. I'm tying you up." Bucky said and Steve did just as he said getting on the bed and putting his hands above his head already knowing they system.

"You wanted this didn't you?" Bucky asked as he came back with the handcuffs.

"I was planning on embarrassing you in front of the others to get this but this worked so I'm not complaining." Steve answered with a shrug as Bucky attached him to the bed.

Bucky smiled, kissing him as he crawled onto the bed.

"Your mother would be _royally_ disappointed if she saw you right now."

"My mother would be royally disappointed at many things." Steve corrected.

"I've got you completely at my mercy, baby. Could do anything and you'd just take it and beg for more." Bucky whispered kissing him again as he trailed his hands down Steve's chest.

He's so distracted by the kiss he doesn't realize Bucky's pushing a finger in him and he's gasping trying to push down.

"Look at you, so needy." Bucky whispered.

Steve whimpered as Bucky nibbled at his neck, "I'm getting to it but if you don't calm down and wait a bit more I'll pull my finger out." He teased as he pushed another finger in.

"Come on, Bucky, please, I'm ready just get to it." Steve begged, pulling at the cuffs, wanting to entangle his hands in his husbands hair.

"You're going to regret that." Bucky promised as he pulled his fingers out, pouting some more lube in his hand.

He stroked himself, moaning as if in a porno, trying to get Steve all upset.

"Oh fuck you!" Steve shouted, letting out a gasp as Bucky pressed into him.

"You should've been patient and maybe it wouldn't hurt so much." Bucky growled.

He moaned pressing down against him as he slowly pushed in, the bed creaking at how Steve pulled at the cuffs trying to take Bucky fully.

He's slow, teasing him, barely moving. With each thrust he goes deeper before finally hitting his prostate.

Steve moaned out Bucky's name as he sped up, fucking him deep and hard, "You're so tight, Stevie." He grunted.

"Bucky just- fucking hell touch me!"

Bucky rolled his eyes and pulled out, "I'm bored."

"Ouch."

Bucky scoffed grabbing a vibrator and pushing it into Steve before he could complain anymore.

"I have to go. Enjoy yourself." He smirked as he walked over to the mirror, fixing himself.

"If you didn't know, could you tell I have a boner?" He asked.

"I don't give a fuck if you can see it or not this isn't fair!" Steve shouted.

"You can safe word out at any time. Just say "hey Siri text Bucky waffles" and I'll come let you out. Or you could suffer. Let me sit there playing some cards with the thought of you in my head. That'll make the sex hot. Yeah I'm good like this."

"I could get out."

"You could. That's the whole point. If you really don't want it then you can get out. I still get horny. Oh right I almost forgot." He smirked walking over to a bag and pulling out a cock cage.

Steve let out a groan, his eyes going wide at the cage.

"Oh I thought you'd like it. Seriously though, you can easily get out of everything at any moment." Bucky whispered.

"I hate you."

"Oh you love me you kinky little shit." He laughed as he placed the key to the cage on the night stand before giving him a kiss before walking out.

* * *

"Wilson." Bucky greeted as he took a seat.

"He's tied up isn't he?"

"Hand me a drink and I won't go into detail."

Sam laughed handing him a drink, dealing out the cards.

"We're playing Uno. Know how to?" He asked.

"Yes I know how to!" Bucky scoffed as he placed the starting card down.

"Uno!" Sam shouted winning a game after seven rounds.

"No! That's cheating! You can't stack plus fours!" Bucky shouted back.

The two bickered back and forth before Clint finally walked in, breaking them up.

"What the hell is happening?!" He shouted pushing them into their seats.

"HE CHEATED!" Bucky yelled.

"IT WASNT CHEATING!" Sam argued back.

"You're aching like children! Have you even gotten to talking? You're meant to be making an effort to be friends!" Clint shouted, silencing them both.

"We'll have you?! Steve is your friend and he is your husband. Half the time we hate each other the other half we love each other. You two can't stop bickering long enough to realize that you could be great friends. Better friends than either of you are even with Steve."

"I refuse to sleep with him. We can't be better friends then I am with Steve." Bucky muttered crossing his arms.

Clint scoffed, "Go find your husband. I don't give two shits about either of you right now."

Bucky stood up, "You're a cheater. Worse than Steve when we play monopoly." He said before storming away.

* * *

"Hey Tony gave me your kid to watch and I love her obviously, I'm her godmother but anyways I can't find her blanket and it's nap time." Natasha said looking through one of Natalia's bags for the blanket.

Getting no answer she opened the door to another room confused, "Steve? Stark said you'd be here." She called before opening the bedroom door.

"Oh. No wonder you weren't answering." She said, turning around.

"I-I... Bucky... he... fuck." Steve said, breaking off in a moan.

"I can- I'll come back later. You look a bit tied up at the moment." She said with a snort as she ran out.

' _I'm going to kill that son of a bitch._ ' Steve thought you himself.

* * *

Bucky walked back into the room, "Having fun?" He asked raising a teasing eyebrow. 

"Shut up and take your pants off." Steve ordered.

"Excuse me?" Bucky laughed.

"Did I fucking stutter?! Take them off!"

Bucky scoffed, "I like ordering. Not being ordered. I don't think I will."

"Sergeant Barnes are you questioning my authority? Take your pants off. That is an order, soldier." Steve said in his Captain America voice.

"Yes, Captain." Bucky said looking down at the ground, trying not to smile as he undressed walking to the bed to let Steve out of the restraints.

Steve got off the bed with a deep breath as he relaxed enough to no longer feel right on edge.

"On your knees." He whispered.

Bucky gulped as he slid down to his knees.

"Do you really think you deserve it after everything you've put me through today?" He whispered holding his cock out to Bucky's mouth.

He smirked when Bucky went bright red.

"What's the matter, Buck? I thought you liked teasing. Getting a little shy now?" He teased.

"No!"

"Good." He said, still smirking as he stroked himself.

Bucky groaned, his mouth falling open.

"Well if you want it you have to work for it." Steve said taking a small step closer as Bucky wrapped his lips around the head of his dick, his tongue teasing for a moment before taking him deeper.

Steve let out a strangled moan as Bucky swallowed around him, guiding him deeper.

"God, Bucky, that's it." He encouraged as he gripped at his hair.

He held him steady as he started to move his hips, rough and fast before pulling out, "You good?" He asked.

Instead of answering Bucky took him back in his mouth, moaning around him as Steve fucked into his mouth.

"Fucking hell choke on it, baby." He grunted.

Bucky whimpered.

"Honey don't talk with your mouth full. You know that." Steve whispered as Bucky pulled off, licking at the head before taking him back in his mouth.

Steve stopped Bucky where he was, letting out a groan as he came.

Bucky pulled away as he swallowed it down, his tongue shooting out to lick his lips as he spread his knees further apart looking up at Steve like a hurt puppy.

"You wanna cum, Buck?" He teased.

"Please. Please, Steve, you think it's easy leaving knowing that you were here, tied up, with a vibrator up your ass? Waiting for me?” Bucky asked.

"Honey you're not coming until I say you can. I plan on fucking in front of the mirror, on the bed doggy style, and pressed up against that wall. Then I plan on you letting me ride you." Steve growled pulling Bucky up to his feet, "Do you understand?"

"So when can I cum?" Bucky asked.

He didn't answer. He pushed him up against the wall and Bucky wrapped his legs around Steve's waist, "Sure you're hard enough already? I understand if you can't get it back up." He teased.

Steve rolled his eyes pushing into him. He stopped a few inches in, but Bucky tightened his legs around his waist pushing down on him, groaning at the stretch.

"You knew I was going to fuck you." He laughed.

"I'm always ready."

Steve scoffed as he set a hard, fast pace.

"Oh Steve!" Bucky moaned, tightening around him.

Steve smirked, biting into Bucky's shoulder as he angled his hips so every time he dove back in he'd get either a load moan or sharp cry.

Bucky moaned, dropping his head forward with a cry as Steve pounded into him.

"That's it, baby. Bet everyone on ship can hear ya."

"Steve!" He gasped as Steve wrapped a hand around Bucky's cock, tightening his grip.

"Cum and I keep fucking you until you're sobbing." Steve growled.

Bucky gasped, gripping at Steve like his life depended on it letting out a sob as he came.

"I- I'm sorry." He mumbled trying not to laugh.

"I can't top because whatever I do you find funny not hot. If that had been me I would be over your lap already." Steve whined was he let go of Bucky and walked over to the bed pouting.

Bucky sighed heading to the bathroom grabbing a wet towel to clean the mess before going back to Steve, "Steve, I love you but you try to hard sometimes."

"It's the exact same thing you do!"

"How do I say this without making you upset?" Bucky whispered, "I have more experience in the area, Steve."

"Oh fuck you!"

"You could try! I just can't take you seriously! You'd never hurt me! Even if it's for sex. I have hurt you before even if it was the Winter Soldier. And you've seen me hurt the people who've hurt you. I do what I say. You're all talk. You listen when the villains talk! If it was me I'd already be punching them."

"That's not fair!"

"We can do it normal. If you still feel up for something kinky I'll gladly fuck you in front of a mirror." Bucky promised.

"But-" Steve started but Bucky was already moving on to all fours before lowering himself so his ass was in the air.

"You can't do this to me, Buck. How 'm I meant to say no when you look so pretty like that." He breathed as he got up on his knees behind me running his hand over his ass as he kissed his spine.

"Better hurry before I change my mind." Bucky joked, shaking his ass.

"All right, bossy." Steve laughed as he pushed into him.

"Don't ruin the bed. I don't need to explain why we need a new one." Bucky groaned out.

"I'll just cum in you then." Steve smirked as he drew back, snapping his hips forward, earning a grunt from Bucky setting up a rhythm.

He relished in the moans and soft gasps.

He reached over stroking Bucky as he moaned his name.

"Feel so good, Bucky. You feel so good." Steve moaned, gripping his hips as he ground a slow circle.

"Steve!" Bucky moaned as Steve pounded into him again.

"Cum, Bucky, cum for me." Steve whispered.

Bucky let out a silent scream as he came, clenching around Steve.

Steve moaned coming soon after.

He pulled out flopping down next to him.

"Feel like a movie?" He asked and Bucky laughed.

"We just had sex and you're asking about a movie?"

"Yeah Sam texted. And Natalia would like it."

"But kinky sex!" Bucky whined.

"After we watch the movie you can fuck me in front of the mirror." Steve promised kissing his cheek.

"Can I leave my dick in you after?" Bucky asked raising an eyebrow.

Steve looked back over at him confused, "You want what?"

"It's a real thing! I read about it. It's called like cock warming."

"I'm still confused." Steve said trying to understand.

"It's like spooning but my cock is in your ass. Even if it's not hard. Keep me warm." He explained.

Steve nodded before standing up to get dressed.

"I'm still confused but I'm going to say yes." He laughed.

"Let's go. I wanna see Natalia." Bucky said as he got dressed.

Steve nodded grabbing his hand as they walked out.

"Hey you're alive! Thought Barnes cut off your blood circulation." Sam laughed when they walked in.

Steve rolled his eyes as he walked towards the bar to get a glass of water.

"Oh there's my baby girl. How was your day with Uncle Tony? You have fun?" Bucky asked in a baby voice as he picked Natalia up, "Papa and Daddy sure had fun." He whispered as he sat down.

"Bucky! You can't say things like that!" Steve said as he walked back over to sit down next to him as they started the movie.

"She won't remember anything calm down!" Bucky laughed as Steve sat down with a flinch.

"Something wrong, honey?" He whispered, nipping at his ear.

"What are we watching?" Natasha asked taking a seat.

"Some cartoons. We found a disc with like 600 different cartoons." Laura answered.

The movie started out with Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse, and woody woodpecker.

"Wait is there a Popeye disc? That's what we watched when we were kids." Steve asked and the kids went to look through the discs to see.

"Here it is." Peter said as he switched out the discs.

The movie started and everyone turned towards Peter.

"This ain't Popeye kid." Sam said.

"Oh my god." Bucky whispered as Betty Boop came into the screen.

"No." Steve said as Bucky broke into laughter.

"Stop! Bucky! It's not funny! Come on!" He begged looking from the screen back to his husband.

"Turn it off!" He screamed at Tony who finally paused it.

"Can one of you two explain." Clint said confused on the situation.

"Betty Boop is not for children. They can't watch this." Steve said ignoring the reason why Bucky was laughing.

"It's a cartoon, Steve." Wanda said with a scoff.

"What is so funny?!" Sam shouted as Bucky was still laughing.

"Just that-" Bucky started when Steve cut him off.

"Don't you fucking dare! I just have to go." Steve said as he stood up.

"HE HAD A THING FOR BETTY BOOP!" Bucky shouted breaking into laughter yet again.

"Oh my god." Tony whispered.

"It's a cartoon!" Natasha shouted.

"Every guy had a thing for her!" Steve tried to reason.

"I didn't." Bucky corrected.

"You're gay." Sam pointed out.

"True. I never understood her appeal. Although Steve here sure did."

"Bucky!"

"You already admitted it, Stevie." He smirked.

"I was like fifteen! I liked Bucky but I couldn't do anything about it! If I woke up with a boner when he was sleeping over I could blame it on Betty Boop. It wasn't exactly a lie either. She convinced me I was straight for about a year." Steve explained.

"He had me pretend to be her a few months ago." Bucky joked.

"He's joking." Steve assured them as Tony pressed play yet again.

"You guys can watch, I'm leaving." He added.

Bucky grabbed his hand and pulled him back down, "Come on. If you stay I won't only fuck you in front of the mirror but I'll choke you too." He whispered.

They watched some more of the cartoons soon enough everyone moving to do their own thing.

Bucky looked over at Steve's notebook where he was drawing.

"Is that meant to be me?" He asked and Steve shut the notebook.

"Fuck off." He muttered.

Bucky smiled before standing up, "I'll be back in an hour. I feel like getting a bite." He lied. He picked up Natalia and kissed her cheek.

"Daddy will be right back." He promised before placing her back down.

"Does daddy want some company?" Steve asked watching Bucky walk out.

"Quit staring at my ass and you can come with me." Bucky laughed.

Steve grinned getting up and running out after him.

"Can we agree that the moment he starts calling Bucky daddy un-ironically we stage an intervention?" Sam asked.

* * *

Bucky looked in both directions as if making sure no one was following him before unlocking the door.

Steve ran up behind him with a laugh.

"You're acting like a teenager on prom night trying to lose their virginity." Bucky laughed as he opened the door.

"I'm the one acting like a virgin? You ran off leaving our daughter all alone."

Bucky rolled his eyes as he got into the room going to undress when he was pulled into a rough kiss.

Steve pulled away walking over to where the mirror was on the table and leaning over, his forearms against the table and his ass in the air.

Bucky laughed walking up behind him.

He reached around and undid his pants pushing them down to his knees before pushing his legs apart.

"What do you want, Stevie?" He whispered giving his ass a light smack.

"Fuck me. And quit spanking me! I can feel how red my ass is!" Steve shouted annoyed.

Bucky grinned grabbing the lube and quickly spreading some on his fingers as he pushed them in.

"I'm open! Fuck me!" He said pushing back against his fingers.

"Someone's a hungry cock-whore." Bucky whispered as he wrapped his other hand around Steve's neck pulling his head back.

Steve gasped meeting Bucky's eyes through the mirror.

"Watch." He warned tightening his grip.

"Greedy little slut. Begging for anything I'd give." He added, adding another finger.

"More." Steve moaned.

Bucky let go of his neck and pulled out getting himself ready.

He lined up with his hole looking up at the mirror to make sure Steve was watching.

"See how good you look?" He whispered pushing in.

Steve gasped his eyes fluttering shut and Bucky's hand was around his neck again, tightening just enough to get his eyes open.

"I said, watch." He growled as he buried himself in Steve.

"See how good you look, Stevie?" He purred slowly thrusting in and out of him.

"Oh god..." Steve moaned.

"If I could keep you on my cock all day I would. You have no idea how pretty you look all messed up for me." He kept teasing.

"Bucky." He begged, his eyes looking all over the mirror. From the hand around his throat, to his leaking cock, up to his husbands glazed eyes.

"Can't believe people actually get scared of you, baby. Imagine all those people you've beat up watching you now? Mewling like a kitten and begging for more like some slutty one night stand." Bucky chuckled biting Steve's shoulder.

Steve moaned clenching around Bucky.

"Spreading your legs whenever- _where ever_ \- I ask."

"Bucky- fuck- fuck me, baby." Steve begged.

He finally pulled back before surging back in.

"Gonna fuck you so good, baby, if only you could see me going in and out of you." Bucky muttered; slamming forward making the table shake.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut with a pornographic moan and Bucky smacked his ass again.

"I said watch!" He ordered and Steve opened his eyes.

He thrusts into him over and over, listening to his husbands wanton moans.

Steve clenched around him.

Bucky came, moaning Steve's name.

He pulled out panting.

He pulled Steve up to his legs holding him straight as he reached down taking him in his hand.

Steve whimpered as Bucky jerked him off.

It only took a few a strokes before Steve came spilling over Bucky's hand.   
  
  


“Oh god!” Steve sobbed grabbing the table. A crack could be heard and the table collapsed. 

Bucky turned him around kissing him, "I love you." He whispered as Steve slumped down on him.

"Mmm love you too, Bucky." Steve mumbled against his chest.   
  
  


“I ain’t gonna be the one to tell the front desk we need a new table.” Bucky laughed. 

"Wait is this one of those drop things?" He asked as he helped Steve into the bed.

"Drop? What the hell is a drop?"

Bucky smiled leaning down to kiss his head, "I'm going to go get some things to clean us up. I'll pick up Natalia and we can cuddle." He whispered walking to the bathroom.

Grabbing a hand towel he poured some water on it coming back to the bed.

He flipped Steve over to his back wiping down any cum that ended up on his chest.

"There is some chocolate in the drawer of the bedside table. I will get you a bottle of water and a Gatorade from the mini fridge and open it. You can eat some fruit tomorrow to make up for the chocolate." He said doing what he mentioned.

Steve nodded with a him letting him know he understood.

"I'm going to go get Natalia and then I will be right back." Bucky whispered before walking away.

* * *

"Hey where's Steve?" Laura asked.

"Headache. I told him to sleep. Thank you for watching Natalia seeing as the others couldn't care less." He laughed grabbing the baby.

"Of course. Tell Steve I hope he feels better tomorrow. Tony said we get to ride ostriches."

"What the hell is an ostrich?" Bucky scoffed and Natalia opened her mouth.

"No. Your first word is not going to be hell. Do not repeat anything daddy says." He warned the child in his arms.

Laura laughed, "She is definitely your child."

"She will be. Someday soon I hope."

"She already is."

"Except if she gets hurt somehow or needs surgery or something I have no rights. I can't ask the doctors what's happening or if she's okay because they are legally not allowed to tell me. And I am jealous of the fact that Steve won't ever have to worry about it because our doctor says I shouldn't even try to have kids in case hydra fucked me up." Bucky explained.

Natalia dropped her head against the side of Bucky's chest, shaking her head from side to side as if trying to get comfortable.

"I should get her a bottle and put her to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." He added to Laura before walking away.

* * *

Soon after Bucky left, Steve sat up and began eating his chocolate bar.

He hummed, "Treat me like this every time and I'll let you fuck me any day." He sighed as he put the chocolate down grabbing the water.

"I brought a baby for comfort." Bucky joked as he walked into the room.

Steve grinned holding his hands out for the baby.

Bucky laughed handing him the kid as he started on a bottle.

"So are you okay?" He asked.

"Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Steve asked.

"Just making sure."

"I wanna cuddle."

Bucky nodded pouring the water into the bottle and mixing the formula in.

He jumped onto the bed with a laugh.

Steve took the bottle handing it to Natalia who could easily hold the bottle by now as he snuggled closer to Bucky.

He smiled running a hand through Steve's hair, leaning over and grabbing Natalia to bring her closer.

"I love you both." He whispered.

Steve snored in response and Natalia giggled.

"Silly papa." Bucky whispered taking the empty bottle away from Natalia.

"Papa. Can you say papa?" He asked popping his p's picking her up and taking her to her crib.

"Sleep." He whispered before getting back into bed with Steve.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're fucking with me." Bucky said with a scoff, "I've been telling you for months I'm not doing that!" He shouted.

"Would you prefer going back to the freezer?" The man asked.

"If I do what you want me to do, I will bite it off. Is that what you want?"

The man looked over at two others, "Put him in the room." He ordered and the two men grabbed both of Bucky's arms dragging him away.

He was thrown into pitch darkness. The room cold and wet, water dripping from the pipes.

' _It's okay. Steve will be here any day. He'll help you. You just need to hold out a little longer._ ' He promised himself.

Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days and he had no clue how much time had passed.

He passed out soon after, taking the time to get some sleep as he waited to be let out.

No clue how much time had passed he banged on the door.

"Let me out! I'm starving!" He shouted.

The men ignored him as he screamed, banging on the door.

He didn't know how long had passed when the door opened and he got some food.

"What? Trying to poison me now?" He asked with a scoff.

"Trying to keep you alive. Eat."

He rolled his eyes making no move to grab the food.

After a few days he finally gave in and ate the cold stale food.

"I need to use the bathroom! Can I at least go to do that? I have no clue how long I've been in here but I know if you don't let me out I'm going to fucking piss myself." He said, he needed air. Light. Anything but this room.

The sound of the intercom came on and he turned towards it, "The bucket is in the corner."

"Bu- you want me to go in a bucket?!" He shouted, the intercom shutting off.

More time passed and he felt himself slowly going insane.

"It's been months. It has to have been months already. I just need to see some light. I need-" he cut himself off in a hysterical laughter, "I'm in hell. I should've let them burn me at the stake. Pissed my dad off bad enough he'd turn me in. It'd be better than this. Or maybe I died and this is my hell for it."

"Are we sure he's the guy Captain America rescued the first time we got him?" One of the men asked watching the footage.

"He's been locked in for two weeks. What did you think was going to happen?" One of the other men laughed.

A week later they finally opened the door.

"Ready to comply, soldier?" The man asked.

"How long?" Bucky whispered, voice hoarse from a lack of water.

"Excuse me?"

"How long was I in there because it feels like three months have passed." He shouted.

"Three weeks. In total including the time you've been under you've been here eighteen months so whatever hope you're holding out I'd let go and I'd follow your orders before you get thrown back in or worse."

"Worse?" Bucky asked.

Suddenly two soldiers were grabbing him by the arms and pulling him away.

He screamed and kicked trying to get away as he was thrown into a chair hands strapped down.

"What the hell is this?!" He shouted trying to pull away.

A mouth guard was shoved into his mouth as the head part of the machine was lowered and they pressed the button.

He screamed, biting into the mouth guard as electricity was shocked all throughout his body, over and over until tears ran down his face.

They unhooked him from the machine and the mouth guard fell from his mouth.

Eyes glazed over, his head fell slightly to the side, brain fuzzy.

The man walked over, gripping Bucky's chin and lifting his head up, "I'll repeat myself. Are you ready to comply soldier?"

He wanted to cry, to scream no. Instead, he blinked as tears filled his eyes, "Yes." He whispered.

"Good. Grab him." He ordered the other men as he walked away.

Arriving at the room he turned to the men holding Bucky.

"On his knees." He ordered the agents.

They tossed him to the ground and he slid to his knees not wanting to go back to the chair.

Shooting the agents a glare they ran out.

"A disgusting bitch is what you are." He spat in his face grasping his hair to have him look up at him.

"Please. I'll beg. Please." Bucky whispered, giving it one last try. He didn't have anymore fight in him.

The man chuckled as he grabbed a gun wedging it between Bucky's lips.

He gagged as the gun was shoved down his throat, throwing up in his mouth as the gun was pulled out.

"Bite down and you go back in the chair. Not only that, I will line up every agent here and have them fuck you until you can't feel anymore." He promised.

And suddenly his mouth was being stretched open. The man fucked into his mouth and he gagged around him, tears streaming down his face.

One thought and one thought alone ran through his head through the moment, ' _What would Steve think?_ '

He could have laughed at the implication that he would have been anything but disgusted.

The man came in his mouth and he wanted to spit it all out, to throw up and wash his mouth. He looked up, his eyes pleading. Understanding the other mans look, he sucked it up and swallowed the vile down.

He wished he could say it was the last time. It happened over and over again, sometimes they'd have a line and he'd have to suck them all off and other times it was just one or two agents who needed some relief after a mission. He fought them of course. In the beginning he'd beg and plead for some mercy or fight them about it but after months of being fried from the outside in and left in a dark room with nothing but a bucket he had given up.

A few months passed and he woke up, his body against a freezing table. He let out a groan as he went to stretch out, realizing his legs were spread and held in place by some chains and his upper body was unable to move.

"What is this?" He whispered as he saw a light turn on.

"Your mouth started getting boring. I recommended to your handler we do something about that."

"No! Fuck no! I- n-" was all he managed to get out before he clenched his jaw down to muffle his scream as the man pushed into him.

"Oh fuck that _is_ better then your mouth." He whispered and Bucky finally started to look around realizing he was on full view for everyone in the room.

"Get out. Get the hell out of me!" He screamed shaking his head trying to pull away.

' _This isn't how I wanted it. I had sex with Howard! So what?! This wasn't what I wanted! I wanted Steve to want me this way not some men who use me like a fuck doll!_ ' He thought to himself although a voice in the back of his head wondered who Howard and Steve were. The names sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place them.

He grit his teeth shutting his eyes as the man leaning over him as he fucked into him, "You like that, soldier? Does that feel good?" The man panted his taunt, he ground in hard and sank lower to growl into the supersoldier's ear. "You take it so easy; makes me think you're a regular little cockslut at home."

He turned his head away trying to hold in a sob.

"You come up with that on your own, tough guy, or does someone coach you all on how to sound like stupid assholes?"

"Better a stupid asshole than a wrecked asshole, Barnes." he hissed,

Bucky let out a sob. There was a sound of straining metal rapidly followed by a harsh clang - maybe one of the cuffs pulling momentarily away from the table - and he was trying to knee the guy to get him off him.

Three agents activated their stun batons and the man pulled away as they stunned Bucky.

The man grabbed a sort of gag shoving it in the soldiers mouth. He rammed his knee into his balls, taking advantage of his cry of pain to cram the gag in further before tightening his restraints.

He straddled the soldiers chest, feeding his cock through the gag, riding through every gag Bucky made as he choked around him, "What? My cock going to be what kills you?"

He bucked in harder shoving as far as he could. He moaned as he came fucking shallowly into his throat. He managed to pull out before he came, he came over his face managing to land some on his tongue.

Bucky wanted to cry to fight some more but how could he when he was strapped down to a table, being shocked when he fought.

"Who's next?" The man asked with a smirk as Bucky let out a sob.

Another man walked over taking over. 

He grabbed Bucky's ass in one hand, digging his thumb deep into his cheek to pull it wide open and expose his hole while the other hand guided his dick to rest against the twitching ring of muscle. He thrust in and it punched a shout out of Bucky, who was with it enough to start struggling again.

He humped into him and leaned forward to put some pressure on his throat with one hand while he viciously grabbed his balls with the other, tearing a sob out of the super soldier.

"Think I could choke you until you didn't have enough brain cells left to care when we use you like a whore," he loosened the hand on his throat but clamped down harder on his balls.

"I bet the serum would keep you pretty even if you were too fucked up even use the bucket. Just a drooling set of holes to use," He taunted as he sped up his thrusts.

He let go of his balls so he could put both hands around his neck, his hips moving at a frantic pace as Bucky unconsciously bucked underneath him.

"You wanna be my stupid fucktoy, Soldier? You gonna let me choke the brains out of you and make you a wet hole for us? Bet you had someone at home who did this to you. Or did you just want them to?" He growled.

His eyes were distant and spacey and wouldn't focus as the fingers sank deeper into his throat as he let out a broken sob of Steve's name.

"Holy shit..." one of the soldiers whispered as the man pulled out, cum and blood dripping out of Bucky's fucked up hole.

"I think he's gone enough. One of you can take his ass the other his mouth if you feel like it." The man said as he stood up pulling his pants back.

Bucky went slack soon after the next man started his round. He couldn't focus. Had no idea how long he had been there. All he could feel was the blood and cum dripping out of him.

His eyes were glazed over, the light glaring against the sweat and drool on his face.

Someone was turning him over on his knees before starting to fuck him from behind while another man filled him from the front. 

' _Come on you're not useless. Do something. Fight_!' His mind screamed. He bit down and the man pulled away with a scream as he smacked his face.

"Put him in the damn chair!" He shouted and he was being dragged off yet again.

**Two months later**

Bucky was dragged into what he could only assume to be a hospital room.

"What is it now?" He asked. Two months of the chair. Half the time he didn't know what was real and what wasn't.

He got no answer and instead looked up to find one of the handlers, the man who's dick he had bitten on the bed, hand on his dick stroking himself.

"Hell no." He said turning to the door to find two other men blocking the exit.

"Fuck yourself on it." The man on the bed said.

He didn't make a move to do anything before getting shocked by the paddles. Stumbling forward he undressed knowing he had no other choice.

He slowly crawled onto the mans lap lowering himself onto him, pushing through the pain.

He slowly started moving, tears streaming down his face.

"Enjoying that?" The man asked, "Just a fuck toy for us to use."

He sobbed to himself.

"Touch yourself." He said and Bucky did as he was told when he saw the other men get the shock paddles ready.

He stroked himself to his avail.

"Oh don't be like that. I'm sure you had a pretty dame back home. Or at least someone you could think of." The man taunted, "Beg for it. Show everyone how much you want it; what a slutty whore you are needing your holes to be filled however we deem necessary."

Bucky sobbed shaking his head, "Please. Fuck me. I need it. Need to be filled up like a dirty whore." He said and the paddles the other men we're holding went down.

"Exactly. However we please. Who are you thinking of soldier?" He asked knowing they could probably use it to their advantage.

"Don't matter. Maybe married now." Bucky said knowing he wasn't using proper grammar. He just wanted to finish so he could go back to being frozen without anymore consequences.

"Cock hungry slut." The man spat.

Bucky let out a scream as the man grabbed his dick giving it a terribly hard squeeze as he came, filling Bucky up.

He shook his hand letting the other men know they could take Bucky away.

The door shut leaving him all alone in the room yet again and he broke into sobs.

He was left in the room for a month, being taken out every so often to be put in the chair as they fried his brain.

"Dinner." A man said opening the door.

Bucky looked up confused, "Excuse me?"

"Dinner. Are you going to come eat at the table or do you want to stay here and eat like a fucking dog?" He snapped.

Bucky shot up to his feet following the man out.

He sat down at the table and someone brought out his food.

He gladly ate the food.

"No one is going to take it from you. Don't kill yourself."

"What the hell is your name? I keep calling you all "the man" in my head because I have no clue what else to call you except a bunch of fucking-" he stopped talking looking down at his food not wanting to be thrown back in the room.

"Jax. And the man you bit? Arthur." The man answered when Bucky finished eating his food.

"Can I go back to the room or something? I feel like shit though I doubt you give a fuck."

"Let's go." The man- Jax- said standing up.

Bucky gasped when he felt a sting. Looking at his shoulder he saw a shot had been pressed into him.

"What the hell is tha-" he started and suddenly the words were lost on him.

He was being led to another room and his clothes were being tugged off.

"Well the food you just ate had about 80 milligrams of a drug; I can't remember the name; and the shot we just put in you had about 250. You can't fight." Arthur answered pushing a finger into Bucky's hole.

"Please..." Bucky whispered and it was true, he couldn't fight, he could barely think.

Three fingers were in him scissoring him open, "Gonna be so tight. We'll have you sobbing."

He felt like his ass was on fire as another finger pushed into him and they pushed him at he was bent over a couch on full view for anyone who decided to come in.

"Don't. Please. I'm a person not a toy." He mumbled, his body completely useless. His skin was red and sore as the fingers fucked him.

"Gonna make him nice and loose. Dripping by the time we're done with him." Arthur growled.

Bucky sobbed trying and failing miserably to pull away.

He let out a squeak as the fingers were pulled out of him.

Jax moved up behind Bucky taking the other mans place. He pulled his cock out of his jeans covering himself in enough lube to make sure he wouldn't actually kill him.

He gave an experimental thrust of his hips, "Ain't even fighting back anymore."

He pulled out turning Bucky around so they could see his face as he pushed back in him holding his legs open.

Bucky started up at the roof, painfully aware at what was being done to him. He let out a silent scream, sobbing to himself as he felt another cock push into him, stretching him beyond what should be possible.

"Shut up you've had worse." Both men scoffed.

Jax bucked his hips, holding Bucky's legs open; grounding into his body.

~~~~~~~~~

Bucky woke up, his mind and body feeling as if in two very different places.

He let go of Steve and stood up.

Wandering into the bathroom he turned on the faucet of the bathtub.

Not bothering to take his clothes he stepped into the bathtub.

Steve woke to Natalia crying.

"Bucky can you take care of her?" He mumbled.

He sat up turning on the lamp confused on why Bucky didn't make any move to get out of bed.

"What the hell?" He asked confused before the sound of water rang.

"Are you showering?" He asked earning no response.

Natalia kept crying.

"Right sorry, honey." Steve whispered getting out and picking her up.

"You just ate and you don't have a dirty diaper. What's wrong?" He wondered.

"Did you just want attention?" He coo'd grabbing a pacifier for her to chew on in case it was her teeth.

She stopped crying almost immediately.

"Really are my kid." He joked as he placed her back in the crib.

"Buck It's four in the morning why are you showering?" He asked knocking on the bathroom door.

He didn't hear anything Steve said, instead he slid under the water closing his eyes.

Worried about his husband Steve walked in.

"Bucky?" He asked.

He stayed under the water, Steve's voice no louder than a distant memory.

Once he was sure an odd amount of time had passed Steve ran to the tub reaching in and pulling Bucky out by his shoulders.

Bucky gasped, his eyes snapping open as he took in a deep breath.

"Bucky!" Steve shouted finally getting his attention. 

He scoffed before pulling him completely out of the bath and grabbing a towel.

"What the hell, Barnes?" He scowled were he got down in front of him.

"I- I couldn't sleep I was just taking a bath." Bucky said confused only just coming back to himself.

"Taking a ba- fully dressed?!" Steve shouted.

"I-" he cut off just as confused, "I'm tired I just forgot. I just needed a warm bath. Calm down, Steve."

"A warm bath?" Steve asked before dipping his hand in the water and grabbing Bucky's to do the same, "The water is freezing! Bucky you were under the damn water for at least a minute and a half assuming you went under when I walked in..." he whispered.

"What are you implying Stevie?" Bucky asked still dazed.

"I'll stop implying and just ask then. What the hell happened that made you try and drown yourself?"

"I wasn't trying to drown myself!" Bucky said as Steve pulled the soaked clothes off of him covering him in the towel.

He looked up at Steve who was connecting a hairdryer.

"Did you take your pills?" Steve asked.

"What pills?"

"The anti-depressants, Bucky! I saw the prescription months ago so don't bother saying you don't have them."

"I never picked them up. I told her I was okay. I wasn't going to take them if I was okay." Bucky whispered.

"Bucky if she gave you the prescription it's because you need them. I'll call later and see if you can pick some up at our stop." Steve said as he finished drying Bucky's hair for him. 

"I tried to drown myself?" Bucky whispered still confused.

"Did you?"

"I think so." Bucky said with a broken sob.

"Hey hey hey." Steve shushed hugging him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Bucky whispered leaning against him, closing his eyes.

"Bucky you woke up and tried to drown yourself. We have to talk. Or hell I'll figure out how to get your therapist here."

"Steve we can talk when the sun comes up." Bucky promised.

Steve sighed picking him up bridal style and carrying him back to bed.

"Would your daughter using her magic powers make you feel better?" He joked.

Bucky laughed, "Thank you."

* * *

Steve woke up to an empty bed yet again.

"Bucky?!" He shouted hurrying out.

"I was just setting the table for breakfast. I'm okay." Bucky said walking back into the room.

"Steve you can't freak out if I'm not right at your side. I already gave Natalia a bath and put her in a pretty royal blue dress with a very pretty little bow for her head. We need to eat so we can meet the others before ten." He added grabbing Steve's hand and leading him to the table.

"You said-"

"I have to go change Natalia's diaper." Bucky cut him off walking away.

Steve sighed as he ate his breakfast.

' _You guys can talk later. You will talk later_.' He said to himself.

"Natalia quit it with the bubbles!" Bucky said popping the pink bubbles.

Natalia cried and all the bubbles popped.

The lights flickered on and off, the lightbulb of the lamp shattering.

"Holy hell okay okay bubbles! Bubbles are good! You can do bubbles!" Bucky said hoping it would stop.

Steve ran back into the room, "What the hell did you do to our daughter so she attacked us?!" He whispered as Natalia stopped crying and the lights stopped flickering.

"I popped a fucking bubble and she cried! It's not my fault!"

Steve went to argue when he shut up.

"No. Don't do that. Scream at me! Argue! Tell me it is my fault." Bucky shouted.

"What?"

"I'm not fragile! You can scream!"

"Why would I scream over the fact that when our child laughs there's bubbles and when she cries the lights break? It's not like you're doing it. You're not the magic one are you?" Steve smiled.

Bucky laughed, "No. No I'm not."

"In that case I finished eating. If you're done and have fed Natalia could we talk? About last night."

"Not now. I uh- we still have to get ready. We're meant to see butterflies and ostriches and um there's a volcano." Bucky said packing a bag, ignoring his husband.

"Bucky-"

"I said no! I said... I-I said no."

"O-okay, Bucky. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"I know. And we _will_ talk. Just not now."

"That's what you've been saying since you started trusting me again like two and a half years ago. And we started dating almost a year and a half ago. Still nothing."

"Like you tell me everything." Bucky scoffed.

"I do!"

"The nightmares I've waked you up from? Or those times you're staring off into space? Why you have to wake up at four in the morning to beat the crap out of a punching bag? You tell me about those things?"

"It's not the same."

"Right. The great Captain America can't have ptsd too. The great Captain America expects his husband to talk to him when he won't even talk to him about his issues! You knew I was messed up when you married me. If you can't deal with it then... fuck then give me the damn papers and I'll sign them. I'll catch a flight back to New York and be out before you guys get back."

"Bucky that's not-"

"I'm going to kiss you."

"What?" Steve said confused.

"I'm going to kiss you because I'm so fucking pissed at you!" Bucky yelled with a laugh.

Steve laughed as Bucky walked over kissing him.

"I love you. And I'm going to tell you. When the time is right." Bucky said when he pulled away.

"The time will never be right."

Natalia babbled from over on the table.

"Oh baby girl okay we're here." Steve laughed grabbing Natalia.

Tony knocked on the door before walking in, "You guys ready?" He asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." Bucky said picking up the bag and walking away before Steve could speak.

"Everything okay?" Tony asked Steve.

"We'll be okay. It's just Natalia and the bubbles and lights and whatever else might happen." Steve whispered following him out.

They met the others down by the door of the ship.

"Finally! Let's go!" Natasha said hurrying towards the car.

Soon enough they arrive at the butterfly and ostrich farm.

They walked through the forest looking at all the butterflies.

"Look at how pretty the little bug is, Natalia." Steve whispered pointing at a blue and black butterfly.

Natalia grinned reaching out for the butterfly.

The butterfly flew away.

She turned towards Steve looking as if she was about to cry.

"There are more butterflies honey don't cry."

Clint laughed turning towards Bucky, "Your daughter is adorable."

"You have kids of your own, Barton." Bucky laughed.

"Yeah but with your kid I never have to change diapers or discipline them. I just get to play with the baby."

"Oh my god don't move." Wanda whispered and everyone stopped walking.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"Steve has a butterfly on his head. I need a picture." She said getting the picture.

She laughed walking over to them.

"See, Natalia? The butterfly is still there." She smiled.

Natalia giggled reaching over for the phone.

"Okay how about I send your daddy the picture and he can print it out for you to play with later? I don't need a broken phone." She joked tickling the baby.

"Thank you." Steve whispered as they started walking again.

"Mr. Stark!" A man said as they walked up to a pen.

"Jack hi!" Tony greeted the man, "Guys this is Jack. We talked on the phone."

"Follow me. I'll show you to the ostriches." Jack said leading them into the pen.

"This is Olly. Ostriches are the world's largest bird. They actually have three stomaches. Do not under any circumstances threaten him. He has enough force in his legs to kill a human. That goes for the teenagers and the parents of the baby." He explained pointing an accusing finger at the kids.

"Contrary to popular beliefs these birds do not bury their heads in sand. Now that we have the facts down and no one will die; who wants to go first?"

"First?" Peter asked.

"To ride Olly! Oh you can't be over 163 pounds. They can carry up to 198 but to be safe we only go up to 163."

"I'll go!" Lila said with a grin.

"No you won't." Clint scoffed, "Did you hear him? It could kill you."

"Barnes? I'd be glad if you died." Sam joked.

"I'm 260 I have no clue how you think I could ride it without breaking it's back." Bucky scoffed.

They all started talking trying to figure out who would ride the bird when they heard it caw.

Looking over they found Peter on the bird.

"Kid! Get off the damn bird!" Tony shouted.

"But Mr. Stark-"

"Off the bird!"

Natasha laughed leaning over to Pepper, "Definitely his kid." 

"Just wait until he has a kid that's actually his." Pepper whispered.

"It won't matter. He'll act the same." Bucky smiled.

"Parker get off the damn bird! I don't want to explain to your aunt that you died not fighting someone but riding a bird!" Tony shouted.

The bird turned towards him before throwing up all over him.

"Oh my god can we keep it as a pet? Maybe it'll throw up on Sam next!" Bucky laughed.

"No."

"Why?!" Bucky whined.

"It's already a farm with Stark, Widow, Natalia and our future son!"

"We have a son?"

"And I'm seven years we will adopt another daughter who will be best friends with Tony's second child. Oh and Natalia and Natasha's kid are also best friends." Steve explained.

"I have a kid in this fantasy?" Natasha asked.

"I have two?" Tony added.

"Yeah. You have your first kid about two years after our son is born. Natasha runs an orphanage and ends up adopting the ten year old girl."

"Ah so he's writing FanFiction." Clint laughed.

"I have every right. You two wrote a FanFiction about me and Bucky." Steve laughed.

Ignoring the others Tony walked into a barn to go clean himself off.

"I'm starving. This idiot thinks it's a good idea to drag us around." Natasha complained.

"I have mashed carrots. Steve likes it. Worse comes to worse formula isn't that bad." Bucky said with a shrug.

"For the last time! I don't like it!" Steve shouted.

"You drank formula?" Wanda asked.

"It was late at night I grabbed a glass which happened to be pre-made formula. I wouldn't drink it again unless I was dying but..."

"Give me the damn carrots!" Natasha snapped holding her hand out for the jar.

Bucky laughed going to get the mashed carrots.

"Don't resort to eating baby food. Come on, we have one last stop before we get something to eat." Tony said as he walked out of the barn.

"Where?" Clint asked.

"A volcano."

* * *

"What do you think about this one?" Natasha asked walking out of the dressing room with a blue bikini.

"Natasha it looks just as good as the red and just as good as the white." Steve said.

She huffed closing the curtain.

Bucky walked over to Steve, "Okay what do you want these swim trunks," he asked holding out a pair of swim trunks, "or this speedo." he smirked.

"For me or for you?" Steve asked.

"You."

"Surprise me."

Bucky nodded turning towards Natalia and holding both swimsuits out.

"Pick which one papa should wear." He whispered.

Natalia giggled reaching over and grabbing the speedo.

Bucky grinned turning to Steve and handing it to him, "Looks like we agree. Go change."

"I'm about 70% sure these will be too small and that you did it on purpose." Steve scoffed walking towards another dressing room.

He laughed as he picked Natalia up, "You want a swimsuit too, baby girl?"

Natalia giggled which he took for a yes.

"Okay blue or pink honey? You having a baby brother or a baby sister next year?" He asked walking over to the baby swimsuits.

She reached over and grabbed a purple one instead.

"I was really hoping for blue. What does purple even mean?"

"I think it means you can't listen to a six month old when it comes to your child's gender before there's even a fetus." Sam laughed.

"Fuck off, Wilson."

"Fine then I won't watch her so you can go scuba diving with the others."

"I convinced Steve to wear a speedo. I refuse to care about anything else." Bucky smirked.

"STOP TELLING PEOPLE!" Steve shouted from the dressing room.

He laughed placing Natalia on the ground with the swimsuit on her back, "Come on. Go over to papa. He can put you in it."

Sam rolled his eyes, "You're treating her like a dog."

"I need her to crawl."

"She did!"

"I want to see it!"

Natalia ignored them sitting down and playing with the swimsuit.

Steve walked out of the dressing room in his wet suit.

"Aw you didn't put it on!" Bucky whined.

"It's under the wet suit. I'm not walking around in a pair of-"

"Say it. I fucking dare you to call it what you were about to. It'll just make it a hundred times better." He basically growled.

"I'm going to go help our daughter before she starts barking seeing as Sam is right about you treating her like a dog." Steve said picking Natalia up and walking away as Bucky chuckled.

Sam rolled his eyes grabbing Bucky's arm to drag him to the table before he would run off to jump on Steve.

"Ooh that looks good." He said sitting down at the table.

Steve walked over taking a seat next to him with a smile.

"She looks adorable." Wanda laughed.

Bucky leaned over taking some fish off of Natasha's plate.

"Hey!"

"What? It's just a piece. Here, have some shrimp." He scoffed handing her a shrimp.

"Try it." He said holding the fork out to Natalia.

She stared at the piece of fish.

"Natalia, baby, I promise it's delicious. I'd give you shrimp but you don't have any teeth yet." He said as he grabbed a smaller piece.

He ate it letting out a soft exaggerated moan, "Delicious."

She opened her mouth to eat the fish.

Her eyes lit up when she swallowed the fish and they all laughed.

"Okay. That was worth it." Natasha sighed.

"Maw!" The baby said reaching her hands out.

"I'm hoping she's asking for more and not trying to call me mama." He laughed standing up, "Especially seeing as you’re the one with the chest for it." He whispered in Steve's ear.

"Quit it." Steve scoffed as Bucky ordered another fish.

' _Speedo_.' He mouthed, grabbing the fish and walking back to the table.

They went back to eating; Bucky cutting up the fish into tiny pieces before pouring it into a plastic bowl and handing it to Natalia.

"So let's talk about how you tried to kill yourself last night." Steve said picking at his food. 

"You did what?!" Natasha yelled.

"Okay..." Bucky whispered, "Kids; go play or make a Tik Tok or something."

They nodded and hurried off.

"That was completely inappropriate!" He shouted.

"You are not going to talk to me; we both know it. At least if they know you can talk to one of them and I don't have to worry about you killing yourself if I leave the room for two minutes." Steve explained.

"You want them in our personal business? Fine. They can be in our personal business." Bucky whispered turning to the others.

"Steve goes to therapy. He doesn't want you guys to know because it's embarrassing."

"And I also cut. I'm at _least_ seven months clean. I haven't cut since a little before Natalia was born so yeah, about seven or eight months." Steve added, "I was ashamed of it but it's helping and I'm meant to start telling you guys anyways."

"Well you refuse to admit you have depression!"

"It's ptsd."

"It's depression but you blame your cutting on it feeling good which I don't doubt seeing as you have a pain kink."

"Do you want us to go?" Clint asked.

"No!" They both shouted.

"I just want you to be okay. I need to tell them so you can feel comfortable enough to talk to them if you can't talk to me." Steve whispered.

"I want you to be okay too! I want myself to be okay."

"And you will be but you have to take the pills."

"The problem isn't me. I am not the one who tried to kill myself. Why would I kill myself? I have a husband. A daughter. I have a family."

He whispered, tearing up.

Natalia leaned over grabbing Bucky's knee before falling over laying on the both of them.

He laughed picking her up, "Daddy's okay, honey." He whispered kissing her head.

"I don't understand." Steve said confused.

"It's like my mind was still asleep. My body was moving but I didn't realize it. As far as I knew I was still in bed, Steve."

"So it's sleep walking?"

"No because I'm awake I'm just not there." He tried to explain.

"I don't-"

"Neither do I. But I know it wasn't because I'm unhappy because I'm not I'm really not, Stevie."

"Will you take the pills?"

Bucky sighed with a nod, "If it means it stops me from not seeing our daughter grow up then yeah. I'll take the damn pills." 

Steve grinned leaning over and kissing him alternating between saying "thank you" and "i love you".

"Hey your kid can see. Keep it pg." Tony laughed.

"Sorry." They whispered as they pulled away.

They all finished eating.

"Oh honey." Bucky laughed looking down at Natalia.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, hands and face dirty.

"Okay I'll meet you in the car. Let's get you cleaned up, Natalia." He said picking her up and walking away.

He wiped her hands and mouth clean leaving her on the sink counter as he threw the wipes away.

"I probably shouldn't have given you so much fish. If it hurts you your papa will kill me." He laughed.

"Buh buh!" Natalia giggled.

Bucky turned towards her, "What did you say?" He asked, sure he had made it up.

"Buh." She repeated.

Bucky laughed picking her up, "You're trying to say Papa, aren't you? You're trying to say Papa!" He screamed startling the baby.

"No don't cry I'm sorry I'm just so happy. Papa is going to be so hap- seriously? Papa first? Really?"

Natalia babbled to herself as Bucky took her out to the car.

"Stevie you'll never believe what just happened!" He said with a grin.

"What happened?" Steve asked sure Natalia had just rolled over or something.

"Come on baby do it again." He whispered.

They all waited patiently.

"I swear she said it." Bucky promised, "Come on, honey. You're making me look bad here."

She looked around confused on why everyone was staring.

"He's officially lost his mind." Sam whispered.

"She said papa. I swear she said papa." Bucky explained, getting in the car.

"And I'm sure she did but she's not going to do it if you parade her around like a show horse." Steve smiled hoping to get the man to shut up.

Bucky scoffed.

Steve frowned grabbing him by his hips and pulling him onto his lap. He placed his chin on his shoulder kissing his neck, "We all believe you." He lied.

"I know you're just lying to make me feel better." Bucky muttered crossing his arms.

"I am but that's what love is. A bunch of lies. Ask anyone's parents." Steve joked.

They got to the volcano, "Okay you all go I'll stay with Natalia and when one of the kids gets bored I'll go on in." Bucky said, laying on a chair.

"No that's not fair to you. I'll watch her. You go." Steve said pushing Bucky out of the chair.

Bucky flopped onto the floor.

Natasha laughed attaching her oxygen tank, "Maybe you both stay until the kids come back up. You'll both spend time with your daughter and can even talk about how you both want to die."

"Go. We'll join in an hour when the kids get bored and want to go on that Tok Tik- tic tac app." Steve said as his husband crawled back into the chair.

The others jumped into the lake.

Steve shook his head, pulling his wet suit off and sitting down on the ground with Natalia.

"Peekaboo!" He laughed playing with her.

Bucky smiled, ' _God. I will never tire of watching this man.'_ He thought to himself.

It takes about half an hour before Natalia is falling asleep and Steve is placing her in a stroller and heading towards his husband.

He plots down on his lap snuggling into him.

"Hi sweetie." Bucky laughed wrapping his arms around him.

"Hey, Buck." Steve murmured into his neck.

He grabbed his thighs pulling him closer hoping to get him into a more comfortable position.

"You having fun with Natalia?" He asked. He doesn't give him a chance to respond as he pulls him into a kiss.

Steve groaned draping his arms over Bucky's shoulders.

Bucky bit his bottom lip earning a whimper from the other man as he gave his ass a squeeze causing him to squirm in his lap.

"Can't believe you actually wore the damn speedo." He growled when he pulled away.

"Bucky..." he whispered rolling slightly against Bucky.

"How're you feeling, Stevie?" Bucky asked and he knew he'd ask again throughout the day.

"Green." Steve answered. It wasn't what Bucky was asking but it let him know what he wanted.

"What do you want, Steve? Want me to fuck you right here? Anyone could walk around the rocks and see." He teased and Steve squirmed, hiding his face in his neck.

"Wanna ride your thigh." He whimpered.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh, "Poor little puppy wasn't trained properly."

Steve's tongue darted out licking up his neck to his ear, "Ruff." He whispered as a joke as he bit on the lobe.

He dips his hand into Steve's speedo giving his ass a squeeze.

"You sure it's my thigh? I have a calf. I'm sure we could find you a table or something if that's really what you want." He teased.

"This isn't a kink."

"Of course not, Stevie! I wouldn't dream of it!" He patronized, bringing his hand to the front of Steve's swim trunks and giving his cock a teasing squeeze.

"Oh honey you're going to get these all messy. We don't want that now do we?" He whispered running a thumb over his head.

Steve moaned biting his husbands shoulder as he lifted him up pulling the swim wear over his ass and down his legs.

He flings them off behind him.

"Now that's better." He smirked reaching down to where Steve's cock hung giving it a few long strokes.

"Fuck Bucky did you have to throw them so far?" Steve muttered with a soft moan glancing up to see where the swimsuit had landed.

Bucky let go turning his head around, "Don't act like you don't love the idea of having to sneak over to grab them after coming just to have someone catch you."

"No because I'm not the one the humiliation kink!"

"You act like that kink _isn't_ hydras fault." Bucky scoffed.

"Wha-" Steve went to ask as Bucky kissed him to avoid the questions.

"Bucky..." he moaned into his mouth pressing up against him.

"Shh shh shh. Wouldn't want someone walking 'round the rocks to find us would we?" Bucky whispered pulling away from Steve's mouth.

Steve dropped his head with a moan, "Oh god..."

He chuckled kissing his shoulder; "Knew you loved others watchin' you squirm, baby." Sliding his hand down his back and he gave his ass a squeeze making him whine.

"Bucky, baby, honey, love, please." Steve whimpered rolling his hips forwards.

"Mmm, yeah Stevie? Want something?" Bucky asked pushing his finger up against his hole.

"Wanna cum, Buck." He whispers, a shudder going up his spine at having said it in such a public space and ' _god the damn bikini bottoms! I'm going to have to go get them my ass dripping with cum aren't I? The idiots going to make me get chased by a security guard_.'

He's on Bucky's thigh, one of his husbands hands on his ass the other barely stroking him, thriving on the humiliation that could easily happen have someone walk around the rocks or pop out of the water.

"Already, baby? I've barely touched you and you're already all ready?" Steve's exhale is shaky as he throws caution to the wind. ' _Fuck it if someone watches.'_

"Uh-huh so hard, Buck. Wanna cum. Need to cum."He grunted.

Bucky's fingers pressed in tight to his hole, and Steve's hips move, not realizing they were humping Bucky's thigh again.

"Only way you're gettin' off is on my thigh, baby. You want it so bad you take it," he whispers into Steve's ear before kissing his shoulder. Steve is a little stunned, a lot turned on, and refuses to take his face out of the crook of Bucky's neck. ' _He can't expect me to just hump him here on this chair, can he? Without any help?'_ A soft smack on his already sore ass confirms it.

He takes a few seconds to try and collect his thoughts but it isn't successful whatsoever, not when the things he tries to think through are the same things that are making his cock rock hard.

He rolls his hips a little harder than he has been, trying to be discreet knowing no matter what happens anyone could see.

He whimpered grabbing the back of Bucky's neck.

Bucky shushed him, moving his leg to help him out.

It should help Steve be more quiet but the fact that Bucky has his attention elsewhere and is telling him to be quiet as he gets himself off using his thigh is...it's something that really shouldn't help him get off.

It's enough to push him to speed up the roll of his hips— to continue to chase his orgasm.

Steve finds a good rhythm, finding an angle that gives him what he craves. It feels good and it's just enough to find himself getting caught up in the feeling, forgetting where he is at the moment.

He's so keyed up from the build, that he doesn't completely notice Bucky pushing a finger into him.

He kisses at his jaw, reaches up to suck on his earlobe a little, makes a godawful pitiful noise, but Bucky pays him no mind.

It makes it all even hotter.

His movements become a little more frantic, fuck he can't help it, finds himself grinding down a little harder, hand gripping at Bucky like his life depended on it. He can't begin to believe he's humping at Bucky's thigh- again!-doesn't even want to think about it, is mortified, but why is it so hot? Why is it going to make him cum embarrassingly fast?

"Bucky..." he whines, gasps getting caught in his throat a little.

Bucky hums, stroking his back, "Cum, Stevie. Cum for me."

Steve lets a deep moan slip, squeezes his legs tight against Bucky's thigh, wishes he could be biting into a pillow to keep quiet, wishes Bucky were fucking him. Heat seeps onto Bucky's trunks, pulse after pulse of humiliating pleasure.

Almost immediately he is letting out a whimper in embarrassment as Bucky strokes him until he's crying from too much pleasure.

He let's go pulling him into a position where it no longer looked like he was getting off.

"You're good, Stevie, you're good." He said with a small laugh as Steve panted trying to catch his breath.

"Your ass is still red from yesterday." Bucky teased.

"I need my swimsuit back." Steve mumbled.

"That you do. Seeing as you barked at me and humped my leg to get off why don't you go ahead and fetch it yourself."

"Buck that's a few yards away! You can't expect me to run my bare ass a few yards to grab my swimsuit because you threw it!"

Bucky turned his head around to check, "Its like 500 yards. You can make it. It's just five football fields."

"I hate you." Steve whispered kissing his cheek. He moved off of his lap and hurried off.

He got to where the rocks ended and glanced over to check if anyone was there.

_'Shit_.' He thought to himself seeing a few people. Looking over to where his swimsuit laid he wondered how the hell Bucky had thrown them so far.

"Looks like I'm going to have to run for it." He whispered.

Shooting one last look at the people he broke into a run.

A high pitched scream rang through the place and he knew he was caught. 

"No! Jimmy don't look!" A voice said and he could only assume someone was covering a child's eyes.

"Hey stop right there!" Another voice shouted.

He looked over to see a security guard running towards him.

"Fuck." He muttered looking over at where Bucky was both watching his ass and laughing.

He grabbed the swimsuit and made a break for it. 

"Mr. Barnes-Rogers?" Peter asked as he popped out of the water.

"What can I do for you, kid?" Bucky asked.

"You and Captain Barnes-Rogers can go in now. I'll watch Natalia."

"Thanks. As soon as Steve gets back we'll go on in. He had to... run to the restroom."

"FUCK YOU!" Steve shouted still running from the officer as he jumped into the water still naked.

Tony screamed from under the water hurrying out, "Oh god I did not need to see Capsicles junk so close to my face!" He shouted rubbing his eyes.

"Don't act like you didn't love it." Bucky joked.

"Mr. Barnes-Rogers? Where is your daughter?" Peter asked.

"She's in the stroller."

"No she's not."

He jumped up to his feet hurrying over to the stroller.

"Natalia? Natalia!" He shouted looking around like a mad man.

"Barnes, calm down and look for her. She probably just crawled a few feet away." Tony said as he took his mask off.

He ignored Tony running off.

"Natalia!" He screamed feeling a panic attack coming on, "Now would be a great time for you to talk! Or some bubbles! Ba-baby girl please!" He gasped biting down on his hand to keep from sobbing.

He closed his eyes.

_'I am at home. Steve and I are in our room. We are watching Mickey Mouse with Natalia sitting on the bed with us, our future son asleep in the crib next to the bed_.' He thought to himself and finally heard a cry.

Eyes snapping open he looked around before finally landing on Natalia.

He picked up the crying baby holding her tight to his chest, "Natalia honey you can't do this to me." He sobbed kissing the top of her head over and over again.

She kept crying and he pulled away loosening his grip, "What's wrong?" He asked and she held out her hand.

He grabbed the hand looking it over to see a splinter in her finger and he realized she had touched one of the cacti.

"Oh honey no it's okay. It's just a little splinter. We can fix it." He promised walking back over to the lake.

He moved into the water sitting down on a rock putting her hand in the water.

She stopped crying with a sniffle looking up at Bucky.

"See? I told you daddy would make it better."

"Bah."

"Ah now you talk." He whispered.

"See? I told you you'd find her." Tony smiled.

Bucky turned towards him, "Do you have any tweezers? She touched a cactus." He asked.

Tony nodded walking over to a bag.

He held his hand out waiting.

There was no weight on his leg anymore and he turned back to find Natalia had crawled off.

"Natalia!" He shouted going to grab her before she could drown. He grabbed her just after she managed to hit her head.

"Fuck baby your head." He whispered ready for her to cry.

She watched Bucky confused.

A full minute passed and she still hadn't cried.

"Oh my god I need to get to a hospital." He whispered getting out of the water with the baby.

"I'll text you where I am as soon as I get to a hospital! Tell Steve she bumped her head and I'm worried!" He shouted at Tony already running to try and catch a cab.

"Natalia you're bleeding." He whispered in the cab looking at where the skin was broken.

They luckily arrived at the hospital soon enough.

"My kid she bumped her head. She actually got a splinter first and I put it in water to calm her down. I turned my back for two seconds so my friend could hand me the tweezers and she-"

"It's okay! You did what you could. It was an honest mistake. When they first start crawling you take your eyes away for three seconds and they're gone. I'll take her in to see if she'll need stitches. What's her name?" The doctor laughed.

"Natalia. Natalia Beck Barnes-Rogers." Bucky answered.

"Okay. I'll pull up her medical records and fix her up. There's no need to worry. I'll call you into the room soon." She assured him walking off with the baby into the x-ray room to make sure she didn't hit her brain too hard.

She came back a few minutes later.

"You're Steve Rogers?" She asked.

"Uh no I'm Bucky Barnes."

She nodded, "So are you a family friend?"

"No I am family."

"Are you her uncle or something?"

"No. I'm her father."

"Not according to her medical records."

Bucky's face fell more than it already had, "That's true. My husband is her biological father. I haven't- I haven't signed the papers to officially adopt her yet. It's not legal in New York because we used a surrogate." He explained already knowing the answer that would come.

"I unfortunately can't give you any information on her then. I really am sorry but you understand why right?"

He nodded looking down at the ground, "Yeah of course. I- excuse me I have to call her real dad." He whispered walking away.

The phone rang five times before the call finally went through.

"Please tell me you're almost here." Bucky said, voice cracking.

"Yeah we're almost there what happened? Is she okay? You sound like you're going to cry." Steve answered.

He coughed, "Nothing. She's fine. It's just that it's my fault." He said hoping his voice sounded normal enough.

"Hey don't say that. It could have happened to any one of us. It happened to both of us! We both turned away and she crawled off. You were just trying to help when she fell." Steve whispered.

"I love you." Bucky smiled as he hung up.

Ten minutes later the car pulled up.

"Where is she?" Steve asked.

"In room 308 I think." Bucky answered and Steve ran inside.

"Why aren't you with her?" Tony asked and Bucky finally looked up from the ground, eyes puffy with pent up tears.

"I'm not allowed. Steve's her dad. I'm just the idiot who thought it wouldn't matter. Don't tell Steve. If he asks just say I couldn't deal with all the doctors. In ten years they'll both hate me anyways so who cares. I'm actually sure Steve will end up hating me in a few months." He answered pushing past to get into the car.

"Natalia." Steve breathes a sigh of relief hugging the baby on the table.

"I'm assuming you're Steve." The doctor laughed.

"Sorry. Steve Barnes-Rogers." He said holding his hand out.

"She has been a little angel. She needs some stitches and if you would like I can give her her six month old shots."

"Okay. Thank you. I'm sure my husband was a pain in the ass. He hates doctors and I'm sure the idea of them around our daughter freaked him out." He laughed.

"Given the fact I couldn't legally give him any information as he isn't her father on the birth certificate he took it pretty well." The doctor answered.

That's when it sunk in. Why Bucky had been outside. Why Bucky wasn't in here right now. Why Bucky sounded like he was going to cry.

"Can I go get him? She cries when she gets shots and he's great at calming her down." Steve smiled and she nodded.

He hurried out and to the car.

"You are her dad. You're always going to be her dad. Just as much as I am!" He said opening the door not waiting for Bucky to say anything.

"She needs us. She needs you to hold her and calm her down while she cries about getting fucking stitches!"

Bucky shook his head, "In ten years she'll hate me and you'll hate me sooner. I'm the idiot who thought this would work. Steve you don't know what it's like to be told you can't hold your child while they're checking her for any concussions or something. It hurts like hell to know that they are allowed to turn me away because my name isn't on a stupid piece of paper!" He shouted.

"Then we'll get the damn paper when we get to the next place! You're right it sucks! But our daughter is about to get her head stitched because she got my idiot genes and she needs you to hold her!" Steve shouted back.

"I don't want to be her dad if it means I can't risk telling you things without the worry you'll take her away from me!"

"I will never take our daughter away from you, Bucky. And I'm never going to hate you either. You can talk to me I'm not going anywhere." He promised reaching out to grab his hand.

"She's okay?" Bucky asked.

"She's fine. She has a cut and she's a baby so they want to stitch it up so she doesn't pick at the damn scab. Can you please hold her? I'll probably hit the doctor for hurting her if you're not there." Steve laughed.

He pulled him out of the car leading him up the where Natalia was waiting.

"Ba! Maw!" Natalia giggled holding her arms out.

"She's calling you mom." Steve joked elbowing Bucky.

Bucky laughed taking Natalia into his arms, "I told you she was saying Papa. Except it sounds more like bah-bah."

"Okay she's going to cry. It's numbed but she'll still cry." The doctor warned before starting on the stitches.

As she had warned Natalia soon started crying.

"Hey, Natalia, baby girl, it'll be okay. We can play with bubbles afterwards." Bucky whispered and she smiled slightly.

"That's my big girl. Tough like papa." He smiled back wiping her tears.

"And look at that. It's all done." He said taking his phone out and going to the camera so she could see.

"You can tell all your friends you almost got eaten by a shark if you want because you'll have the scar to prove whatever story you decide." Steve said with a laugh as she touched the stitches, watching, fascinated in the camera.

* * *

"I need a drink." Steve laughed when they finally got back to the boat.

"You go on up. I think I'm going to wait down here for a bit." Bucky whispered giving him a kiss as he walked away with Natalia.

"I think we should all get to bed. Steve wants us to do yoga again tomorrow." Wanda muttered walking away.

Soon enough all that was left in the room were Bucky and Sam.

"I should probably get going to." Sam said.

Bucky nodded not making a move to leave.

Sam went to talk yet was beat to it by Bucky.

"I was raped."

A silence fell over the room as they both stared at each other.

"What?" Sam finally asked, taking a seat across from Bucky.

"I don't even know if you can call it that because technically I did agree. Guys are meant to like and want sex too so I don't know what I'm saying." Bucky said trying to take it back.

"Barnes!" Sam shouted and Bucky stopped talking, "What the hell are you talking about?" He whispered.

"When I was with hydra they mentioned wanting to use me for sex. I would refuse it and I would get thrown into this room. I wasn't even allowed to leave to use the bathroom I had to go in a bucket if I had to go." Bucky started waiting for a reaction.

Sam sat there patiently, waiting for more knowing not to cut him off.

"I finally gave in a while later and agreed which is why I don't think you can call it rape but I know I didn't want it and I know I begged them not to do it so call it what you will. Last night I had a dream about it. Being there. The last thing I remember from the dream is the time these two men... I think their names were Jax and Andrew or Arthur maybe?... they both... drugged me and used me and I'm sure if someone has access to hydra's video files there is probably a video of it. I woke up to Steve pulling me out of the tub."

"I'm sorry that happened, Bucky." Sam said, realizing it was his turn to speak.

He gave in and started telling him all about the dreams and about how he didn't remember trying to kill himself but he knew he did. He told him about how there were more times and he knew this wouldn't be the last time it would happen.

"Does Steve know?" Sam asked when Bucky finally finished.

"He knows about the fact that I had sex with some of hydra-"

"Rape. That hydra raped you." Sam corrected.

"He knows Hydra... raped me but he doesn't know what I just told you. About the flashbacks and dreams and things. He knows that it happened he just doesn't know what exactly happened."

"It's rape. Even if you said yes you said it so you wouldn't be stuck in a room with nothing but your own piss, Bucky. And you said you begged and asked them no to during it. It's still rape."

Bucky nodded.

"So Steve doesn't know about you being drugged."

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"He's going to judge me. He's not going to want to but I can't with the pity and he'll get mad and be all "I have to go" "I'm going to kill them" and stuff. And he's never going to want to have sex again. How am I meant to tell him when he can judge me, when he's going to pity me, when... when he can- Sam he can kick me out and I wouldn't judge him for it. He's a good guy but how does someone look past it all. I mean for all I know I don't tell him but you run off and tell him yourself. I could go upstairs to see my bag outside the door."

"He's not going to do that."

"He could blame me for it!" He shouted, "It's my fault it happened. He's going to see it the same way. We- he has a daughter. Sam, for all I know I could have raped him. This is the perfect time for him to kick me out."

Sam nodded. He understood what he was saying but didn't understand how he could think it.

"I'm not going to go running to him or anyone. We may not be the bestest of friends but you talked to me for a reason. You could've easily gone to Natasha but you didn't. Talk to Steve but I'm here if you need to talk to someone else."

"Thank you." Bucky whispered, getting up and walking away.

He knocked on the door before walking in. 

"Hey I just put Natalia down to sleep. She thinks she's a badass with the stitches." Steve laughed.

"What's wrong?" He asked with a frown.

Bucky ignored him.

Walking over to him he grabbed his hips pulling him closer.

Steve draped his arms over Bucky's shoulders, "Bucky, what happened?" He whispered.

He didn't answer, just leaned in and kissed him.

Steve smiled against his lips before pulling away, "Wait stop. Talk to me. You're obviously upset."

"I have things I need to tell you but you're probably not going to want sex after it so I want to do it one last time. Give me one last time. Please." Bucky whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started back up this week. Unfortunately that means updates are going to take even longer. Most chapters will be shorter in hopes of being able to be posted earlier but no promises. Hope you all enjoyed!


	4. Day 7-8: Colombia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning.

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?!" Steve shouted.

Bucky watched him pace around the room.

"I should've _known_! You should've told me last night!" He kept shouting.

"I-I'm sorry." Bucky whispered.

Steve didn't hear him as he was trying to process it all, "You should've told me. You're meant to _talk_ to me I'm your _husband_! They would touch you how I touch you now! I'm surprised you don't have these nightmares every time we have sex!"

"Please." Bucky whispered trying to get him to stop.

"Please what?! Leave? You want me to leave?"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry; I'll leave. I'll go. I'm so sorry." He whispered only half paying attention. He was too caught up in his thoughts so when he heard the words "want" and "leave" he thought Steve was kicking him out.

"Why the hell are you going to leave?!"

"Please stop screaming!" Bucky finally shouted back, automatically feeling like a dick, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have screamed. I-I'll go and I'll catch a plane back to New York when we get to Colombia."

"Bucky-"

He stood up going through the closet to grab a jacket, "Please. Give me a second chance. I won't ever bring it up again. I won't talk about Hydra ever again. _I swear_ just give me a second chance. I'll stay away from Natalia. I'd never hurt her but if it will make you more comfortable I won't go near her. She can call me uncle Bucky. I-I can sleep in the cellar." He said starting to hyperventilate.

"I-I- _you_ -you can just call me up when you want to have sex. I'll try my best to stay away from Natalia. She won't ever see me and if she does and asks you can make up a lie. I- all I'm good for is sex. I swear I won't get in your way but don't give up on me already. I thought I'd at least have a few more months with you guys. I was aiming to make it to her first birthday before you gave up on me! Please I'll do all the dirty work and I'll do whatever the hell you want but let me make it to her first birthday. Or at least her first words before you kick me out. I-I was looking forward to hearing her call me daddy and you papa. That's obviously not going to happen so I'll settle for hearing her call you papa instead of bah-bah. I'm good for sex you can probably find a video of it somewhere and it’s not like it’d be the first time we do it so you do know what it’s like. Use me for it. All I need is to hear her call you papa and I'll go." He begged, tears streaming down his face, "I don't have anything else to offer. I'll send you money once I'm gone because I love her as if she was my own. I'll pay for the house and food and I'll pay for her school and her toys and anything else she needs. Anything else _you_ need! But I'd do that anyways so I can't offer that. All I have to offer is me. I'll shut my feelings off, I'll shut my damn brain off. I-I can probably figure out a way to make sure I don't enjoy it if that'll help. All I can offer is... sloppy leftovers."

"Fuck you." Steve scoffed walking out and slamming the door.

Natalia woke up at the noise and started crying.

Bucky hurried over to her crib, "He hey shh. Papa and I just had a fight. It's okay." He whispered going to stroke her face and deciding against it.

"Daddy-" he started cutting himself off, " _Uncle_ Bucky," he whispered heart shattering at the words, "Uncle Bucky loves you."

Steve walked back in with two bottles, "He means _Daddy_ loves you." He said sitting down on the bed.

"Sit on the damn bed and drink." He said and Bucky hurried over.

"I care about the fact that you think you asked for it. I care that you think you deserved it. You know what you deserve? A slap to the face for thinking you deserve to be raped." He started.

"Steve really it's okay. I don't have more to give you so if it isn't enough I'll just go."

"You don't have to give me anything to see your daughter grow up! All you have to do is love us. It didn't feel good. Me walking out on you. Did it?"

"No."

"That's how I feel being shut out of my husbands life. Knowing what they did to you is not going to hurt me. _Not knowing_ is going to kill me."

"Stevie, baby- Sorry." Bucky whispered looking down at the bed.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I called you Stevie. I called you baby. I'm assuming you don't want me doing that anymore." He sighed.

"Of course I do. Bucky, I'm your husband. I like the damn pet names." Steve laughed grabbing his hand.

"The flashes barely happen and when they do they usually don't end up with me trying to drown. I didn't see a need to bring them up. If I tell you everything that I remember we'd never do anything."

"But it's what you're supposed to do. We work through them together."

"That's rich seeing as I came out to you and you told me to go to sleep!" Bucky shouted knowing Steve wouldn't have a retaliation.

He gaped at his husband in shock. "You remembered that?"

"Yeah, a few weeks ago. After you saved me I asked if the thing with Peggy was serious."

"I told you I had no idea what you were talking about and you said we had been eyeing each other up all day."

"I told you I was gay and you told me I didn't know what I was talking about and to go to sleep. That killed me because it took everything I had to tell you and you brushed it off like I wasn't admitting that I fucking jerk off with you in the same bed as me."

"I thought you were just trying to see if _I_ was because I had all these dames fawning over me and hadn't made a move." 

"I was hurt."

"Yeah? Imagine how I felt with all the ones you actually went out with."

"Well one of us had to! I hated it! I don't like women like that, Steve. One of us had to do it because we already seemed gay enough as it was. I slept in your bed. We went everywhere together. If I had had a say I wouldn't have gone out with any of them. Unlike you whose eyes turned into literal hearts at the mention of Peggy. You carried around her damn picture! You still did up to a year ago!"

"Because I thought I'd never have a chance with you. I was heartbroken. _She_ is my second choice Bucky."

Bucky laughed, "You want to talk heart break? You never came looking for me. I held out for months hoping you'd find me. 18 months. 18 _months_ later I finally gave in and let them use me."

Steve went still. He looked more like a statue than the real thing.

"You were my best friend- _Captain America_ was my best friend so he **had** to be coming. He did it once before. I waited 18 months before I couldn't take it anymore. I had to use the restroom in a damn bucket and at first I was too proud to do it I ended up pissing myself! I lost my dignity because I was too proud to let them win. If anything I gave them more of a show. I sat in my own feces for days before they finally hosed me off and I still had hope you would come."

A small broken sound escapes Steve and he finally realizes he got him to cry.

"I hate myself for not looking but how was I meant to know? No human would survive that fall, Bucky. You kept it from me that they experimented on you. Maybe if I had known I would've tracked you down to the fires of hell." Steve whispered wiping at his face refusing to cry.

"I had no idea what I had been injected with. And even if I had it would've looked like I was trying to take the spot light away from you. How could I do that when you were finally getting all the dames? You looked so happy. So if I had been implanted with a poison that was killing me from the inside out I would've rather died then take your happiness away. I wasn't good enough then and now I'm just sloppy leftovers."

"That plane was a suicide mission. It was my attempted suicide at having lost the love of my life. I did that a few days after I thought I had lost you. I didn't pass out for days though I could feel the cold water I was frozen but I was still awake I could see and everything. It must've taken a month before I finally passed out. I wanted to join you." Steve admitted.

A silence fell over the two men as they drank from their respective bottles trying to figure out what to say.

"You were raped." Steve whispered.

"I was. Sam says I can't get anywhere if I don't call it what it is. I was raped." Bucky nodded.

"Sam knew."

"I talked to him a few hours ago. Don't be mad. I needed to figure it out before I could tell you."

"We're never having sex again are we?" He added sure the answer would be no.

"Of course we are. Bucky you were raped but that doesn't mean I don't still want you." Steve whispered leaning over and kissing him lightly.

"I still love you and still want to sleep with you. Maybe not right away because fuck it, Bucky, how am I meant to touch you without worrying you're remembering something hydra did?"

Bucky nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked.

"It hurt. I remember the pain before everything went numb. I- something small might trigger me, Steve. If you don't want to deal with it or just want to go I understand so I'm warning you if something happens and I'm trying to kill myself or something I don't expect you to stick around. If it's too much you leave no matter how much I beg you not to. I'm going to beg you to stay with me and hold me and love me. If it's too much I want you to leave."

"I won't leave."

"I'll either be clingy and desperate or disassociated and cold."

"Then we'll either talk through a closed door or cuddle on the bed."

Bucky laughed.

Finishing his bottle he leaned over to kiss Steve, "I love you so much you idiot."

"I know." Steve grinned kissing him and pulling away.

"I suck at this. I don't know how I'm meant to respond. I just know we can make it through it. I hate that you think I'd trade you spending time with our daughter for sex like that's all your worth."

"What? Am I bad at that too?" Bucky joked.

"No, Bucky. You're not." Steve whispered.

"I-I know that. It was a joke. If I was bad at it I probably wouldn't be the top in this relationship."

"You're worth more than sex. Way more."

"At least one of us thinks so. For the longest time it’s what I was told. I'm going to get ready for bed. Can I- do you mind if I use a pillow or should I go downstairs and see if one of the workers can get me one?" He asked as he stood up.

"Why do you need a pillow?"

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight and tomorrow I'll see if they have another room available and we have extra rooms at home I can take one of those. Until... until whatever happens happens."

"You're sleeping in bed with me. I'm not going to be uncomfortable, Bucky."

"I will be because I don't trust myself not to have another episode! I won't forgive myself if I hurt you or, hell, if I hurt Natalia."

Steve sighed. Grabbing his hand he pulled him onto the bed, "We're going to sleep. You're going to wake up in a few hours and I'll bring you some breakfast, we will take a nice, calming bath, we will then stay in and watch a movie or two, play with Natalia, maybe go by the pool. We'll have a nice day tomorrow and you don't have to talk to anyone unless you want to."

"You'll leave me alone if I ask?"

"Promise."

"And if I ask for you to bring me Nat or Tony or Clint you will?"

"If I have to drag them with my bare hands."

Bucky smiled hiding his face in Steve's chest.

"I love you." He mumbled.

"I love you too." Steve grinned holding him close.

He stroked his hair looking over at where Natalia was with a smile.

"I love our family." He whispered, feeling Bucky go limp against him falling asleep.

* * *

A few hours later he's woken up to Bucky's mouth on him, getting him off.

"Oh fuck Jesus." Steve moaned dropping a hand to Bucky's hair.

"Wait what are you... I like being woken up like- shit, Bucky, that's it- this but the sun ain't even out." He added, confused.

Bucky didn't stop to answer; he kept swallowing him down, moaning around him.

"Buck this is great but talk to me. Ya ain't sleeping are ya?" He laughed lightly.

Still no answer. He pulls off licking long strips over his cock before taking him back in his mouth.

He pulls off leaving only the head in his mouth as he strokes him.

Bucky pulled off as Steve came, letting him shoot over his face and chest.

He laid there panting for a few minutes before sitting up and turning on the lights.

"What was that all about, Buck?" He asked looking over at his husband.

"D-did good?" Bucky asked staring at him confused.

"What?"

"Did good? Was good?"

Steve frowned, the realization hitting, "Bucky, love, it's Steve. Steve. I- I think you're hallucinating." He whispered grabbing his hand.

Bucky looked down at the bed like a hurt puppy, "Bad."

"N-no, Bucky. Good. You did good." Steve sighed not knowing how to help.

He looked up, face light, "Good? No chair?"

' _They'd make you go in the chair if it was bad_.' Steve realized.

"No chair. Let's get you cleaned up okay?" He smiled softly helping him off the bed and towards the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and helped Bucky in getting in after.

"Steve?" Bucky's broken voice came.

"I'm right here, Buck." Steve whispered lifting Bucky's head to face him.

"How'd we get here?"

"You were hallucinating and you kind of..."

"Oh god Stevie." Bucky whispered tearing up.

"Hey hey hey I should've realized and stopped it. It's my fault."

Bucky broke down wrapping his arms around Steve; crying into his shoulder. "What's wrong with me?" He sobbed.

"Nothings wrong with you, Bucky." Steve whispered stroking his hair.

They stood there for an hour, Steve letting Bucky cry into his shoulder as he tried to calm him down.

When his crying finally slowed into sniffling Steve pulled away.

"Come on let's get you dressed and into bed." Steve whispered, handing him a towel as he went to get him some clothes.

He came back to find Bucky still standing in the shower.

"Bucky-"

"I can't, Steve. What happened this time... what if it happens again or what if something worse happens."

Steve sighed grabbing his hand and helping him out of the shower, "You're not going to hurt me. Nothing will happen."

"You don't know that." Bucky said as he got dressed.

"You would never hurt me."

"But I have. Over and over again."

Steve led him to the bed as Bucky kept talking about times he had disappointed him; Steve adding little 'nope's' between each reason.

He pushed him onto the bed crawling on top of him and laying down.

"What are you doing?" Bucky laughed.

"I'm pretty sure I'm too heavy for you to move without throwing me off the bed and I want a hug so I'm going to lay here, you are going to wrap your arms around me, and we will watch a movie until Natalia wakes up." Steve explained, wiggling around to try and get comfortable.

"Quit wiggling so much because if I pop a boner it won't be my fault."

Steve laughed, ceasing his wiggling as Bucky wrapped his arms around him.

He turned on the tv and the My Little Pony theme song started playing.

Natalia woke up to the music, sitting up to watch the screen.

Bucky laughed, "Looks like Natalia really enjoys the cheesy show. Don't change it I do not want to deal with a meltdown."

"Thank you." He whispered.

"What for?" Steve asked confused.

"Loving me."

"For better or for worse right? Through sickness and in health til death do us part."

"I judge myself for loving you." Bucky joked.

"I'm pretty sure you love my ass more than me."

Bucky smiled, eyes sliding closed.

"Thank you. For giving me another chance. I know I don't deserve it." He whispered.

And he believed it to be true. He believed he did not deserve a second or third or hell however many chances Steve had given him over the years.

How do you repay someone for all they've given? How could he ever repay Steve for the patience he's shown?

' _Easy. Don't make him have to give you another chance._ '

He had zoned out, hadn't heard whatever Steve had said.

_'I won't make you give me another chance.'_

"Stevie?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can you call my therapist?"

Steve moved off him with a smile, "Yeah, Bucky."

Wanda knocked on the door, "Everyone decent?" she asked before walking in.

"Hi Wanda." Steve laughed.

"You coming to yoga?"

"I don't know, Wanda."

"Steve you like yoga. Go. I'll be fine." Bucky whispered.

"But-"

"Go. You'll be back in an hour- hour and a half?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Go!"

Steve gave him a quick kiss before following Wanda out.

Ah hour and a half later Steve still wasn't back.

Deciding to go look for him he started out at the yoga studio- where the teacher yelled at him -then the pool and still didn't find him.

"Tony I don't know what to do. I want to help him but I don't know how." Steve frowned.

"It's a complicated situation, Steve."

He smiled, finally finding them on the deck, "Hey Ste-"

"It's not complicated, Tony. There's nothing complicated about rape." Steve sighed, "What if he keeps hallucinating and all the nightmares."

He frowned. 'Oh. _So that's why he didn't come back.'_

He didn't hear the rest of their conversation thinking it best to leave.

"Has he talked to his therapist? Or maybe Shuri? She might know how to help." Tony tried helping.

"Shuri might be a good idea. Thanks, Tony. I might not be able to help him but maybe she can." Steve grinned hurrying away to find Bucky.

"Bucky I think I found out how to help yo- why are you packing?"

"I overheard you and Tony talking."

"Oh."

"Yeah so I'm going to finish packing and see if there's a room available and if not then maybe Sam or Nat will let me crash on their couch."

"Wait why?"

"Like I said, I heard you talking with Tony. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If I had known what you thought of me- maybe you just started thinking of me that way because of what happened last night or maybe you've been thinking it for a while- if I had known I would be packing to make sure you don't kick me out yourself I wouldn't have said yes to our first date. When we get to Colombia I'll hop on a plane back to New York. Natalia won't remember me and I'm sure you won't tell her." Bucky said with a fake smile as he finished talking.

"I was talking about hydra, Bucky! How could you even think I was talking about you?"

"I don't- what else was I meant to think?!" He shouted annoyed.

"You are the love of my life, Bucky. It pains me that I don't know how to help you." Steve explained.

"I don't know either. I don't want to keep hurting you."

"I think Shuri might be able to help. And if not then maybe there's a potion on Asgard to help."

"I have an appointment with Dr. Reed-Johnson over the phone. Do you- do you maybe want to stay?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Bucky answered as the computer rang.

He walked over answering.

"Hi, Bucky." The therapist smiled.

"Hi."

"Oh hi Steve. Are you joining us today?" She asked.

"Yeah. He is." Bucky whispered grabbing Steve's hand with a smile.

"Okay. Our last session was back in November. Do you want to start there or where?"

"Let's start here and we can go back after." Bucky answered.

She nodded to let him know he could continue.

"A few days ago I started having nightmares again. I guess when I woke up I was hallucinating because I ended up trying to drown myself." He started with a nervous laugh, "St-Steve?"

"I woke up to Natalia crying and Bucky wasn't in bed and then I heard the water running so when I took care of Natalia I went to find him in the freezing tub, fully clothed. He stayed under for at least a minute- minute and a half." Steve added.

"Have you been taking the pills?"

Bucky shook his head no.

"Bucky I gave you the prescription to help you." She sighed.

"I know it's just... I wish I didn't have to." Bucky sighed.

"Bucky I can go if you want." Steve whispered.

"No! I- I mean unless you want to. I'm being clingy. I'm sorry. You can go." Bucky rushed out, letting go of his hand.

Steve frowned, wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist and placing his chin on his shoulder, "You're not the clingy one."

"Last night I hallucinated again. It was like I was there again and Steve got caught in the crossfire. That's why I have him here today." Bucky explained.

"That's why you're so afraid." The therapist said, finally understanding why he had been freaking out.

"Yeah. Yesterday Natalia crawled again Um she had only crawled once before like a week ago so we weren't expecting it. I almost had a panic attack because I couldn't find her and then she got hurt.It was all my fault."

"Bucky I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"If I had found her earlier she wouldn't have pricked her finger and then she wouldn't have hit her head when I turned around to get the tweezers. I wasn't allowed in the room until Steve came either because legally I'm not her father."

"As soon as we arrive in Colombia we're going to the court house to get his name on the papers. I already made a call." Steve added, "Oh and the baby has magic now."

"You said Colombia?"

"Yeah. Cartagena."

"If I call a pharmacy will you pick up the pills?"

"Yeah. I don't like it but I think I need them." Bucky answered.

"Good. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"No. We can talk about last time."

"Okay last we talked about... are you sure you want Steve here for this?"

Bucky nodded, "I know what it is. He can stay."

"Okay. We talked about how you were worried Steve was keeping something from you."

"What?" Steve asked with a frown.

"Yeah and he was but it's okay I understand why now." Bucky answered ignoring Steve.

"Why?" The therapist asked.

"He was keeping the fact that my sister is still alive. I understand why. It's a shock. How do you tell someone that?"

"So you feel..."

_"I feel_ I understand why my husband lied to me for months." Bucky smiled, half petty half true.

The therapist laughed, "Bucky we talked about this."

"I know I know! I use bad humor and sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Not sure why although it may be from my father hating me from a young age." Bucky smirked.

"Bucky!" Steve sighed.

Bucky laughed leaning back and kissing his cheek.

"So now you feel-"

"That Steve isn't keeping anything from me. Unless it turns out his mother is alive."

Steve let go of Bucky, the guilt coming back.

"What just happened?" Bucky laughed turning towards him.

_'I have to tell him.'_

"I have something I need to tell you."

"I'll make another appointment later." Bucky said before hanging up.

"What's up?" He asked taking a seat on the bed.

"Okay I'm not sure how to tell you." Steve chuckled nervously.

"Whatever it is-"

"You have a kid." Steve blurted out.

"I know I do. Natalia is right over there." Bucky laughed.

"Okay right." Steve sighed realizing this would be harder than he thought, "You dated Natasha."

"Steve we talked about this. I love Natasha and if I were straight then she would be a strong candidate but I am very very very gay." Bucky said, speaking slow and as if you a five year old.

"You slept with her."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. I'm hoping you don't remember and aren't just lying to me."

"Okay what's the point of this?"

"When I went and saw Beca I also met this girl- lady- woman what do you call a seventeen year old? Although she may be eighteen by now it was about half a year ago." Steve started.

He sighed, "Bucky her name is Ivy."

"Okay?"

"She's the reason I saw Becca again."

"Oh does she know her? That's kinda cool that Beck has someone to talk to!"

"Jesus you're making this harder than it has to be!"

"I'm... sorry?"

"She's your daughter."

Bucky laughed, "Sure, babe. Me and Nat have a kid I never knew about."

"Bucky I'm being serious."

"Okay, I'll go along with it. People lie, Steve. There's no proof." Bucky said, unable to believe him.

"She looked just like Natasha, Bucky. Exactly like her except she had your eyes."

"There's a thing called plastic surgery and contacts."

Steve shook his head.

"N- how- you're not- but- quit joking with me!" Bucky shouted.

"I wish I was."

"You've known for six months?!"

"Actually more. Natalia is six months and you lost your memory before that."

"Steven!" He shouted pacing around the room.

"I didn't know how to tell you!" Steve tried to reason.

"Didn't know how to tell me?! Do I look like I give a fuck, Barnes-Rogers?!"

"I'm sorry! Look, just take a seat and we can get to talking."

"We have nothing to talk about! If I have to talk to anyone it's Natasha!" Bucky scoffed storming out.

"Bah?" Natalia said.

Steve walked over picking her up, "Ignore daddy. We just had a little fight. Come on. You can crawl around the ship."

He grabbed the puppy backpack placing it on her and attaching the leash, "Can't lose your again."

Bucky closed the door of Natasha's cabin.

"Natasha?! Nat we really need to talk!" He shouted.

"She's on the deck with the star holograms." Wanda let him know.

"Great. Thanks." He smiled, hurrying out.

"'Tasha?" He asked.

"Hey, Buck! What's up?" She asked as he sat down next to her.

He told her the entire situation- a hell of a lot faster than Steve did.

"It can't be true can it?" He asked.

"I- we did have sex. I didn't tell you because I didn't think it would matter." Natasha started.

"But if it's true-"

"I don't remember ever being pregnant but I wouldn't put it past them to do what they can to make me forget. That could also be when they... I can't have kids. It doesn't make sense."

"Before it happened. I'm pretty sure the dates line up."

"Steve wouldn't lie."

"No he wouldn't."

"A kid." She whispered.

"An adult actually." Bucky corrected.

"You have to apologize to Steve."

"Why?!"

"You most likely screamed at him." Natasha laughed.

"You're right. It's not like it's his fault. I'll see you later." He smiled walking away.

"He- is our daughter wearing a leash?" He asked bumping into Steve on his way back.

"People do it!" Steve shouted annoyed. He had gotten the question five times so far.

"Okay okay!" Bucky laughed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have screamed at you for not telling me.

"No you had every right to be mad."

"I didn't. I wouldn't know how to tell you if you had a kid you never knew about."

"Well it would be a shock for starters." Steve laughed.

Bucky grinned taking Steve's hand in his own.

"I want to make it up to you. I want to make everything up to you. I haven't had the best few days and you've really helped."

"If you really want to make it up to me let me take you on a date tomorrow."

"I-" Bucky looked down at the floor with a blush, "That sounds like a lot of fun. I'd love to." He whispered, refusing to look up at Steve.

Steve grinned, "That- I- c-cool. Sounds great."

' _Smooth Rogers_.'

"Wanda wanted to spend some time with Natalia anyways so we don't have to ask one of the kids to watch her." He added.

Bucky nodded.

"I'm going to go call ahead to get us a hotel room." Steve said.

Bucky looked up at him with wide eyes and he realized what he had said sounded like.

"I- I meant get reservations! At the restaurant. And plan the rest of the date! I- uh- I-" he broke off with a nervous laugh.

"Sounds great." Bucky whispered. He pushed past him, stopping to whisper in his ear.

" _Book the room_." He breathed, leaving Steve standing there.

As soon as he turned the corner he pressed his back to the wall letting out a silent scream.

' _He asked me on a date! Oh god what am I going to wear? I mean he's my husband he's seen me in my sweats but we never go on dates. Not anything super romantic at least.'_

He knocked on the cabin door before walking in.

"Hey, Laura. Clint here?" He asked trying to keep his voice cool and casual.

"Yeah. He and Tony are playing poker but if you're going to start gossiping like some teenage girls let me know so I can leave before the pillow fight."She laughed.

Bucky grinned running into the room.

"I need help!" He yelled.

"Did you cheat? I knew this would happen! You got married too quickly and a started regretting it so you slept with someone else and are now realizing it was a bad idea and you only did it because you felt married life would get boring and now you need our help to kill the guy so you never get caught." Tony sighed standing up and already getting the suit.

"N-no. What?"

"Kidding. Kind of. What's going on?"

"Steve asked me out on a date." He giggled.

"He knows they're married right?" Clint whispered.

"I'm not sure." Tony whispered back turning towards Bucky.

"What's my name?" He asked.

"Shut up. It's Ron. Ron Weasley." Bucky joked.

Clint laughed, "What do you need?"

"Help getting ready. What do I wear?"

"Sweats seeing as your date is probably Mickey Mouse in 3-D." Clint scoffed.

Bucky whined, "I would go to Natasha if it wasn't awkward because of the damn kid we have!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. God I'll get Wanda to help." He scoffed storming out.

* * *

Bucky snuck into the cabin around midnight.

Quite as to not wake his husband he got into bed.

Steve rolled over opening his eyes, "What are you doing here?" He yawned.

"I missed you?" Bucky tried.

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Okay fine I couldn't sleep without you." He sighed.

"You love me." Steve teased, poking him.

"It's not my fault I can't sleep alone! If anything it's yours."

"How so?"

"Your Ma always worked and you were always sick. I couldn't just leave you all alone. What if you died? How would I explain that to Sarah?"

Steve laughed, "Hey you didn't always sleep in the same bed as me."

"That was during puberty when I realized if I did you would find some shit out." Bucky scoffed.

Steve giggled.

"Childish! I swear! Wait... I was quite. You were awake too! You can't sleep without me either!"

"That's on you. I just love you so much you're always on my mind. My dreams are even of you."

"Oh trust me, I know."

"What?"

"Never mind." Bucky rushed as he pulled him closer.

"Wait but what do you mean?!"

"Shhh, love. Sleep or I'll put that mouth of yours to good use." Bucky growled, nipping his ear.

* * *

Steve knocked on the door to their cabin the next morning having at some point been kicked out the night before.

Bucky opened the door with a grin. He was dressed in an all black suit along with a black shirt under the blazer, the top two buttons open.

Steve on the other hand stood on the other side of the door in a pair of grey sweatpants and one of Bucky's shirts. 

"Oh. I- I thought... I'll go change." Bucky whispered, smile slipping slightly. So he was _already_ embarrassing himself. 

Steve laughed grabbing Bucky's hand before he could walk away.

"I came to ask if I should wear my black or navy blue suit." He smiled.

He grinned again, "Navy. You look good in blue." He whispered. 

"That's what I thought. I'll be back in fifteen." He smirked walking away.

He walked back twenty minutes later.

"You're late." Bucky scoffed.

"I had to make sure our carriage had arrived. I'm making sure to treat you like a king." Steve smirked, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to it before leading him out.

He led him out to a pathway towards a horse drawn carriage.

"Oh my god you weren't kidding..." Bucky whispered as Steve helped him in.

"Why would I be joking? After everything you've been through you deserve a peaceful day." Steve smiled as Bucky leaned his head against his shoulder.

They headed through the park in silence just enjoying each other's presence.

"This is all really sweet, Steve." Bucky smiled.

"But?"

"Nothing."

The carriage pulled up to the beach before stopping.

"Stevie had I known we were going to the beach I wouldn't have worn a damn suit." Bucky sighed.

"We're not going to the beach." Steve laughed pulling him out.

Bucky pulled him back to a stop, "Steve, I hate to be the one to tell you. I think fatherhood has gotten to you. You need glasses." 

"We're going dancing and then to grab a bite at a _very_ fancy restaurant before grabbing some milkshakes when we will get in a limo to go to the very fancy and very expensive honeymoon suite I booked us."

"You booked a honeymoon suite?"

Steve nodded.

"Technically this isn't a honeymoon."

"Don't ruin the moment." He laughed.

Bucky rolled his eyes following his husband towards a building.

"Wait this isn't dancing..." he said confused.

"No." Steve whispered, "We're here to get your name on Natalia's birth certificate."

"Steve you don't have to-"

"We should've done it the day she was born, Bucky. I lied about the dancing to get you in here." He explained.

"Barnes-Rogers!" Someone called.

"Ready?" He asked.

Bucky nodded and they walked into the room.

They walked out an hour and a half later.

"So how's it feel?" Steve asked.

"Same as before, Stevie. She's as much my kid now as she was yesterday. I'm just now allowed to be told whether or not she has a concussion." Bucky shrugged.

Steve smiled. He knew he was at least a bit happier than before.

"Hungry?" He asked.

Bucky nodded.

Steve nodded, leading them both to a restaurant.

They walked into the restaurant Caffé Lunático and Bucky couldn't help but laugh at the galaxy like roof.

"Okay okay its the fanciest I could find." Steve laughed as they walked up to a host.

"Hi. Barnes-Rogers party of two."

"Follow me Mr. Barnes-Rogers." The man said.

He led them both over to a table outside handing them the menu's.

"Can I get you started with anything?" He asked.

"Some tomato bread for both of us and a Mango Banana juice for me." Steve ordered.

"Lemon strawberry for me." Bucky added.

The man nodded walking away.

"We really should get Nat a da-" Bucky started when the phone rang, cutting him off.

"Yes we should." Steve laughed answering the phone.

"Hey Wanda! Is everything okay? We're like thirty minutes from the ship but if somethings wrong we can be there in fifteen." He said.

Wanda laughed, "I took her to the park. She's fine but she keeps saying Bah so either she thinks she's a sheep or she wants her papa and daddy."

Steve grinned pulling the phone away, "Natalia wants to hear us." He whispered putting the phone on speaker.

"Okay you can hold the phone to her." Steve added.

"Okay." Wanda said holding the phone out to the baby.

"Natalia it's your daddy and papa." She whispered.

The baby laughed, babbling.

"Hey, Natty!" Bucky grinned.

"Natty?" Steve asked with a laugh.

"I'm trying to find a nickname." Bucky explained.

"Natalia honey are you having fun with your Aunty Wanda?"

"Ah-ya!" The baby giggled.

They smiled.

"Be good for Aunty Wanda. We will call you before you go to sleep." Steve added. "Call if you need anything, Wanda."

"I know. Sam's going to take her in a few hours. Nat and I wanna hit the beach." Wanda said taking the phone from the baby.

"WHAT?!" Bucky shouted.

The restaurant shushed him.

"Sam Wilson is _not_ allowed to watch _my_ daughter by himself." He whispered.

"Sam can watch her. It's okay. Have fun at the beach." Steve said before hanging up.

The waiter brought out their drinks and toast.

"Ready to order?" He asked.

"Yes. Can I get some BBQ wings?" Bucky ordered.

"I'll take the burger." Steve added onto the order. 

The man took the menus and walked away.

Steve reached over taking Bucky's hands in his own.

Bucky blushed looking at their hands.

"What's up with you? I'm going to start thinking we switched minds if you blush one more time." Steve laughed.

"Nothing! I'm not- I just- I like it when you ask me out and hold my hand okay? And I hate it because I feel like some teenage girl because I want to giggle or squeal or something and spill my guts out about how much I love you and how much I want you to hold my hand even more when we're in public like this but instead I cover it up with crude remarks along with sexual jokes or my hand on your ass!" Bucky blurted out as if having been put under a truth spell, "I've slapped your ass in public before!"

"Yeah speaking of please don't any time soon. My ass is still sore."

"I told you to use the lotion! I didn't call Loki for you not to use the damn lotion!"

"You told Loki about our sex life?!"

"If it makes you feel better I told him the lotion was for me?"

Steve groaned dropping his head onto the table, "I can't believe you. What if he attacks the world again?"

"Then... he can use your kinks against you? Is that what you're trying to imply? What’s he going to do? _Choke you_?” 

"I- ye- n- shut up!"

"I'm sorry. I'll return everything he sent. I was really looking forward to using that pollen though. And that one potion... and the other... and the other one too..." Bucky drawled out, "Don't even get me started on the one that is meant to make you _so_ sensitive you-"

"I get it! I get it! You can stop! And... maybe... **not**... return it."

Bucky smirked, kicking Steve's leg, "Look at me you sonovabitch."

Steve looked up at him, face red, "I hate you." He muttered, drinking his juice.

"I- I have her number if you want to talk to her? Or meet her..." he said.

"I don't want to talk about it or to her or whatever, Steve."

"But we have to! She's your daughter. I know Nat will want to meet her. You should too."

"She's not my daughter. _Natalia_ is my daughter. I don't know this lady. She is not my kid and that's not going to change."

Steve scoffed, "She is!"

"She's not! I couldn't care less about her. I don't care for her, her name, her life..." Bucky snapped.

"Don't snap at me. I'm trying to help."

"You could've helped by never having told me about the girl."

Steve looked at him in shock, "You- you would prefer to never have known?"

"Honestly? Yeah. You already said she's an adult. She probably has parents that aren't me. I don't need to get to know her. I have all the family I need with you and Natalia and our future child who will hopefully be a boy. I apparently already have two daughters I don't think I need another." Bucky answered.

The waiter brought out the food.

"Enjoy and let me know if you need anything." He said, walking away.

Bucky picked at his food, "When you asked me out I thought it was because you wanted to go on a date not because you wanted to pick away at everything you hate about me." He said. He took out his wallet and placed some cash on the table.

"Thanks for the date, Steve. I had fun I guess. Hey you can ask me out again for tomorrow! You can talk about how much you hate that I keep things from you. Oh wait! You already talk about how you hate it even though you do the same thing. You can complain about how I let myself get tortured and brainwashed and then **_forced_** you to save me." He smiled leaving the restaurant.

"Two boxes to go please. Quickly." Steve said to a waiter.

' _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! You idiot! He just started talking about what happened with hydra and you go and ruin it by complaining about him not wanting to meet the daughter he only just found out about! Of course he doesn't want to meet her! He has to process it!'_ He thought to himself as he packed up the food.

He ran out of the restaurant, ' _Which way did he go- he's right there.'_

"Bucky we-"

Bucky looked over at him, "I- I'm sorry. I was going to call an Uber but my phone’s dead I was trying to figure out where to go I didn't expect you to come out yet." He explained with a shrug, "I'm just- I'll just go back to the boa- actually I'm going to stop by the court house. I guess we were there for an hour and a half for noth-"

Steve grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss.

Bucky pushed him away.

"Stop! You can't complain about me and then kiss me like it didn't happen! You kiss me and I stop being mad because I don't want to lose you but I need to be allowed to be mad at times! I need to be mad that you can't understand why I don't want to meet this person!" He shouted.

Steve sighed. He knew it was true. Whenever they got in a fight the other would kiss them to get them to stop arguing so in the end they never deal with it.

"I just know I would want to meet her if she was my daughter. But you're right. You didn't raise her. She's not your daughter like Natalia is. You don't know her. I think you should at least meet her but I can understand if you can't." Steve said. It was the best he could do at the moment.

Bucky smiled, "I know that was hard for you to say so I really appreciate it, Steve. I can't meet her or think about meeting her. Not yet at least."

"I... understand that."

"This is the first mature conversation we have ever had that did not end with sex." Bucky laughed.

"Then how about we have another one?" Steve asked.

Bucky huffed already knowing the conversation Steve wanted to have.

"After the date." Bucky promised.

Steve nodded with a smile as he grabbed Bucky's hand.

"Let's grab some milkshakes. We can eat at the hotel."

Bucky laughed as they looked for a milkshake store.

"One large Oreo milkshake please." Bucky ordered turning towards Steve, "What do you want, Punk?"

Steve laughed, "I thought we were sharing but apparently you're still a jerk. Just a jerk who I get to fuck now."

"Oh honey..." Bucky sighed patting Steve's chest, "Don't lie to yourself. We both know I'm the one who fucks you not the other way around." He taunted.

Steve scoffed pushing Bucky away, "Get me a large Oreo milkshake too."

The woman nodded and went to make the milkshakes.

She came back and Bucky took out his wallet.

"No! You already paid for lunch and I was the one who asked you out! I'm paying!" Steve stopped him taking out his own wallet.

"Sure. Even though... we're married... and share a bank account..." Bucky scoffed.

Steve went to make a retort before realizing he was right.

Even so, he payed and they each grabbed a milkshake walking out.

They walked back onto the beach drinking their milkshakes.

"I miss Natalia." Bucky laughed.

"I do too but I really want to keep going with this date." Steve agreed, slurping his milkshake.

"So when do we get to go to our honeymoon suite?" Bucky winked, elbowing him.

"Soon." Steve laughed.

Bucky nodded, finishing his milkshake and throwing it in the trash.

"What do you want to do?" Steve asked still drinking his own milkshake.

Bucky hummed thinking of an answer.

He smirked.

"This." He whispered smacking his ass with a squeal, running away.

Steve stood mouth open for a minute.

"James Buchanan Barnes-Rogers you get back here you jerk!" He shouted running after him.

Bucky looked back with a laugh as he saw Steve chasing after him.

Steve sped up and ducked enough to pick him up by his legs.

Bucky screamed as he was thrown over Steve's shoulder.

"Let me go!" He laughed, jokingly whacking him.

"Steven!" He shouted as Steve kept walking, "Well... actually? The view isn't so bad." He smirked admiring his ass. 

Suddenly he was dropped into water.

He came up to find Steve laughing to himself.

"Dick." He muttered.

"Oh I'll show you a dick."

"I see people on the beach so I wouldn't do that." Bucky whispered as he stood up, his suit soaked.

Steve smiled, "Probably best."

Bucky grinned grabbing his hand, "I love you so much. Which is why I hope you'll understand why I'm about to do what I'm about to do."

Steve didn't get a chance to respond as he was pulled down into the water.

He grabbed onto Bucky as they both came up for air.

He grinned closing the gap in a kiss.

Bucky gasped pulling him closer. He rested one hand on the small of his back kissing him back the other grabbing his thigh to help pull him up.

Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky holding himself up.

"I really think we should get to that honeymoon suite before I start grinding on you right here." Steve whispered when he pulled away.

"Yeah just- just a little longer." Bucky panted pulling him back, the hand that was on his thigh now squeezing his ass.

They pulled apart, both blushing from head to toe when the wolf whistles started.

"Your hand's still on my ass." Steve coughed.

"Yeah... I like it there. What you gonna do? Punish me?" Bucky teased.

"Yeah actually I am."

Bucky scoffed getting out of the water, "Honey no offense but you wouldn't ever."

"I will grab you and carry you again, Barnes-Rogers." Steve warned following him out.

"You wanna carry me bridal style, Stevie? Want me to be your little bride?" Bucky teased.

Steve rolled his eyes and took off his jacket and shoes, pulling at his tie; "Your eyeliner is running."

"You're going to end up naked in four minutes. Ten tops." Bucky laughed.

"Well you would love that wouldn't you?"

"Obviously. I spent around... fifteen years imagining what it would be like to have sex with you. And then a few more when I was back to myself. I will never get enough of seeing you naked."

"You never slept with me pre-serum."

"That doesn't mean I didn't want to. I just didn't have any guts."

"And you do now?"

"No I'm pretty sure you messed those up. I have a feeling my bowels are where my heart should be."

"Then where's you're heart?"

"In my dick. That one isn't on you though it's been there for a few hundred years. I blame evolution. Every man thinks with his dick so his heart and mind is in his dick which is the reason why I sometimes smack your ass or just stare when you walk."

Steve laughed kissing his cheek.

"Can we see Natalia before we go to the hotel?" He begged.

"Yes we can go see Natalia."

Steve took out the phone, calling Sam.

"Natalia is fine, Steve." Sam said as soon as he answered.

"We want to see her before we head to our room. Where are you guys?"

"We are by the park."

"Great. We'll be there soon."

They got to the park in half an hour.

"There's my baby girl." Bucky smiled taking the baby away from Sam.

"Have you had a good time with Uncle Sam, Natalia?" He whispered.

Natalia nodded gripping onto his shirt placing her head on his shoulder.

Bucky laughed before turning to Sam.

"She hasn't slept today has she?" He asked.

"No why?"

"It's almost end of day. She's a baby she needs to sleep multiple times a day! She's exhausted." He explained.

"I'll put her to bed right away then." 

He nodded.

"Honey papa and I are going somewhere now. Uncle Sam is going to keep watching you and we will see you tomorrow morning." He whispered, kissing the top of her head before handing her back to Sam.

Steve looked over at Bucky, "Now can we..."

"Let's go." Bucky laughed.

Steve grinned grabbing his hand and running away.

"BYE!" Bucky shouted as Steve pulled him towards a limo.

"Limo. Fancy." He laughed as they got in.

"Well it’s what you deserve. Or it was before you smacked my ass and pulled me into the water..." Steve trailed off climbing onto him.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked, his hands automatically going to Steve's hips, still smiling.

"Come on, Bucky. You know you wanna do it." Steve whispered grinding down against him.

"Sweetie I'm not having sex with you in a car. What if we crash?" Bucky whispered, kissing his neck.

"Yeah but I want to. You always do what I want."

Bucky hummed in response.

A knock came from the window and they pulled apart.

Steve huffed rolling it down.

"What?" He snapped.

"I've been having mail delivered by drone." Tony said.

"Get to the damn point, Stark."

"I was opening packages and didn't realize one was under your name..." he trailed off hoping he'd understand.

"I never ordered anything. Bye."

"Shit I did. It must've automatically gone under your name because you ordered last time!" Bucky explained turning to Tony, "I am so sorry."

"Yeah. Plums? Really?"

"I like plums and I like... Well you don't need to hear what I like doing." He laughed.

"That bright pink-"

"Glows in the dark." Bucky grinned.

"It's very..."

"Oh I know. When I read the measurements I just _had_ to buy it! Did the glass one come? It has a sapphire on the... the outer part. It's meant to heat up."

"Yeah I stopped looking after the plums and pink... thing. Here's the box." Tony smiled handing him the large box through the window.

Bucky pushed Steve off him opening the box and digging through it.

"Great. He's more interested in the plastic stuff then the real one." Steve scoffed leaning over to look in the box.

"Is that like an ice cube tray?!" Tony asked.

"No you pour this sort of resin in and then you put your dick in and then when it- it's a make your own dildo."

Tony nodded.

"Is that for me or you?" Steve asked.

"I haven't decided. Anyways, good bye Stark." Bucky grinned rolling the window back up.

"Where were we?" He asked with a smile.

He moved the box to the ground pushing Steve so he was laying on the seats and he climbed on top of him.

"Uh, Ben? Can you roll up the partition?" Steve asked.

"Sure thing, Captain." The driver answered.

As soon as it closed Bucky started kissing him again. 

Steve pulled away with a laugh, "You said no already. I just didn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of more people than you have to. You've been bad today no way I'm letting you fuck me in the car. You can wait an hour."

The look on Bucky's face is replaced with a needy one, "But Stevie-" his eyes flicked down to his crotch with a whimper.

"If you want something you can ask nicely and if you don't get it but you get a little something _else_ you say thank you."

"Okay..." Bucky whispered confused.

"I- I need to ask first, given everything that's been happening with you, can I- do you want me to touch you?" Steve asked.

Bucky moved back to his seat with a nod.

"Yes, Steve. I understand if you don't want to but I'm fine with it. I'm not saying I won't have a panic attack if something happens. I can like being tied up but still have a panic attack one day from it because hydra did it. I know you would stop if I asked." He explained.

Steve nodded, "So this is okay? I can- we can do this? You'll tell me if I need to stop anything?" He asked.

Bucky assured him that it was okay.

"I won't fuck you. But it is an hour long drive so I'm feeling generous." Steve smirked.

Bucky frowned not understanding right away.

"Wait," he chuckled, "you mean..."

"I do like the view." He sighed leaning against the door, eyes never leaving Bucky's, "And after all those times you did by me thinking I was asleep I'm sure you wouldn't mind doing it knowing I'm awake." He whispered.

Bucky went red. He chewed on his lip thinking it through. ' _It's an hour ride and you're horny now.._.'

_'Sure. Humiliate yourself some more._ ' The Winter Soldier's voice scoffed in his head.

' _Get out! You haven't been back in months leave me alone_!' Bucky's own voice argued.

His tongue darts out licking his lips, eyes licking with Steve's. No way the Winter Soldier is winning this one.

"Thank you." He whispered with a wink, "but wouldn't you prefer me to-"

"I can wait." Steve said ignoring his own erection, "You on the other hand," he laughed, "practically begging to be fucked."

Bucky whimpered rubbing himself through his pants.

Steve grinned. He leaned over grasping Bucky's neck and pulling him in for a desperate kiss.

He pulled away pressing his forehead against his, "You just gonna rub yourself through your pants or you gonna have some fun?"

He's quick to obey, fumbling with his zipper he pulled his pants and boxers down looking up at Steve.

"You gonna mess up that pretty suit of yours? You look so good in it, it would be a shame if we had to throw it out."

Bucky let out a moan eyes never leaving Steve as he gave himself a few strokes.

Steve hummed kissing him again.

"Stevie, baby, 'm so hard. Please." Bucky whispered, pleading with him.

Steve sighed faking disappointment, "Greedy little slut." He growled placing his hand over Bucky's.

"Oh god." Bucky moaned, jerking up off the seat and into his fist as Steve moved their hands.

Steve laughed, "That feel good, Buck? Close?" He asked.

"So close. So fucking close." Bucky sobbed, biting into Steve's shoulder.

Steve tightened his grip speeding his hand up.

"Oh god I'm going to cum." Bucky gasped arching his back.

Steve watched him fuck into his fist a few more times, sees him get more and more desperate for release, letting out soft whimpers trying not to moan like a wanton whore.

"You can cum, Buck. You can cum." He whispered kissing Bucky.

Bucky gasped against his lips coming almost immediately, shooting off messing Steve's shirt.

His breathing is frantic as he slumps down against the leather seat, panting and breathless his eyes falling shut.

Steve let his arms go, falling onto his husband. He snuggled into his chest.

"The windows aren't tinted." He murmured.

"WHAT?!" Bucky shouted eyes shooting open.

* * *

**Earlier that day**

**Wanda**

"How's our god daughter doing?" Natasha asked.

"Our?" Wanda asked.

"Well I'm sure Steve and Bucky won't mind if we share the title. Just because you can't be her godmother doesn't mean you don't deserve the title."

Wanda laughed, "She is doing just fine. I already bathed her and changed her diaper. She's half asleep though and I doubt she realizes I'm not her daddy."

Natasha walked over looking down at the baby, "You and Rogers made a hella cute baby."

"Thank you. They sure got lucky." Wanda joked, Natalia finally fully waking up.

"Good morning sweet girl." Wanda coo'd sitting her up.

The baby looked around the room as if searching for someone or something. She looked up at Wanda.

"What is it?" She asked confused.

"Ah-ey? Ah-ah?" She asked concentrating on trying to speak. "Bah-Bah! Bah-ey!"

"Bucky! You want to know where your daddy and papa are don't you?" Wanda asked.

The baby looked confused.

Natasha laughed, "Where daddy and papa? Miss daddy? No see papa?" She asked.

Natalia nodded shoving one of her tiny hands in her mouth as she looked around the room.

"How did you- Natalia, daddy and papa wanted to spend time together." Wanda said ignoring the fact Natasha could get her to understand.

Natalia looked back over confused.

"You are spending the day with me today. Your aunty Wanda." She tried.

Natalia nodded lightly as if in understanding.

"I'm going to the beach. Good luck." Natasha laughed.

"Ooh! I'll meet you there in a few hours. I'm sure I can get Sam to watch her in a few hours so I can have a break."

"She's a human not a dog."

"I will gladly watch her for 48 hours in a row when she's six years old and everything she says is hilarious. I will gladly watch their other four year old kid too."

"You better seeing as they'll probably also be with three other kids at the time." Natasha laughed grabbing her sun hat and walking out.

Wanda rolled her eyes grabbing an outfit for Natalia.

Natalia whacked the outfit out of her hand.

"Natalia!" Wanda shouted picking it back up.

The baby threw it away again.

She scoffed and let the baby onto the ground.

"I'll get you a new outfit then." She muttered walking towards a bag.

' _That is Steve's bag. Man needs bigger shirts_.' She thought to herself going to check another bag.

Natalia crawled over to her dragging a shirt along with her.

She whacked Wanda's leg.

Wanda looked down, "Does daddy let you pick your clothes too? Or am I going to get in trouble for letting you wear that?" She asked picking up the shirt.

A sticky note was attached to it in Bucky's handwriting.

' _Natalia's favorite shirt as of this week. She'll cry if you say no.'_ She read with a laugh.

Natalia gladly let Wanda dress her with the shirt.

Wanda sighed picking her up, "You truly are your fathers daughter. I'm going to get something to eat and then we are going to go to the park. You can crawl around if you want. Don't tell Steve."

* * *

**Back in the present with Steve and Bucky**

"Hi I called earlier I have a room. Steve. Steve Barnes-Rogers." Steve said to the lady at the front desk.

The lady nodded pulling up the room information.

"Oh the honeymoon suite. Congratulations. You're in room 608. Sixth floor fourth door to the right." She smiled handing him two key cards.

"Thank you." Steve smiled taking the key cards and going to find Bucky in the gift shop.

"Ready?" He asked.

Bucky nodded. Taking a key card he followed Steve.

Bucky laughed as soon as they walked in. 

The room was covered in rose petals. On the bed laid chilled champagne, chocolate, chocolate covered strawberries, and towels in the shape of swans.

"Do you not like it? We can change the room." Steve assured him.

"I love it. I'm just disappointed."

"Why?"

"Because we're going to end up throwing all that to the ground before we even get to enjoy it." Bucky smirked.

Steve laughed and careful not to ruin anything sat down on the bed.

"We're eating first. I'm starving." He said opening the boxes of food they never ate.

Bucky laughed jumping on next to him.

"Bucky!" Steve shouted with a laugh as the rose petals flew up before coming back down.

Bucky smiled leaning over and picking a petal off of Steve's head.

"I love you." He whispered, dropping the petal back on to the bed and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I love you too." Steve smiled handing Bucky one of the boxes.

They ate in silence.

"I-" they both said at the same time stopping to laugh.

"You first." Steve urged.

"I just wanted to say thank you. We fought, you lost your milkshake, our clothes are damp, but I had a lot of fun."

Steve grinned, "I was going to say we should do this more often. But you plan it next time. This is too much pressure."

Laughing, Bucky tossed the now empty box into the trash.

"You done eating?" He asked.

Steve nodded, "Yeah. Wh-" he didn't get to finish asking his question as Bucky grabbed him by the tie pulling him into a kiss.

Bucky pushed him down crawling on top of him finally breaking the kiss.

"You should wear ties more often. No matter what you wear there should always be a tie. It's hot pulling you around."

"You find it so hot why don't you just put a collar and leash on me?" Steve scoffed.

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"We going to do this or what?" He asked.

"That depends. What ya planning to do to me, Buck?" Steve smirked.

Bucky leaned down. He sucked and bit at the skin just below Steve's ear like he knew he loved.

"Baby," he breathed, "I'm planning on fucking you on the bed, in front of the fire place, and hopefully one or two more places before you can't take any more."

Steve moaned pulling Bucky to his mouth.

When they pulled apart for air he opened his eyes, finally seeing the mirror on the roof.

He burst into laughter.

"Wait what did I do?" Bucky asked, confused on why his husband would be laughing at that moment in time.

"There's a mirror above the bed." Steve laughed pointing up.

Bucky turned around with a soft, "Oh." before turning back and starting to undo Steve's pants.

"What are you doing?" Steve laughed. He had assumed they would've tried to get the mirror off and if that hadn't worked changed rooms.

"Stop me if that's what you want." Bucky said.

"We're not- the mirror-"

"No. We're not." Bucky whispered with a smirk.

He moved down the bed before leaning down and taking him in his mouth.

Steve gasped, hands going to Bucky's hair like second hand nature.

Bucky moaned around him and Steve threw his head back with a moan looking up into the mirror.

"Oh god..." he whispered.

Bucky pulled off and ran off the bed.

"What- BARNES-ROGERS GET BACK OVER HERE AND GET ME OFF!" Steve shouted.

Bucky ran back onto the bed with the box. He opened it and threw a small pack at Steve.

"Suit up, Cap." He smirked.

Steve looked at him confused picking the pack off his chest and turning it around.

His eyes widened, "Why?!" He whined confused.

"It's meant to taste like marshmallows."

"So?! I've never worn one I'm not starting now. It's icky."

"It's a condom! Wear it or... no sex. I don't want an std." Bucky tried. He really wanted to see if it really tasted like candy

"You can't get one."

"I just wanna see if it tastes like candy!" He whined.

"Then you can put it in your mouth but I'm not wearing it."

"Then you're not getting sex!" Bucky huffed standing up and walking away.

"Oh I think otherwise. I did not book a honeymoon suite to not have sex!"

"It's not fair! I have tried _everything_ you wanted."

Steve huffed. He unwrapped the condom slipping it on, "Happy?"

"Very." Bucky grinned falling to his knees.

He runs his tongue over his shaft before pulling him into his mouth. He pushed down before pulling off leaving just the head in his mouth twirling his tongue before doing it all again.

Steve tried to enjoy it, trying not to let the only thing on his mind be the fact that he felt his blood circulation would be cut off because of the fucking condom.

Bucky pulled off, "Tastes synthetic. And plastic. I don't like it."

"Oh thank god." Steve breathed pulling it off and throwing it to the trash before pulling his pants back up.

Bucky laughed getting onto his feet. His face says it all.

"I love you too. I'd do anything for you." Steve smiled. Cupping his face he pulls his husband into a kiss.

Bucky hums happily parting his lips for Steve.

He pulls away with a foul face, "It really does taste synthetic. I can taste it in your mouth." He shuddered, kissing him again, biting his bottom lip.

Bucky moaned lightly.

Steve dropped his hand grabbing Bucky's hips.

Bucky brought his hand up to Steve's throat giving it a soft squeeze tilting his head up to nip at his neck before going back to his lips.

He drags it further down to one of Steve's pecs.

"Swear these pecs of yours are practically tits."

Steve let out a strangled noise, "Bucky!"

Bucky laughed.

"I- you don't ever like... wish I... I'd understand if you..." Steve kept trailing off unsure how to bring it up.

"Wish you what? Had tits?" Bucky asked.

"Do you ever wish you could sleep with a woman?" He blurted out gnawing at his lip.

Bucky smiled, "Stevie- my sweet sweet Stevie-" he whispered, "no. I'm very much gay. I don't like labeling myself but if that's what it takes to get you to believe me then yeah gay it is. I don't wish you were a woman or anything. I'm just joking about your pecs."

Steve ducks his head trying to ignore both how pleased and embarrassed he is.

Bucky pokes his chin earning himself a bite from Steve.

He laughed pulling his finger from Steve's mouth.

Steve grinned.

"Blushing so prettily." Bucky whispered.

Steve's face turned a darker shade of red and he wanted to snap back a retort.

"Steven I know your mother raised you with better manners then that. What do you say when someone compliments you?" Bucky smirked.

"Fuck you?" Came Steve's response.

Bucky scowls taking a step back to look his husband over.

' _Bitch_.' He thinks to himself.

' _You should teach him a lesson_.' The Winter Soldier'd voice added.

' _Best thing you've said in a long time_.' Bucky agreed, eyes lingering where Steve's pants tented.

Steve followed his eyes confused before turning a deep shade of red trying not to squirm.

Bucky sighed grabbing the hem of Steve's shirt, glad he wore one without buttons even if he was wearing a suit.

He played around with it for some time as if counting every thread before he finally pushed it up.

Steve didn't get a chance to lift his arms to help get the shirt off as Bucky wasted no time kissing and licking and biting at his chest and abs.

His muscles are still defined thanks to the serum but not as much as before. He spent less time at the gym and more time with each other trying to make up for all they lost.

Bucky smiled to himself. If anything Steve was more like before the serum. Back when they only person he had to fight to stay alive was himself.

He bit down on one of Steve's nipples and was rewarded with a low moan that he can feel tremble all over his body. He digs his teeth in a little harder only pulling away when Steve's moan turns into more of a cry.

He takes his time tormenting Steve's chest leaving marks all over.

He smirks trailing the marks with his finger, "Didn't hurt you did I?" He whispered.

Steve shook his head. Bucky never hurt him. He loved everything his husband did to him- some he's asked for; others that have surprised the both of them. It's embarrassing how much he loves everything Bucky does to him. He's Captain America for gods sake! That doesn't change how much he loves it- if anything it makes him love it even more. He's sure there's some connection between the two things he should look into.

Bucky grinned cupping Steve's cock. ' _Idiot put himself back in his pants_.' He wanted to laugh.

"What do you want?" He whispered instead.

"Need you to fuck me, Buck." Steve whispered.

Bucky gave him a light squeeze, "No need to be crude."

"Please fuck me."

"Now that I can do." Bucky grins undoing his pants.

Steve is fast to undress jumping on Bucky so he has no choice but to grab him so neither of them fall on their asses.

"Steven!" Bucky scoffed.

"You take too long. I thought we'd get right to it." Steve explained kissing him.

Bucky let his eyes close kissing him back as he slid a hand to the small of his back letting it slide down to grab at Steve's ass.

With his other hand he grabbed some lube coating his fingers, slipping his thumb into Steve.

Steve pushed down against him with a moan.

"Son of a bitch." Bucky whispered.

"D-don't say that. My ma was no bitch." Steve gasped.

"No but you sure are a slut you're already open!"

"I did it in the car when you fell asleep. I didn't want this taking longer then it had to." Steve said letting out another moan as Bucky slipped his thumb out exchanging it for two other fingers.

"Play with yourself a lot when I'm asleep?" He taunted.

Steve his his face in Bucky's neck squirming at the question, "No! B-Bucky I- stop it!!!" He whined.

Bucky stopped pulling to the side trying to look at Steve, "Okay. Look, see? I stopped. Do you- do you not want to-"

"Green. Green means go. Waffles means stop. That hasn't changed." Steve cut him off pushing down on his fingers.

Bucky nodded, ' _Right_.'

He slowly started pumping his fingers in him adding a third.

"Stevie we've talked about the lying. You're not getting my cock if you keep lying." He growled, nipping at his ear smacking his ass.

Steve groaned tightening around Bucky's fingers.

"No lies. Stop lying. Promise." He said pushing down trying to get him to hit his prostate.

"I don't know, Stevie... you cum?" He whispered.

Steve blushed shaking his head.

"Stevie." He said in a warning tone.

"I didn't! I just got ready I swear!" Steve promised.

"Were you thinking of me?" Bucky asked.

Steve scoffed, "Pervert."

Bucky laughed pulling him back into a kiss handing him the bottle of lube.

"You want it don't you? Gotta get me ready. I don't want to hurt you."

He pours some onto his palm reaching around and stroking Bucky.

Bucky moaned biting Steve's shoulder, "What'd'ya want Stevie?" He asked.

"Fuck me. Please." He begged.

"If you insist."

He grabbed him tighter not wanting to risk dropping him as he started walking.

"Where are we going?!" Steve gasped.

"Mine." Bucky growled pushing him up against the glass window.

Steve takes one look out the window and flushes. They're right above the pool and grill area.

"Bucky," he whispers in disbelief, "You're kidding. There are people down there!"

He doesn't answer pushing him closer against the window pushing his own pants a little further down.

He grabs his ass spreading him open bringing Steve back to reality.

"Someone might see." He whispered.

Bucky guides his cock to Steve's hole, "it's very unlikely anyone will see and even if they do it'll be a hell of a show."

Steve whined pushing down against him.

Bucky gasps, pushing in slow and sweet.

He grabs Steve's hand in his own bringing it to his mouth to kiss as he pulls out, starting to thrust in and out of him.

Steve let out a strangled moan clenching around him trying to take him deeper.

"Look at you all desperate. Knowing anyone could see you split open on my cock." Bucky panted.

"Bucky," Steve whimpered.

"Want everyone to see how well you take me. What a slut you are." He growled gripping his hips as he pounded into him.

Steve made a noise tightening around him, "I'm yours. All yours. Just- more, Bucky. I'm-"

"A slut?"

Steve made a high pitched noise as if in protest if not for the fact that he was fucking himself in Bucky's cock.

"I want to hear you say it."

"Bucky!" Steve whined.

Bucky pulled all the way out with a smirk before pounding right back in.

Steve gasped, "Yours. I'm a slut. I'm your slut. Just do that again." He begged.

"That's right." Bucky growled. He pulled out and brought Steve over to a desk right by the window and bent him over before burying himself balls deep in Steve with a single rough thrust.

Steve cried out gripping at the desk. Bucky doesn't stop. He can't stop. He drives his cock into Steve's ass again and again and again, pounding him into the desk.

He's gasping and moaning trying to form words- any word really.

Bucky moans and comes deep inside Steve riding it out, drowned out by Steve's cries.

He pulls out.

"Bucky I- I need to- please-" Steve panted.

Bucky shushes him running a soothing hand over Steve's back, "It's okay Stevie. You're going to cum." He promised. He pulled him up and into a kiss.

Steve whimpered cock hard and leaking.

He brought him down to the ground kneeling between his legs.

"You can take one more can't you?" He asked.

Steve shook his head.

Bucky brought his hand down to Steve's dick stroking him, "See Stevie? You need it."

He gives him a questioning look as he gets ready to go back in.

"Green means go." Steve joked.

Bucky laughed driving into him.

He took a second to compose himself still coming down from his last orgasm. Once he gets going he's tougher than before.

Steve's shaking, he jolts under him with each thrust. He grabs the carpet bringing it towards his face sobbing.

Bucky fucks him harder and Steve screams as he comes.

He lets the carpet fall squirming around tightening around Bucky who spills into him.

He pulls out and plops down next to him.

"I love you." Steve sighed leaning over and kissing him.

Bucky smiled, "I love you too. Wanna go to the jacuzzi before bed?"

"You gonna fuck me in it?"

"I don't know. Am I?" Bucky smirked. He got up and walked away.

Steve laughed and ran after him.

He found Bucky already in the rose covered tub.

"I'm a little tired. Not sure I have the strength to do you again." He mumbled as Steve got in with him.

"What if I do myself on you?" Steve asked and Bucky cracked an eye open.

Steve slid onto him with a moan.

"Sweet little whore, Stevie." Bucky moaned as Steve rode him.

Steve whined, Bucky wrapping his hand around Steve's cock stroking him.

"Bucky! Fuck I'm-im gonna-" he didn't get to finis as her spilt over Bucky's hand.

Bucky laughed pulling him off him and into a hug, "Stevie shut up and let me hold you."

Steve smiled leaning against him.

"Bein' so good, Steve."

"Only for you." Steve purred.

They laid in the jacuzzi for an hour.

"We have massage appointments tomorrow morning." Steve said as he handed Bucky another one of the chocolate dipped strawberries. 

"These are really good." Bucky laughed, "But seriously? A massage? Can't we just have more sex?"

"No. My ass is sore. Speaking of, we should get to bed." Steve sighed standing up.

He reached over to get a towel when Bucky grabbed him pulling him back into the jacuzzi.

"Or..." he purred in his ear.

"I don't have another one in me I can't!" Steve laughed.

"But baby!" Bucky whined, "I'm not done with your sweet little ass. So greedy. I give you everything but I get nothing in return." He grazed his shoulder.

Steve shuddered, body over sensitive.

"No no I can't I can't." He squirmed, "Can't cum again." He breathed adding a soft "green" below his breath to assure Bucky.

Bucky lifted him slightly sliding him onto his cock. He rolled his hips deep into him.

Steve moaned low and desperate arms trembling against Bucky's as he tried to hold himself up.

"Cum one more time and I swear baby I swear I'll fill you up nice and good." Bucky whispered.

'God fucking damn, Buck; that mouth of yours!' Steve thought to himself.

Bucky rolled his hips again.

Steve moaned dropping his head, his hole clenching down on Bucky's cock.

"Oh what a good husband I have already trying to make me cum." Bucky purred kissing his neck.

Oh he hates how right he is. Hates how breathless Bucky makes him when he's barely even moving. He's moaning like a porn star, whimpering every time Bucky hits that spot that makes him see stars and god he doubts he can take much more.

Bucky's thrusts are soft and barely there compared to the usual but he's over sensitive and feels like he's falling apart on him.

"Oh too much, Bucky, baby, too much, I can't, oh god..." he sobbed.

Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve's cock giving him a few light strokes.

Steve lets out a startled noise as Bucky pushes them so he's leaning over him ducking him harsh and fast.

He screams as he comes for the third time that night, Bucky soon following.

He panted helping his husband out of the jacuzzi and back into the room.

They got in and Steve collapsed on the bed.

"Stevie you're a mess." Bucky laughed grabbing a warm towel and wrapping it around Steve.

Steve hummed pleased.

Bucky dried them both off crawling into bed next to Steve.

He grabbed the phone calling Sam.

"What the hell? Do you know what time it is?” Sam asked picking up.

"No clue; is my kid asleep or can we say goodnight?" He asked, his voice groggy, still overwhelmed from the last orgasm.

Sam laughed, "Someone got fucked good tonight didn't they?"

"Wasn't me. I did all the fucking." Bucky laughed.

Steve let out a whine from the other side of the bed, "Bucky! Don't tell him that!" He squirmed.

He laughed rolling towards Steve and kissing his cheek, "Stevie doll it's okay. No need to get embarrassed." He whispered rolling back to the phone.

"He's a little embarrassed."

"She woke up. Wanted food. You can say goodnight." Sam said putting the phone on speaker.

"Ah-ey?" Natalia asked.

"Hi baby girl. Papa and I just wanted to say goodnight. We will see you in the morning." Bucky smiled.

"Night night baby. Be good for Uncle Sam." Steve said into the pillow.

"She misses you guys. Can't say it but she does. Anyways we'll see you tomorrow." Sam said before hanging up.

Bucky sighed turning off the lights.

Steve shot up looking around, "What happened? Where are the lights?" He asked frantically.

"I turned them off I'm going to sleep you didn't go blind. Calm down." Bucky laughed rolling over and pulling his husband towards him.

Steve nodded trying to fall asleep.

_'It's just the dark. Don't be a baby. Everything is fine.'_ He thought to himself. Okay so what if Captain America had a fear of the dark? Iron Man is afraid of aliens and the Winter Soldier is afraid of heights.

Bucky snored, his arm falling off of Steve.

Steve sighed looking around, ' _You saw the room. There's nothing there.'_

It started raining and he looked outside. ' _Great. Thor must be mad.'_

He sunk into the bed. The rain isn't so bad as long as it doesn't start-

He heard a thunder and the rain started pouring harder than before, lightning lighting up the entire room. 

He let out a squeak diving under the comforter.

Bucky hit him lightly trying to get him to shut up.

Another round of thunder rang through the room and he wrapped his arms around his head.

' _It's just a little rain. Just a little rain. And thunder. In the dark. Where anything could lie. And... panic_.' He got up out of bed.

Lightning struck and he screamed.

"Okay what the hell?!" Bucky shouted sitting up and turning on the lights.

He looked over to Steve who was basically pulling his hair out.

He stood up and walked over.

Placing a hand on his shoulder Steve flinched turning around to find Bucky, "Oh it's just you." He breathed wrapping his arms around him.

"Yeah it’s just me, Stevie. What happened?" Bucky whispered stroking his back.

"I-I don't- it's just- you turned off all the lights."

Bucky pulled away, "The lights? Wait- you're afraid of the dark." He said in understanding.

"No! I- yes. And then the rain and the thunder and the chair looked like one of those aliens from when Loki attacked and I just... I got scared."

"Why didn't you just wake me? I always wake you when I'm freaking out."

"Who's afraid of the dark besides literal children?" Steve laughed.

Bucky sighed, "The night light isn't for Natalia it's for you."

He walked over to the fireplace turning it on.

"That better?"

Steve nodded letting Bucky pull him back to bed.

Bucky turned off the lights and Steve smiled glad for the light from the fireplace.

He snuggled into Bucky's arms with a sigh.

"It's okay for you to wake me if you're scared. Or horny. I don't mind."

"God I love you." Steve laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry updates are taking so long I’m trying to get back onto a normal updating schedule.


	5. Day 9-12: Panama and On Board

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All translations are written under the sentence in bold, italics, and underlined.

"Bucky..." Steve mumbled in the morning. 

Bucky smiled still half asleep, "Love it when you say my name like that, Stevie." He yawned thinking it was all a dream.

"Bucky." He moaned.

Bucky sat up turning towards him, "Wait are you- tell me you're not jerking off with me sleeping right next to you!" He scoffed rubbing his eyes.

"No!" Steve shouted, "I was trying to wake you up."

"Okay good. I told you to wake me up if you got horny." Bucky smirked.

"Yeah but sometimes you only care about yourself and jerking off is the only way I can get off." Steve joked.

"Well if I don't take care of myself how am I meant to take care of you?" Bucky played along.

He laughed cupping Steve's face, "Stevie you fell asleep on my arm." He said tracing the marks where the ridges were imprinted on his face.

The door slammed open and they jumped.

The others walked in.

Steve grabbed the sheets pulling them tighter around his body, "You're an hour early! The massages aren't for an hour!"

"Okay so? We're a little early." Tony scoffed taking a seat on the bed.

Steves eyes widened and he grabbed the sheets tighter, "Get them out." He whispered.

"Why? I didn't invite them on our honeymoon you did. You kick them out." Bucky scoffed.

"How about you kick them out because you fucked me so bad last night I didn't have a chance to get dressed or- hell- even _clean up_." He whispered.

Bucky bit Steve's shoulder trying not to laugh.

"You mean your ass is still- with my- and not only your friends but your coworkers are here?" He giggled.

"It's not funny kick them out!"

"Why are we being kicked out?" Clint asked walking in with some breakfast for everyone. 

"Steve needs to take a shower and he can't do that with you here because he's naked."

Tony screeched shooting off the bed, "Ew! You could have told me before I sat down on the bed! You guys probably fucked all over it! I was probably sitting in sweat and tears and-" he shuddered at the thought.

"No but Sam sure is standing in it." Steve muttered.

Sam groaned, "Dude come on! There's a bed for a reason!"

"I know it was storming last night but did it start hailing? The windows cracked." Wanda asked.

Bucky snorted grabbing Steve's arm and pulling him forward to check his back.

"Yeah. Hail." He laughed.

"You idiot!"

"Where's our kid, Wilson?" Bucky asked ignoring the fuming Steve.

"Pepper has her." Tony answered for Sam.

Bucky nodded.

"So uh we need to get dressed. If you could maybe... turn around or, better yet, leave." Steve tried.

They all sighed turning away and closing their eyes.

"Thank you!" Steve shouted sprinting to the bathroom.

Bucky laughed. He grabbed his boxers pulling them on.

"You guys can turn around." He said.

Pepper walked in with Natalia, "Someone misses her daddies." She sang handing Bucky the baby.

"Baby girl there you are! We're you good for your aunts and uncles?" Bucky asked hugging her.

Natalia giggled.

Bucky smiled, "We missed you so much, Natalia. Promise not to leave again." He whispered.

Steve walked out of the bathroom red in the face.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"I can't- I need- someone needs to help me get this damn glass out of my back!" He snapped.

Bucky laughed, "Come here. I'm sorry."

Steve sat down on the bed and Bucky crawled over.

"How did that happen?" Clint asked.

"I sorta threw him against the window." Bucky explained as he picked out the glass.

"Why?"

"Because he thinks it's hot if people find you having sex." Steve scoffed.

Bucky smirked pulling the last piece of glass out, "You sure enjoyed it. What was it? Three? Four times?"

Steve elbowed him.

"Ow!"

Steve rolled his eyes standing up and pulling on a shirt.

"What's the plan for today?" He asked.

"Monkeys." Tony grinned.

"Ten bucks says the spider kid gets bit by one." Sam laughed.

"Deal because I'm willing to bet it'll be Clint's son." Bucky laughed. 

After a few minutes Natasha walked over to him with a soft smile, "Hey, can we talk?" She whispered.

Bucky looked up with her giving her a slight nod, "Why don't you guys go eat breakfast in the dining room and then we'll meet you at the massage area." He said to the others.

They nodded heading out.

"Do you want me to stay?" Steve asked.

"I actually... I just need to talk with Bucky."

"Okay." Steve whispered standing up. He placed a kiss on Bucky's cheek picking up Natalia and walking out.

As soon as Steve walked out they started talking.

"When we get back to New York I'm going to find her. I understand if you don't want to, you already have Natalia, but I can't have any more kids. If she wants to get to know me she can but if you don't want to get to know her then I won't tell her about you." Natasha tried to explain.

"Nat! Calm down!" Bucky laughed resting his hands on her shoulders.

"I don't want to meet her. Not yet at least. Maybe in a few years I will but _for now_... I just can't, Natasha." He explained with a small smile.

Natasha nodded, “I get it. And I’m sure she would too. Let's go eat breakfast."

They're walked down to the breakfast area.

Bucky smirked walking up to Steve who was bent over the table trying to grab Natalia who had decided the breakfast table would be the best place to try out her new crawling.

"I thought we were eating breakfast not desert." He said smacking Steve's ass.

Steve shot up turning around to glare at his husband, "You're an idiot you know that right?"

"It's _your_ idiot actually. And to be fair it wasn't even my fault! It was just there. What am I meant to do? Not touch my husbands ass?"

"Not at breakfast!" Steve laughed.

"Then lunch is free reign? I can... smack, grope, **_eat_** -"

"No, no, no, and shut up!"

"That's not fair! You said breakfast!"

"Yeah I have a baby in my food that I did not order. I think I'm going to take it back to the kitchen." Sam said.

"Don't talk about my daughter like she's some object!" Bucky scoffed picking her up.

"Says the man who can't keep his hands off my ass!" Steve said throwing his hands in the air exasperated.

"Hey! The entire world is in love with your ass! I think that being my husband I have a right to look at it all I want seeing as a bunch of strangers already do! They call it America's ass! It ain't America's, honey!" Bucky grumbled as he sat down to eat his breakfast.

"You want to talk about what the world says? How about we talk about your thighs of betrayal, _honey_?" Steve asked, mocking his tone.

"Thighs of- Shit you wanna get between them so badly all you gotta do is ask Stevie."

"I- how did that possibly backfire on me?"

Bucky shrugged barely paying him attention, making sure Natalia was drinking her bottle.

Steve went to speak when Bucky cut him off.

"Keep talking and we can talk about how much you squirm at the thought of me bending you over and fucking you hard and raw on this table for everyone to-"

"We get it!" Wanda shouted.

Bucky laughed, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm done."

"And so is Natalia. Maybe take the bottle away before she eats the plastic."

Bucky looked down at the baby taking away the bottle.

"What's on her ears?" Bucky asked going to check.

Steve snapped over taking the baby away, "Don't hog the baby! I've barely held her in the past 24 hours." He said holding her to him.

Bucky laughed, "Okay but just let me see her ears."

Steve shook his head along with the baby.

He gasped, throw up falling down his shirt.

With a groan he pulled her away, "Natalia..."

"Give me my daughter and go change your shirt."

"No. I'm fine. It's just a little throw up. She's a baby. It happens."

"What did you do to our daughter?"

"Nothing!"

"Then let me hold her."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I did something."

Bucky scoffed glaring at him.

He reluctantly handed him the baby, standing up. He was ready to run when Bucky started screaming.

He looked down at the baby moving her headband out of the way to check her ears.

"You... pierced our daughters ears. Without asking me." He whispered looking up at Steve.

"Technically Natasha did I just said okay. And I didn't ask because I knew you'd say no!"

"Of course I would've said no! You poked holes in our daughter! _Our_ daughter. I thought I got a say. Or does my name on those papers just account for punishing her when she's sixteen and sneaking out to party."

Steve raised an eyebrow before sitting back down, "Tell me you don't really believe that." He whispered.

"No Steve. I'm trying to make you feel bad for piercing her ears without asking." He muttered annoyed. It was a low blow but the best he could come up with. 

"I hate you. I have baby vomit down my shirt and I still sat down to make sure you were okay."

"I'm sorry Stevie." Bucky smiled leaning over to kiss him, "Now go change your shirt. You stink."

* * *

"Captain Barnes-Rogers we're calling because there seems to be some suspicious activity going on in your account." The man over the phone said.

Steve shushed the others as he walked into the massage room.

"Sorry about that. What's the suspicious activity?" He asked.

"Over $500 were spent on a website along with two day shipping for each item which came out to an extra $150."

"$500? What website?"

Bucky glanced up. He handed the baby over to Sam getting up trying to sneak out.

"FREEZE!" Steve shouted pointing at Bucky.

"Ann Summers, Adam and Eve, and Rainbow Depot. They're all... well..."

Steve face palmed, "Thank you for the call. My husband bought stuff from those websites. He was playing a joke. He must've accidentally grabbed my card. Thank you for your time." He said before hanging up.

He turned towards where Bucky stood by the door.

"Bucky..." he breathed with a fake smile.

"I can explain-"

"Oh you better get talking or find a way to return everything! $500?! For what?!" He shouted.

Bucky gulped looking down at the ground as if being scolded by a parent, "Well a glow in the dark vibrator costs more then a regular one and the glass one needed more for shipping to make sure it didn't break. And the cotton candy condoms were... a few dollars more expensive then the strawberry ones and I was in the mood for candy. They also had the lube and the inflatable... _thing_. And the ropes! I had to get the ropes because the pictures they used were too convincing!" He tried to explain.

"That is not $500 what else did you buy?!"

"You wouldn't want me to say it with the others in the room."

"What the hell did you buy?"

Bucky flushed rushing out a few more things he had bought.

"I can't hear you, James."

"You can't call me that! Only my parents called me James! And your mother but only when I did something bad!"

"Then don't spend half a thousand dollars on sex toys! Now, _again_ , I can't hear you, James."

"A collar and a paddle and nipple clamps okay?! Because you like being choked and most of the time my hands are doing other things and I feel bad! The paddle is because I got tired of having a sore hand!" He admitted.

Steve stared at him before turning to the others, "Yeah you were right. I do wish you hadn't said anything." He whispered looking at the ground.

"Captain America wearing a collar. Huh." Natasha said as the masseuses walked in.

Bucky sighed lying down on one of the beds.

"Go on a cruise they said. It'll be fun they said." He muttered.

Steve moaned as his massage started.

Sam tried not to laugh.

"He's kidding right?" Tony whispered.

"Fuck that's the spot." Steve hummed.

"Little lower- that's it just some more pressure- oh that's great." He moaned.

Bucky sat up, "That's enough." He whispered to the masseuse.

"Stevie honey?" He said, keeping his voice soft and sweet.

"Bucky let the masseuse massage you. You need it. You're a little tense."

Bucky scoffed looking over at the others, "I could leave him like this. Let him make a fool of himself. That would be nice."

"Steve! Your husbands gotta talk to you!" Clint shouted.

Steve shook his hand in a ' _go on_ ' movement.

Bucky got off the table walking over to his side, "Honey you're making sex noises. As much as I _love_ to hear them when I'm pounding into you I don't think the others do." He whispered stroking Steve's hair.

Steve purred pushing up against Bucky's hand, "Maybe it'll get them to leave so we can have more alone time."

Bucky faked a laugh, pulling Steve's face up by his hair, "I'm the _only_ one who gets to hear those sweet little sounds you make. _**I'm**_ the only one who should be able to get them out of you. Now you want a threesome or to sleep with other people that's a conversation for another day which may end in divorce depending on which it is but until then no one but me gets to hear those sweet whimpers okay?" He whispered, voice going sweet at the end.

"O-okay." Steve gasped.

"Good boy. Who's a good dog? You're a good dog." He taunted.

"You're pissed about the ear thing aren't you?"

"Oh hell yeah. You brought that on yourself. Along with no sex for at least four days. And I have things to make sure that happens."

* * *

"Hey you wanna come to the pool with me?" Natasha asked early in the morning.

"Can't. Going to yoga with Wanda." Steve answered.

"I can go. Assuming you don't mind Natalia coming with us." Bucky said.

"Yeah sure. You'll meet me down there?"

Bucky nodded with a smile.

"You don't mind right?" He asked Steve once Natasha had walked away.

"Course. Have fun." Steve smiled kissing his cheek before walking away.

He changed into his swimsuit putting Natalia into her stroller going to find Natasha.

"Ah-e An-" Natalia pointed over at Natasha.

"It is Auntie Nat." Bucky smiled walked over.

"Hey you're blocking my sun." She smirked opening her eyes.

Bucky laughed sitting into the other sun chair, "I bought Steve a little present. You're going to want to see it."

"I did too! I couldn't help myself. His shirts just look like they're going to break in half I couldn't help myself."

"I bought him a pair of tight booty shorts. No way in hell is he going to admit they're too tight because he'll feel too bad that I did such a nice thing for him."

Natasha laughed sitting up with a sigh, "I'm going to get a bite to eat. Want anything?"

Bucky shook his head no.

"What an adorable baby." A woman said a few minutes later.

Bucky opened an eye, "Well she can't say it herself so I guess I will: thank you."

The woman looked over at Bucky with a scowl.

"Where are her parents?" She asked looking Bucky over.

"Well if you're talking about her Papa; he is doing yoga. As for her Daddy? You're talking to him."

"You're her dad?"

Bucky sat up now with his own scowl, "Yeah I am. Problem with that?”

"It's just... _you_?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing just maybe wear a shirt next time."

"Why?"

"I don't think I have to explain. There are children here and no one wants to see... you know."

He wanted to bite back but instead wavered at the implication.

"Why should I?" He asked trying to keep his confidence from wavering again.

"No one needs to see those scars and that machine."

She was talking about the arm. He knew that but it didn't stop him from looking down at his flesh arm where a few light lines were on his wrist, ' _Note to self: take antidepressants when you get upstairs. You didn't take them before coming to the pool_.'

"I feel bad for your daughter." The woman added before walking away.

Natasha walked over with some breakfast and a juice for Bucky, "Hey everything okay?" She asked.

Bucky looked up at her, offering his friend a smile, "Course I am, doll. Why wouldn't I be?" Defense mechanism. Flirting. Great.

The confusion on Natasha's face was more than evident. Changing the subject Bucky reached over grabbing the food to place on the table by Natasha's chair.

"James what's wrong?" She whispered sitting down.

"James? Steve only calls me James when I fuck something up or I'm being way too bossy during sex." He laughed avoiding the question.

"And I call you James when I worry. Come on. You trust me." She grabbed his hand giving it a small squeeze.

Bucky sighed, "Steve put a reminder on my phone to make sure I take my antidepressant. Like he thinks I'll forget." He lied.

"And did you?"

"Yes but that's not the point. It's humiliating for my phone to ring just to tell me I have to go swallow a pill so I don't kill myself."

"Okay in... five years? Natalia is going to ask you what those are. Why don't you just call them happy candies? Or happy pills. Start now and you'll be used to it when she asks. Doesn't that sound better than antidepressants?"

"I'm going to get in the pool." Bucky smiled feeling bad for lying.

He stood up and walked over to the stroller.

"I will be two feet away okay baby girl? Aunty Nat is right by you." He whispered kissing the child's head before getting in the pool.

* * *

"That was so fucking relaxing." Steve said to Wanda when they finished with yoga.

"Your husband should try it. He seems a little stressed."

"That's what I keep telling him!" He scoffed, "I swear I should be getting an award for husband of the year. He spends $500 on sex toys- most of which we already have at home- and I don't even get mad."

Wanda raised an eyebrow.

"Okay I get mad for an hour and then he sends me a dirty picture. What can I say? He knows me too well."

"One of these days you're going to get hacked. Now that'll be funny. I'm betting on at least two videos of you having sex."

"Yeah no there's a few more. Some of just Bucky." Steve muttered itching his head with a laugh.

"Are you going to meet them by the pool?"

"Nah I'm thinking of spending some time with Tony and Sam."

Wanda nodded.

Steve walked away. He was going to go find Sam and Tony when he spotted Natasha by the pool.

Walking out to where she was he bent down to where Natalia sat with a smile.

"Hey baby girl." He whispered softly.

"How you doin' sweet cheeks?" Natasha responded joking.

"Hey Nat." Steve laughed, "So, where's Bucky?"

"In the pool. Somewhere. Maybe he drowned."

"Good to know. I am going to take Natalia with me so tell him before he freaks out."

"I'm going to let him freak out for a bit and then remember you took her."

Steve laughed taking the stroller and walking away.

He walked into Tony's cabin, "Hey, Stark so- oh my god!" He shouted finding Tony and Pepper in bed.

"I told you not to give them all keys!" Pepper shouted.

"I didn't think they'd walk in-"

"Really Stark? Can't get off your ass and do some work!" Steve scoffed walking to the door, "Make the lady do everything why don't ya." He muttered to himself walking out.

Taking out his phone he called Sam.

"Tell me you are not having sex."

Sam laughed, "With who?"

"I don't know I'm sure there are a lot of single people on this cruise. Some nice lady I met at yoga, the one by the bar, _Natasha_ -"

"Steve."

"Fine! Wanda?"

"No!"

"I walked in on Tony and Pepper doing it. Can I come over and get the bleach?" Steve laughed.

"What? The straight couple scare you?" Sam teased opening his door and hanging up the phone.

"To hell and back." Steve answered walking into the cabin.

Sam laughed closing the door and following Steve, "So where's Bucky?"

"By the pool with Natasha."

"Ah so that's why you're not having sex."

Peter came barging into the room, "Mr. Wilson! Come quick! You need to see this!"

"I'll be right there kid." Sam said standing up, "Sorry Steve."

"You're babysitting? Really?"

"Of course I am, Steven. I think nothing greater than shaping the minds of the youth which will some day run the world."

"How much is Clint paying you?"

"100 bucks per kid and I barely have to watch them. It's better than sex!"

Steve scoffed, "No amount of money could convince me to give up sex with Bucky."

"The right amount and you'll give up everything."

"Go with the kid!"

* * *

Bucky got out of the pool an hour later walking over to Natasha, "I'm going to go. I need to shower and Natalia probably needs a change and a nap." He said as he grabbed the towel.

He finished drying off going to grab the stroller, "Where the hell is my daughter?"

"Oh yeah I forgot to mention; Steve took her. He finished yoga early and thought they could play. So you could have time to yourself."

Bucky chuckled, "Yeah. Forgot. Sure."

"You love me."

"Unfortunately." He sighed walking away.

Turning the corner he let out a breath. He wanted to scream. To find the lady and yell at her that she had no right to say the things she did.

He hurried to his and Steve's cabin locking the bathroom door behind him.

Stepping closer he examined the scars where metal met skin wishing he hadn't been so foolish to try and claw it off.

Not taking his eyes away he unattached the arm. He let out a scream throwing it across the room letting it bang against the wall.

Steve ran in opening the door, "What happened?!" He asked worried about Bucky.

"Get out!" Bucky yelled.

Listening as to not distraught him anymore Steve walked out closing the door. He waited a few seconds reaching out, placing his hand against the wood, "Bucky it's Steve." He whispered unsure if he was having another flashback moment.

Bucky leaned his back against the door, "I- I know."

"Is everything okay? I heard a bang and- Bucky, honey, I just worry is all. I don't mean to pry."

Bucky slumped down to the ground with a sob.

Following suit Steve sat down on the ground back to the door.

"I was just showering and I got some soap stuck in my arm. I was trying to clean it out and I couldn't get some joints to work so I got upset and threw it against the wall. I didn't mean to scare you, Stevie." Bucky lied wiping his eyes. It was a good lie. A necessary lie. At least; that's what he told himself.

"I can help. Three hands are better than one." Steve laughed.

Bucky opened the door just enough to fit his hand through.

Steve smiled taking his husbands hand in his own.

"Is that a yes?" He wondered.

"No I-I think I finished fixing it. Just have to get it back on and I'll be right out." Bucky whispered taking his hand away and shutting the door.

He tried not to cry as he picked up the arm. ' _Monster. Filthy trash. He deserves better. Someone who wouldn't lie to him. What was the word hydra would use? Right. Leftovers._ ' The Winter Soldier said, ' _Worthless piece of trash. At least I was worth something. What are you? A good fucking every now and then? There's no difference now then before I existed. Bet it's not even as good as you tell yourself it is. Poor man probably hates it. Thinks about hydra every time yet can't do anything about i-'_

"STOP!" He shouted.

"Bucky?" Steve asked.

"Sorry I kept pinching myself with the arm."

Ten minutes passed and then twenty.

"I'm coming in." Steve warned going to open the door.

Bucky pushed against it refusing to let him in, "I haven't taken the arm off in a while okay? It's just a little swollen." It wasn't a lie. In fact it was the most truthful thing he'd said in the past two hours.

"Oh." Steve whispered with a laugh, "Why didn't you just say so? Bucky I know one arm can be an inconvenience but I'm here to help. You can keep it off for a few hours or start taking it off before bed. That might help."

Bucky smiled softly, "I love you." He whispered. He didn't know what was worse. Staying one handed or to keep wearing the machinery.

' _What does it matter he'll leave you in a year at most. Surprised he's lasted this long.'_

_'For someone who can't speak for themselves you sure are noisy_.' He countered back to the Winter Soldier.

Usually the voice was further back but lately it had gotten closer.

Flinching, he put the arm back on, pulling on an oversized sweater he had left in the bathroom the night before.

He walked out smiling at Steve, "I'm okay. Really."

Steve nodded pulling him into a hug, "Good. You can talk to me if anything's going on."

"Steve?" Bucky mumbled, "I have something to tell you."

"Yeah?"

"You're suffocating me!"

"Oh." Steve whispered letting go with a nervous laugh, "Sorry."

"You son of a bitch!" Tony shouted storming in.

"I didn't do it!" Bucky promised.

"Not you! The other one!"

"Ah. In that case I'm going to take Natalia and come back when Tony stops screaming at you." Bucky smiled walking over and picking up Natalia.

"You knock before entering a room let alone a bedroom! Did your mother not teach you any manners?" Tony asked ignoring Bucky's statement.

He watched each of them through the argument.

"How was I meant to know you'd be having sex?!" Steve shouted.

Bucky gasped.

"Quiet!" They both shouted at him.

"You knock! I knock before I go into your-" Steve cut him off shushing him.

"Don't shush me!" Tony scoffed.

"Shut the hell up!" Steve yelled turning to Bucky, "Why didn't you say some stupid joke? You would've normally made a stupid joke."

"Sorry?" Bucky said confused, "You guys told me to shut up. Keep fighting. It's funny. Can't believe you walked in on two straight people having sex."

"I am so glad I married a man. Straight sex looks boring."

"Excuse you!" Tony shouted.

"Shut up!" Steve and Bucky laughed.

* * *

Steve whined flopping onto the bed and kicking his legs and arms like a small child.

Bucky sighed running his flesh fingers through Steve's hair, "What's wrong, baby?" He asked not taking his eyes off the book in his lap.

"We have two days left on this boat and you're already ignoring me!" Steve pouted, lifting his chin up.

He frowned. He hadn't meant to ignore him he had just been too caught up in what the woman had said.

"I'm sorry, Stevie. I didn't mean to."

"I know. But I'm bored. I want to do something fun or... sexy..."

"S-sexy? Sexy like- like sex?"

"Well... yes. Or have you decided to become a priest?" Steve laughed. 

"N-no I just- I don't- I mean- well..."

"Or you could just talk dirty if you're not in the mood for sex. I can take care of myself. Just... what's the saying? Bro's helping bro's?"

"Well I- I'm just not really in the sexy mood, Steve." Bucky whispered.

' _Afraid lover boy isn't going to like your arm anymore?'_

Steve frowned, "Did I do something? I mean it's normal if you're just not on the mood but I want to be sure I didn't do anything."

"No Stevie you didn't do anything." Bucky promised offering him a soft smile.

He grinned getting an idea, "You know porn is a thing right?"

Steve turned bright red dropping his head into a pillow, "I am not doing that!" He said in to the pillow.

"Stevie it is _perfectly_ normal to need some form of-"

"I know what you're doing and if you don't shut up I'll kick you out!"

"It's just porn! It won't bite! I on the other hand..."

"But that's exactly the problem! I want your hands on me! It's no fun if it's just me!"

Bucky sighed shutting his book, "I'm going to go get some ice from the machine. After, I'm going to come back and change to go to bed. You have ten minutes- fifteen if I stop at the gift shop. Use them wisely."

He shuffled on his pink fluffy slippers he had been gifted as a joke and walked out. What? They were comfortable!

Steve looked up when the door closed.

_'I_ am _horny..._ ' He thought, ' _No! That's what he wants you to do! He wants to walk in on youand then never let you live it down.'_

He groaned dropping back into the pillow.

As soon as the clock clicked fifteen minutes Bucky walked back in.

"Nothing? Really thought you'd use the fifteen minutes." Bucky pointed out walking to the bathroom after grabbing some clothes.

He pulled off his sweater, sighing as he looked in the mirror, "They make prosthetics that look real. I could get one of those." He whispered to himself. He shook his head, the arm wasn't the problem- he couldn't give two shits about it.He had another one from Wakanda if the hydra one was really bothering him. It was the scarred tissue that bothered him. That and the fact he was literally missing an arm.

He pulled on a sweater that was way too big for him along with some sweatpants. He grabbed the sleeves pulling them around his hands before walking out.

"I thought you were going to bed?" Steve asked confused on the outfits.

"I am."

"James."

"It's Bucky."

"You sleep in your underwear or naked. There's no in between and definitely not a sweater that must belong to the hulk!"

"I was cold. It's no big thing Steve." Bucky brushed it off walking to the side of the bed.

He looked at the pillow before up to Steve, "Can I-" he was going to ask if he could take one of the pillows to sleep, "Never mind. I lo- I mean I li- goodnight." He ended up whispering walking out of the bedroom and into the cabins living room.

He sighed looking at the couch. It was hard and the fabric rough with pillows to match but it had to do. With a sigh he walked to the closet in hopes of finding a blanket. Nothing.

Steve walked in confused, "Why did you say goodnight and then leave?" He asked.

Bucky turned around trying to come up with some excuse, "I-" he was drowning, his mouth dry as he looked for something- anything!- to say.

"Would you prefer I didn't say goodnight?"

"No I would prefer you sleep with me!"

"I was just looking for a blanket. Like I said I'm cold."

"We have blankets on the bed."

"Right. Let's go sleep then." He smiled walking back into the room.

Steve frowned, "You didn't like... cheat on me did you? Feeling guilty?" He half teased.

Bucky looked back over, "Do you actually think I would ever do that? That I would hurt you like that? I've hurt you before we both know that but I would never cheat on you." I mean, come on! The implication he'd ever cheat hurt worse than whatever scars some stranger decided to point out.

"I have to go get something. I'll be back." Steve nodded, grabbing a jacket and walking out. He couldn't believe he would ever ask Bucky if he cheated. He had meant it mostly as a joke but given how his husband had been acting there was some truth behind his question. He wanted to know why he was acting so distant.

He didn't even get to knock on the cabin door before Natasha opened.

"Oh are you going out? If you have a date or something I can come back later."

Natasha laughed, "I was going to go ask Clint for a movie. Come in!"

"I don't need to; I just needed to ask, did something happen with Bucky? He's a little off today."

"He did seem a little off when I got back but he said it was nothing."

Steve nodded, "Okay. Thanks. Let me know if he tells you anything. I'm just worried." He smiled walking back to his cabin.

He found Bucky asleep in bed. He leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Bucky startled awake shooting upright, "I didn't mean to fall asleep I'm sorry! I'll get the knife!" He rushed out, not looking at Steve.

' _Careful. He probably doesn't know who you are right now_.' Steve warned himself.

"Bucky it's Steve. There is no need for a knife. I was just going to give you a goodnight kiss." He said taking a step back and turning on the lamp.

"Shit Steve I'm sorry I must've been having another hydra dream. I am so sorry did I hurt you?" Bucky gulped wanting to reach over. He wanted to grab Steve's hand, assure him he was okay.

' _But am I?_ ' He wondered, ' _What if he doesn't want me to?'_

"Get in bed. You look exhausted."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked.

"That you look exhausted? Yeah."

"That you're okay."

"I'm fine." He assured Steve as he crawled into bed next to him.

Steve sighed laying down with his head on Bucky's chest, "I love you and I swear I will never ask something like that again no matter how sketchy you're acting."

"This your way of trying to get me to talk?"

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Okay."

As soon as Steve fell asleep Bucky slid out of his grasp. He placed a pillow under Steve's head so he wouldn't realize he was gone.

He sighed as he laid down on the couch.

"I hate that I care." He whispered to himself as he fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop clawing at the arm! Do you want to go back in the chair?" One of the Winter Soldier's many handlers shouted slapping the asset across the face when he refused to stop.

He screamed, shocks of pain shooting up his arm running through his body.

He kept clawing at the arm trying to get it off.

Blood ran down his side as his nails broke through the scarred tissue.

Two soldiers whacked him with cattle rods, burning an imprint into his skin.

"Get it off get it off!" The Winter Soldier shouted, denting a piece of the arm, unfortunately tighter so it pressed into his broken skin.

The handler kicked him in the crotch and the soldier finally stopped clawing at his arm.

He gasped dropping his head and bending over.

"Quit. It." The handler growled pushing his heel into the assets crotch.

The Winter Soldier nodded his eyes squeezed shut.

"For your sake I wish I believed you. Tie him up!" He ordered.

"No!" Bucky shouted trying to pull away as his hands were tied behind his back and a collar placed around his throat, the men tying the attached leash to a pole so he couldn't move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve woke up to Bucky's screams.

"Bucky?" He asked turning on the lights.

' _The dick left to sleep on the couch! What the hell is going on?!'_ Steve thought to himself getting up and going to find Bucky.

"I-I-I can't breath- I can't breath, Steve! Help me! Please! I can- I can't-" Bucky gasped hyperventilating as he tried pulling the collar of the sweater away from his throat.

Steve hurried over to his side, "Hey hey hey okay I'm here I'm here." He whispered grabbing his hand and moving it away from his throat.

He quickly grabbed a pair of scissors breaking the sweater down the middle more worried on Bucky's breathing than the sweater.

"There! There! You're good! I'm going to get you some water." He said getting up and walking away to the small kitchen.

He came back to Bucky sobbing clawing at the arm, "Get it off." He whispered.

"What?" Steve asked walking over with the bottle of water.

"Get it off! I don't want it on! Get it off me!" Bucky sobbed. He could feel the blood running down his side and it just brought him closer to the nightmares.

"Okay okay! How do I- do I just-"

"I don't care just get it off me!"

Steve grabbed them arm and carefully pulled it off.

Bucky screamed in pain, the arm having clawed into his skin.

He flinched in pain at having to hurt his husband to help.

He gasped as the arm came off, his sobs softening falling into Steve's arms. He turned around in his arms crying into his chest.

"It's okay, Bucky, I'm here for you." Steve whispered stroking his hair.

When he was sure Bucky had calmed down enough he picked him up bridal style.

Bucky groaned in protest.

"Shh shhh it's okay we're just getting you into bed."

He placed Bucky down on the bed pulling the covers over his legs before walking to the bathroom. He came back with an ice pack and a damp towel.

"I'm going to clean up the blood and then place the ice pack on your-" he cut himself off.

' _What the hell is it called? He can't say arm but it isn't just his shoulder!_ ' He thought to himself.

"On where you broke the skin. After a few hours we'll clean up the cuts and bandage it up. Tony's on his way over to help. See if something's wrong with the arm. I don't expect you to talk because I have no clue what you went through just now." He said already starting to clean the blood of his side ignoring the amputated area for the moment, afraid of Bucky freaking out again.

Once he finished cleaning his side and the inevitable was upon them he sighed, "Is it okay if I... disinfect and bandage your... limb?"

"Or lack there of." Bucky muttered.

"Bucky if you don't want me to I understand. You never take the damn thing off no wonder it's bothering you!"

_'And as soon as it's healed it's going back on_.' Bucky thought to himself.

"Go ahead." He whispered instead.

Steve nodded cleaning off the blood before bandaging it up.

Tony carefully walked into the room not knowing what to expect.

"Get him out. Stevie get him out please." Bucky begged.

Steve looked over at Tony.

He nodded grabbing the arm from the table, "I'm going to fix this up a bit and bring it back." He said.

"Thank you."Steve mouthed.

Tony nodded walking out.

He finished bandaging up the limb grabbing the ice pack and placing it there.

"Go to sleep, baby, I'm here if anything happens." He whispered stroking his hair as he sunk further into the bed

* * *

Steve woke up the next morning, Bucky no where to be found.

' _Probably went to see Tony about the arm.'_

Deciding not to worry until he had something to worry about, he showered and got ready for the day feeding and changing Natalia.

"Capsicle? Winter around?" Tony asked tapping against the door frame.

"Who?" Steve laughed.

"Your husband. I have his arm."

"One: if you call him Winter to his face you'll be eating shit. Two: he hasn't been here since I woke up I assumed he went to see if it was done."

Tony clicked just tongue, nodding.

"Probably just went for breakfast. I'm going to rest up I was up all night working on this thing. Just tell him it's in here when he gets back." Tony smiled handing him the arm before rushing away.

"What a weird man..." Steve whispered placing the arm on the bed.

He grabbed Natalia and they headed out to check if Bucky was in the dining room.

* * *

Bucky had walked up to the table where everyone else was sitting.

"Morning." He smiled.

Going to sit down he realized they were all staring.

"What?" He snapped, "Well someone don't be a coward and say something!"

"Tony told us what happened last night." Sam answered.

"I had a bad night so what?" He scoffed.

"James-" Natasha started.

"Bucky!"

"Okay, Bucky, Steve came to me earlier yesterday worried about you. Said you hadn't been acting yourself."

"Okay fine I had a shitty day too. Everyone does! Why does it have to matter? Sorry I'm ridden with PTSD from the war and being fucking tortured."

"You don't seem to be in the best mood right now either." Clint added.

"Because I'm being fucking interrogated by the people who are meant to be my friends!"

"Look, just sit down. We all just care about you, Bucky. We're your friends." Natasha tried reaching out to grab his hand.

"Don't touch me!" Bucky shouted pulling away, "You're not acting much like friends right now. So what? You all pretended to like me because you need to keep an eye on me? Steve said I do so he could keep an even closer eye on me? I am just so dangerous you had to make the Captain pretend to love me."

Natasha looked over at the others as they all realized just how bad the situation was.

"That's not what it is and you know it." She stated slowly as if talking to a child.

Seeing his husband with the others Steve smiled. He ran over going to grab his hand just to miss and go past the sweater.

He laughed realizing he had gone to grab his left hand which was back in the cabin, "Whoops. My mistake." He said switching sides to grab Bucky's other hand.

"You know if you didn't want to marry a one armed freak you didn't have to! You could've said no, you could've said I don't, you could've not proposed which now that I'm thinking about it you probably knew I was going to propose which is why you didn't show up and why you ended up doing it yourself, even better you didn't have to ask me out. Oh but best yet? You could've stayed where you wanted to be. Lock me up instead of fucking with me. I may be a monster but at least I have an ounce of human decency left in me unlike all of you! I would never fuck around with someone just for the hell of it no matter what they had done!" Bucky shouted storming out.

"I- watch her." Steve said handing Clint Natalia and running out after Bucky.

"Okay you have got to stop!" He said, grabbing his arm.

"Don't touch me!"

"You're my husband and your screaming at me like I'm trying to rape... you... fuck, Bucky, was it another one? Why didn't you say anything?" He whispered bringing a hand to Bucky's face.

"No, Steve. It wasn't one of those."

"In that case you need to stop talking the way you are okay? Because it sucks to hear you saying I don't love you when I do. I feel like it's your way of telling me you don't love me. So yeah it sucks!"

"I'm sorry okay? I've had a bad few days!"

"I get it but don't take it out on me." 

Bucky sighed, "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry."

Steve smiled, "You're coming to yoga with me tomorrow. You're too stressed."

* * *

Bucky got back to the room to find the arm on the bed. He sighed picking it up.

Tony knocked on the cabin door walking into the room, "I hope it's fine. I want to work on it some more but I brought it in case you wanted to put it on now."

  
  


"Thank you." Bucky smiled walking to the bathroom.

Why won't it work?! He wanted to scream failing to put it on. The damn bandages were in the way. Even if he could get it on it would just fall off.

Steve knocked on the bathroom door, "Someone wants to say good morning to her daddy." He said in a sing song voice.

"One minute!" Bucky said. He scoffed pulling the sweater back on placing the arm on the sink before walking out.

He smiled, "доброе утро, девочка." He whispered kissing the child's cheek.

_**"Good morning, baby girl."** _

Natalia giggled reaching out to grab onto Bucky.

He wasn't sure how to grab her. He didn't want to accidentally drop her.

"Я понял тебя." He said mostly trying to convince himself. He hesitantly took her from Steve letting her grab onto his hair.

" _ **I've got you."**_

"Ow." He laughed. 

"What's with the Russian?" Steve asked.

"Nothing. Just want her to be bilingual."

Natalia pulled on his hair trying to grab his attention.

"Sorry baby girl. All eyes on you." Bucky said walking away from Steve.

"Baby..." Steve whispered.

"Look I'm not feeling so well. I'm going to sleep. On the couch. And I don't want you to move me to the bed."

"Okay. Do you want water? Or I could make some tea?" Steve asked.

"No."

Steve nodded, "In that case I'll take Natalia so you can rest." He said taking the child.

Sighing Bucky closed his eyes. Why couldn't he be normal?

The next few hours sucked. No matter what Bucky tried to do Steve was always there to help.

He'd go to grab a water bottle and Steve would beat him to it, opening it and handing it to him before taking it back to put the cap on. If he wanted to eat? Steve was there in case he dropped his fork or needed a napkin.

What about showering? It took him an hour to convince Steve he'd be fine alone for thirty minutes. Did it work? Not at all but he was not about to admit that to Steve.

God he wasn't even allowed to play with his own child without Steve hovering!

"I'm going to the sauna!" He said after hours of being suffocated.

"Okay just give me a second to change and we can-"

"I'm going. Not us. Me."

"Yeah I heard but-"

"Матерь божья, Стив, ты меня душишь! Я действительно могу умереть от того, как близко ты стоишь! я могу позаботиться о себе! Я могу позаботиться о своей дочери! Мне не нужно, чтобы ты вытирал мне чертову задницу только потому, что у меня одна рука, просто оставь меня в покое!" Bucky shouted, running his hand through his hair.

" ** _mother of god Steve youre suffocating me! i might actually die from how close youre standing! i can take care of myself! i can take care of my daughter! i don't need you wiping my damn ass for me just because i have one arm just leave me be!"_**

"Okay, the only words I understood were Steve and damn." Steve said trying to process the Russian.

Bucky sighed. He shouldn't have snapped and he was damn well glad Steve didn't understand.

"I'm not some child who needs a babysitter. Let me go." He whispered.

* * *

It wasn't easy. He had no idea what was going on or why Bucky was acting like he hated him. He was trying but he couldn't do much without knowing why it was happening.

"Bucky let's go. It's time for yoga." Steve tried in the morning.

"Steve the teacher hates me!" Bucky scoffed following him. The wounds had healed nicely and he had managed to get the arm back on even if it pinched when he moved it.

"I don't care. You're too stressed. Did you take your pills today?"

"Don't you ever ask me that it's humiliating!" Bucky snapped.

"I have to ask! Given how you've been acting!" Steve snapped back. Maybe Bucky wasn't the only stressed one.

"Here then!" He shouted taking out the bottle. He poured two pills into his hand downing them, "Happy?!"

"Yes actually I don't want to have to tell my daughter her father jumped off the boat!"

"You can go suck a dick." Bucky scoffed walking into the yoga room.

"Bucky you're joining us today?" Wanda asked hugging him.

Bucky faked a smile, "Yeah. Steve thinks it will do me some good."

"Well I hope he's right. You're getting wrinkles." Wanda joked.

Steve scoffed walking over to his mat. Why was his husband so nice to everyone except him?

"Bucky you're here next to me." He said.

Bucky nodded walking over.

"Good morning class. Today we will start out with- Mr. Barnes-Rogers you're back." The teacher said.

"Yes my husband invited me. I was told it was open to all."

"You may want to take the sweater off." The teacher said turning to the rest of the class, "Let's start with Cobra pose." She said the picture of a woman, legs on the ground holding her torso up, showing on the screen.

She walked around watching everyone, "Perfect Stacy. You too Wanda."

"Little higher Steve."

"Good job everyone! Now let's go into a High Lunge." The picture changed.

"Mr. Barnes-Rogers follow the picture." She snapped.

Steve snorted. At least someone calls him out for the dirty jokes.

"Okay now downward facing dog. Steve, you seem to have this one down why don't you help others?" She asked.

Steve nodded standing up.

Bucky took a deep breath feeling Steve come up behind him.

' _God damnit I shouldn't have come!'_ The position was vulnerable. He felt exposed and of all days to have it happen. He can feel Steve's eyes on him and even though he's just there to help with the position his breathing can't help but speed up.

Steve steps closer his hands not yet on Bucky's hips.

He held his breath, body tense.

Steve places his hands on his husbands hips giving a gentle squeeze.

He stroked his thumb over his hip.

Bucky snapped up pulling away, "I don't want to have sex!" He shouted. 

Steve's eyes widened as he took a step back, "Whoah I didn't- I wasn't-"

"I- just stay away from me!" He shouted running out.

He could feel everyones eyes on him and knew he had to think quick.

"He has PTSD. He had an episode today he's still in shock. I'm going to go make sure he's okay." He said walking over to grab his shoes.

"Steve I can't let you go after him given what he said. I hope you understand." The teacher said.

"What? He's my husband it was literally nothing." Steve laughed.

"I'll go with him. If it makes you feel better." Wanda said to the teacher. Someone had to go after Bucky.

The teacher nodded and they both headed out.

"Thank you." Steve said.

"Yeah. Go. He needs help." Wanda said and Steve ran off.

"I don't care who you think you are you can not speak to me like that!" He shouted stopping Bucky in his tracks once he found him.

"I can speak to you however I damn well please!" Bucky shouted back.

"No you can't! Not when I put up with all of this!"

"You don't have to! You hate me so much then just go!"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that you can't speak to me like that. I'm your husband and your best friend, James. I'm not some rapist"

"It's Bucky!"

"It's James until you decide to quit acting like a child and either get some help or tell me what the hell is going on."

"Then it's also Barnes until you learn to mind your own damn business!"

"This is my business! I can't help you when I don't know what's causing your nightmares and mood swings!"

"Who said you had to help? So I have a nightmare let me cry to myself about it. There was a time I did everything I could to make sure I wouldn't wake you. I got too comfortable and thought it was okay to be vulnerable around you. You don't have to worry. I will lock myself in the bathroom if I have to to make sure you don't have to hear my crying. Sorry I'm not prefect."

"I want you to cry to me but you can't if you don't tell me what's wrong first! God damnit we've been married for a year and I have not seen you with that arm off once until yesterday!"

"Because I'm disgusting!" Bucky shouted. As soon as the words left his mouth he fell to the ground, "I'm disgusted by myself. By all my scars and how repulsive I am. If the arm stays off you will never sleep with me again. I'd never sleep with me! I can't touch you with it because if I'm so repulsed I can't even imagine how you must feel. You must want to throw up every time you see it. I know I do."

Steve stares in shock before finally going over to Bucky's side, "Of all the things..." he whispered sitting down, "You're insecure about your arm. You think I won't love you if you don't have two."

How he hadn't pieced it together before he had no idea. It was so obvious! Like a puzzle slapping him in the face. It was right there. He never took it off, he threw it against the wall, locked you out when you offered to help, he was ready to cut his whole shoulder off to get it away. It was always the arm.

"And that's why you don't want to have sex." He added like an after thought. It all finally clicked. Everything he was worried about was right under his nose and he didn't even know.

"I can't love myself without the arm how could you? I can't be me without the arm." Bucky added.

"Bucky I love you with or without! I always will. I'm attracted to you with or without. If you choose to never wear it again I'm not going to complain because you're still you. I'm still attracted to you. If you do wear it that's great too because you're used to it already. But you have to be able to take it off at times and just breath." Steve assured him resting a hand on his knee.

"I shouldn't have said I didn't want to have sex with you during yoga. It was inappropriate you were just trying to help."

"I got too close. I- I was trying to start something even if it was subconsciously. Look if we ever do you're never going to let me live it down but I can live without sex." Steve laughed, "I want you to get the help you need and be able to want it and not feel like you owe it. I want you to feel comfortable enough with yourself to be able to feel comfortable with me. If that means we don't have sex for a few months or ever again then so be it. It's just sex. And I'll try not to make a move but I can't promise I won't make one or two along the way you just have to say no."

"How did I get so lucky as to find a man like you?" Bucky laughed.

"I ask myself that every day."

"Even without sex?"

"Even without sex. The sex is great, Bucky but I don't need it to be happy I just need you."

Bucky grinned, "As soon as I get better-"

"Whenever that may be." Steve cut him off.

"Whenever that may be." Bucky repeated, "I promise you lots of kinky sex."

Steve laughed, "Deal."

"I really am sorry for screaming that you were trying to fuck me in class."

"Who cares. Look, you'll sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the couch. When you're ready to... get closer just let me know. I mean we're going to have to try some and talk. I don't want to touch you in any way that may make you uncomfortable."

"I want you to touch me or hold my hand or whatever but I can't right now."

"What did you say to me in Russian yesterday?"

"Oh that... I kind of told you to leave me alone and that just because I only had one arm didn't mean I was incapable of... wiping my own ass." Bucky explained laughing.

Steve groaned, "Yeah don't worry I will never offer to do that."

"So you can eat my ass but you can't wipe it?"

"Now I'm never going to do it again."

Bucky laughed leaning his head against Steve's shoulder. 

Steve smiled, "Okay. You want to go back to our room? Or yoga? If you need to be alone I understand that too."

"I think I need to be alone for a while. I love you and I am so thankful for everything you do for me but I need some time to myself. To try and figure things out." Bucky whispered.

"Okay. In that case I'll meet you at our cabin in a few hours." Steve said helping Bucky up to his feet.

"C-can I kiss you?" Bucky asked, voice soft as Steve made to walk away.

Steve smiled turning back to Bucky, "Always."

He grinned leaning over and giving Steve a short kiss, walking away before either of them could say anymore.

He walked over to the crib still smiling, "Look who woke up early this morning." He whispered picking Natalia out of the crib.

"You wanna play a game with daddy?" He asked grabbing some stuffed animals and blocks.

He walked over to the living room placing it all on the ground with Natalia.

He grabbed the lion stuffed animal.

"Rawr! I'm a big bad lion!" He joked.

Natalia laughed grabbing the elephant, blowing a raspberry.

Bucky pretendes to gasp offended, "How dare you! I am Simba."

"Imba!" Natalia repeated.

"Rawr! I'm going to eat you." He faked a growl tickling her.

Natalia squealed laughing and Bucky couldn't help but smile as he kisses her head, "You, Natalia, are my best gal."

"Aw man I thought that was me." Natasha said from the door.

Bucky looked up his smile faltering slightly into embarrassment, "How much did you hear?"

"That you're Simba." She laughed, "How are you?"

"Are you asking or is Steve?"

"Both?"

"I wish I didn't hate myself. The parts of hydra that are engraved in me. I wish I trusted that Steve's love for me just might run deeper than mine for him. I mean if a fricking baby isn't afraid of me why should I be? They both love the arm because it's a part of me. I think Natalia likes the cold it gives off and Steve just... he's Steve. Why can't I like it too? And neither of them care if I don't have it on but I do because if I don't have it on I feel... broken."

"That's why we're here isn't it? To remind you that no matter what hydra did we'll love you. I get the broken part. Like something's missing."

"Yeah. My arm." Bucky laughed.

Natasha laughed along side him, "Okay well, have fun you two. Not too much fun, Natalia. Your bed time is six." She joked walking out.

Bucky sighed turning back to his daughter, "Where were we?"

Holding out the lion Natalia roared, or at least tried to.

He picked her up bringing her to his chest, fake falling backwards, "Oh no! Simba has attacked me! What ever shall I do?"

"I must save the fair princess no matter the cost!" He kept playing.

He tossed the lion to the side, placing Natalia on the ground, "Run princess run! Save yourself!" He said pretending to wrestle with the lion.

Natalia giggled clapping her hands.

"No princess you must run!" He said as she crawled over to him.

"Natty!" He whined, "You're not playing the game right!"

"None the matter! I will save you dear maiden!" He stood up with the child running out of the cabin.

He grinned as Natalia laughed.

"Enough of this foolishness! We must get to safety!" He shushed with his own small laugh.

Seeing Clint and Laura turning the corner into their hallway he got an idea.

He ran towards a hallway near by, "We must be quiet, Princes Natalia or else the evil guards will find us." He whispered tickling her belly.

Sneaking a peak to see how close the where he shushed Natalia.

A few seconds later he jumped out landing in front of them, "RAWR!" He shouted.

Natalia laughed pretending to roar.

An old lady let out a scream running away, yelling for help.

Bucky gasped, covering his mouth as he tried not to laugh.

"Oh no..." he whispered, "You do not tell anybody about this." He said to Natalia looking around for Clint and Laura.

Weird.

He shook his head trying to get back to the game seeing as Natalia was patiently waiting.

"We've scared off the guards! We must get to safety princess. Which direction should we go?" He asked.

Natalia pointed straight ahead and Bucky ran.

They ran around half the ship only skidding to a stop when Tony stood in front of them raising an eyebrow.

"Oh no. We've been caught." Bucky whispered.

"Some old woman was running for help. Something about a man and a baby attacking her. Know anything about that?" Tony asked.

"No idea. I've been playing with Natalia for the past hour. We were just running from Simba." Bucky answered.

"Ah-ey uny." Natalia giggled.

"Yeah your daddy is funny. Gave a poor old lady a heart attack." Tony added.

"It is not my fault she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. If you'll excuse me, we're running from the law." Bucky huffed running away.

They played for hours, Bucky running around the entire cruise ship while Natalia laughed.

They ran back into the cabin and Bucky jumped onto the bed.

"We made it!" He said as Natalia finally stopped laughing.

Steve knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Bucky called, "Play with your toys." He said to Natalia kissing her tiny nose as he stood up.

He opened the door walking in, "Hey. I heard you got attacked by a lion today." Steve smirked.

"Yeah. Had to save the princess. We attacked the bad guys didn't we Natalia?"

Natalia looked over throwing her elephant at them.

"You guys had fun."

Bucky nodded. He wrapped his arms around Steve, resting his head on his chest.

"What are you-"

"I just wanted a hug."

Steve smiled wrapping his arms around Bucky.

Natalia cried throwing a block.

Steve laughed letting go of Bucky and walking over to Natalia before she could throw a tantrum.


	6. Day 14-20: Guatemala and Mexico

"Good morning passengers! We have now arrived at Guatemala. Please remember to be back on board by midnight or we will be leaving without you." The announcers voice said.

Steve groaned getting out of bed. Two days sleeping alone. Firstly, Bucky insisted on taking the couch. Secondly, there was the issue that apparently Steve couldn't sleep alone anymore. Thanks a lot, Bucky.

He knocked on the bathroom door unsure where Bucky was.

"One minute! I'm finishing up here." Bucky answered.

He sighed to himself, ' _Steve won't care if you don't wear the arm. He's not going to leave you because you don't wear it one day.'_ He tried to convince himself.

He threw on a shirt, walking out.

Steve smiled at him walking into the bathroom.

' _Three... two..._ ' Bucky thought to himself.

Steve threw open the door eyes wide, "You're- you're not..." he stopped talking with a grin. All he cares was that Bucky walking out without the arm, willingly that is, is progress.

"Don't look at me like I'm Jesus doing some miracle my god, Steven." Bucky scoffed.

"I didn't think you'd not use the arm." Steve whispered.

"I know things are going to be harder one armed but Dr. Reed-Johnson said that it should help. Not wearing it. Normalize it." He explained with a shrug.

Steve nodded quickly closing the door. He smiled to himself. It was progress. And quite a bit of it given it had only been two days.

' _Okay_ ,' he thought to himself, ' _you can not show Bucky how happy his progress is making you. You don't want to make him uncomfortable or self conscious so he has to put it back on.'_

Bucky chuckled to himself. Maybe this wasn't the worst thing.

He walked over to Natalia carefully picking her up and taking her over to the high chair.

' _How am I going to do this?'_ He asked himself. He hadn't thought about what a hassle it would be trying to take care of a child when you only had one arm available.

After getting started on a bottle he took the time to read Natalia a story.

Steve quickly showered wanting to help Bucky as much as possible without getting too close or making him feel small.

"Need some help?" He asked.

Bucky shook his head, "Nah I got it."

"How about I give her a bath and get her ready while you finish the bottle?"

"Steve, I said I've got it."

"I know it's just-"

"You don't think I can do it."

' _Fuck_.'

"Of course I do. I just don't want you putting too much pressure on yourself so soon. It's been two days and I'm glad you're getting there but you don't need to do it alone."

Bucky looked down at the table. His intentions are good but why couldn't he understand that he did need to do it alone. He needed to be sure he could do it. That if he were to decide to wear the arm less he had to be able to take care of their child.

"I need to do this, Steve. And if it hurts you to sit back and watch then you should just go. I can't always ask for help."

"But you can! I'm always going to be here!"

' _Stop talking stop talking! What did we talk about? You don't back him into a corner!'_ Steve shouted to himself in his head. God it was like his mouth had a brain of its own.

"I still need to be able to do it. What if you go off on a mission?"

"I won't."

Bucky scoffed, "Steve come on at some point you're going to go back to missions."

"You go on missions too." Steve whispered.

He sighed. Ignoring Steve he grabbed the bottle handing it to Natalia along with a plastic bowl with a few pieces of baby cereal.

"I'll meet you at the dock in ten?" Steve asked realizing Bucky wasn't going to say anything.

Bucky nodded.

Sighing, Steve headed out to find the others.

He walked up to them and grabbed Natasha's arm pulling her to the side.

"Um hello?!" Natasha scoffed pulling her arm away.

"I fucked up." Steve whispered.

Natasha raised an eyebrow waiting for him to continue.

"I made him feel like he couldn't do anything because he wasn't wearing the arm?"

"Steve!" She whisper-shouted smacking his arm.

"It wasn't my fault! He wasn't letting me help and... I'm scared I really fucked up, Nat."

"I'm sure it will be fine. I mean you probably set him back to step one but I'm sure he'll be okay."

* * *

"Stop bouncing Natalia!" Bucky shouted trying to strap her into the stroller.

This was not working out.

' _Maybe you should just- no. You're not wearing the damn arm. You heard what your therapist said. You need to work on improving yourself.'_

He sighed kneeling down in front of her. 

"Natalia, honey, please let daddy strap you in so you don't fall out. I'm trying here but I need you to help me help you." He whispered.

Natalia bopped his face with her stuffed animal finally stopping her movements.

With a smile he strapped her in and they took off to find the others.

"Need some help?" Clint asked walking up behind him.

"Please. And don't tell Steve. I need him to think I can do this myself so that I can think the same." Bucky smiled handing him the bag.

"I could take the stroller if you prefer. I think Natalia is going to throw up." He laughed as Bucky swerved the stroller from side to side trying to maneuver it.

Bucky leaned over to check Natalia, guilt taking over, "I feel... this will take some practice but if I'm going to get comfortable with myself I need to be able to do it." He said, mostly talking to himself. At first he thought the whole 'I feel' exercise was stupid and pointless but it really helped when it came to getting to the route of the issue.

Clint raised an eyebrow confused and Bucky just shook his head.

"You're here great I was starting to get worried." Steve breathed when Bucky arrived.

"Yeah well we're on the seventh floor and Natalia didn't want to behave. It takes a minute." Bucky muttered walking past him.

' _Okay rude. It's not Steve's fault I hate myself. Maybe I should buy him a gift for when I apologize? That could work.'_

Steve sighed looking down at the ground, ' _Yep. It was going to be a long day.'_

* * *

"What's up with you and Rogers?" Tony asked.

"I freaked at him. I don't know how to apologize." Bucky shrugged.

"Well we're going to a volcano. You can pull some big romantic gesture. Propose?"

"We're already married."

Tony shrugged.

Sighing Bucky shook his head, "I'm not sure what to do. I hate the arm but I hate not having it. Steve doesn't care and neither does Natalia."

He laughed, "I told him I don't want sex until I'm better! When am I going to be better? I mean he's not going to wait forever. That could be a romantic gesture. Putting his needs before my own." He said nodding as if what he was saying would work.

"Sex isn't a romantic gesture. Especially not when you don't want it. He knows why you need space and time- why do you think he's not standing here next to you doing his best to help? He wants to give you the space you need to heal."

Bucky nodded. He was right. That was exactly what Steve was trying to do.

"How does a watch sound?" He asked, smiling.

Tony smiled, "I think it sounds great. Needs something to remind him what time it is."

Bucky laughed, "You guys get going. I'll meet you there I want to go find one." He said walking off.

"Where's he going?" Steve asked when Tony walked back over.

"He wanted to find something to help Natalia. She's teething right? I think that's what he mentioned." Tony lied.

"LILA! I need your help! Let's go!" Bucky yelled opening a store door.

Lila ran over, "Yes Bucky?"

"I want to buy Steve a gift. I'm thinking a watch. Can you help?"

* * *

They were all walking up the volcano.

Wanda walked over to Steve, "Where's Bucky?"

Steve shrugged, "We fought this morning. Haven't really talked since. He needed space so I'm trying to give it to him."

She nodded leaning against him.

Steve smiled, "Do you want to come to our cabin tonight? I want to watch a movie but if I ask Bucky I'll seem too clingy."

"I'd love to."

Steve grinned, "Natalia quit it." He said placing the baby down on the ground. She hadn't stopped moving since they started up the volcano. He had taken her out of the stroller in hopes of calming her down.

"Did you know you pinch yourself when you're stressed?" Wanda asked.

He looked down at his arm where he had been pinching, "Yeah it's either that or playing with my wedding... ring... where is it?" He asked not seeing it on his hand.

He looked around the ground. Where was it? He could not lose it again!

"Hey you probably just dropped it when we were coming up and if not it's probably back at the cabin. I'll go down and look. You check here." Wanda walked down the path trying to help.

' _Oh god oh god oh god this can't be happening. I can't lose it again!'_ He thought to himself looking around.

* * *

"Why a watch?" Lila asked as they looked through the jewelry store.

Bucky shrugged, "Has no sense of time. Plus he'll always wear it. I don't want to buy him something he'll just toss to the side."

"This one’s nice."

Walking over he saw the silver watch she was pointing to.

"Silver? Isn't there anything more... interesting?" He asked.

"Noted. You know I'm a child right?"

Bucky laughed, "Yes but I'm from the 19 hundreds so you're my best bet."

Lila rolled her eyes looking around.

"Can I help you?" A man asked.

"Apology gifts?" Bucky asked with a laugh.

"Cheat on a girlfriend?"

"Snapped at my husband. I lost my arm and usually use a prosthetic but something happened and I decided to not use itI snapped when he was just trying to help." He explained.

"Not sure a watch will be enough." The man joked.

Bucky smiled looking through the displays, "This is the one." He whispered pointing down at a simple round, gold watch.

"Good choice." The man said taking it out and placing it on the glass.

Bucky smiled picking it up. It was perfect. It was simple and elegant and Steve would love it.

Lila walked over to look at it, "Hey it's nice. A little simple but you could buy him chocolates too. Everyone loves chocolates."

"How much?" He asked ignoring Lila.

"$1,500."

"One thousand what? Dollars?"

"Well we have some cheaper watches if you'd prefer."

He shook his head taking out his card.

"Thank you." He smiled when the man handed it back and they walked out, "Coffee?"

"Please?"

Bucky laughed and they walked into a Starbucks, "Two chocolate chip frappes and a vanilla bean. Do you want something to eat?"

"Nah."

"Two birthday cake cake pops and two lemon pound cakes then." He finished ordering.

"Steve loves those." He explained.

He handed her her Frappuccino grabbing a bag with the food and both his and Steve's drinks.

* * *

Still unable to find the ring he sat down on the ground with a groan. Bucky would kill him for losing his wedding ring.

He had no clue how it even happened. Maybe he had fiddled around with it so much it fell off without him noticing.

_'Where is Natalia?'_ He wondered looking around. Set a crawling baby down. Who on earth thought that was a good idea? If Bucky didn't kill him for the ring he'd kill him for losing their child.

"Natalia!" He yelled.

Natalia looked over at him but kept crawling away.

He sighed getting up to go after her.

"Natalia, honey, this is dangerous and your hands are going to hurt." He said trying to grab her, "Just let papa carry you for a bit I promise you can show off your crawling skills later."

Natalia turned towards him before continuing to crawl away.

_'If I pick her up she'll cry.'_ Steve thought trying to figure out what to do when he noticed something in her hand.

"Natalia what do you have?" He asked. Honestly he had no clue why he expected an answer.

He picked her up and she let out a cry dropping the object in her hand.

Steve groaned wanting to cover his eyes as he watched the ring fall down. Well there was definitely no finding that now.

He shushed Natalia strapping her back into the stroller, "Natalia you don't take things and you don't run off either. I get you want to crawl and that's fine but I can't have you falling or getting lost. That ring is replaceable but you aren't." He explained, wiping her tiny hands clean off any dirt.

Bucky ran up to them.

Steve stood up worried something had happened, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked stopping himself from reaching out.

He shook his head, "I am sorry. You were just trying to help this morning and I went off on you. I shouldn't have done it." He apologized.

"You don't have to apologize. I should be the one apologizing."

He took the watch out of his pocket holding it out to Steve.

"You didn't deserve that. I didn't think an apology would be enough. Do you like it?"

Steve smiled. This wasn't necessary but he couldn't turn it down.

"I love it." He whispered.

He looked like a little kid on Christmas and all Steve wanted to do was hug him.

Bucky stepped closer helping put the watch on Steve's wrist.

"It looks grea-" he stopped talking as he looked down at Steve's hand. He was missing something. Not just something, he was missing his wedding ring.

He looked up, hurt in his eyes. He took it off?

"What's wrong?" Steve asked trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

' _He took his wedding ring off._ ' Bucky thought to himself.

"You forgive me don't you? Tell me you forgive me. Please. Forgive me." He said voice strained in an effort not to panic.

"I already told you I do. There's nothing to forgive anyways. I overstepped." Steve answered confused.

Bucky shook his head. No. It can't be over. He refused.

"You didn't. You're my husband. You're my husband you can't overstep. You can do whatever the hell you want because you're my husband and you'll always be my husband. I shouldn't have freaked out I know that now; I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it- you have to understand." He wanted to scream. To get down on his knees and beg him not to leave. He couldn't fix himself now with Steve's help he sure as hell wouldn't be able to do it alone. At least with Steve he had something worth fighting for.

Steve stared in shock trying to process what had just been said, "Bucky I'm worried you're going to have a panic attack and usually I would hug you and hold you until you calmed down but you asked me not to touch you so I'm not sure what to do." He spoke slowly.

Okay so he was right except for the part that Bucky didn't know what to do either.

"Water. I- get me a bottle of water. Please. It's just really hot out." Bucky whispered pulling at the collar of his shirt trying to keep his breathing regular.

"Okay. Okay. Just sit down. I will be right back." Steve promised hurrying off.

Bucky walked over to the bench sitting down and placing his head between his knees.

_'He said he forgives me but if that's the case why did he take his ring off?_ ' Bucky wondered trying to calm down enough as to not have a panic attack.

_'He wouldn't tell me he's leaving me by showing me he took his ring off. I'm being stupid. But what if he did? What if he didn't know how to tell me so he took it off in hopes of me realizing it and leaving him. Or what if he told me and I just didn't hear? Oh god he told me he was going to leave me didn't he?!'_

Lila walked over tapping his shoulder, "Are you okay, Bucky?" She asked.

He shook his head, "I'm fine. Don't worry, kid."

Steve came back with a bottle of water sitting down next to him.

Bucky lifted his head grabbing the water, "Thanks." He whispered.

Steve nodded waiting for Bucky to finish before asking, "Better?"

He didn't answer Steve's question, "You're my best friend."

"Thank you?" Steve answered.

"It sucks because sometimes I need to talk to my best friend and not my husband but I can't.

"Of course you can."

"I just want to go back to New York." He said.

Steve nodded, "Okay. I can buy us some plane tickets."

"No!"

_'Oh. He doesn't want me around_.' Steve thought looking away.

"Do you not want me to go?" He asked.

"Yes and no."

He scoffed standing up, "You can't just say yes and no! What am I meant to do, Bucky? You need to tell me what you want!"

"I don't know what I want! I can't be alone but I can't have you helping me all the time! I feel helpless and useless and... weak. I feel weak."

"You need to figure out what you need before I can help. I'm sorry you feel weak and like you can't do anything but Bucky we can't figure this out unless you know what we need to figure out."

Bucky wanted to scream at him that he already knew that.

He got up and started walking away after grabbing the stroller.

"Where are you going?" Steve called after him.

"Back to the ship!" Bucky shouted back.

* * *

He walked into the cabin and placed Natalia on the bed, pacing around.

Natalia giggled, "Ah-ey uh-ey." She blabbered.

"No. No I am not funny. I am not joking around, Natalia. Papa is leaving me and there's nothing I can do about it." Bucky said pointing at her.

Sighing he grabbed the blocks pouring them onto the bed.

He watched the baby play with the toys building it up.

He smiled patting her head, "I don't know what I'll do when he goes away."

Natalia looked up knocking his hand into her face.

He laughed moving his hand, "Sorry honey."

She crawled over to him knocking down the tower of foam blocks.

Bucky laughed, "What are you doing baby girl?"

She sat up falling on her back.

He sighed helping her so she would be sitting.

She blew a raspberry and held her arms out.

With a laugh he picked her up, "I love you too. Come on you need a bath."

He left her on the bed going to get the bath ready and put on the metal arm.

Looking down at his hand he sighed twisting the ring around. Well if Steve didn't want to tell him he was going to take it off then he wouldn't either. He would wait for Steve to ask him for if.

He walked back over picking her up and taking her into the bathroom.

He placed her in the baby tub grabbing the bottles of soap and shampoo.

Natalia held her hands out for the sponge.

He raised an eyebrow holding it out, "This what you want, Natty?"

She nodded head falling back.

Laughing he handed her the sponge.

She giggled splashing around as Bucky washed her hair. He dropped a dollop of soap into the bath so as she splashed around bubbles would appear.

The door opened and he jumped waiting for a voice.

"Steve?" He asked as the silence dawned.

"No it's Laura."

"Oh." He sighed closing his eyes, "I'm giving Natalia a bath you can come in." He called.

Laura nodded to herself walking into the bathroom.

"Why aren't you with the others?" Laura asked.

"Bad day. You?"

"I didn't feel like climbing a volcano." She laughed.

"Bah bah?" Natalia asked splashing towards Bucky.

"Papa is still at the volcano honey. He'll be back later. Close your eyes." Bucky explained pouring water over her head to wash the soap away.

Natalia stuck her tongue out scrunching up her nose as the shampoo ran down her face.

Laughing Bucky took the sponge away to wash her face, "Sorry."

Laura laughed, "For a seven month old she's very advanced."

"I blame Steve. I don't know why but I do."

"I think you should take him to your next appointment. I mean it's none of my business but if he hears what you have to say."

Bucky shook his head, "I'll talk to him but he can't go. Not until I'm ready for him to hear. He took his ring off. Until he's ready to say it to my face he doesn't get to sit in on this."

She nodded, "They should be back in a few hours. Want me to stay?"

Shrugging he grabbed a towel, taking Natalia out of the tub and drying her off.

"You want your little onesie? The little duckie? Or the bear? I think papa bought you a dragon one too."

"Woaw!" Natalia giggled her fake roar.

"Dragon it is!" Bucky laughed walking away to find it.

He came back with a pinkish purple dragon onesie picking her up once she was dressed.

"My little princess." He smiled kissing her cheek.

"Want to watch My Little Pony?" He asked Laura, "She enjoys it and it isn't half bad."

Laura laughed, "You mean you like it and she suffers through it." She said following him over to the living room where he was setting up the episode.

* * *

"No no I'm serious! He takes the hawk part too seriously!" Laura laughed. They had watched three episodes before starting to talk.

"How so?"

"Okay this one time he had been spending so much time in the barn so I went to check what it was and there was a nest."

"He built a nest?!"

"Full of pillows and blankets. That's how I learned he had been sneaking off every night."

Steve walked in knocking on the wall to make his presence known, "Can I come in?" He asked.

Bucky shrugged his one shoulder, he had taken the arm off during one of the earlier episodes, "It's your place do what you want." He muttered refusing to look at him.

"I'll just go. You guys seem busy." Steve whispered looking down at the ground as he went to walk away.

"Ah Ah!" Natalia said reaching out for Steve.

Steve looked over at her before at Bucky, silently asking if it was okay.

He waved his hand as if telling him to go ahead.

Steve faked a smile picking up their child, "That's right. Papa's back. Did you have fun with Daddy?"

She blew a raspberry as her answer.

Bucky looked at Laura as if begging her to stay. He didn't want to hear Steve say he was leaving him.

Laura looked at him apologetically as she stood, "I am going to go find my husband. I had a nice time, Bucky." She said walking out. Boy did those two need to talk.

"So..." Steve started.

"If you're going to say it just say it! I can't take it anymore!" Bucky snapped standing up, "I'm a waste of space, time, and effort."

Steve gaped at him.

He scoffed taking Natalia away, "She needs a diaper change. Or would you like to do that yourself, too?"

He shook his head.

"Stay still. I need to prove I can do this to show that I am not a waste of space or time!" Bucky growled grabbing the diaper bag.

_'Fuck life. Fuck Steve. Fuck diapers! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!_ ' He wanted to scream.

He stopped looking down at Natalia.

"Oh my god." He whispered laughing.

"Oh my god I did it!" He shouted running out.

He looked around for Steve before jumping into his arms still laughing, "I did it! I did it!" He squealed pulling away still grabbing onto him.

"You did?" Steve asked.

"I changed her diaper with one hand!"

He was smiling like crazy, _'I did it.'_ He let go stepping away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"What for? You're doing such a great job, Bucky. Look at how happy you are." Steve grinned grabbing his hand.

Bucky shook his head, "But I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be happy about this when- when you're leaving me." He stuttered.

He looked at him confused before pulling him into a hug. That's why he had been acting so weird, "I'm not leaving you. And I know you don't want me touching you but until you realize I won't leave I'm not letting go."

He broke down in Steve's arms letting him hold him as he cried, "Well if you're not leaving me mabye you shouldn't take your damn ring off. We aren't communicating well enough." He said wiping his face.

Steve couldn't help but laugh as he pulled away, "I didn't take it off. Natalia pulled it off my finger and dropped it before I could notice."

"She- Natalia!" Bucky sniffled turning around.

"I wanted to replace if before you noticed. You should've said something." Steve whispered grabbing his hand and running his finger over his knuckles.

Bucky pulled his hand away looking up at Steve apologetically, "I'm sorry. I'm not ready for you to touch me." He whispered.

" _You_ jumped on _me_." Steve whispered looking down at where Bucky had let go of his hand.

"And that was a mistake on my part. I'm not there yet, Steve. I don't want you to leave but I can't speed up the process past where I'm capable of being." He tried to explain. Of course Steve was hurt. He would be too.

"I know it's just a process. It's hard. I can't sleep alone anymore. I'm used to sleeping with you next to me and holding me. I just miss you- miss us."

He was hurting him. He didn't want to but he was, "I have an appointment. Can you watch Natalia?" Bucky whispered as he grabbed the computer walking away unable to stay there looking at the hurt on Steve’s face. 

"Are you at least going to sleep in our bed tonight?!" Steve shouted.

"Go to hell!" Bucky scoffed slamming the door.

* * *

"He's purposefully being an asshole, Addy! I don't know what to do!" Bucky said to the therapist on the FaceTime call as he paced around.

She nodded still dotting notes down on the paper.

"What the hell are you writing?!" He snapped.

"Just some doodles." She smirked turning the page.

Whining he slumped back into the chair, "He loses his ring and doesn't tell me what am I meant to believe?" He asked.

"I think you're meant to trust his word."

"Rhetorical. Rephrase."

Questionable would be the best word to describe how Bucky was acting.

"To recap, Steve lost his ring and you freaked out."

"Yes."

"And then he asked you to sleep with him... actually sleep not sex because we already talked about how you shouldn't be having sex."

"I know I know! It sucks by the way." Bucky scoffed.

"So you screamed at him to, and I quote, go to hell."

"Not my best moment."

She nodded, "You think?"

He groaned spinning in the chair, "It's just- I can't have sex because I'm meant to be working on myself and being able to be comfortable around Steve and just people in general. If I sleep in the same bed as him something's going to happen and I'm going to have to start from step 1 all over again. I have no self control."

"There's sex therapy." The therapist muttered not thinking Bucky would hear.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

She shook her head, "I don't condone or recommend it, James. Especially not for you given the reason you're here!"

He let out a small "Huh" pretending to listen.

' _Sex therapy... now that’s a new one. One I could get behind.’_

"How exactly does that work?"

* * *

He just slammed the door! He told him to go to hell, slammed the door, and left! The son of a bitch!

He was about to go after him when Natalia started crying.

Right. He can't just leave his kid alone.

Walking back to the bathroom he picked Natalia up walking around the room to calm her down, "I know honey and I am so so sorry. Papa and Daddy don't ever want to fight in front of you." He whispered kissing her head.

Never. He refused to ever fight in front of his child. It's harder given she can't say anything yet so it's easy to forget she's there.

_'I have got to work on that._ ' He thought to himself.

He love Bucky he really did and he would never lay a hand on him but he knew what growing up around fighting parents did to children.

"Sometimes Daddy and I are going to fight but it does not mean we're going to break up or leave or ever ever _ever_ lay a hand on each other and we will never lay a hand on you either, Natalia. That I can promise." He said as she stopped crying.

He would wait for him to get back.

Sitting down on the bed with Natalia he opened up the camera roll on his phone to show her the pictures.

"Who's that?" He whispered showing her a picture of Sam.

"Oo Ah!" She laughed.

"Yeah it’s Uncle Sam! What about him?" He switched to the next picture with Tony.

"Oo Oh-Ey!"

Laughing Steve changed the picture, "And her?"

"Ah-ey Ah-ba."

"Auntie Nat. Look at how good you're doing. You're so big but it feels like you were just born yesterday, baby. " He coo'd kissing his cheek over and over again until she was squealing.

Bucky walked into the room, "Can I have Natalia? I wanted to play with her a bit." He whispered.

"No. It's my turn. You had her basically all day." Steve scoffed.

"Don't say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like we're in the middle of a divorce and fighting over custody of our daughter!" He shouted.

"Seeing as you won't even let me hold your hand it sure seems like it." Steve muttered standing up, "Take her. I'm going to shower."

Bucky looked down at the ground as Steve walked away. He was fucking everything up and soon enough he would ruin his marriage.

' _Okay but if I can put aside everything for an hour at most... maybe I can try and salvage what's left? Sex won't_ really _bring me back to step one will it? Who knows it might help! You've put your mind away before... just do it with... Steve_.' It made him sick to even think that the only thing he could do to make sure Steve didn't leave him was what he had done for Hydra so many times before. Steve needed help too and he was making it all about himself. It was the least he could do.

Gulping, he set Natalia down in the crib.

"Take a little nap, sweetie." He whispered, goosebumps pricking his skin. If he could do it for people he hated he could do it once for the man he loved. 

Walking into the bathroom he closed the door.

' _You can do this. It's for Steve. And who knows? Maybe it counts as sex therapy and will help.'_ He tried convincing himself. Who was he kidding? He didn't even believe it.

He stepped into the shower, dropping to his knees.

Steve sighed.

Assuming a shampoo bottle had just fallen he turned around to pick it up, instead finding Bucky, "What the hell are you doing?!" He shouted.

"I'm going to make you feel good." Bucky whispered running his hands up Steve's calves pulling him closer with a deep breath, "Or at least try to."

Steve pulled away stepping further from Bucky,"Stand up!"

"I don't understand. You got mad at me for not sleeping with you so I'm- I'm trying and you're still mad." Bucky mumbled, "Is it the arm? I can- I can put a shirt on. I'll never take my shirt off around you if that's what's wrong. I have it right here."

He hurried to his feet stepping out, grabbing his shirt and pulling it on, "See? All good now. I can do it. I can do this. It's what you want."

"I want you to get better." Steve said as he grabbed the towel stepping out, "I want you to sleep in the same bed as me not have sex. The fact you think I'd ever fucking... _use_ you like that. I don't know what to think, Bucky." He whispered walking out.

"No. No! This was meant to be what made you not leave me!" Bucky cried hurrying to the bathroom door once he finished getting dressed.

"I'm never leaving you, Bucky!" Steve snapped, "I'm sleeping on the couch so maybe you can sleep and get that through your thick skull! I am never leaving and I hate having the same fight!" He shouted slamming the door between the living room and the bedroom.

* * *

Not much happened the day after both still overly pissed with each other.

Bucky walked up to the front desk, "Do you-" he lowered his voice looking around, "Do you sell cigarettes?"

God help him if Steve was there he'd only piss him off further.

"Yeah." The man at the desk said grabbing a pack and putting it on the table.

"Thanks." He whispered paying and walking away.

He was walking back to the cabin when he saw Sam. Turning to try and get away he heard Sam call at him.

' _Keep walking!'_

"BARNES!" Sam shouted again.

Bucky kept walking pretending not to have heard.

"Barnes-Rogers!" He shouted again.

Well now he really had to stop.

Turning around he shoved the pack into his pocket walking towards him, "Sorry. Didn't hear you."

Sam shook his head. He was not going to ask what he had in his pocket. Knowing his luck it would be a pack of condoms.

"Did you need something?" Bucky asked.

"Where's Steve? I haven't seen him all day."

He shrugged looking around trying to find an out.

Sam followed his eyes, "Are you guys okay?"

Bucky scoffed, "Don't act like you give two flying fucks about me." He said pushing past him.   
  


Sam grabbed his arm to stop him.   
  


He gasped, the cigarettes dropping from his pocket.   


“You’re smoking?”   
  


“Don’t worry about it okay? Just don’t tell Steve. They’re prescribed anyways.”   
  


“So are your antidepressants.”   
  


“And I’m taking those two! Leave me alone okay? Just fuck off!” He snapped picking up the pack and pulling his arm away. 

Getting to the cabin he walked to the balcony lighting one of the cigarettes.

The door opened and he dropped the cigarette to the ground quickly putting it out, making a self note to clean it up.

"Steve?" He asked turning around.

"I brought dinner. I'm going to wash up and we can eat." Steve answered tossing the boxes onto the table and heading to the bathroom.

He deserved to be spoken to. He deserved to know what was happening in his husbands life!

They ate in silence both wondering what to say.

"How was your day?" Bucky asked, pushing his food around with his fork.

"Fine. Natalia really wanted to crawl today so we played a game." Steve answered smiling slightly, "Y-yours?"

"Good. I uh I just spent the day with Tony. He's trying something out with the arm. And therapy is good. Addy- Doctor Reed-Johnson- she says I'm doing a lot better. As long as I stay on my meds and keep going to therapy I may actually get better. Not a hundred percent but... I’m aiming for seventy." He smiled laughing slightly. 

Steve nodded taking a bite of his food, "I'm pissed at you."

"I know. I'm trying. I really am, Stevie." He whispered trying to grab his hand.

Steve pulled away, "I hate you thinking I'm going to leave. You're stuck with me, Bucky and it hurts every time you say it. Unless you can hold my hand for more than three seconds I don't want it."

Bucky nodded. He understood.  
  


"I just don't understand why you're fine around Tony or Sam but when it comes to me... Bucky I'm your fucking husband." He whispered, "Shouldn't you be fine around me?"

He hadn't thought of it that way. God it was true too, he had spent the day with Tony just fine but he could barely even talk to Steve.

Thinking carefully about Steve's question he answered, "When it comes down to it.. if they don't like me? I still have you. If you don't like me? I lose everything."

"But it's not true because say I do stop loving you, as impossible as it sounds, you'll still be my best friend."

"For how long? How long until you kick me out? How long until you start dating again? How long until you introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your "best friend"? How long until you take my daughter away from me? How long until you have a child you actually wanted? How long are you still going to be around me knowing how I feel because my feelings aren't going to go away! How long until instead of finding my attraction to you, appealing and hot, you find it disgusting and sick? Because I am sick, Steve. Not because I’m gay but because I’m sick in the head. I’m riddled with PTSD and depression and anxiety- I jump sometimes when I see Tony. Tony! You have it too but yours is under more control. I don’t know how you do it.” 

Steve scoffed, "Why does it matter if we're not going to break up?"

"Because you made a dumbass comment about how we're fighting like we're about to get divorced! Because you think if we did we'd share custody over Natalia!" He shouted.

He didn't mean to shout that was the last thing he wanted at the moment. God damnit she was his daughter too. If he lost one of them he lost them both.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to yell." He whispered.

Steve nodded.

Finishing his food he stood up. After washing his plate and changing into his pajamas he stood at the door patiently, "Are you sleeping in the bed tonight?" He asked trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

"Couch."

"Okay. We land in Mexico tomorrow. I don't think I'll leave the ship so if you want to take Natalia just send me a text or leave me a note so I don't freak out."

Bucky chuckled, nodding to let him know he'd do so.

Steve looked around unsure what to do, "Goodnight." He said walking to bed.

"Night." Bucky whispered as Steve closed the door.

"Ah-ah!" Natalia called.

Steve smiled picking her up, "You want me to sing you to sleep?" He asked.

She smiled at him.

He laughed, "Your grandma apparently used to sing me to sleep with this song. Never stopped talking about it."

"Come, let's go to bed, says sleepy-head,

Let's stay awhile, says slow,

Put on the pot, says greedy-gut,

We'll sup before we go." He whisper/sang kissing the baby's forehead as she fell asleep.

Sighing, Steve crawled into bed grabbing the pillow. He closed his eyes, no matter how long they slept apart he still didn't like it.

Bucky stood by the closed door a small smile on his face listening to Steve.

He wanted to go in. To crawl into bed next to Steve and have him hold him while he sleeps. The feeling of knowing he could go in if he felt he was ready was worse then when he was keeping his feelings secret.

* * *

Steve woke up the next morning with a smile. It may have taken him three hours to fall asleep but given his dream it was sure worth it.

He sighed sitting up. Checking the door was closed and Natalia was still asleep he played with his waist band thinking to himself.

_'I mean..._ technically _Bucky's always the one telling me to do it. Plus it's not like it's my fault he was going down on me right? Even if it was in my head.'_

Okay so he knew that wasn't how it worked.

He groaned, he was going to feel guilty about this after.

Pushing his hand into his boxers he pulled a face taken a back, ' _No. Oh come on! What are you a fourteen year old boy who can't keep it under control? Couldn't wait to wake up to cum?_ ' He scoffed getting out of bed.

' _This is what I get for only wearing boxers. I need new sheets. Before Bucky wakes up too!'_

He was about to take the covers off the bed when he remembered the boxers now sticking to him, ' _Okay, maybe change first.'_

Bucky knocked on the bedroom door, "Steve? What's all the ruckus?" He yawned hearing a thud.

"Nothing!" Steve called squirming on the ground as he tried to get his pants on.

' _These aren't even mine goddamnit Bucky! Why do you need such tight pants?'_ He huffed grabbing his own holdings Bucky's pair up, _'Where the hell does everything go?! There's no way everything fits comfortably unless you're sitting on your dick. Ouch.'_

He shook his head trying to stay on track. He grabbed the sheets and opened the door not expecting Bucky to be standing directly in front of him.

"Where are you going in such a rush?" He asked looking at the sheets in Steve's arm like it would give him some clue.

"Did you piss yourself?" He asked unable to help his smirk.

"Wha- no! I- I spilt orange juice and didn't want you to kill me! Why is your first thought that I pissed myself? What if... I don't know I left Natalia on the bed without a diaper?"

"Because It's more likely for you to piss yourself." Bucky laughed.

Steve scoffed pushing past him and out the front door to go to the laundry room.

"You've done it before too." Bucky called.

"I was dying of pneumonia!" Steve shouted.

Rolling his eyes Bucky walked into the room waking Natalia up, "Good morning princess." He smiled turning on the tv to The Lion King.

He set her down on the bed to watch as he got her clothes ready humming along to the song.

"Well I've never seen a king or beast with quite so little hair." He mocked putting a headband on Natalia to keep her hair out of her face.

"Waow!" Natalia growled with Simba.

He laughed, "That's far a rather... an inspiring thing."

"Oh I just cant wait to be king!!" He sang walking into the bathroom to turn on the water.

"No ones saying do this." He sang popping his head out so Natalia would laugh.

"No ones saying be there." He kept singing going up to her and picking her up.

"Ba oh ah ab. Oh ah ay e ear." Natalia babbled.

He laughed dancing around like the dork he was.

"If this is where the monarchy is heading count me out out of service out of Africa I wouldn't hang about!" He said changing her from her pajamas into a dress before placing her on the ground.

He danced around as he got dressed, "Everywhere you look I'm standing spot light!" He sang as he fixed his hair in the mirror.

"OH I JUST CANT WAAAAAAAIIIIIT TO BE KIIIIIING!" He finished sliding his shoes on and pulling his jacket on.

He laughed sighing as he looked up. His face dropped as he saw the others standing at the door, "How- how long where you guys standing there?" He asked his face heating up.

"We didn't want to interrupt the show. Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay and do karaoke with the baby?" Wanda asked picking Natalia up off the ground.

"Steve listens to Taylor Swift!"

"Why?!" Steve shouted from behind everyone.

"I'm sorry they were being mean! And watching me change. Perverts."

Steve rolled his eyes walking into the room, "Are you guys going to go or just stay here and pout?"

"Someone's cranky." Tony muttered.

Natasha laughed, "Okay everyone out I'll talk to him." She said pushing everyone out of the cabin.

"That goes for you too Buck."

He nodded, "I- we'll talk later." He whispered to Steve before walking out.

Natasha sat down on the bed, "Where are your sheets?" She laughed.

"I'm horny! I am so horny it's not funny!" Steve blurt out covering his mouth as soon as the words left his mouth.

"O-okay? I'm confused you have a husband."

"We can't have sex because I don't want to ruin his progress. What if we do it and he has another attack? I can't risk it. So I'm dying in my own... _dirty_... _selfish._.. filth." He spat.

"I really hope you mean your mind and not something else."

Steve scoffed.

"You know you have a computer if you're that desperate."

"I'm not going to watch two people have fake and overdramatized sex!"

"You're two super soldiers what could be more overdramatized?!" Natasha asked as she stood up.

"I'm going. I'm sure you'll find a way to entertain yourself." She added as she walked out.

* * *

She smiled as she met the others at the port, "James." She said, the innuendo clear in her voice.

He looked around laughing nervously, "Natasha I- I really love you but i-" he laughed again.

"I'm gay. And married. With a child. I really am sorry because you're one of my best friends but I will gladly help you find someone." He whispered placing his hands on her arms looking at her with pity.

Natasha smacked him across the face, "Fuck you! I'm not hitting on you! I love Natalia and I worked my ass off to get you and Steve together! How dare you!" She screeched storming away.

"Sorry?!" He called, "Maybe don't make innuendos at me then!"

Sam was laughing a few feet away, "You got slapped by Natasha!"

He scoffed walking over and whacking Sam over the head, "Let's go, Wilson. My husband is ignoring me because I joked that he pissed the bed this morning so you're buying me a taco."

* * *

Steve paced around the room, "Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to do it. Your daddy specifically asked me not to think of him in that way so... doing that is like a breach in his privacy because I would be thinking of him while looking at pictures of him or maybe watching a video of us. It's inappropriate and I can't do it."

Natalia babbled building a tower with her foam blocks.

"Plus im watching you! I can't... do _that_ with you here!"

A knock came from the door along with a woman's voice saying "Room service!"

"Hallelujah!" He laughed running towards the door and opening it, "Good morning! Oh you don't have to. I'll just take the sheets. I'm bored out of my mind."

"You know we are in Mexico."

"My daughter was teething all night. I decided to stay here with her." He lied grabbing the sheets.

"Thank you." He added before closing the door.

He picked Natalia up off the bed placing her in her crib as he started fixing the bed.

He sighed grabbing his phone and lying down on the bed.

"Bah bah." Natalia blabbered throwing her toy at him.

"I'm not going to do it I swear!" Steve scoffed throwing it back as he opened his messages with Bucky.

_'I am just looking to see if he has sent me any pictures. Who knows? Maybe he saw something he wants to send me._ ' He thought to himself mas he scrolled.

* * *

3 hours later

Bucky checked his phone again.

"What is going on with you?" Wanda asked.

He looked over at her confused, "Huh? Oh Steve's been typing for like three hours now but hasn't sent anything."

"How do you know?"

"Because I got a notification saying he was typing and the bubbles haven't gone away."

She nodded.

He sighed, "When are we getting off this ship? I get the kids wanted to go see whales but I want to go see why my husband is writing me a book."

* * *

Steve groaned throwing his phone to the side standing up.

He grabbed the laptop opening up iCloud and logging into his phone.

"I'm sorry, Natty." He whispered picking her up and walking out.

"You're back!" He shouted when he saw Clint.

"Yeah Tony fell off the boat and sent everyone back." Clint answered.

Steve nodded over and over, "I don't care. Watch Natalia for an hour and have Natasha distract Bucky I need to jerk off." He admitted handing him the baby.

"You need to what?!" Clint shouted as Steve ran off still not realizing what he had said.

"Was that my husband?" Bucky asked walking over.

Clint nodded staring after Steve.

Laughing Bucky waved his hand in front of his face, "Everything okay, Barton?"

Seeing as he still wasn't answering Bucky rolled his eyes walking away. He would grab an apple or something before heading to the cabin.

Steve jumped onto the bed grabbing the laptop and starting to look for the video.

"Come on! We recorded it I know we did! We've recorded multiple just show me one of them!" He begged as he looked for it.

"Bingo!" He laughed finding it clicking on the video.

"Oh oh god!" The moans came from the screen and he quickly lowered the volume.

He groaned watching the video. God if it was hot being there it was just as hot watching it. Although the camera angle was a little awkward. They’d have to fix that. 

He flushed watching himself squirm and beg.

' _Was I really that desperate?'_ He wondered lightly palming himself.

Bucky opened the cabin door finding the room door closed. ' _Weird_.' He thought to himself walking over.

He was about to open it when he heard moaning.

He looked at the door before down at the ground, "Oh." He whispered faking a smile. He didn't care if no one could see him if he didn't force himself to smile he would cry.

Leaning closer to the door he listened for any hint that it was porn and not some other person in there with his husband.

He gnawed at his bottom lip contemplating going in before finally opening the door.

Seeing the door fly open Steve quickly shut the laptop and grabbed the covers to pull over his lap, "What the hell?!" He yelled.

Bucky looked around as if checking to make sure there was no one else in there.

"Did you just give up on us ever having sex again?" He asked.

"What?"

"Are you- are you sleeping with other people?" He asked again trying to keep his eyes on Steve.

"No! Why would I be sleeping with other people?" Steve asked his face bright red.

"So you just gave up on us ever having sex again and finally gave in to porn. I mean the least you could do is at least watch gay porn! Do you want to be with a woman? Is that why you're watching straight porn? You realized you aren't gay? You aren't attracted to me anymore? It’s okay if you’re not. I’m not exactly... sexy. I’m desperate and clingy and annoying. I know there are men who look better then me too. But if you’re no longer attracted to me for whatever reason...” 

"That wasn't... it wasn't porn. Or straight." Steve mumbled.

Bucky raised an eyebrow confused.

"It was you and me okay?! I was horny and I'm sorry because you asked me not to think of you that way but I love you and you're my husband and god damnit I am as horny as a teenager so if you can't help I'm going to jerk off!" Steve snapped face burning.

Bucky opened his mouth to talk before turning around and walking out. He closed the door before knocking.

"Come in?" Steve said confused and Bucky walked back in.

"Would you like me to leave so you can finish?" He asked smirking slightly.

Steve threw one of the pillows at his husband who was laughing at him.

"I-" he looked down at the bed embarrassed, "I didn't even get to really start."

Still laughing Bucky crawled onto the bed pushing Steve over to the side and taking the laptop.

"Let's see what you were watching shall we?" He smirked.

"Bucky!" Steve whined trying to take the laptop away.

"Oh wow that looks hot." Bucky said as he looked at the video where it had been paused. He loved the tab over to the side before looking at Steve.

"You have an entire file of just our sex tapes and the dirty pictures I've sent you?" He asked as he pressed play on the video.

"Ooh I really enjoyed that." He whispered elbowing Steve who was still trying to hide his face.

"You should really see this. It looks like you enjoy me eating your-" he started when Steve let out a squeak turning into the bed to hide his face in the pillows.

Lord help him this was worse then he could have imagined.

_'Bet if my Ma found me doing this she wouldn't even give me this hard of a time._ ' He thought to himself. God and he was still hard too!

"Stevie don't you want to watch? Just because I'm here doesn't mean you have to stop."

"No thank you." Steve mumbled.

Bucky looked over his smirk failing, "I- I'll leave. I'm sorry. I just thought... I made a mistake here. This one is on me. I made you uncomfortable in a way you don't enjoy. You were already twenty minutes into the video and you also said you hadn't even gotten started yet which means I can only assume you weren't even hard which means... you _really_ aren't attracted to me anymore. I mean I had thought even if you weren’t into me that way anymore you’d still get hard watching it. If you’re really as horny as you say and I’m not doing it for you anymore...” He said his voice wavering.

"I- you won't believe me but I promise I wasn't trying to make you... I'm sorry you're no longer attracted to me. Watch straight porn or watch gay porn," he laughed, "I'll knock from now on. And I'm also sorry for getting so close. I’ll make sure to stay six feet away at all times.” He added getting off the bed leaving the laptop where he had been sitting.   
  


“I- when you do want me coming near you again I- it won’t do it for me but I’m willing to make some sacrifices. I’ll figure myself out after but if it does it for you I could... do you want me to wear panties or something? I’m not into that but... sacrifices.” He rushed out hurrying to the door. 

Steve groaned flipping over to his back.

"Bucky!" He called.

Bucky stopped looking over at him with a sigh, "I really am... Wow." He whispered his eyes going towards Steve's hard on.

"I'm hard." Steve laughed as if it wasn’t obvious, “And embarrassed at having been caught. Which if anything has made me harder which in turn is embarrass- it’s an entire cycle of embarrassment and horniness.” 

Bucky let out a mewl hurrying back into the bed and grabbing the computer turning it on and turning up the volume. _'So maybe not sex yet but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun.'_

"Yeah? You like it when I embarrass you Stevie? You like me humiliating you? Get you all hard and needy squirming knowing you should want to escape but really just want to keep it happening." He asked.

Steve groaned going to hide again when Bucky crawled on top of him to hold him in place his face turning against the pillow, "Why do you keep hiding that pretty face from me?" He whispered as if he didn't know the answer pinning Steve's hands down with his knees as he turned the screen so Steve could watch.

"Buck I thought-"

"We're not having sex today. That doesn't change the fact I love to tease you. Do you have a problem with it?" He asked as he pushed his knees down on his arms.

Steve shook his head no.

"Oh god that looks... I really want to do that again and look at how well you take me Stevie." He whispered in his ear with a grin his hand running through his hair.

"And not just me either there's an entire other cock right there. Plastic or not it's still pretty big. Bigger then me I bet. You want that? Two cocks fucking into your sweet, tight ass?"

Steve whined, his hips thrusting into the mattress.

Bucky chuckled pulling Steve's hair and turning his head to the screen where he was moaning and begging.

He smirked seeing Steve's eyes glaze over.

Getting off of Steve he sighed fixing his clothes.

"You are very welcome. I'll be back in an hour and be sure to knock. I'm sure you and your hand have a busy day ahead. Enjoy your date." He said walking out, his hips swinging to make sure Steve's eyes were on him.

Steve groaned dropping his head yet again pulling a vibrator out of the bedside table.

* * *

Bucky took a seat next to Tony at the living room area of the ship, "Where is everyone?"

"Wanda and Pep are at the pool, Sam and Natasha are at the gym, the kids are at the disco, and I think Clint and Laura are procreating."

"Pervert." Bucky muttered.

"Where's Steve?"

He smirked biting his tongue before answering simply, " _Masturbating_."

Tony turned to him wide eyed, "Capsicle?!"

"Oh yeah." He laughed.

Tony shuddered at the thought 

"Hey do you need your arm? Or can I take it? I think I figured something out."

Bucky nodded, "Definitely. I just- I'll take it up to your room later."

Tony agreed to it and Bucky left.

* * *

**Day 19**

Tony had worked on the arm all night. When Bucky and Steve left to go eat breakfast he snuck in to leave it on the bed.

Grabbing some paper he wrote Bucky a quick note.

Fixed some stuff lemme know what you think. Might pinch a bit at first but it shouldn't be too bad. You might need help to attach the wires I added.

\- Tony Stark

Leaving the note with the arm he walked out.

Bucky sighed getting back to the cabin. Natalia had thrown up all over him.

Pulling his shirt off he threw it in the hamper finally seeing the arm.

' _Thank god. Being stuck with just one arm sucked_.' He thought to himself grabbing the note to read.

He smiled reading the note.Before he could get too excited he turned on the computer to make a quick call.

"Bucky do we have an appointment?" The therapist asked answering the call.

He shook his head, "I was hoping to make one."

She nodded, "You're lucky I have the time today. What's going on?"

"Yesterday I walked in on Steve watching porn. Well not porn it was actually a-a video of us."

"Oh and uh how-how did that make you feel?"

Bucky turned away blushing, biting his tongue. 

She laughed, "So it didn't make you uncomfortable. Quite the opposite?"

He nodded, "Definitely the opposite. So I- I kind of hu...em- I embarrassed him about it. It was all fun and games until he started hiding which on a normal day I would keep doing it. Except I got worried he wasn't enjoying it and that he hadn't been enjoying watching us either so I went to leave when he admitted that he had."

She nodded jotting everything down.

"So I did some more," he laughed, "but I left because I wasn't sure anything could happen."

"We'll circle back to this humiliation kink of yours because I'm sure there's more behind that but-"

"It's not a kink." Bucky assured her.

"You like being embarrassed? Degraded? Insulted?"

"This is highly inappropriate."

"Not if I believe it connects to what happened to you."

Bucky scoffed, "I don't like being degraded or insulted. Who would?"

She looked up from her notes raising an eyebrow, "Do you call Steve your dirty little slut?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"No." She laughed.

"I don't have a humiliation kink! And if I did it would be hydras fault. I- I think I'm ready to have sex again. I know I'm doing better. I'm comfortable without the arm now too."

Nodding she went back to her notes.

"So you're comfortable enough not to freak out while... engaged?"

"Right."

"Are you sleeping in the same bed yet?"

Bucky sighed.

"No." He muttered.

"Start with sleeping in the same bed or maybe holding his hand. If you really just want to see him naked take a shower or a bath together."

"And then?"

She sighed nodding, "Yes after that you can have sex."

He grinned, "Thanks, Addy!" He added before hanging up.

' _Humiliation kink. Who does she think she is?'_

Steve knocked on the door, "Can I come in?"

"No I'm jerking off." Bucky smirked.

"O-oh I- sorry."

He laughed hurrying over to the door to open it, "I'm making fun of you, punk."

"Jerk." Steve scoffed as Bucky threw an arm around his waist leading him into the room.

"Help me?" He asked letting go and sitting on the bed.

"With?"

He looked down at his lap; suddenly nervous.

"The arm." He whispered.

Steve looked at him in shock unsure he had heard correctly.

"Yes. Yes! I want to help! That's all I want!" He laughed kissing him.

Pulling away he gnawed at his lip embarrassed, "I didn't mean to kiss you."

Bucky smiled and pulled him back towards him.

"Don't you ever fucking dare apologize for kissing me." He whispered, letting go.

"Okay! The arm! How do I help?" He asked grabbing the arm.

He laughed watching his husband fiddle around with the arm.

Grabbing his hand he led him to the bathroom so they stood in front of the mirror before handing him a hair tie, "Could you? Please?"

Steve smiled taking the hair tie and tying Bucky's hair away from where he'd have to connect the arm.

"Tony warned it'll pinch so I'm letting you know. You have to stick the wires to my skin and then the arm goes over it and it should automatically click into place." He explained.

"Where do I connect the wires?" Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged, "Tony didn't specify."

Nodding, Steve took his time to carefully attach the arm. The wires were connected to a sort of sticker material with a needle in the middle, most likely to keep from falling off.

The first needle went in and Bucky flinched with a small "ah".

Steve leaned down kissing the skin by the wire whispering that it would all be okay.

Bucky nodded and Steve finished off with the next six wires, Bucky flinching when each needle broke skin and Steve kissing the sore area.

"Hold." Steve said and Bucky grabbed the arm which still hadn't been attached.

He walked away to grab a hand towel and ran it under hot water to clean the blood.

"You don't have to be brave. It's seven needles it must hurt. You asked me to help my help comes with love and care." He whispered when he finished cleaning.

Bucky smiled leaning against Steve letting his head fall against his shoulder, "I really do love you." He whispered.

"I'm messing your shirt." He laughed.

"Aw who cares? I have more. Just a little tears anyways. I'm going to attach the arm now." Steve smiled kissing Bucky's head as he finished attaching the arm.

"Good?" He asked.

Bucky nodded standing up, "Yeah. Now I just have to figure out what the hell it is Tony did. Thank you." He smiled giving him a soft kiss.

"Glee?"

"Yes please!"

Steve laughed grabbing Bucky's hand.

* * *

"So?!" Tony asked a few hours later when they finally left the room.

"So what?" Bucky asked side eyeing him.

Tony frowned grabbing Bucky's metal arm.

"Whoah, Stark!" Bucky said pulling his arm away weirded out 

Tony rolled his eyes, "Did you feel that?"

"No?"

"Did you attach the wires?"

"Yes! Why the interrogation?"

He shook his head, "Never mind. Forget it. I have to fix my calculations then."

Nodding, Bucky walked away. Once he found Steve he walked over and wrapped his arms around him hiding his face in the crook of his neck, "Tony's being weird." He whined.

Steve laughed, "I'll protect you." He teased.

"Bucky!" Natasha called.

Groaning Bucky let go of Steve turning around, "What?" He snapped.

"I'm bored. Sam and I are going to do something. Want to come?"

"Yeah" he nodded before turning back to Steve, "Can I sleep in our bed tonight?"

"What?" Steve asked confused.

Bucky shrugged, "I mean unless you sleep better without me." He said pretending he didn't care what Steve's response would be.

"No."

"Oh. Okay. But the couch is killing me so I think I'm going to get a new room."

"No! I meant I can't sleep without you. Please sleep in our bed. Please."

Bucky grinned, "Okay. I'll see you later."

* * *

A few hours passed before Steve came back to their cabin with Natalia.

"Bucky? Sorry it took so long. Natalia wanted to go to the planetarium and see all the pretty stars." He laughed kissing the baby's cheek.

Natalia giggled along with him.

"Don't come in!" Bucky shouted.

He looked at Natalia raising an eyebrow, "Natasha?" He asked.

"You can come in." She answered and he opened the door.

He laughed finding Natasha, Sam, and Bucky on the bed legs crossed with green goop on their faces with cucumbers on their eyes.

All three of them were in fluffy white robes but, unlike Sam, Natasha and Bucky had two fluffy white towels on their heads to match.

"Oh god." He whispered laughing some more.

"Can you stop?" Bucky scoffed.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Steve gasped trying to stop laughing.

He finally stopped laughing and sighed crossing his arms, "You look... amazing."

Bucky growled at him.

"James! For the final time the mask can't dry if you keep talking!" Natasha sighed grabbing more of the goop and placing it on Bucky's face.

Sam pulled the cucumber off his eyes eating it, "mmhm! This is good!"

Bucky sighed relaxing back against the bed frame.

"Is that wax?"

"Yeah Bucky said he'd do my eyebrows. We have tea too. Would you like some?" Natasha asked.

"Please." Steve smiled grabbing a cup as Natasha poured him some tea.

A few minutes later a timer rang and Bucky pulled the cucumbers off his eyes and went to wash his face.

Steve smirked at him when he finally walked out, "Gonna do your makeup next?" He teased.

"I'm a considerate husband. I make sure I look pretty for you _every single_ day. You should thank me." Bucky said walking back to the bed with his head held high.

"You're right. As a thank you gift how about I buy you a pretty little dress with matching heels?"

"Just because you aren't comfortable in your masculinity doesn't mean I'm not. No thank you to the dress but if you could buy me knee highs I will gladly accept the shoes." He smirked.

Steve looked over at Natasha for help, "What the hell are knee highs?"

She laughed, "Knee high boots."

"Natasha?" Bucky asked with an innocent smile.

"Yes, Bucky?"

"Can you pretty please do my makeup to prove to my husband that his toxic masculinity is no match for how comfortable I am with mine?"

Natasha grinned, "Yes!"

Steve rolled his eyes as Natasha got started on Bucky's face, Sam all the whileeating the cucumber slices.

"Is this avocado mask edible?" He asked though no one paid him any attention.

Natalia babbled a bubble forming around her and carrying her up to the bed before popping where she giggled and clapped.

"Rogers! Favorite color."

"Blue."

"Barnes?"

"Red."

"Is Natalia's white?" She joked.

She spent about an hour finishing Bucky's makeup, "All done! Oh and it looks like Natalia wanted to be just as pretty as her daddy." She laughed seeing as Natalia had gotten into the makeup and now had lipstick all over her face.

Bucky laughed, "I will clean her up and I swear I'll by you a new lipstick as an apology." He said as he stood up walking over to stand in front of Steve.

Steve smirked at him.

"What?" Bucky asked with a laugh. Of all the reactions he had expected he didn't think of Steve smirking.

"Your robe fell open." Steve whispered grabbing the rope as proof.

Bucky blushed quickly closing it.

"You look pretty as a picture." He assured as he stood up.

"If you will all excuse me, I need to shower." He added.

Bucky bit his tongue grinning at Steve, his hand making the hand job motion.

Steve scoffed whacking him over the head, "I am not jerking off with people in the next room."

"I do it." Bucky smirked leaning close to whisper, "I even do it in the same room."

He pulled away watching Steve's eyes glaze over.

He clicked his tongue smacking Steve's ass, "Go shower!"

Steve groaned leaning forward to grip the dresser.

"Steve we're still here." Sam laughed.

Steve flushed and stormed off to the bathroom.

Bucky laughed crawling back onto the bed.

"Well I love the blue eyeshadow. You would've looked great in the 80's. That being said, can I please do your nails?"

He pulled his hands away from Natasha, "No. Nail polish chips and if it chips inside Steve I will never hear the end of it." He muttered closing his eyes to try and relax.

Natasha nodded grabbing the black and white nail polish to paint Bucky's metal hand. It wasn't like he'd notice.

"Natasha come on!" He whined.

"Do you feel that?" Sam asked.

"Of course I do what dumbass question is that."

"Bucky!" Natasha shouted and he opened his eyes.

"I'm painting your metal hand! I thought you couldn't feel with it."

"I can't. It's probably just the pressure. I can't feel but I can tell." Bucky said brushing it off.

He looked down at his hand really hoping what they were saying just might be true.

He waited until they were gone to look at Steve, "Can you hold my hand?" He whispered voice breaking in the hopes that he might actually be able to feel it.

"Yeah of course!" Steve smiled getting up and grabbing Bucky's hand in his own.

Slowly, he smiled. He could feel it. He could actually feel Steve's hand in his own and Tony may be a dick but he will forever be indebted to him.

"Honey what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Steve whispered crawling onto the bed to wipe Bucky's face.

Bucky laughed leaning into the hand on his face still staring down at the one holding his hand.

"You're holding my hand and I can feel it. I can feel you Steve."


	7. Day 21-22: California

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

Steve woke up happy that morning with Bucky's arms wrapped around him.

Careful not to wake his sleeping husband up he headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Once ready he woke Natalia up, "Baby girl did we forget to take your makeup off last night?" He laughed grabbing some wet paper towels.

Cleaning her face he didn't even realize Bucky waking up.

Bucky smiled to himself hugging the pillow close.

Steve finished cleaning off the baby's face leaving her slightly pink.

"There are makeup wipes in the bathroom cabinet." Bucky mumbled.

Smiling he turned around, "Hey I didn't want to wake you." He whispered kissing him before going to look for the makeup wipes.

' _What do makeup wipes come in?'_ He wondered searching for them coming across a new bottle of lube.

"God I really hope we can have sex soon." He muttered before grabbing what he thought to be the makeup wipes.

"Did you buy lube? I- I'm not pushing it's just I didn't buy a new bottle."

"Yeah. It's Hawaiian." He answered.

Bucky hummed watching Steve finish cleaning Natalia's face, "Come back to bed? I'm sure Natalia won't mind if her daddies... make out... for a bit."

Steve threw the wipes into the trash turning around, "What?"

"Oh... I thought we were both in the same place here." Bucky said confused, "I was ready for more and I thought you still wanted... making out is all I can offer. We need to do that before I can know if I really am ready for more because I want to be. I'm sorry if it's not enough for you."

Steve laughed sitting down on the bed, "Honey, Bucky, yes. You just made it sound like we're some horny teenagers."

"Does that mean I can... hold your hand?" Bucky asked sitting up and grabbing Steve's hand in his metal one.

He was so fucking touch starved he never wanted to let go.

"And maybe run it up your arm..." he whispered getting up to his knees to move closer.

"Hold that pretty little neck of yours."

He pulled him closer leaving some space in between them, "Kiss me."

Steve smiled closing the space between them in a heated kiss climbing into his lap.

* * *

Clint walked into their cabin to ask if they were planning on stopping by the pool only to find the two making out.

"I'm sorry did I step into a time machine? You're making out like two teenagers." Clint laughed as the two pulled away panting and blushing.

Bucky rolled off of Steve, "What do you want?"

"I wanted to know if you guys were going to the pool. Nice makeup, Barnes."

Bucky looked at him confused, "Did I not take that off?" He asked with a shrug.

Steve whined, "Get out! I want to be kissed!"

"Well how could I say no to that?" Bucky sighed biting his bottom lip, his eyes trailing over Steve's muscled body.

Clint turned around and walked out.

"Are they awake?" Tony asked about to go in.

"I wouldn't. They're cranky." Clint warned.

Tony ignored Clint's warning and knocked before walking in, "Bucky?" He asked.

Bucky groaned pulling always from steve, "Come on! Look I'll be out there in two hours just give me until then." He begged.

* * *

"Good morning." Natasha said when Steve finally met them at the breakfast bar.

"It really really is." Steve laughed.

"You finally jerked off!"

"No! Shut up!" He scoffed turning red as he took a seat, "Bucky is doing a lot better."

She glanced over at him unsure whether or not to say anything.

"What is it?"

"Are you sure he's better?" She asked. She didn't want to ruin his mood but she also didn't want Bucky doing something he wasn't ready for.

"Well he said- yesterday he was- he slept in the bed last night. A-and today he- he said he wanted to make out. Do you think he didn't want to kiss me? What if he didn't want to kiss me... what if I was pushing him for more without realizing? I don't want him to do something he doesn't want!" Steve said starting to panic.

Bucky walked up to the breakfast bar and grabbed some sausages before kissing Steve's cheek.

Steve smiled softly, pulling away, "You don't have to." He whispered.

Bucky looked at him confused before shaking his head, "I know. I just wanted to."

_'Oh no.'_ Natasha thought to herself.

"Where did you get the bacon?" He asked not seeing any.

Natasha handed him her plate, "Have it."

"Thanks." He smiled taking the plate.

They spent the next hour talking Steve sitting between them trying not to freak out as he wondered if maybe Bucky didn't want what he had said he wanted.

"Stevie you know I love you but you look a little pale." Bucky laughed, "Maybe Natasha should paint your face. Or, you know, _I_... could."

"Ew." Natasha said shaking her head trying to get the image out.

"I'm sorry it's been a few day's. I'm going to get all the dirty jokes in that I can fit. I was thinking we go to the movies today?"

Steve nodded, "Sounds great. Natalia may not like it much though."

"We can take her to the park. Have a picnic. Then the movie while she's sleeping. Maybe come back to our cabin. Have some fun."

"Fun?"

Bucky rolled his eyes assuming Steve was just teasing him.

"I'm going to go get Natalia ready. I'll meet you at the dock." He explained kissing his cheek before walking off.

"I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to!" Steve said to Natasha exasperated at having had to stay quite for so long.

"Talk to him! I'm sure if he really didn't want to he would be more distant or something. It’s Bucky. He doesn’t deal with his feelings well.”

Steve walked out to the dock waiting for Bucky to arrive with Natalia. He smiled as they pulled up in a car.

"Rented one so we wouldn't have to walk everywhere." Bucky explained when he lowered the window.

He laughed opening the door to get in, "I like it. You look nice."

"I always look nice." Bucky grinned grabbing Steve's hand as he pulled into the highway.

Steve smiled pulling his hand away, "You don't have to." He whispered before turning around in his seat.

"O-oh." Bucky whispered. He shook his head trying to pay attention to the road. Why didn't he want to hold his hand?

"Natty, baby girl, how are you?" He asked.

Natalia ignored him playing with her stuffed animals.

He laughed blowing her a kiss when she looked up.

Natalia giggled blowing one back.

"Good job!" He praised before turning back around and connecting his phone to the aux and turning on Spotify which automatically started playing Taylor Swift's We are never ever getting back together.

Bucky sucked in a breath. Yeah, maybe they never were.

Steve laughed changing the song, "At least we weren't fighting right?"

He nodded playing along as they pulled up to the park, "I'll get Natalia you get the basket." He said stepping out of the car.

Steve grabbed the basket and unable to help his curiosity opened it to see what Bucky had packed.

He smiled seeing the salad and sandwiches along with two smoothies.

"Damn it!" Bucky cursed throwing the stroller to the ground.

He leaned against the car checking his hand for any burns.

Steve hurried out of the car towards him, "What happened?!" He asked grabbing Bucky's hand.

Bucky snatched his hand away, "It's metal it heats up in the sun I just burnt myself forget it." He snapped.

Steve took a step back giving Bucky some space, "You don't have to snap at me for worrying."

He picked the stroller back up opening it and strapping Natalia in all in silence, if Steve couldn't even hold his hand then he was not allowed to worry.

Sighing Steve grabbed the basket and followed him confused.

The rest of their date went by terribly, they ate in silence both worried about different things, then Natalia spilled one of the smoothies all over herself. In the end they decided just to go back to the boat and just watch a movie there.

The boat was, ironically, playing Titanic so they decided just to sit and watch.

Bucky sat down on Steve's lap.

Steve smiled wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.

Bucky let out a breath, ' _thank god. It was just in my head.'_

Noticing Bucky let out a breath he let go of him afraid he was trying to tell him to.

Bucky looked back at Steve before looking around the room suddenly embarrassed, "I left the stove on. In our cabin." He whispered standing up.

"I'm an idiot." He laughed before walking away.

He ran back to the cabin. He was trying to get better for Steve and he was! He was getting better. It was working. And he thought Steve felt the same. He hadn't had an issue early that day but now? Now he didn't even want Bucky touching him.

Trying to distract himself he made up a bath.

Four hours passed and he realized the movie must be ending when he heard the door open.

Steve sighed maybe he was over thinking everything. Maybe Bucky was fine.

"Your pajama is in the bathroom, Natalia. I'll be right back." He whispered kissing her head.

Bucky looked up when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Oh sorry!" Steve said realizing Bucky was in the bath.

"It's fine. You... do you maybe want to join me? It's relaxing." He asked voice soft trying to keep the worry out.

Steve shook his head, he had already turned around as to not stare afraid of making Bucky uncomfortable.

Bucky nodded looking back down at the water.

' _Right. Because to_ you _\- to my husband -nothing is worse then seeing me naked.'_

"Can you pass me my pills? I just realized I forgot to take them this morning." He lied and Steve finally turned around.

"No you didn’t. You took them before we went to breakfast."

He hadn't expected him to remember and now he looked stupid.

"Right. I guess I just forgot I took them. I'll be out soon. Do you want a massage?"

"Buck..."

"Do you want a massage? It's been a long day and you don't want a bath so maybe a massage."

Steve nodded, "That sounds nice." He whispered grabbing the pajama and walking out.

Bucky stepped out of the tub drying off and getting dressed before grabbing the pill bottle.

"I have a daughter and a kid deserves _two_ parents." He whispered to himself putting them away. Was it helping? No. Did it stop him from taking more then he was meant to? Yeah. 

"Get on the bed. On your stomach." He said as he stepped out.

Steve relaxed into the bed as Bucky crawled on top of him pushing his shirt up.

Steve groaned as Bucky kneaded his muscles.

"Fuck, Stevie you're tight." Bucky muttered, "Stressin' much?"

Instead of answering Steve just groaned again.

Bucky licked his lips leaning down to kiss the small of his back.

Steve turned his head to the side, "You know you don't have to right?"

He looked over at him before standing, "Okay. I'm going to go." He decided.

Steve sat up, "You don't have to leave."

He looked over at Steve before up at the roof as to not let himself cry.

"Look, Steve I know it's been a hard few days but when I told you I was better and I was ready you jumped at the chance to do anything."

"I shouldn't have." Steve said turning around to face him, "Could you look at me."

"I don't deserve a lot Steve and I know damn well I don't deserve you but- if the end of our relationship is here... if I _caused_ the end of our relationship- if you've realized that maybe you don't... _enjoy_ what we do or that maybe you do but you'd prefer to do it with someone else. If that's the case I deserve to be told to my face and not feel like I'm the reason we're falling apart. You keep saying I don't have to do things that I very much want to do! If you don't want me to do the things because you don't like me anymore or maybe you realized you're straight just tell me. Because right now I feel like shit for even wanting to hold my **_god damn husbands hand_**."

"Bucky-"

Bucky walked out not letting Steve finish talking.

"Sorry!" A woman said bumping into him.

He looked over at her confused, "No it was all my fault I wasn't paying attention I'm sorry." He apologized stepping out of her way.

She laughed and started walking away.

"Are you single?" He blurted out.

"E-excuse me?" She asked.

He gulped turning towards her, "My friend. He's single and I have made it my mission to get him a girl. He's nice. Best guy you'll ever meet. Six foot, blond hair, blue eyes. Twenty eight."

 _‘I think.’_

If Steve was going to leave him the least he could do was get him a date right?

"Don't answer yet. Think about it. He'll be at a table in the restaurant. You won't miss him if you go." He added before walking away.

* * *

Steve got a text from Bucky about an hour later asking him to get a table at the restaurant.

He sighed thankful for the message. At least he knew everything was okay.

"Come on, Natty, you're going to spend some time with your Uncle Sam." He said picking her up.

Quickly, he made her a bottle and packed her a small bag before going to Sam's cabin.

"Yeah?" Sam asked when he opened the door.

"Can you watch Natalia? I shouldn't be more then two hours. Bucky walked out on me but he agreed to meet me at the restaurant so we can talk."

Sam nodded taking the baby, "Why did he walk out?"

"He's been trying to hold my hand and stuff all day and I told him he didn't have to if he didn't want to. I think I made him feel like I was the one who didn't want it. Anyways, thanks." He explained before leaving.

He walked up to the restaurant and waited for a hostess, "Table for two." He smiled and she led him to an open table.

Fiddling with his fingers he waited realizing Bucky hadn't said an exact time.

A woman walked over taking a seat, "Hi."

Steve looked up at her confused, "Oh uh hi I just... that seats saved."

"You are Steve right?"

"You are?"

"Ella. James set us up? _Any_ of this ringing a bell?" She laughed.

' _You son of a bitch._ ' Steve thought to himself before smiling and nodding. His mother had raised him to be a polite man and if that meant enduring a date his husband had set him up on then so be it.

"So how do you know, James?" She asked.

Boy it was going to be a long date.

Hours passed and Steve hadn't gone looking for him so he could only assume he was having a good time.

He walked to Sam's cabin assuming Steve would've given him Natalia.

"Oh are you guys done? I thought you'd take longer."

Bucky chuckled, "Yeah. It looks like we are. I'll take Natalia. I don't want Steve to end his date earlier then he wants because he has to pick her up." He said following Sam into the cabin.

"Date?"

"Yeah. Turns out he does like women. Or maybe he does like men he just doesn't like _me_."

"I'm sorry, Barnes."

"I am too." Bucky whispered picking Natalia up, "Come on, baby girl. Let's go for a walk."

The said goodbye to Sam and walked out.

Passing by the restaurant he couldn't help but stop to see if Steve was still there.

He took his phone out to send him a text.

* * *

Picked Natalia up from Sam’s. You looked like you were having fun I didn’t want to disturb. We can talk more in the morning. Hey, don’t forget to use protection 😂. Natty ain’t even a year old she don’t need a sibling. 

* * *

Steve looked down at his phone. Reading the message he looked around for Bucky.

"Everything okay?" His date asked.

"Yeah just... looking for the waitress for the check."

After paying he walked Ella to her cabin.

"Would you like to come in?" She asked.

Steve smiled kindly but shook his head, "I can't. I had a great time but I can't. Unfortunately, I don't think this will work. My... _friend_... he's a little slow. Doesn't understand I'm happy with my life as it is."

She nodded, "I had a good time too. I hope everything works out for the best."

He nodded with a soft "Me too." Before walking away to go find Bucky.

Sam opened his door when Steve started banging against it.

"Where is he? Where the hell is my husband?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit! You gave him Natalia! Is he in there? Bucky come out! James Buchanan Barnes-Rogers come out of there so we can talk, you son of a bitch!" He yelled trying to get past Sam.

"He's not here! He took her and he left, Steve!" Sam shouted pushing Steve back.

He lost his balance falling a few steps back and against the wall, "What do you mean _left_?" No. Bucky could be a dick and they fought because they were both so fucking hot headed but he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't leave him.

"I mean," Sam sighed shaking his head, "Steve, I mean he left before the ship left the dock. I mean you should look for him but there's a strong chance he got off."

Steve shook his head, "No. No!" He shouted running off. He had to find Bucky. There was no way he got off the boat.

He ran to the cabin, "Bucky!" He shouted the door slamming open.

Bucky flinched looking up from his bag. "Is she here? I- I was just packing to go. I'll take Natalia tonight so you can... have some fun. Enjoy yourself. After that we can talk custody. I'm okay with whatever but I would like to see her once a week. I'll settle for once every other week. Supervised only and only until she’s old enough to decide she hates me too.” 

Steve walked over grabbing his hands to stop him from packing.

He tried pulling away refusing to look at Steve.

"Look at me, Bucky! It's me. It's Steve. Your friend. Your husband." He shouted.

Letting go of Bucky's hands Steve grabbed his chin turning his head towards him.

"You're a son of a bitch. Setting me up on a date? We were past this! We were past the insecurity that you're not what I want, that I would leave you. We are past this insecurity! I'm never going to leave you! I'm never going to hurt you."

"But you don't want me!" Bucky shouted pulling out of Steve's grip, "If you weren't going to leave me then explain it! You don't want me holding your hand, kissing you, hell I was giving you a massage and all I did was kiss you're damn back and you said it again. "You don't have to." I know I don't have to do anything, Steve I know that! I wanted to! So if you're not leaving me the only other explanation I can think of is that... you're embarrassed by me. Oh look there goes Captain America with his husband who tried to murder him! Trash. Hand me downs. Of course you're fucking embarrassed I'm the leftovers no one wants."

"You think I want to be with trash? Bucky you're not trash you're- you are the moon- you're the stars or the sun- I'm not good at this! I'm not the sweet talker in this relationship! You give meaning to my life. You had no right to set me up. Not when you're all I want and need." Steve whispered.

"It's just if you're going to leave me I'd like to make sure you have someone. So I know you left for love and not because I wasn't enough."

Steve grabbed Bucky's bag and moved it back into the closet, "That stays there. And you stay with me." He said reaching out for Bucky's hand.

Bucky grabbed Steve's hand pulling him towards him, "Thank you. For loving me."

"Til the end of the line right?" He asked kissing Bucky.

Bucky smiled against Steve's lips pulling him closer and backing up towards the bed.

* * *

"Good morning." Bucky whispered kissing Steve's neck and nipping at his ear.

Steve moaned lightly turning towards him with a smile, "Morning, Buck." He sighed running his fingers up his chest.

Bucky laughed tilting Steve's chin up to kiss him.

"I... _adore_ you, Lyubimiy." He hummed when he pulled away.

"Who?" Steve growled.

"It means my love." Bucky laughed at how adorable Steve could be.

He blushed trying to look away, "Tell me more."

Smirking Bucky leaned closer to his ear, "Я хочу тебя вывезти.Я хочу немного повеселиться на свидании, когда не о чем беспокоиться.где мы с тобой можем провести день, не опасаясь друг друга.обнимать тебя, целовать и любить."

" _ **I want to take you out. I want to have some fun on a date where there's no worry. where you and I can spend the day with no insecurities about eachother. to hold you and kiss you and love you."**_

Steve closed his eyes listening to Bucky speak, "Tell me more."

"Kotyonok. Zaichik. Dorogoi. Moi sladkiy." He listed off pet name after pet name.

"I have no clue what you're saying but it sounds hot." Steve laughed.

Bucky pulled away cradling Steve's face in his hand, "Krasotka. I'm calling you gorgeous. Lisichka. Little fox. What I am going to nickname our red headed beauty of a daughter."

Steve gaped at him ending up giggling embarrassed at the names.

Bucky smirked grabbing Steve by his hips and pulling him up onto his lap, "God you weigh more then a horse." He joked, pretending to be tired out.

"It's all the muscle you love." Steve scoffed involuntarily flexing.

Bucky whacked his abs, "Quit it. You have nothing to prove. Not to me; not to anyone. Yebat' menya v rot."

Steve blushed letting himself relax, "Sorry. Instinct."

Smiling Bucky ran his hands over Steve's hips, "I know, baby and we're going to break that habit because you have no reason to feel that way."

"What did you say? The thing in Russian." Steve whispered trying to change the subject.

Bucky laughed, dropping his head as he realized it wouldn't sound as good in English, "I uh- roughly translated? It means: if I'm wrong, fuck me in the mouth."

"Oh."

"But uh, samogo khot' v zhopu."

"You can even bang me in the ass." He added before Steve could ask.

"Okay okay I get it! It's a sexy language with a lot of sexual phrases!"

"Palka chaya."

"What does that one mean? You're going to give me a handjob?" Steve rolled his eyes.

"I'm asking if you'd like a cane of tea which-"

"Oh. Tea sounds nice."

"You cut me off! I'm basically offering to fuck you."

"That makes more sense. Still sounds nice."

"Yeah?" Bucky asked looking up at him. If he was being honest with himself, a part of him had been worried Steve wouldn't want to sleep with him after what hydra did really came out.

"You do understand that this doesn't mean I'm a hundred percent better right? Because I am. Better. And I want to do this but not if you think it means I won't have another nightmare or something. I'm still working on it."

Steve shushed him leaning down to kiss him.

Bucky smiled kissing him back, pulling him closer.

"Fuck, Stevie," he whispered as Steve pulled off him biting his lip making it sound more like "Huck, Ste-ie."

Steve laughed kissing his face over and over.

"Baby I want you to ride me all day." He moaned bucking his hips.

He grabbed Bucky's shoulders with a soft laugh, "Damn, Buck. Barely getting started and you're already... interested."

"And you aren't which only means we need to do something about it." He whispered. He flipped them so Steve was lying on his back.

Running his hands down Steve's sides he stopped at his boxers thanking god that was all Steve ever slept in, "So beautiful. Going to make you feel so good, Stevie, you'll be screaming my name."

Pulling down his boxers he smirked at his husband, "Already half way there, baby? Look at you so big in my hand." He teased giving him a tight squeeze before he could answer.

Steve whimpered arching his back, Bucky holding him punishingly tight.

"I think we have a few quick rounds here before we wake Natty and go meet the others at the beach." Bucky added grabbing the lube and pouring a generous amount on his hand stroking Steve.

He made a choked whimpering noise and tensed up. He was already panting, and Bucky noticed that he was starting to sweat, just a little bit, on his forehead. Bucky rubbed his free hand over Steve's belly, shushing as he tried to soothe him. He wanted Steve to get hard, not have a seizure.

"C-can I ride you now? And you pound me into the mattress after-after we get back, maybe?" Steve asked, his voice wavering.

Bucky smiled devilishly and squeezed Steve's shaft again, almost a reward for answering. "Ambitious, are we? Think you'll last long enough to get on? I'm willing to bet you'll blow before you're an inch down."

Steve blushed thrusting into Bucky's hand which earned him a painful squeeze.

"Did I say you could move? You get what I give you or you don't get anything at all." He growled.

Bucky had barely done anything, and here Steve was, coming apart for him at the seams.

He glanced over at the clock. Half past seven. They had about half an hour before Natalia would undoubtedly wake up.

Steve entangled his fingers in Bucky's hair pulling him down into a heated kiss sobbing light pleases and begging for more.

Letting go of his cock Bucky grabbed some more lube preferring to be safe rather then sorry.

"I know Steve I know. You just need a cock in you. Only way you'll behave." He taunted resting his forehead against Steve's as he pushed a finger into him.

"You're-" he pulled up with a laugh, "When the hell did you get yourself ready?!"

Steve looked away feeling himself go red all over, "I woke up about an hour before you and was bored so I kinda..."

"Stevie you dog you masturbated with me in bed next to you!"

Whining Steve wanted to hide finding it impossible to turn around with Bucky on top of him, "Don't call it that!"

Smirking he nipped at Steve's ear, "Why not? It's what it is. Jerking off, touching yourself, masturbating. Call it what you want. You do that often? Wake up an hour before me to play with yourself?"

"Bucky!"

"How many fingers?"

Steve exhaled sharply and tried to bend further to hide his face in his pillow, but Bucky carefully grabbed him by his neck moving his head towards him. Bucky could never resist looking at Steve when he was getting all shy and flustered; he always became sweet and red and defensive and Bucky loved it.

Steve was fidgeting and panting. His hard cock had become nearly purple as he stared into his husbands eyes.

He loved how sensitive and bashful Steve could get when he asked him questions like that, questions that were so simple yet so embarrassing at the same time. Still, though, they made Steve look like he was about to come right there.

"Two," Steve murmured after a long moment. He licked his lips, and fuck, did Bucky want to make out with him for a while. But, ultimately, that would have just prolonged the amount of time before either got some relief to their aching cocks, so he put the thought aside.

Instead, Bucky nodded at Steve. Two was okay. Bucky would give him a little bit more to make sure Steve was happy and safe, but two was a great start. He told him so, kissing him through the full body shudder he released at the praise.

He kissed his neck as he slowly pushed three fingers into him.

Steve let out a low whine his nails digging into Bucky's back.

"Shhh baby it's okay. I got you." Bucky whispered pumping his fingers in and out of him.

Whimpering, Steve pushed down against him.

Bucky let his fingers work in deeper, rubbing on Steve's sweet spot that was almost second nature to find by now. Steve let out a squeak and started fisting the sheets in his hands. Bucky smirked, and stretched his fingers lightly, scissoring just enough to make Steve squirm, his other hand busy pinching at Steve's nipples.

"So so sensitive." He whispered pulling out. He wanted to keep teasing him. To watch him come down with just his fingers but they were wasting time.

He lubed himself up moving off of Steve and onto the bed, "You wanted to ride it." He smirked.

Shaking, Steve got up on all fours crawling onto Bucky as he tried to calm himself down already worked up to the point of incoherence.

"Hey, Stevie? Safe word." He whispered wanting to make sure it was just Steve's eyes glazed over and not his actual thoughts.

"Waffles. Hurts. Please." Steve whispered.

"Whenever you're ready then sweetheart."

Steve bit his lip slowly sliding down onto Bucky's dick.

He stopped about half way gripping Bucky's shoulders as he panted, face red, "I-I can't any-anymore. Too-too hard." He moaned.

"I can see that." Bucky answered his voice raspy in an effort not to moan.

"But you can do it. Don't tell me those few days were all it took to get you tight as a Virgin. My little virgin Stevie? Ooh I like that. My little virgin Stevie can't take my big dick." He teased.

Steve glowered at him pushing down the rest of the way with a broken moan his eyes rolling back as he slowly moved.

"Told you you could take it. Glad you're feeling good." He added as Steve slowly moved up and down trying to find a rhythm.

Resting his hands on Steve's hips he lifted him off letting go when he was half way off moaning to himself.

"So-" he gasped as Bucky let him fall back down on him, "So fucking good, Buck." He sobbed speeding up.

Eyes, already closed, he was still just grinding back on Bucky, and bobbing up and down, but he was already nearing incoherency.

Bucky wasn't getting too much stimulation himself other than the greedy way Steve clenched and loosened around him, but he didn't mind. He was so keyed up that the gentle sensation would probably be enough to make him come anyway.

Besides, Steve was clearly feeling incredible. When that was happening, Bucky's own arousal didn't seem to matter so much.

"Look at you all pretty bouncing around." Bucky whispered his hands going up to Steve's pecs giving them a squeeze.

He sobbed slowing down and clenching around Bucky gripping the bed frame as he came.

Bucky gasped hearing a crack and trying to look behind himself he could see the cracks running down the bed frame.

"You didn't." He whispered.

Steve didn't answer, instead letting go and falling over Bucky still panting as he worked out of his high.

Bucky carefully flipped them over, "YOU BROKE THE BED?!" He shouted.

"Shh shh." Steve shushed closing his eyes trying to get comfortable.

"Oh hell no." Bucky scoffed.

Pulling out of him he turned Steve onto his stomach before pushing back in.

Steve gasped hands going to grab the frame.

Grabbing his hands before they made it Bucky tied them together, "Youre not breaking anything else." He whispered as he started pounding in and out of him.

Steve was a gasping mess against the pillow, sobbing and moaning.

"Bucky please I can't." He sobbed his entire lower body sore. His cock was hard again and leaking rubbing against the bed with each of Bucky's thrusts.

Bucky moaned smacking Steve's ass earning a rewarding scream before he thrust back in, "Fucking hell, Stevie you look so gorgeous like this. Look at you so desperate."

"Too much- it's too much." Steve moaned biting the pillow.

"Oh that's not what your cock is saying it looks like it's enjoying it. Look at that pretty round ass of yours. Red as an apple."

"No no no Bucky I can't- I- oh god!" He moaned as he came for the second time.

"Did I say you could cum?" Bucky asked speeding up stopping every so often to smack his ass.

"No no I'm sorry I'm sorry. Just feels so good, Bucky." He sobbed clenching around him trying to help him get there.

Bucky gasped grabbing Steve's shoulder as he came. He grunted riding out his high before pulling out.

Panting he leaned over gripping Steve's neck to pull his head off the pillow.

Steve sniffled suddenly embarrassed with himself as he looked into Bucky's eyes.

Bucky laughed leaning forward to kiss him, "You're adorable." He whispered cleaning his face for him.

"And you have nothing to be embarrassed about as long as you enjoyed it too." He added untying Steve's hands.

"I didn't mean to break the bed." He frowned.

"I know honey I know." Bucky laughed pulling Steve close to him, "We have about five minutes before we have to wake Natalia. You can sleep if you want. I'll wake you in an hour or two."

Steve shook his head, "I'm okay. I want to go out anyways. I'm not even sure where we are."

"You're still in space."

Whacking his husband he hummed. The dumbass was unfortunately right.

* * *

"Can you walk normally?" Bucky whispered to Steve as they walked out of the cabin an hour later.

"I am trying. It's not my fault!"

"It's not mine!"

"You're the one who wouldn't stop fucking me." 

"You were begging me to!" He shouted earning a few glances.

Clint walked up to them raising an eyebrow, "Does anyone want to know what he was begging you to do?"

Bucky shook his head and Steve whacked him, "Dumbass." He muttered.

He chuckled darkly turning to Steve, "You do not want to start slapping me now because I swear Rogers you may be having trouble walking but you'll soon be having trouble sitting as well."

"Are you guys coming to the beach with us?" Clint asked changing the topic.

"Yeah. I just want to pick up a swim shirt from the store but we'll meet you there." Bucky explained.

Steve followed him to the store with Natalia in her stroller.

"Bucky? Babe!"

Bucky stopped turning around, "Babe?"

"I thought you were doing better. Why the shirt?" 

"I am better but I'm still... what if people judge?"

Sighing Steve grabbed Bucky's hand, "I want to say then let them but I know that's not what you want."

Bucky smiled giving his hand a thankful squeeze, "I love you." He whispered kissing his cheek.

"Ah oh Ew!" Natalia giggled clapping her hands.

They laughed.

"We know you love us too, baby girl." Steve smiled walking into the store.

Bucky bought a shirt and Steve added a sunscreen bottle to the receipt.

"We have sunscreen."

"It's for Natalia. I don't need a burnt baby."

Bucky chewed on the inside of his cheek trying not to laugh at the thought as they walked to the beach.

Steve slowed down, his hand falling from Bucky's was he looked around his breathing speeding up. He knew if he didn't figure something out soon he'd have a panic attack but he couldn't figure out the cause.

"Steve? Stevie Baby what's wrong?" He asked turning towards him.

"Something. Somethings..." he shook his head. No. He was fine.

"I'm okay. I just thought I was having a panic attack. My heart spiked." He explained grabbing Bucky's hand.

"We can stop. Take a break." Bucky said worry lacing his voice.

"I'm good. Let's keep going. We're almost there anyways."

Bucky let Steve lead him to the beach still worried about what may happen.

"Hey." Steve whispered to Wanda when they arrived.

"Hey." She smiled taking off her sunglasses, "Thank god you're finally here. Sam is boring he to death."

Bucky laughed taking Natalia out of her stroller, "We are going to go into the water. You two have fun. And if something happens? Head between knees." He reminded Steve before walking away.

"Head between knees? I would assume he'd prefer your head between his thighs." Wanda joked.

Steve laughed, "It um... it's been a little more then a year since we were last here. Since I..." he trailed off.

"Since Bucky almost lost me." He finished voice cracking under the pressure not to react.

"Oh Steve..." Wanda whispered placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm a super soldier a bullet to the shoulder isn't meant to take me out. But it almost did and I can't imagine never having married Bucky- never having had Natalia. Well you had her I passed out."

She laughed, "Why didn't you stay on the boat?"

"That would mean reminding Bucky about what happened. He doesn't need that."

"Trust me? He already knows. He's not going to say anything unless you do and it's going to be hard on you both."

Steve laughed shaking his head as he pointed over at where Bucky and Natalia were playing in the water, "Look at him. He doesn't know."

Bucky looked over feeling Steve's eyes on him.

He smiled grabbing Natalia's little hand and waving.

"Just smile and wave, Natalia. Smile and wave. Papa is going to have a very bad day when he can finally admit it to himself." He whispered.

"See? He's happy." Steve smiled. 

Wanda rolled her eyes, "Love really is blind."

Steve ignored her watching Natalia splash around in the water and Bucky doing his best not to let go.

Around lunch time Steve put his sketch book down standing up, "I need to go for a walk. Do you guys want anything?"

"Hot dogs!" Everyone answered.

Steve laughed putting on his shoes.

Bucky set Natalia down on the sand with the other kids before hurrying over to Steve.

"Do you want one too?" Steve asked.

"Oh don't worry about me I'll get mine back at the boat. You need sunscreen."

"Ignoring the first part, I'm fine."

"Just let me put some on your face." He said grabbing the bottle and pouring some into his hand.

Steve whacked his hands away from his face, "Quit it! I'm not a child! If I needed sunscreen I'd put it on. I'm just going to get some hot dogs. It's a block away I'll barely be in the sun." Steve tried to reason.

"You're Irish! You burn like a lobster in the sun! Do I have to act like your mother?!" Bucky shouted as Steve walked away flipping him off.

"Steven Grant Barnes-Rogers you get back here!" He whined.

"Watch Natalia. And put more sunscreen on her. Poor kid just came out of the water it all probably came off. I don't need two crying children on my hands." He said to Peter, running after Steve.

Catching up to him he lightly smacked his ass. Steve squeaked coming to a stop looking around, "Bucky!"

"Oh calm down it’s California no one cares." He laughed grabbing his hand.

Steve nodded giving his hand a light squeeze.

Bucky looked around confused on why Steve seemed so out of place. No one was even paying them any attention but he still seemed uncomfortable.

Pulling his hand away from Steve he wrapped his arms around himself, "Are you embarrassed by me?" He asked.

"What?" Steve asked confused.

"I-I know I'm not the... I'm not the _best_ choice for a husband or hell even a friend and I understand if you feel that way too because you could do so much better, Steve. But that's normal. To know your significant other could do better. I know I can be overbearing and I worry about you and Natalia I just don't want you to whine all night because you can't sleep because of how sore you are due to your burns. If you're embarrassed by me you should tell me. I won't hold your hand or kiss you or smack your ass in public. I only do it because I can. Because a hundred years ago I couldn't. But if you're embarrassed or something then I won't do it." Bucky rushed out

Steve placed his hands on Bucky's shoulders, "I'm not embarrassed by you."

"You're not?"

"No. Not at all. I'm just a little in my head today."

"What's going on?" He whispered leaning against Steve as they waited in line.

Steve sighed, "It's been a little over a year since I got shot. Here."

"Steve..."

"It's just really messing with me. The fact I almost never married you. Almost never met Natalia. And I... if you want the truth I'm scared. I'm really scared, Bucky. I know it's very unlikely to happen again but I'm so scared and I know I need to get that bullet out the doctors keep calling about it but I don't want to go under to never come back. I don't want to miss what we'll have." He said finally breaking down and falling into Bucky's arms.

He soothingly rubbed his back kissing his shoulder, "You're okay, Steve. We're okay. You made it through. You are going to get to see our daughter grow up and become an old cat man when she leaves for college." He laughed.

"As for the bullet, that shits coming out of you the minute we get home. I don't need you getting an infection." He added.

Steve couldn't help but laugh at that pulling out of Bucky's arms.

"It's okay to be scared, Steve. It's not okay to not tell me when you're scared. I'm scared. I'm scared you'll get hurt. I'm scared Natalia will get hurt. I'm scared of myself. Of what I'm capable of." Bucky said trying to keep his voice soft.

"What am I meant to do?"

"You talk to me, we work it out and if needed be we talk to someone else. Sometimes we won't be able to help each other and that's okay but you can't just keep it all in, Steve because that makes it worse and that is not what we want. So we can take the hot dogs back to the others and we can go back to the ship or we can stay and leave whenever you start feeling that you can't deal with it anymore."

"And when that happens?"

"When that happens I'll be there to help you through it and take care of you whatever that may mean. If it's talking great. If it's sex even better. If it's a sponge bath then yeah why not wouldn't be the first time. Whatever it is I'll help."

Steve nodded, "M-maybe... could we go back for a bit? Natalia seems to be having fun and... I was too. I am! But maybe we leave a little earlier? Cuddle or something."

Bucky smiled, "Ask and you shall receive, my dear." He whispered kissing his hand.

They waited another thirty minutes before finally getting to the front of the line.

Laughing Bucky kissed his cheek, "Honey you're turning red. I told you you needed sun screen."

"Ow." Steve whined rubbing his cheek which only made the burn hurt worse.

He rolled his eyes turning to the man at the stand, "Twelve? Better make it twenty-four. Twenty four plain hot dogs and two bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish. Wait, Clint's family is weird, can we also get a bottle of Mayo? Shit I want fries... forty-eight fries too." He ordered.

The man nodded and started making the order.

"Wait for the food. I'm going down the street to get some drinks." Steve whispered walking away.

Steve came back just as the man handed Bucky two bags full of the food.

"You ordered way too much." He laughed.

"I like my fries and ketchup." Bucky reasoned as they walked.

He laughed wiping the bridge of Steve's nose, "You have aloe Vera."

"Shut up." Steve muttered turning even redder.

They spent the next few hours at the beach, Steve ended up eating most of the fries before building a sandcastle with Natalia who ended up falling on it getting everyone to laugh.

The sun had started to set and the worry was clear on Steve's face.

"Hey, Stevie, it's getting late and Natalia still needs a bath. I'm going to take her back to the ship." He lied. He wanted to make sure Steve could leave if he wanted to if it was getting to be too much but he didn't want to risk embarrassing him.

Steve looked over thankful for the excuse, "I'll join you." He smiled standing up and grabbing Natalia.

Natalia cried trying to go back to the sand.

"No, Natalia. We're going back." Steve sighed carrying her off.

Bucky turned to the others, "When you guys get back you should come over. We can eat and watch a movie or play a game."

Pepper nodded and he headed off after Steve.

* * *

Arriving at the cabin Steve handed the baby off to Bucky.

"Why don't you take a bath? It'll help." Bucky said trying to be helpful.

Steve nodded, "That actually sounds like a great idea. Thank you."

He kissed Bucky's forehead going to the bathroom to shower.

Bucky sighed quickly changing into some sweat pants before sitting on the bed, "Poor papa." He whispered to Natalia who looked up at him confused.

He kissed her forehead, "Stay here."

Standing up he grabbed Steve some clothes walking into the bathroom to leave it on the table.

Half an hour later the others arrived.

"Hey I think Steve's just going to stay in the bath tonight. I think he fell asleep." He laughed as he put on a movie.

Hearing the movie playing Steve got out of the bath. He changed reminding himself to thank Bucky for the clothes (one of Bucky's sweaters included).

When he went to put it on a letter fell. Bending down he picked it up giving it a quick read.

'If you're feeling up to it or you think it might help there's a little something in the top drawer.

-Bucky'

Confused he opened the drawer letting out a laugh when he saw the hot pink vibrator.

"Oh yeah. I can definitely be up for that." He whispered to himself.

A few minutes into the movie Steve walked out of the bathroom, "Sorry. Lost track of time. Oh, Bucky, Natalia must've gotten the control to her toy and dropped it. I found it on the ground thought I'd give it to you. I don't know where you put it." He smirked handing him the small remote.

Bucky looked at him with wide eyes. He hadn't thought he'd do it it had been more of a joke to make him laugh.

"R-right. I'll just put it away later. Hopefully it's not on." He stuttered.

"I wasn't sure what it was I clicked a button or two but it should be fine. You'd hear the toy talking if it was on."

Bucky nodded grabbing the blanket and placing it over his lap, "We're watching Transformers." He said hiding the remote under the blanket as he pressed the button. He glanced down to check the settings. Three?

' _Oh Stevie come on we both know you can take more then that.'_

The settings went up to ten and if he was being honest of all the ones they owned it had to be his favorite. Not only did it vibrate inside him but the outside handle pressed against his balls vibrating too.

He pushed the button skipping four directly to five and he could see Steve grabbing the arm of the couch his fist going white.

"What the hell happened to your bed?" Natasha asked coming back with a drink from the mini fridge.

"I- I broke it?"

"How?"

"I got a little excited okay?! Don't blame me!" Steve shrugged.

Bucky pressed the button and he jumped off the couch his hands flying to his ass.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked faking sincerity.

Steve gulped, "I forgot my phone in the other room." He lied hurrying away to grab his phone and come back.

"You are so weird." Natasha whispered.

Steve grabbed Bucky's hand giving it a tight squeeze, ' _Lower_.' He mouthed and Bucky smirked doing the exact opposite.

He groaned, his nails digging into Bucky's arm, "Fuck you." He muttered hiding his face in his shoulder.

Bucky played with the remote through the entire movie turning it completely off at certain moments before all the way back to ten.

By the end Steve was sobbing into Bucky's lap from overstimulation pretending to be asleep

"Shh I am right here." Bucky whispered rubbing Steve's back when he heard him groan.

"Is he okay? Does he have an ulcer? Should I call the paramedics?" Clint asked.

"He's fine I think he has a cold and is too much of a dumbass to admit it and stay in bed. I'm just hoping Natalia doesn't catch whatever it is he has." He explained his hand moving from Steve's back to his neck giving it a small squeeze.

Steve huffed annoyed, so maybe this had been a bad idea.

_'Will you quit poking me? I'm going to bite you.'_ He thought to himself and he felt the vibrator go up one and he was biting down on whatever was closest to keep from screaming as he came.

He heard a screech and was rolled down onto the floor. He looked around confused yet thankful for the blanket that had fallen over him when Bucky jumped off the couch.

"Why are you screaming?" He asked.

"You fucking bitch! You bit my dick!" He shouted with a whimper.

"Oh. That was an accident. I thought I was biting your thigh."

"That doesn't make it any better! What the hell were you doing biting me in the first place?!"

"What was I doing? I was sleeping and dreaming about food." He lied.

"You guys dropped the remote." Natasha said picking it up, "Seriously? You didn't even notice you turned it on? Natalia's probably scared out of her mind."

Steve gasped, covering it with a yawn when Natasha turned off the remote and he came again thanking god it was finally over.

"I have bite marks on my dick!" Bucky shouted.

' _Oh. Right. Was he still going at this?'_ Steve thought turning around content.

"Honestly? I'm not sorry. You're a son of a bitch and you deserved it. Had you been kinder I wouldn't have bit you." He sighed wanting to stand up knowing it impossible.

"Get off the ground!"

"I. Can't!"

"Seriously? You're still- you're not but you did... okay. Yeah yeah okay I can have some fun. It was fun. Goodnight." Bucky smiled walking away.

"You're just leaving me here?!" Steve shouted after him.

"Goodnight, Steve." Natasha laughed walking out with the others.

As soon as the door shut Steve sprung to his feet running to the bathroom to change.

"You know I'll gladly help you out! I'm sure I could get at least one more out of you." Bucky smirked from the bed.

Steve sighed walking out of the bathroom, "Keep doing this to me and I'm going to need to buy new underwear."

"Teach you to only own six pairs."

"Six pairs of boxers plus three thongs for missions is more then enough."

"Three? I've only ever seen the blue one."

"There's a purple and a white one too. The white one has little hearts. Have you seen my sketch book? I think I left it at the beach."

Bucky looked around not seeing it anywhere, "You can buy a new one tomorrow. Did you have a lot in it?"

Steve shook his head. He had just bought it so it wasn't that big of a loss in his mind.

"Hey, if you want to draw we have markers and I'm a blank canvas. We'll just wash it off with water when you're done. That means no sexy images. I don't want to walk around with a picture of you with your dick hanging out on my ribs." Bucky laughed pulling his shirt off and laying down so Steve could get to work.

"You're serious?"

He nodded waiting for Steve to grab the stuff.

Steve looked at him still unsure about it, "Fine. But I'm using pen. Markers are too thick."

"Okay."

"Whats the catch?" He asked, wary of Bucky's true intentions as he got his pens ready.

"I get to play with your ass tonight." Bucky smirked and Steve blushed.

"Bucky!"

"It's not my fault the serum gave you such a squishy plump ass built to take dick."

Steve ignored Bucky as he started drawing on his side, "Stop moving!"

"It tickles!" Bucky laughed.

Steve moved onto him holding his arm up above his head as he tried to draw.

"What are you drawing?" He asked looking down.

"Monkey." Steve muttered.

Bucky nodded turning his head to look at Steve's face. He smiled softly. Steve always got so focused when working with his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue between his teeth.

He ended up spending the next hour and a half staring at him while Steve drew all over his body. 

"Okay I'm out of space. I'll be back." Steve said kissing Bucky walking off to get wet paper towels. 

Standing up Bucky walked over to the mirror to look at lathe drawings.

Steve walked over with the wet paper towels, "It's not my best work but they're nice." Steve said as he started cleaning the pen off his body.

"You're dog tags." Bucky mumbled running a finger over the dog tag Steve drew.

He blushed, "Yeah I uh, I'll clean it off sorry."

"No. I- leave it."

Steve looked at him confused.

"Why didn't you draw mine? I'm just asking seeing as it's on me."

"I- well- I don't know if you remember but during the war we swapped dog tags. You said "you can't die without your dog tag." Or something along those lines." Steve explained with a nervous laugh.

"Guess it was true. I was just drawing! I don't- there's not really any meaning behind it if that's what you're worried about." He assured.

"Besides the fact that we're literally married."

"Yeah but like- look I got the wipes just let me wipe it off it's not a big thing." He said trying to wipe it away.

Bucky took a step away from Steve.

"What are you doing? I told you it's nothing I just wanted to draw and that's what I thought of just let me wipe it off!" He begged embarrassed with what he drew. It was stupid and he should've thought it through before hand.

"No." Bucky laughed.

"Why?!"

"What did you do with mine?"

"You were dead. I didn't know whether or not it would be disrespectful to wear them."

"So what did you do with it?"

"They were the most personal thing you had ever given me, Bucky."

"Besides my life."

Steve ignored him, "When I gave you mine in my head I was telling you I love you and you can't fucking die on me. I pretended you were doing the same thing. You weren't and that part is on me because it's almost as inappropriate as imagining my best friend doing me."

"We're literally married!" Bucky shouted confused on where Steve was going.

"You asked me about after the ice I'm telling you about after the ice! I convinced myself that every thought I ever had about you had been wrong and if you had known you would've been disgusted. Not because it was gay but because I thought about having sex with you, I thought about spending my life with you, hearing you say you love me. I made up a Bucky Barnes that for all I knew never existed. And I hated myself for that."

"So you threw them away."

"No. I hid them in a shoe box and before missions I'd hide it in my utility belt. I wasn't wearing them and disrespecting your memory and I tried damn hard not to think about you which is why when hints started dropping that you were alive or hell that you felt the same I thought it was all in my head. I held on to them because I live by the fact that if I'm holding on to your dog tag I can't die. Then you turned out to be alive and I wore them again because if you didn't die wearing mine it must be true. I wear them whenever we're on a mission andwhenever I can but I didn't want to look creepy so when we started dating and I started hiding them again. They're almost always in my pocket and when they're not they're near by. I never leave without them."

"So where are they now?"

Steve sighed walking over to the bid side table. He took out the Bible that all rooms came with and flipped through until he saw the tags.

"Like I said, near by." He whispered handing them to Bucky. He'd understand if he took them away hell he'd understand if he was disturbed that he still had them.

"You can have them back. Like I said I didn't want to seem creepy but I guess I did. Wearing my dead crushes dog tag as if I was wearing a dead fiancées ring. So I guess disgusting also falls in there. I'm sorry. I should've thrown them away or at least given them back to you for all you know I made up the can't die thing. I didn't care about any of it I just knew in a way it was the most romantic thing anyone had done for me and one way or another it showed you cared. I understand if you want me to go. I disrespected your memory and creeped you out and disgusted you all in one go. I hope you at least understand that's not what I was trying to do and I'm sorry I convinced myself you were showing me you loved me with it." He finished looking at the ground.

"No- no Steve! It's sweet and... adorable. Steve I want you to have them I just wanted to know if you did." He whispered dropping them into Steve's hand.

"You don't have to say that. You have every right to be creeped out even if we're married. Let me just clean the pen off you."

"No."

"Bucky come on!"

"I don't have yours okay?! I lost yours and I want them back. I like the drawing, Steve and you're not going to wash it off. Please." He whispered grabbing Steve's hands trying to get him to look at him and see he was being honest.

"You're not creeped out?"

He shook his head with a laugh, "Not at all. If you leave them on tonight I'll let you wash it off tomorrow morning. In the shower."

Steve thought about for a moment before nodding, "Deal." He smiled.

"We're still going to be in California tomorrow but a different city so I understand if you don't want to leave the boat but if you do, I would love to take you out on a date. Early in the morning we'll grab breakfast and go wine tasting, we'll come back to the boat around lunch time because I remember you wanted to talk to Sam about something with when you're going back to work, and then find something else to do at night before it's time to go." Bucky explained his idea for the day.

"I'd like that. I'd like it a lot. But I'm also going on a run with Sam as soon as we get there so I'll just meet you at the IHOP." Steve assured kissing his cheek.

Bucky nodded, "Okay we can do that. As for right now... if you're done drawing that is, we could maybe..." he trailed off smirking.

Steve laughed, "Seriously? I thought you'd never let me near it again seeing as I bit you."

"Right you did do that. How about I go to sleep with a little something in me and see what happens?" He whispered biting his bottom lip as he played with the hem of Steve's shirt.

Steve gulped suddenly out of breath as he started nodding, "Yes. If you want. Yes. Maybe. Please?"

He laughed getting down to his knees to pull out their box of toys.

His eyes went wide as he pulled out a glass plug, "This one."

"That's going to break in you." Steve laughed.

Bucky shook his head putting the box away and standing up, "It won't. Plus it's new and I want to try it out."

"You washed it right?" Steve asked hearing the word new. Bucky rarely washed things after buying them when it came to clothes he hoped it wasn't the same with toys.

"Of course I washed it, Stevie." He scoffed closing the door to the bathroom.

He could hear Bucky groaning lightly as he pushed the plug in and couldn't help but wonder what the point of closing the door was if he was just going to moan like that.

When he finally came out he headed straight to bed, "You coming, baby?" He asked chewing on his thumb as he eyed him up and down.

Steve sighed crawling into bed, "Wake me up and I swear, Buck I don't care how much I love you I will spank you."

"Kinky." Bucky whispered nipping at his jaw.

Bad idea he realized half an hour later. Steve was fast asleep meanwhile he couldn't get over the plug moving around pressing against the walls of his ass pressing unpleasantly when he stayed still. The biggest issue was it didn't move in an unpleasant way when he rocked his hips.

Glancing at Steve he gives in and settles into a rhythm trying to keep the bed from creaking or moving the mattress too much.

His breath comes ragged the plug just barely sending sparks if pleasure through him and if he could just change the angle a little- his cock brushes against the sheets and he bits into his hand to keep from moaning.

His movements must've waken Steve because before he knows it Steve's getting up and walking off to do god knows what. He freezes in hopes Steve either hadn't noticed or would be forgotten in favor of going to check on Natalia or use the restroom.

Steve comes back far too soon for either to be true, something in his hand.

He holds his breath, ' _Please oh please be a Bible. Tell me you read when I'm asleep.'_

"Quit moving, Buck." Steve muttered placing his hand on the small of Bucky's back to flip him over to his stomach.

Bucky moaned arching his back as the plug pressed further in with the movement.

"I'll be good. Please. I promise, Stevie." He whispered.

Steve raised an eyebrow pressing the base of the plug making Bucky moan.

He lifts the brush bringing it down on his cheek with a crack making Bucky cry out into his pillow, the handle hitting the base of the plug making it jerk in him again.

He sobbed clenching around it with a broken moan.

He's still holding Bucky down and he grabs the headboard the brace himself for the next blow.

He brings the brush down and Bucky moans promising he'll behave.

Steve yawns crawling over him back to his side of the bed and snuggling into Bucky. He rubs his ass trying to soothe him before dropping the brush onto the small of Bucky's back.

"Can safe word. Falls and you get another." He mumbled already falling asleep again.

Bucky spends the next hour miserable, his ass stinging and aching as his hole pulsed around the plug, his cock trapped between the mattress and his stomach.

Steve slings his arm around Bucky and it helps enough that in the next few minutes he manages to fall asleep.

The brush falls to the ground with a loud clatter in the silence waking them both up.

Bucky's eyes go wide realizing he had started rocking in his sleep. He tried to clench around the plug letting out a moan as he realized it had slipped out to the widest part holding him wide open.

He's hoping Steve hadn't woken up but knew it too good to be true when Steve grumbles to himself standing up.

He waits for his hand on his back as a warning but it doesn't come.

Steve had walked over to the crib to check on a still perfectly sleeping Natalia.

He smiled down at her grabbing the small blanket and fixing it before walking off to the bathroom.

His eyes scrunched up at the bright light. He yawned drinking his bottle of water he had gotten from the mini fridge before entering the bathroom. He'd wait a minute to see if Bucky would end up falling asleep again.

' _Hey now he can't hold the fact I find him spanking me hot. I heard that moan_.' He thought to himself before walking out.

He walked over and the first thing he noticed was the plug starting to come out.

He grabbed the lube along with the smallest dildo he could find which he didn't do much looking for. He lubed it up and after pushing the plug back into Bucky he carefully pushed the dildo in next to it.

Bucky gasped gripping at the sheets, "Stevie..." he whispered.

Steve lands two blows on each cheek and Bucky sobs, moaning into the pillow his cock leaking uncomfortably.

A knock came from their door and Steve walked over to answer.

"Do you have any idea what time it is are you redecorating or something what's will all the noise?" Natasha asked rubbing her eyes.

Steve left the door open so he could hear her as he went back over to Bucky's side rubbing his ass to make sure it wouldn't bruise.

"I have no idea what time it is, Nat. I'm sorry we'll try to keep it down. Bucky over here keeps misbehaving." He said smacking his ass not hard enough for Natasha to hear but enough for it to sting.

"What'd he do, wet the bed or something?" She scoffed.

Bucky flushed as red as his ass was if not darker at the implication because he's never done that and he doesn't plan on ever doing that.

Steve smirked rolling Bucky over to his side to see the stain of pre-come on the sheets.

"Yeah. Yeah he did." He answered and Bucky turned redder.

"Seriously, Bucky?" Natasha muttered walking away too tired to make sense of what either of them said.

He knows Steve just said it to humiliate him the issue was that it had worked and Natasha had believed him.

Steve kissed his back getting into bed, "Don't do it again, Buck. You want me to spank you you just have to ask." He taunted.

"I am going to kill you in the morning." Bucky growled.

It happens again. He can't help it , there's no way in hell he's going to be able to sleep through the night with a plug inside of him and he has no idea why he'd ever thought it possible and his dumbass of a husband just had to add another thing in there didn't he?

By the time Steve finally wakes up Bucky's moving around angling his body in different ways trying to get there.

He stands up and grabs Bucky's hand pulling him to the bathroom.

"It's too much I need it out." He groaned dropping his head against Steve's shoulder.

"Three times in one night? I thought you said you could handle it, Bucky."

"I thought so but the dumbass thing is always there but never in the right spot and- just fuck me!"

Steve bent Bucky over the counter running his hand down his back, "Honey stop begging. You're making yourself look like a slut." He warned running his hand over his ass.

Bucky flinched his ass still sore.

Steve leaned down pressing soft kisses against the sore skin pulling the plug out.

Bucky gasped letting out a pleased laugh.

Steve chuckled as he pushed his own boxers down grabbing the lube.

"You're all lose and ready. I bet I could fit my whole fist inside if I really wanted." He whispered.

Bucky whined trying to hide his head in his arms.

He lined up and easily sunk into Bucky who moaned like a dog in heat.

Grabbing Bucky's shoulder he started pounding into him not bothering to let him adjust.

Bucky drops his head against the cold sink thankful for it for holding him up as Steve fucks him.

Steve wraps his hand around Bucky's cock and a few strokes is all it takes for Bucky to come moaning his name.

Steve moaned biting into Bucky's shoulder as he came.

He pulled out helping Bucky stand up.

Bucky smiled loopy, "I love you." He giggled falling against his chest.

Steve laughed picking him up bridal style, "How about we get you to bed."


	8. Day 23-24: California

The next morning Steve woke up to an empty bed. Confused he stood up looking around to see Bucky was no where in sight but Natalia was still in her crib.

He grabbed his phone calling Bucky afraid he had done something.

"Hey, you're awake." Bucky answered with a smile. He was just walking out of a shop. He had gone to get Steve a gift and do a little something for himself.

"Did I do something last night? Because I mean it was your idea and you didn't ask me not to or safe word out but you said we'd shower together this morning and we have a date but you're not here and please tell me you didn't get shot." Steve rushed out panic growing by the second.

"You didn't do anything. It was good. My ass still hurts. That's a first." Bucky laughed.

"I don't want to do that again. I don't like hurting you. I like it when you do it I just don't like being on the giving end." Steve said and Bucky could hear the pout in his voice.

"Okay." He said keeping his voice sweet, "I know I promised you a shower but I had something I wanted to do before our date. I'll be back on the ship in ten minutes if you can wait for your run."

"Yeah I can wait. Hurry though? I miss you."

"I miss you too, Steve." Bucky laughed hanging up the phone. He smiled to himself. Poor Steve.

As soon as Bucky walked through the door Steve sprung to his feet happy, "You're back!"

Bucky laughed, "I got you something. And I have three more gifts. Two I still have to pick up and I'm trying to decide when to give you the third."

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, "You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know. I wanted to." He said pulling out the dog tags, "I noticed the chain was broken so I bought a new one." He explained.

Steve looked at them confused. He had assumed they would just move past it, "You fixed it?"

Bucky nodded, "I liked what you said about not being able to die and then I also thought of how you lost your ring and so you could wear this in the meantime. So I'm always with you in a way. Is it stupid?"

He shook his head, "It's not stupid. It was very sweet."

"I did something else." He said before pulling his shirt off to show the plastic wrap where Steve's drawing had been.

"What is it?"

"I got them tattooed. Because I don't have the actual thing."

Steve looked at him confused, "You did what?"

His smile fell, "I- I thought you'd like it. Was I meant to ask? Do you not like it? If you don't like it I can make an appointment to get it removed. I liked it. I even... I even put Natalia's little initial on it. I actually helped her draw it so it's like she did it." He laughed.

"It's creepy. Oh my god I creeped you out." He whispered.

"No it's not. I'm just surprised you'd want my art- my _name_ \- on you." Steve said grabbing his hands.

Bucky grinned. He had been terrified Steve wouldn't like it.

"Is it sore?" Steve asked reaching out out to touch the red skin.

Bucky shrugged, "Eh."

Sam walked in stopping when he saw the plastic wrap on Bucky, "Holy shit dude." He laughed.

"Shit right our run." Steve muttered. He kissed Bucky with a smile.

"I'll meet you at IHOP." He added following Sam out.

Natalia woke up crying and Bucky rushed over to take care of her.

"Oh baby girl what's wrong?" He whispered setting her down on the table.

She cried her hand going to her face.

"Ah." He whispered and moving her hand away checking her mouth to find a little tooth finally starting to poke out of her gums.

He laughed, "Natty look at this! Your first tooth is finally coming out!" He said kissing her face.

"Oh honey no wonder you're crying it must hurt."

Rummaging through the baby bag he pulled out a teething ring.

"It'll still hurt but it should feel better." He promised placing it in her hand, "And as soon as that tooth completely comes out to play you are going to get one delicious burger with bacon and extra extra cheesy cheese."

"Eey-eey-eey." She giggled.

"Yep. Cheesy cheese. And if you're good? A cupcake."

"Uh-ay!"

"Cupcake. Can you say... daddy?" He asked.

She stared up at him, silent as a mouse.

"Okay that's fine. Daddy is a very hard word to say. How about papa?"

"Ah-ah."

"Bitch." He muttered.

"I-b!"

He laughed. Of course. She couldn't say daddy but she could say bitch just fine.

"Natalia?"

"Ah-aya."

"Becca."

"Eh-ah?"

Bucky smiled, "Yeah. Your Aunty Becca. She loves you so much. She's just really old and I don't want you seeing her like that. Brittle and sick. You would've loved her so much and she would've been so good to you. There's also two more you had but they're already gone. Gracie was the youngest. I saw her last when she was just seven. Then Mary who was twelve. I did get to see Becca one more time though when she was in her twenties maybe thirties and then again here. Oh how they would've loved you." He laughed.

Natalia reached up for him, "Eh- oh- ay."

"Yeah it is okay. Don't even get me started on your grandma Sarah. That's papa's mom. And your grandma Winnie- that's my mom. Technically her name is Winifred. She wouldn't have been as excepting as grandma Sarah she and my father were more uptight and with certain beliefs but she would've loved you just as much as Steve's mom once she could accept it."

It was pointless to tell her everything. It wasn't like she'd remember. Sometimes it was just easier speaking to someone who just always looked like they understood.

His phone rang and he picked up, "Bucky Barnes-Rogers speaking."

"Mr. Barnes-Rogers hi I'm Ronnie I'm calling from the airport?"

"In New York?"

"No, in Santa Barbara, California." The woman laughed.

He laughed, "Right. How can I help you?"

"Your dog and cat are arriving in ten minutes. Should we be expecting you or your husband?"

"Me. I'll be right over." He hung up and sighed.

"We're going to go pick up Stark and Widow." He whispered picking Natalia up and heading out.

* * *

Steve slowed his running and Sam stopped confused as he turned around.

"Getting old?"

Steve laughed shaking his head, his hands on his hips, "Yeah. I also forgot my coffee this morning so I'm going to go get some. We just passed a Starbucks. I'll catch up you keep going."

Sam nodded running off.

Steve broke into a run in the opposite direction going into the woods. He hid behind a tree as he pulled out his phone to call Bucky.

"You're on speaker. Natalia and I are in the car." Bucky warned when he answered.

"I don't care just talk to me." Steve said connecting his AirPods- Tony had bought them. He still wasn't completely sure how they worked without the wire.- and threw the phone to the side pushing his pants down.

He blamed Bucky. He had him ride him what did he expect? Now whenever he ran his body would bounce like it did when he was riding him.

"Just... talk? Okay Natalia and I-"

"Not about Natalia." He whispered wrapping his hand around himself.

"O...kay. We need a new bed. Housekeeping came soon after you left and the fear on the poor woman's face I felt so bad."

Steve grunted, "I'll- I'll ask when I get back."

"Oh god." He whispered twisting his hand.

"Are you in a fight? Wait that doesn’t make sense.”

"Do you want me to be in a fight? You gonna spank me if I get in a fight? Fuck me? Punish me if I cum before you tell me to?" He panted.

Bucky sputtered grateful for the red light as he hurried to take the phone off speaker and put it up to his ear, "I-I told you you're on speaker! What the hell are you doing?"

"Fuck couldn't help myself, Bucky you just make me feel so good." He grunted letting out a moan as he came.

He sighed shaking his head clear as he cleaned off and pulled his pants back on, "Thanks for that really got me going. Love you and I will see you in an hour."

"What just happened?!" Bucky asked as Steve hung up.

He shook his head as he parked in the parking garage, "I can't leave a baby in a car. How am I meant to do this?"

He picked her up and they headed into the airport.

"Natalia honey I need you to hold on tight because I'm going to have to hold Stark's leash and I don't want to drop you." He laughed.

After he let the woman from the phone know he had arrived he waited by a door.

A man walked over with Stark and Widow.

Natalia giggled reaching out for Stark, "Ah-ey!"

"Yeah it is a doggy. It's Stark. You remember him right. We haven't been gone too long have we?" Bucky joked grabbing the leash, Widow climbing onto his shoulder.

Natalia whacked at Widow whose tail kept falling into her face as Bucky walked.

"Widow leave her alone." He laughed as he strapped Natalia back into her car seat and Widow crawled into her lap.

She hissed at him.

Rolling his eyes Bucky helped Stark into the front seat taking off the leash.

He quickly texted Steve to let him know he'd be a little late before he got back to driving. He had decide the best option would be to take widow and Stark back to the boat instead of into IHOP.

Widow meowed jumping off Natalia.

Natalia screamed and Bucky hit the breaks.

"Natalia!" He shouted turning around glad for the red light.

Natalia giggled at how mad Bucky seemed and bubbled started popping all through the car.

Bucky sighed reaching down to grab her toy in hopes of distracting her instead of hearing her scream.

"Ugh." He grunted as Stark jumped on him, his paws hitting the horn, "Stark!"

Huffing he lifted his head, his hair falling in his face.

"Tell me you can just zap us home." He muttered to Natalia. He had not been expecting to be attacked by a baby, a dog, and a cat all in one go.

When he opened his eyes again he was no longer in the car but standing at the door of the compound.

"Oh come on!" He shouted stomping his foot, "I said home! I've never even been here, Natalia!" He whined storming in.

He walked into the building looking around for someone to help.

"Happy? Happy are you here? My baby teleported me!" He yelled searching the floor.

* * *

Steve walked into the IHOP and got a booth as he sat down to wait for Bucky. He wait twenty minutes before finally giving in and ordering a coffee. Maybe he got held up in traffic.

Another ten minutes passed before he finally took out his phone to call.

"Hey, Buck, you're not here. I've been waiting half an hour. Never been stood up so this is a first. Am I meant to just leave or sit here and eat alone in my own shame? Call me back. Or don't. Whatever you want. No big deal." He laughed nervously before hanging up.

Worry creeped into him. Bucky wouldn't just leave him hanging there had to be a reason. Maybe something was wrong. What if he was kidnapped and that's why he hadn't answered the phone?!

Just then his phone rang.

"Sorry I missed your call, Stevie, I'm going to be a little later then I thought... I'll try to get there within the hour. I didn't mean to stand you up." Bucky assured still looking around for help. In a world of mutants and gods not one person could send him back to California?

"You're okay though? We're okay?"

"Yeah, baby. We're okay." He whispered hanging up.

He walked upstairs and passed Tony's lab, doubling back when he spotted someone.

"Hey!" He shouted pointing at him.

Strange turned around, "James right?"

"Who's asking?"

"Strange."

"Excuse me?"

"My name."

"Oh. Yes, yes it is. Do you by any chance happen to know of a thing a majob? Or maybe a whats-a-ga-looza?"

"A what?"

"My baby teleported me back to New York from California. Do you know of a way I can get back in less then an hour? I left Steve at IHOP."

"Who?"

"Steve? Captain America? Who are you?"

"I just came to get something Stark took. I can send you back."

Bucky looked down at the baby carrier as if considering the offer, "How?"

"Teleportation?"

"Me, my baby, my dog, and my cat?"

"Yeah." Strange answered opening up a portal.

Bucky hummed looking from her portal to Strange, "I have killed many people. I can break a headboard with my bare hand. If you're putting my child in danger by having me step through that portal do not hesitate to believe I will come back and rip you in half."

Strange nodded waiting for Bucky to go through the portal.

Bucky stepped through with the baby and the animals, now standing in the middle of IHOP.

"What the fuck?" Steve laughed.

He shrugged walking over, "Surprise? Natalia teleported me back to New York. After I got Stark and Widow. They're here to help you out. Make you feel better."

Steve smiled pulling Bucky down enough to kiss him, "That is so sweet." He whispered.

Bucky smiled scooting into the booth, "Sit." He added to Stark who sat down at the head of the table.

"Good boy."

Steve ignored Bucky grabbing Natalia, "Baby girl you can not go around taking daddy back home. I need him here otherwise I don't get to have any fun this vacation."

Bucky chuckled petting Widow, "Oh I am sure you can have some fun yourself. You already did."

Widow purred crawling around Bucky.

"This. I missed this."

Steve laughed, "You missed our cat crawling all over you?"

"It's like a massage. I feel more loved with the cat then my husband. That should tell you something."

"Like what? You want more hugs? You want me to cuddle you and hold you all day?" Steve teased.

"Yeah. After everything I've been through? I deserve to live in bed with my husband for the rest of my life."

"Why don't we head back to the ship? I don't think the manager will enjoy pets in their establishment." Steve asked standing up.

Promising Bucky he'd make him pancakes once on the ship he paid for his coffee and took Starks leash to help him out.

"Thank you. For bringing Stark and Widow."

"Of course." Bucky smiled leaning against Steve and entangling their fingers together.

Widow purred crawling from his shoulder to the top of his head and over to Steve's.

Natalia babbled to herself throwing up her toy at Widow who hissed hitting it back.

"Natalia! Widow! Quit it!" Steve ordered and they both stayed still.

Bucky chuckled, "Our cat is jealous of our daughter and our daughter of our cat."

"Did you give Strange something of mine?" Tony asked when Bucky walked onto the ship.

"Strange... Strange... Strange... oh! The guy with the cloak and the magic hands!"

Tony nodded.

"Yeah he helped me get back. Least I could do no need to thank me." Bucky answered waving his hand at Tony whose eye twitched.

Placing his hands on Bucky's shoulders he pushed him away, "Let's get you to our room before Tony kills you." He whispered.

As they arrived at the cabin Steve unhooked the leash letting Stark run into the room and onto the couch making himself at home.

"Come on, Widow, you too." He added taking the cat off his head and placing her on the ground.

She purred rubbing against Steve's leg.

"Hey come on now that's my husband there!" Bucky joked pretending to be annoyed as he set Natalia down on the play mat with her toys.

He grabbed Steve's hand pulling him into their bedroom with a grin, "You promised me pancakes but I'm willing to compromise."

"Oh?"

"I don't enjoy syrup. You on the other hand? You love it which I'm willing to accept." He said grabbing the maple syrup and pouring some into a spoon.

Steve grabbed his hand, stopping him before he could eat it.

"You want a kiss so badly you can just ask. I'll still make the pancakes." He laughed pulling him flush against his body.

Bucky grinned dropping the spoon behind his back as he wrapped his arms around his neck closing the space.

"Well now, I do say you taste delicious." Steve murmured licking his lips.

He laughed pushing his husband away, "Come on now when don't I? Make me my pancakes. I'm sure Stark and Widow miss those too."

Steve scoffed walking over to the small kitchen taking out the batter.

Natalia babbled riding into the room on Stark's back.

Smiling to himself Bucky picked her up, "Natalia you don't need a broken arm do you?"

She shook her head bringing her hand up to her mouth and blowing him a kiss.

He gasped, "I am a married man, Natalia how dare you you're going to make me blush."

Steve joined in in his daughters laughter, "Daddy sure is silly isn't he? Don't worry, honey, I don't mind sharing. There's more then enough of him to go around."

"The sooner we have a second kid the better. I need someone on my team this isn't fair." Bucky muttered.

"In that case how does a... Leo baby sound? Or maybe Virgo if you prefer to wait more."

"Leo sounds like a fine name for a boy. Virgo sounds like you want them to be bullied boy or girl."

Steve laughed, "Bucky a baby born in August or September. Leo and Virgo are zodiac signs."

"Oh. That makes more sense."

Babbling Natalia whacked Bucky's face.

"You're right. I am stupid." Bucky agreed as Steve set down their pancakes.

Bucky grinned taking a bite, "Delicious as always." He murmured pulling Steve into his lap.

Steve smiled back, "I try."

He hummed appreciatively kissing his neck, "Only thing that could make them better would be eating them off your body. Although I'd have to eat pretty fast or else they'd burn given how hot you are."

Steve chuckled and Bucky pulled away with a sigh.

"Okay okay I admit. That one was a little cheesy."

"Let me see." He whispered to Natalia who he had set down on the high chair.

He leaned over flicking her chin so she'd open her mouth.

"Sorry, honey. Tooth's still too far in. Can't risk you choking."

Natalia frowned biting his finger.

"I'm not changing my mind." He said pulling his finger away.

"Are you going to eat?"

Steve shook his head, "I have to meet Sam for lunch in ten minutes. There's no point in eating now."

"Ten minutes? I was hoping we'd have time for our wine tasting date and some more for more... R-rated activities."

"R-rated? Are we going to be on tv?"

"If you want to be sure. I'm not so sure the public would appreciate watching their hero getting railed but I'm not one to say no to you." He pushed his plate away and picked up Natalia.

He took her out to the living room, "Why don't you watch some tv for a bit." He whispered kissing her cheek and turning on the tv before walking off to Steve.

He sighed picking him up as if it was a burden.

"You're a stubborn ass, you know that right? Now what am I meant to do with you when I've only got you with me for ten minutes." He pondered clicking his tongue dropping him on the bed and crawling onto him.

"I could kiss you here." He whispered kissing his forehead.

"Or here." His left cheek.

"Or maybe here." His right.

"Or more to the middle." His nose.

Steve whined leaning up to try and get him to kiss his lips.

"Ah ah ah." Bucky whispered grabbing his neck to hold him still, "You want something you ask. Until you're ready to ask I could kiss your ear." He added nipping at his earlobe.

"Mouth." Steve gasped.

"Thought you'd never ask." Bucky whispered finally kissing him truly.

Steve pulled away panting a few minutes later.

"Okay okay enough. I have to go. I promised Sam I'd have lunch with him!" He said as Bucky tried to kiss him again.

"You can't just leave! You already got me all hot and bothered." Bucky whined looking down at his lap where his hard on was pressing into his jeans before back at Steve.

Steve looked down, his eyes glazing over.

"No. I promised." He said shaking his head as he stood up.

"Fine. I'll finish myself off. Don't come back hoping for a helping hand!" Bucky huffed crossing his arms as Steve tried to leave.

He turned over to his husband with a smirk.

"I don't like that look. Get that look off your face." Bucky said worriedly.

He walked over to Bucky. Lifting his head with a finger he got Bucky to look him in the eyes.

"You. Are not. Going to cum. Unless I specifically say so." He whispered and Bucky's eyes fluttered shut.

"Says who? I got too perfectly working hands." Bucky whispered back.

"Says me. You ain't gonna touch yourself either. You can sit here and wait til I get back from my lunch. I'm meant to go back to work in a week and while I doubt they'll be a mission I need to be sure the place still stands that while I may be going back Sam is still going to be Captain until I think I'm ready for that and Natalia." Steve growled dropping his hand walking to the door and away.

'If I wear a glove technically I'm not touching it.' Bucky thought to himself as he thrust up towards the pillow he had grabbed in hopes of some friction to ease the tension.

'No no. There's something I'm missing here. There has to be.'

He groaned annoyance at Steve as he flopped down face first into the mattress.

His head shot up as he got an idea.

He pulled his shirt off finding it would only get in the way and undid his pants pushing them to his knees.

'Stupid jeans. Always getting in the way.'

He gave a testing rub against the bed, his mouth falling open.

Oh.

Shame flooded just body, his face burning as if it was on fire, imagining Steve walking in.

He squirmed, little whimpers escaping his mouth at the feeling as he basically humped the edge of the bed.

His thoughts tease him with the idea of Steve walking in having forgotten his wallet and looking at him with disappointment. He can practically hear his voice, clicking his tongue as he went on about what a naughty slut Bucky was.

Okay maybe Steve wouldn't say it. He sure would if things were the other way around but Steve can barely bring himself to insult Bucky.

He let out a loud moan wondering how he could possibly be getting off by humping the bed.

Digging his nails into the bed he sobbed a moan.

He panted lifting his head and grabbing a pillow.

He moved to the middle of the bed pulling the pillow between his thighs, spreading his legs as wide as he could his jeans still on, humping into the pillow thanking god the ships pillows were as hard as the ones hotels used.

His face heat up in humiliation as he looked down at where his cock was trying to burst out of his underwear knowing if Steve were there he'd smack his ass and call him a slut, ordering him to agree: to say he's a slut.

Mewling in desperation he whimpered out.

"Ima slut." He whimpered craving Steve as he thought of how if his husband were there he'd smack his ass again and tell him to repeat.

"I'm a slut. I'm you're slut." He sobbed.

He spread his legs out further hearing the break of stitches that belonged to his pants.

'Fucking slut. Gonna rip your pants as you beg to be fucked.' The voice of the Winter Soldier rang in his head as he wailed out for Steve.

He sobbed wanting nothing more then to cum knowing he's just edging himself on by humping the pillow, begging for Steve.

'A messy whore. What would those people you call friends think if the could see you now?' The voice continued, the humiliation he had been feeling getting 100 times worse.

"I'm a messy whore." He sobbed.

'A messy whore who deserves to be punished.'

"A messy whore who-who deserves to be punished. Deserves to be put over Steve's lap and spanked." He agreed with the voice in his head, humiliation seeping down his spine. God he wanted to die. It wasn't even happening and he could still feel the humiliation as if it was real.

'You'd like that wouldn't you? Hydra fucked you up so bad you're ready to be spanked and fucked in public.'

"Stevie!" He sobbed.

The cotton rubbed against his cock, too much yet not enough at the same time.

'Are you gonna make a hole in the bed? How would you explain that to the front desk? 'I need a new bed because I fucked a hole into this one' Let's not forget you still need a new headboard.'

He bucked into the pillow sobbing Steve's name over and over again.

Steve walked back into the cabin.

"Buck? You still in the room? I got Nat to watch the kid." He asked.

Hearing no response he walked to the bedroom door.

His eyes widened at the sight of his husband thrusting down against the pillow- Steve's pillow -head thrown back, sobbing his name.

"Holy Fuck..." Steve breathed.

Bucky couldn't hear too busy in his head.

Steve smirked walking over and grabbing Bucky's hips.

He paralyzed in fear not knowing whether to hope it was Steve or hope it wasn't.

Steve lifts him a few inches up off the pillow he had been crushing and he lets out a broken sob unable to register anything but desperation.

His own noises were the first thing that broke through his mind sending the Soldier's voice to the back of his head, hearing his absolute shameful wails, moans, whimpers, and sobs along with Steve's name spilling out of him.

He went silent, his cock throbbing in his underwear as Steve lowered him back on the pillow with a smirk waiting to see if he'd start humping it again.

He looked up at his husband, turning a darker shade of red unable to help himself as he started working back to the state he was in right before Steve had walked in.

"H-h-nnnhmph-hi, Stevie." He moaned biting down on his lip as he dropped his head forward, "I-uh-I missed you. Has it really already been... been forty minutes?"

"Not enough to wait. I thought I warned you. I cut lunch short didn't want to leave you wanting." Steve smirked crossing his arms over his chest. "What're you doing?"

"I followed your rules. Hand never touched my cock and I haven't cum yet. Just havin' some fun."

"Havin' some fun huh? Oh I know just what you are." He whispered.

"Say it." Bucky panted.

"You're a fucking slut." Steve growled, lips grazing Bucky's ear, "Dragging this poor thing-" he gave Bucky's cock a squeeze earning a sob from the man. "-all over the pillow like a desperate slut. Your cock hard and aching, huh, you fucking whore?" He asked.

"Slut. Whore. Oh god I'm so filthy." Bucky sobbed.

"Completely filthy." Steve growled his hand snapping Bucky's underwear against his leaking cock.

He screamed dropping his head on to the mattress, ashamed at how hot it made him.

"What's got you so worked up today?" Steve asked.

Getting no answer he gave the waistband another snap.

"I.... 'magine... fuck... me." Bucky tried forming a sentence.

"Give it to you so good you go limp even when I'm not there now too yeah, slut? That what you're trying to say? You like me degrading you? You like being called my slut? My cock whore? My toy?"

Bucky nodded.

"Answer me. Why are you acting like such a slut today?"

Bucky rambled on uselessly about being helpless, being a slut. About how he humped the bed before he got to the pillow and what a mess he was. He rambled on about how aching his cock was begging him to fuck him before he messes the pillow. About how bad he's behaved and deserves to be punished.

"You wanna be put over my lap and spanked? Think that's what you deserve?" Steve asked.

Steve grabbed the pillow pulling it out from under Bucky.

"Turn around. All fours. Now."

God it had been a while since Steve had topped.

Bucky scrambled doing just as Steve had ordered.

"You really are a slut. You like this huh? You'd like it if I fucked toy and filled you up. To cum in you twice so it's dripping down your thighs. I bet you'd want me to plug you back up so you could stay full." He muttered when he saw the metal plug in Bucky.

"Yes!" Bucky moaned as Steve smacked his ass.

"Such a pretty cock whore." He whispered with a smack between each word. "How about we set some rules? You can't cum without my permission, can't touch yourself or use any of those pretty little toys, and no getting smart on me again."

"Yes, Captain." Bucky smirked spreading his legs.

"So needy, Buck. Good thing I came home when I did or you would've made a mess of our bed."

"Yes, Captain." Bucky repeated.

"I don't know if I should give it to you. You've been naughty tonight, sergeant."

"Please," he whined, "you were gone so long, Captain."

'You want him to fuck you like hydra did? Right in front of everyone?'

"Did you rip your pants?" Steve asked unable to help his laugh.

"I- i didn't have time to take them off." Bucky muttered looking down at the mattress.

Steve clicked just tongue, "Naughty naughty." He said slipping his hand into Buckys underwear.

"Pretty little panties you have on. Did you want me to treat you like a girl?" He asked with a smirk.

"It's laundry day and you know it. Plus they're yours." He scoffed with a gasp as Steve rubbed the top of his finger around the head of his cock.

He pulled his hand out and Bucky almost threw a fit before the finger went up his ass.

He moaned trying to decide whether to push back against his hand or down against the bed.

He wanted to cry, overwhelmed with the feeling of pain and pleasure.

"It's too much, Steve." He sobbed, "I need to cum."

Steve reached around and palmed at Bucky's cock.

Bucky moaned out Steve's name as he came.

Steve let go pulling his fingers out before flipping Bucky over so he was on his back.

"Fuck, Bucky I wanna walk in on more sights like that." Steve panted stroking himself.

Bucky whimpered as his husband crawled onto him still stroking himself, enjoying the show.

"I really liked... liked the idea from before. Fuck me and plug me up." Bucky said biting his lip.

Steve gasped tightening his grip on his own dick to keep from coming right away.

"I don't need a dumb slut like you telling me that. You're gonna take what I give you and then you're going to thank me for it." He grunted speeding his hand up, "How many times do you think I should cum in you? Two? Three? Oh a slut like you would love that." He said before placing his lips on Bucky's.

He let out one last grunt, spilling over his hand onto Bucky's stomach.

He pulled away resting his forehead against Bucky's.

"Love you. We're good? You're not trash. You're not a slut." He assured.

Bucky smiled, "I know that. Thank you for asking though." He whispered.

"Didn't even get in ya." Steve laughed sliding off Bucky and into the bed next to him.

"The Winter Soldier. He comes out sometimes when we're... when I'm..."

He frowned propping up on his arm to look at Bucky, "Okay. Is it something I do?"

Bucky shook his head, "He just comes to the surface to remind me I'm not much more then what hydra did."

"Bucky..." Steve whispered reaching for his hand.

He smiled over at Steve, "Steve it's fine. Honest. I'm more then that. You remind me every day. I'm your husband. I'm a father."

"That you are. I low key wish we could go back just one more time so I could introduce my ma to Natalia."

"Well that's perfect seeing as I would love to tell my mother-in-law I finally got you into bed." Bucky smirked.

"And then you say stuff like that and lord help me I am glad she's dead."

"Steve come on it's your mother! I'm fucking scared of her you think I'd actually tell her I have unprotected sex with her son and call him my dirty little slut? Sarah! It's so good to see you again! I've been busy pounding into your son every day of my life."

Steve laughed, "Okay okay I get it. So what did you plan for our date? Or are we just going to talk about my ma?"

Bucky sighed standing up and changing, "Let's go. Natalia has to stay here though."

"Why?"

"You don't bring your daughter on dates." He laughed grabbing Steve's hand.

"We're just going for a walk. If we see something to do we'll go in."

Steve nodded standing up.

After getting ready, and paying Lila to watch Natalia, he followed Bucky out.

They walked down the street walking by the stores and looking around.

"I really should replace my ring soon." Steve whispered as they passed a jewelry store.

"We'll probably have to wait until we get back if you want the same type of ring."

"Right."

Bucky smiled letting go of his hand, "Wait here."

"Where are you-"

"Just trust me and wait here." He laughed rushing away before Steve could ask again.

He walked into a small bakery on the corner of the street.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Hi!" A small woman responded.

"Can I get two red velvet cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting?"

She nodded getting two cupcakes out and placing them into a box.

"Thank you." He said paying for them.

Bucky walked back to where he had left Steve but didn't see him.

He gulped looking around awkwardly as he searched for Steve.

Steve walked out of a shop and Bucky ran over.

"I told you to wait."

"I didn't know how long you'd be I just went into the store."

"I thought you had left." He chuckled looking at the ground.

Steve frowned, "Bucky I'm not leaving. I just thought Natalia would like these and had to buy them." He whispered showing Bucky a pair of tiny shoes he had bought.

When Bucky smiled Steve leaned over kissing his forehead, "So where'd you go?"

He held out the box opening it up, "Cupcakes! I wasn't sure what you'd want so I got red velvet."

"They look delicious. Thank you." He said taking one of the two out of the box.

"Are you not going to eat yours?" He wondered seeing Bucky make no move to grab it.

He shook his head, "Later. I promised Natalia a cupcake if she behaved so she'll get a bite when we get back."

They walked for an hour before turning back to head back to the ship.

"You want to stop at the sex club?" Bucky joked with a smirk nodding over at a building.

Steve laughed playing along, "Only if I get to fuck you on the stage."

Bucky looked at Steve with wide eyes in shock only causing him to laugh more.

"Y-y-you- w-w-wha- bu- I-" He stammered still staring.

"Honey close your mouth. You don't want a fly getting in." Steve smiled kissing Bucky's cheek.

————————————————————————

"Thank you Lila." Steve said taking Natalia.

He smiled walking away with her, "Daddy's waiting for us in our cabin with a little gift for you."

Natalia giggled hugging Steve as best as she could as he carried her back to the cabin.

Bucky smiled when Steve walked in.

"Lila already gave her a bath and changed her so the only parenting we have to do is feed her." Steve explained as he took a seat.

The lights started flickering and they looked around confused.

"Natalia you're not doing this are you?" Bucky laughed.

She looked up at him as if offended sat the implication.

The lights flickered to a stop before shutting down.

Tensing up Steve reached out trying to grab Bucky's hand.

Bucky grabbed Steve's hand, "Hey hey it's okay. The light probably just died. Stay with Natalia I'll grab a candle it's in the bathroom but you need to grab my lighter in the bed side table." He whispered standing up and going to find the candle.

Steve gulped holding onto Natalia, "We'll be okay. It's just the lights. It's not like the boat is sinking. Oh god we're going to die."

"No one is dying, Steve. Not today." Bucky assured as he lit the candle.

He placed his hands on Steve's face making sure he looked at him and only him.

"You're safe. We are safe. The boat is not going down. If you can wait here I can go see what's going on and get some more candles."

"Don't leave me." Steve pleaded grabbing his hand.

"Baby come on. We won't know what's going on unless one of us goes."

"I'll go with you then!"

"Steve if by chance it's not just our room there aren't going to be candles out in the hall. I can't hold your hand the whole way. At least if you're in here I know you have Natalia to at least calm yourself down." Bucky whispered.

"I can't go down again I'll die this time, Bucky! It's- it's scary. And I can't lose you or Natalia or Natasha or Wanda. I can't lose my family again and I can't freeze for another decade!"

Bucky frowned, "You're not going to freeze and we're not losing our family. It's a power outage. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes you can start freaking out."

He kissed his forehead before walking out.

Steve's breathing sped up and he tightened his hold on Natalia, "We're okay. We're going to be okay." He whispered looking around the room.

Bucky turned on his phones flashlight walking around trying to find anyone.

"Bucky! What the hells going on? Natalia escape?" Natasha laughed.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Steve's back in the cabin with Natalia." Bucky responded as they walked searching for a worker.

"There has unfortunately been a power outage but we have people working on it right now. The ship is not sinking!" A worker explained to everyone.

Bucky sighed, "Great. If I go back with that news Steve's just going to freak out even more." He muttered.

"What's going on with Steve?"

"He's just upset about the lights. Don't worry. Natalia's afraid of the dark."

"Natalia? The one who's barely seven months old?"

"Okay I am. Being stuck in a dark room with just your thoughts will do that to you." Bucky smirked walking away.

Before heading back to the cabin he stopped by the gift shop to buy some more candles.

"Bucky where's Steve? I'm going down to help." Tony asked shining his flashlight at him.

Squinting Bucky answered, "We couldn't just leave Natalia alone. I have to take these candles back I can't help and neither can he if that's what you were going to ask."

"Okay. I'm down below if you need me."

He nodded paying for the candles and headed to find Steve.

The phone alarm rang signaling the end of fifteen minutes and Steve screeched jumping off the bed hurrying to turn it off.

Having heard the scream Bucky ran in, "What? What happened?"

"The-the phone." Steve said grabbing Bucky's arm and pointing at the phone which was still ringing.

Bucky frowned turning the alarm off, "You're okay. Look, I bought candles." He smiled dumping out the bag. He grabbed the lighter turning the candles on and placing them around the room.

"It's not perfect but I hope it's enough. Until the lights are fixed." He said once he finished setting the candles around.

"It's good for now." Steve smiled grabbing Bucky's hand.

Bucky grinned, "Good."

* * *

Bucky woke up before Steve the next morning. It didn't come to much of a surprise to him. After the events of last night Steve couldn't fall asleep, too in his head about the ship sinking.

Careful not to wake Steve, Bucky stood up placing a pillow in his place.

Steve sighed with a small smile snuggling into the pillow.

He blew out all but one candle, in case Steve woke up before waking Natalia up.

"Good morning, Natalia." He smiled walking into the dining room with her.

"Papa bought you a little present yesterday." He added grabbing the bag.

He pulled out the small pair of black and white shoes.

Natalia coo'd reaching out for them.

Laughing he handed her the shoes before taking out what was left from his cupcake.

"I believe I made you a promise." He smiled placing it on a plastic plate so she could eat it.

Steve woke up with a scream shooting up and searching the dimly lit room for his husband.

"No no no it happened again." He said pulling at his hair.

Bucky frowned, "Stay. Eat your cupcake." He whispered before going to Steve.

He walked over and placed his hands on his shoulders taking a seat on the bed, "Steve, love, you were asleep. I'm right here." He assured.

Steve turned around calming once he made sure it was Bucky and he wasn't imaging.

"Oh Bucky I thought it happened again. I just... we were on the deck and suddenly the boat was sinking and-and I watched everyone die in front of me and I couldn't do anything." He explained.

Bucky nodded letting him talk, "How about you stay in bed today? Eat ice cream, watch tv, I'll even make you some soup. Just take a sick day. I'll watch over you."

"I'm not a child." Steve grumbled crossing his arms with a pout.

Smiling Bucky kissed his cheek, "No but you are adorable. I love you and that means taking care of you when you can't take care of yourself."

"Fine."

"Good. I'll go get your bubble bath started. You want a toy ship too?" He teased.

Steve scoffed pushing Bucky off the bed.

He laughed. After starting the bath he went back to the dining room to check on Natalia.

Natalia blabbered her hands and face covered in white frosting with light specks of the red cake.

"Lesson number 1: teach Natalia manners. We don't eat with our hands and when we do we don't smear it all over our face." He sighed cleaning Natalia's face and hands.

"Owwy."

"I know honey. Just be glad grandpa isn't here. He would have your behind." Bucky muttered.

"Your father hit you?" Steve asked leaning against the doorframe.

"Oh I uh I didn't know you were there. It's no big deal."

"Why didn't I know?"

"Because it's no big deal. He had an image to uphold so eating with my hands was inappropriate. So was playing tea or dolls with my little sisters even when they begged and begged me to play. He was a cold man Steve. I was the only son and he didn't exactly enjoy the idea that I may be gay. Moving in with you was something I had always wanted to do but it was also an opportunity to show him up." Bucky shrugged before turning back to Natalia.

"I am so so so so so glad you will never ever meet that terrible man. You can be whoever and whatever you want okay princess?" He whispered kissing the top of her head.

"I'm going to go take my bath." Steve said offering him a smile before walking away.

He took Natalia over to the changing table changing her before putting her in the play crib, "Daddy will be back okay? Bye bye." He waved.

"I I!" Natalia grinned waving back.

He smiled back walking into the bathroom, "Hey." He whispered to Steve who was already in the tub.

"My dad- what he did wasn't like what yours did. Back when we were kids it was normal for parents to spank their children if they misbehaved. I mean how many times did the teachers hit you with a ruler?"

"Many. If you're heading to if Natalia does something bad you'll hit her I would shut up."

"No, Steve. If Natalia does something bad she's getting grounded. You're the only one I spank."

Steve laughed.

"Maybe that's why you always got in trouble. Liked when the teachers hit you."

"You're a son of a bitch, Buck."

"That is no way to speak about a proper lady who married rich and raised four children. Two of which are dead and one who is a depressed gay slut."

"Going all out to disappoint her ain't ya."

"Oh you have no idea, Stevie. Your mother on the other hand should be congratulating you on catching such a handsome young man."

"Young?"

"I don't look older then 35 and that's saying something because I'm a hundred and one. Hundred and two?"

"Well you at least got the handsome part right."

"Dashing? Debonair?"

"Devilishly hot. Sexy. You really got lucky with me." Steve smirked.

Bucky laughed throwing a towel at Steve, "I did though. I really won the lottery with you. Quit playing with the bubbles! You're making me jealous."

Steve looked over at him, bubbles on his head along with a bubble beard, "You could join me."

"If I joined you we wouldn't get much showering done."

"I'm not getting much showering done by myself." Steve pointed out.

"True but someone should be with Natalia. Sorry, love." He stood up and walked out.

A few minutes later Steve came out of the bathroom in one of the big white fluffy robes and plopped down onto the bed.

Natalia giggled crawling over and placing her hands on his face.

Steve smiled rolling onto his back, "Where's daddy?"

She babbled pointing out the door.

Bucky walked back in with a bottle, "Oh you're done. I can make your soup. It's still a little early but if you want-"

Steve laughed holding his hand out for Bucky, "Come back to bed with me."

Smiling he grabbed Steve's hand and crawled onto the bed.

He sighed snuggling into Bucky's side.

"Did Tony fix the lights?" He murmured, "I don't want to sleep with no lights again. The candles were nice but..."

"I'll check with him later today." Bucky promised. 

He ran his hand through Steve's hair, "Yesterday- when we were walking around I noticed... I noticed how some guys wore these sweaters like-like they were cut down the middle."

Steve looked up at him confused, "Cropped?"

"Yeah. Is it- do they- people don't- what I'm trying to ask is- isn't it seen as-" he wasn't sure what he was trying to ask. He'd been himself for a few years now but there were still so many new things he couldn't seem to understand.

He knew guys could like the color pink and like guys. He knew that if they wanted they could wear makeup, Wanda had been the one who told him actually. They didn't have to be the sole provider of the family anymore and could take paternity leave like Steve had done. It was all still very confusing.

Steve nodded standing up. He pulled on some shoes and made sure his robe was tied.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked.

Steve looked back at him with a smile before walking out.

"No. No I was-I was just asking a question!" He called hurrying to his feet and to the door in hopes of getting there before Steve could go.

"No." He whispered seeing Steve no where in sight.

Sighing he turned around. He couldn't go after him.

Trying to keep distracted he handed Natalia her bottle and took out some carrots starting to chop them.

Natalia watched him in curiosity.

"You need food. You need your nutrients and that means carrots. You don't need papas stupid eyesight. Man never wore glasses either no wonder he couldn't see what was right in front of him." He muttered throwing them into a bowl and starting to mash them.

* * *

Steve walked to the gift shop and started browsing through the clothes.

"You sure look like you need some." Wanda smirked walking over to him, "If you're looking for candles I'm pretty sure Bucky bought them all."

He smiled, "He was just trying to make me feel better."

"I thought he was the one with the fear of the dark."

His brows furrowed, "No?"

"That's what he said."

"He did?"

Wanda nodded.

He turned back to the clothes trying to hid his smile. That was sweet of him. To say he was afraid of the dark instead of Steve.

"What are you looking for?"

"Okay so Bucky is... sometimes I forget Bucky's like me. That he doesn't know everything about this century. He was asking me a question today and he was all shy about it." He explained with a smile grabbing a sweater before turning to give her his full attention.

"I thought, instead of answering his "is it okay" question I would buy him one. Maybe he just wanted to know if it was okay or maybe he wanted one and didn't know how I'd react."

"That's sweet."

He nodded showing her the cropped sweater, "What do you think? Think he'll like the pink? Besides blue it's my favorite."

"I am sure he will love it." She assured Steve.

He grinned, "Thanks." Quickly, he payed for the shirt and ran off.

He got back to the cabin still smiling, "You know we bought mashed carrots pre-made right? Don't have to do it yourself."

"You came back." Bucky whispered dropping teje bowl and turning towards Steve.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Stevie I am so sorry." He said walking over to him, "Sometimes I don't know things so I ask and I am so sorry I won't ask again. I'll keep my mouth shut I'll never ask you anything again. I didn't mean to make you upset. Please believe me."

"Bucky, baby you didn't upset me!" Steve laughed.

"You are always allowed to ask me questions I'm glad to answer them when I know the answer. Sometimes I don't know the answer and if that's the case I'll ask someone or look it up. I'll probably have to ask someone to look it up for me. I got you a gift." He held out the bag.

"Is this why you ran out on me?" Bucky asked grabbing the bag.

"I thought it better to show you then answer."

Bucky looked down at the bag, "You could've just told me to look it up myself."

"Yeah but when I asked for kinkier sex you looked it up, you learned what you needed to. Hell you knew more about it then I did I had no idea what aftercare was. Make me talk about my feelings after sex." He scoffed pretending to be annoyed.

He laughed, "What the hell did you do to get ready for our first date then?"

"I had to do a lot of googling. I made a Reddit account for help." Steve muttered.

Bucky smiled, "You asked random people about how to get ready for your first date with a man? You know, I was actually worried you only asked me out for the sex. I thought maybe because of who I was-who you knew me as- you were expecting sex. And then I worried about you not wanting sex because if you didn't want sex then maybe you hadn't wanted to go out with me at all and we're just being nice. When you freaked out about the thought of me mentioning how I asked Natasha some stuff I thought you really were just trying to be nice or just in it for the sex."

"Buck-"

He laughed stopping Steve, "Honey I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I was really worried about our first date too."

He opened the bag pulling out the sweater.

"I-I liked the pink better then the blue but if you don't like it I can change it." Steve explained. 

"I love it." Bucky smiled leaning over and kissing him.

He sighed, relieved. "That's great. Try it on!"

"Later. Natalia needs her carrots and you need your soup. It's almost done." He said changing subjects as he went back to mashing carrots.

Steve frowned, "Bucky if you don't like it it's okay."

"I do! I just don't want to wear it yet. I don't want to ruin it." Bucky explained serving the bowls.

He sighed walking over and placing the bowl of soup on the table and then taking Natalia her carrots.

Steve watched him trying to figure out if something was wrong.

"Well eat the fuck up I didn't learn how to make soup with actual taste for you to stare at me while it gets cold, Steven. We may have a stove that doesn't require gas but I'm not reheating it just because you couldn't take your eyes off my ass." Bucky snapped crossing his arms.

"Did I go back in time?" Steve whispered to himself before starting on his soup.

He moaned, "Oh my god this is delicious!" He added as he ate one of the potatoes and some meat.

"I know it is I made it."

He rolled his eyes as he kept eating his food.

Widow meowed making her way over to Steve and jumping into his lap.

Natasha knocked before walking in, "Great job, Steve. Wanda's pissed because you skipped out on yoga."

"I just saw her! She wasn't upset!" Steve said confused putting his spoon down.

"Of course not she's too sweet to say anything. Do you even know her?" She asked.

Bucky chuckled walking over to Stark's plate and pouring in some dog food.

"Nat." He greeted.

"Bucky." She smiled, "We're all getting together at the bar later if you two want to join."

"Yeah that actually sounds really nice. Did Tony fix the lights?" Steve answered.

"No not yet. He's down there if you guys want to help."

Bucky glanced over at Steve. Maybe they should go help. Make sure it's fixed before the sun sets.

"Let's go." He smiled walking over to Steve.

"What?"

"Let's help. We don't want the sun to set before it's fixed."

He grabbed Steve's hand and led him out.

Steve gaped at him still being pulled, "I don't know anything about wires or lighting! I used to use candles, Buck!"

Bucky scoffed finally letting go, "How hard can it be?" He asked opening the door.

Tony lifted his mask turning off his a blowtorch and turning to them, "Other then the fact that it's not just wires?"

"Oh my god we're going to die." Steve whispered trying to leave.

Laughing Bucky grabbed his arm, "If we were dying we wouldn't be here, we would be having sex." He whispered in his ear.

Steve scoffed, "If we were dying I would be with our daughter."

"And you're not so we're not dying." Bucky smirked feeling he had won.

"Are you going to keep flirting or help? One of you can head down the stairs and start there."

Steve nodded walking over and grabbing a flashlight.

"Careful there's no-" Tony started, being cut of with a loud bang as Steve fell to the ground.

"Railing." He finished with a groan.

Steve sighed opening his eyes which he had closed when he fell and looked around.

"Bucky?" He asked, fear creeping into his voice as he tried to grab the flashlight.

"Up here! Are you okay?" Bucky called.

"Bucky I-I need a flashlight I can't find mine. I don't know where I dropped it." Steve explained trying to get out of the wires he had fallen into.

Bucky looked over at Tony before running down the stairs.

Careful not to get himself tangled in the worse he walked over to Steve, "Stevie? Baby it's me. I'm right here okay?" He whispered running his hand over Steve's cheek.

"Can you let me down please?" Steve asked, his voice soft and frail.

Bucky frowned hearing how Steve sounded. Kissing his forehead he hoped he'd calm down soon enough.

"Yeah I'll let you down." He smiled pressing on one of the lose plates in his metal arm which popped up with a light.

"I am really enjoying these new features, Tony. It's a little weird having stuff pop out when I can feel it but it's working." Bucky said turning on the light.

Tony popped his head up, "I added an extra vibrate setting after your late night rondevu."

"Rondevu?"

"Would you prefer lovemaking? Or maybe intercourse, coitus, dalliance, fondling, mating, screwing? Sucking face or maybe consummation?"

Steve groaned, for once glad the lights were off.

Bucky chuckled, "Fella, there ain't any love or intercourse in what we did that night."

"Bucky!" Steve whined trying to whack him.

"I regret helping Natasha get you two together." Tony admitted.

"And I hate that you don't have a child for ours to corrupt."

"Let me down!" Steve shouted and Bucky finally turned his full attention towards him.

Bucky slowly started untying the wires careful not to break any and shock Steve, "You could've fallen on the ground you got lucky."

Steve grumbled to himself as Bucky finished untying him catching him before he reached the ground.

Going to let go, he stopped when Steve wrapped his arms around him.

"Baby what's wrong? You're not hurt are you?" Bucky asked confused.

He shook his head, "Just... safe." He whispered not wanting to let go.

Bucky frowned, "Steve you can go back to the cabin if you want. We're good here."

"No I want to help." Steve responded helping himself out of Bucky's arms.

"Fine. One hour and then we go do something else."

Steve nodded knowing it was the best he'd get.

————————————————————————

Tony spent the hour fixing everything Steve and Bucky had ended up undoing.

The lights buzzed on and he sighed standing up, "I need a beer."

"Shit. We can't meet up with Nat. One of us has to stay with Natalia." Steve sighed.

"We'll leave her with Peter."

"But we can't drink."

"Says who? She's not going to know just don't get black out drunk. You'll be fine in an hour anyways."

He followed Bucky out still weary on the idea of getting drunk when they needed to get back to Natalia.

"There you are!" Natasha said handing the two of them their drinks when they got to the bar.

"I really don't like this." Steve whispered.

"Drink!" Bucky laughed taking a swig of his own.

He sat down with the others as Bucky walked away to get some food.

"Did Bucky like his gift?" Wanda asked.

"I think so. He hasn't tried it on yet but he said he did."

Bucky walked over and placed a plate of chips and cheese on the table.

"What are we talking about?" He asked popping a lollipop into his mouth.

"Not important we were just about to start a game." Tony said pouring everyone some shots.

"The game is called marriage/strip/shot. Basically you paid up, someone asks questions and if both people answer correctly they're fine, if one answers incorrectly they both take a shot, and if both answer incorrectly the pair has to take off an article of clothing. We play until someone's naked or in their underwear. Oh an everyone has to take a shot now." He explained.

"Hm." They all said taking a shot.

"I'll ask the questions." Sam said.

Everyone partnered up. Clint with Laura, Tony with Pepper, Wanda with Natasha and Steve with Bucky.

Tony looked at the groups, "No no this won't work." He shook his head standing up.

He changed Steve and Sam's spots, Wanda and his own and then Clint and Pepper. The pairs were now Bucky and Sam, Natasha and Pepper, Wanda and Tony and Steve and Clint.

"That's better. Laura will ask the questions this round." He said sitting back down.

"Why am I with Barnes?" Sam asked.

"It's Barnes-Rogers and it would do you some good to get that right before my fist meets your face." Bucky growled.

"Perfect!" Tony grinned handing out papers and pens ignoring the fact Sam and Bucky were about to rip each other to shreds.

"Alright shall we begin?" Laura asked and they all nodded.

"To start off easy, what is your partner's favorite color?"

They all scribbled down their answers.

"And show your cards."

They turned to their partners and showed the cards.

Clint's card read blue and Steve's read purple and they smiled realizing they were right.

Tony wrote down pink while Wanda had written red.

"Pink? Seriously Stark? It's scarlet! It's literally in my name! Scarlet Witch!" Wanda complained taking her shot.

Natasha laughed at Wanda screaming at Tony before reading Peppers card.

"Black. Good job."

"Blue. Have you been talking to Tony?" Pepper joked.

"Yellow? Really, Barnes? Really?" Sam scoffed.

"You wrote green! Everyone knows I like red! Yours is yellow I know that!"

"It's orange!"

"Which is just a knockoff version of yellow!"

Tony turned towards them, "You gotta strip." He smirked.

"I'm not stripping because this dumbass doesn't know colors." Bucky scoffed.

Steve placed his hand on Bucky's arm giving it a soft squeeze, "Bucky, it's just a game." He whispered.

He sighed calming down. He pulled his shoes off and threw them at Tony's head barely missing.

"Next time I don't miss." He warned.

Everyone took their next round of shots as Laura pulled up the next question on her phone.

"How old was your partner when they lost their virginity? Bonus points if you know the name."

Clint scoffed as he wrote down the age and name, "Too easy."

It took the others a few minutes before writing down ages and random names.

"Time." Laura called and they flipped their papers.

"Bucky and a hundred." Clint read with a laugh.

"Technically 27 but yeah. 17?"

"22. I was in the circus at 17."

Steve nodded and they took their shots.

"23?" Tony asked Wanda.

"Yeah. Nineteen?" Wanda answered.

"Sixteen." Tony said and they both took a shot.

"Sixteen?" Pepper asked.

Natasha nodded, "Seventeen?" She asked and Pepper nodded.

"Twenty two." Bucky smirked.

"Unfortunately you're right. Sixteen and I don't know a Margot?" Sam asked.

He shook his head taking another drink.

"Fourteen." He grinned.

"Stella?" Steve asked.

"No. Took hers at 16."

"Dot?"

"18."

"Who then?"

"Remember that 17 year old who used to watch my sisters?" Bucky whispered.

"Ronnie?! You've got to be shitting me." Steve scoffed.

Bucky smiled kissing his cheek, "What can I say? I have a thing for blonds. And you can't be upset with me you almost lost it too... what's her name? Sally. You had an asthma attack."

"Faked an asthma attack." Steve blushed turning away.

"Fourteen? Who loses it at 14?! With a seventeen year old too?!" Sam scoffed not believing him.

"Well if you want to get technical I was still 13. One week before my 14th birthday."

"Damn, Bucky." Clint laughed and Wanda scoffed.

"You're all pigs."

"Has your partner ever gone down on someone?" Laura continued on.

They turned their cards around most of which said yes except for Bucky's.

"Doubt it." He added.

"You're not wrong." Sam muttered and he laughed.

"I'm betting only when drunk." Wanda said to Tony.

He gaped at her, "That is- true. Okay."

"No. I find it disgusting." Natasha said reading Peppers card and getting ready to take her drink.

"Me too." Pepper laughed and Natasha put her drink back down.

"Really wishing you had right about now." She muttered pulling her shirt off.

Bucky chuckled leaning towards Steve, "Both front and back ey, Stevie?"

Steve scoffed, "Shut up." He muttered. He glanced up at Natasha before back over to Clint.

Bucky smacked Steve over the head, "You're a pig!" He scoffed.

"I didn't say anything!" Steve said confused.

"You were staring!"

"I'm not a pig and I wasn't staring!"

"Right you've just never seen breast before. My bad." Bucky muttered.

"No. No I haven't because I like dick, Bucky and the last time I checked the only dick I've ever had was yours and you don't have breasts."

Bucky opened his mouth to let out a retort when Steve whacked his arm.

"Stop calling them tits!" He shouted exasperated at the word.

Bucky smirked turning back around, "Fine. I won't talk about how your titties jiggle when you walk." He whispered with a sigh.

"I'm going to kill him."

Laura asked more questions and soon enough Bucky was standing in just his boxers.

"I'm not taking these off." He said as they lost another question.

"When the hell did he get a tattoo?" Tony asked having been asking since his shirt came off.

Bucky rolled his eyes before downing the rest of his bottle.

A very drunk Steve stared at him in amazement as he leaned closer, "You are very very hot." He whispered biting his shoulder as he let his hand run wild against Bucky's abs.

"Thanks baby I think the same." Bucky smiled kissing the top of his head.

"I think I love you." He chuckled moving closer so he was almost in Bucky's lap.

"God I love drunk Steve." Natasha sighed sipping her drink.

"It's a shame it doesn't last longer." Wanda agreed.

"Can I bite you? I'm going to bite you."

"You already are."

"Yeah but I wanna bite your nipple." Steve whined leaning closer trying to bite him.

Bucky laughed moving out of the way, "Honey I'm sorry but not until you sober up." He whispered pulling his clothes back on.

Steve hummed leaning against the couch, "Okay. Five minutes."

"Five minutes it is." Bucky smiled taking another bottle.

Downing his second bottle his buzz set in.

"I want avocado." He said standing up.

He walked to the bar to order some avocado.

Steve shook awake standing up, "I will be back."

"You know you're really pretty?" Wanda asked ignoring Steve.

Natasha smiled, "You're a little drunk, Wanda."

"Doesn't change how pretty you are."

Sam took a seat on her other side, "You know Steve wants us to date?"

She laughed, "This is not happening."

Steve walked over to Bucky.

"Hey I got avocado! Do you want some? How sober are you? Are you hungry?" Bucky wondered eating his avocado.

"Yeah I'm starving." Steve said taking the avocado away from Bucky.

"Good. We should go eat. Wait no we should wake Natalia up and play princess and dress up all pretty. Do you think she wants to be Belle or sleeping beauty? She can be sleeping beauty because I want to be Belle. You can be Cinderella! You look so pretty in blue. Do you want to play with us? Please play with us." Bucky rushed out before looking around.

"I want gum." He hummed.

"I want sex."

"Huh?" Bucky asked before Steve pushed him down onto the couch crawling on top of him.

"Oh." He breathed as Steve kissed him.

He pulled off biting Bucky's bottom lip.

Bucky whined grabbing his hair, "Where are you going?"

Steve chuckled nipping at his neck.

He let out an overly dramatized moan his hands making their way up Steve's shirt.

Steve chuckled sucking and kissing up to his jaw.

"ебать Стиви да пожалуйста да." He groaned pushing his thigh between Steve's.

" _ **Fuck Stevie yes please yes."**_

Steve groaned finally kissing Bucky's mouth as he ground down against his thigh.

His nails dug into Bucky's shoulder, grinding against his leg, his other hand reaching down to grope him.

Bucky groaned thrusting into his hand.

"Okay no one needs to see this." Clint said grabbing Steve by the colar of his shirt and pulling him off Bucky.

"Hey!" They both shouted.

"Sober up and go to your room!" Clint shouted back. 

Steve whined crawling over to Bucky. Resting his head on the couch he kissed his hand.

"Do you have anymore avocado?" He mumbled.

Bucky shook his head turning around and trying to get comfortable.

"Meanie."

"Oh suck my dick."

"Can I?"

"No!" Clint shouted.

"I'm not speaking to you go eat your worms." Steve scoffed.

"Horny son of a bitch." Bucky whispered grabbing Steve's hand and kissing it again and again.

Tony sat down on the chair with his drink in his hand, "You're a weird drunk."

"Oh don't pretend you wouldn't jump on the chance to have me." Bucky smirked.

"I'm not gay."

"Sexuality is a spectrum society made to make people feel shitty and like they don't belong. It's like gender. You're a man because you have a dick? No. That's not- I don't care what time I may be from it shouldn't work like that. Society is worse then high school."

Steve stared at him confused, "But you think guys can't wear crop tops."

"I didn't say that. Wear a dress for all I care. That doesn't mean society will accept you. Two supreme judges are trying to take our rights away right now because what? I like people who identify as male? It's the girl who wants to play football but everyone saying she should be a cheerleader or the cheerleader dating the nerd."

"You watched not another teen movie didn't you?"

He nodded, "Is it confusing? Yeah. Do I sometimes look at two guys holding hands and my instinctive thought is that it's wrong? Yeah because that's how I grew up and then I want to hit myself because I'm judging two people who aren't doing anything worse then us or anyone. If Natalia grows up to look at two people or hell three people and think what they have is wrong I'll feel I failed as a parent."

Steve frowned, "I still want avocado. Can I blow you now?"

"Sober up a little more, Stevie." Bucky hummed patting his head.

Steve giggled, "Bucky I'm not a dog!"

Bucky chuckled, "Sorry."

"Sometimes we go on missions that last a few days. Sometimes we get stuck and have to sleep in the woods." Tony said changing subjects.

"What are you getting at?" Bucky asked.

"This one time Rogers- sorry, Barnes-Rogers. Cap and I got stuck in the woods right and so... does he- Cap does this thing where he..." he kept trailing off unsure how to ask.

Natasha sat up and turned to Tony, "Yes! He did the same thing one time when we were out on a mission!" She piped in shooting to her feet and hurrying over to them.

Sam and Wanda's heads banged together falling off of Natasha's shoulders when she got up.

"Ow." They groaned waking up.

"Wait what does he do?" Bucky asked confused.

"So we were on a mission- Steve and I not Tony and I- and we were staying in a hotel room with just one bed. So like he goes to sleep and I go take a shower and I come back to watch tv because I wasn't tired yet. I'm just watching tv and he sort of starts... humping the pillow." She grinned at the look of absolute horror on Steve's face.

"Yeah." Tony agreed.

"I don't- very funny. Tell them Bucky. I don't do that." Steve scoffed coming to his sense a little.

Bucky looked down at him apologetically, "Yeah he does that sometimes. Most nights actually."

Steve looked up at him, "I do?! Why did no one tell me?!" He shouted pulling at his hair.

"I assumed you knew! I was waiting for you to tell me something but you never said anything so I didn't do anything! I try waking you but if anything it gets you going even more." Bucky explained.

"Oh my god."

"It sucks when you're big spoon because then I get hard but have to wait for you to finish so I can go take care of myself."

"Oh my god oh my god you suck!" Steve cried grabbing the pillow and smacking Bucky over and over.

"How dare you not tell me!" He screeched.

Bucky laughed as the pillow smacked him over and over.

"I swear I thought you knew!" Bucky shouted taking the pillow away.

Steve turned to Tony and Natasha, "I am so so so so sorry. And now I'm going to go kill myself."

"Baby I'm sorry. I would've told you if I didn't think you knew."

"Is this why sometimes I fall asleep in blue and wake up in red?"

"Well I'm not going to leave you like that."

"That's sweet. I'm still mad at you but it's sweet."

"And I'm still mad at you for telling Nat I pissed the bed when we both know I didn't so it cancels out!" Bucky said faking an overly sweet voice.

Natasha rolled her eyes, "I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I will be screaming at you, Steve because I am too tired to do it now."

She walked over to the other couch where Wanda had fallen asleep. Smiling she shook her careful not to disturb her too much, "Wanda, you're still at the bar. Let's get you back to your room." She laughed when Wanda looked up at her confused.

Steve sighed closing his eyes, "Carry me?" He mumbled to his husband.

Bucky hummed in agreement running his hand through Steve's hair.

"And next time give me a helping hand." He added with a yawn as he fell asleep.


	9. Day 30-48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings 
> 
> Smut  
> Self homophobia  
> Slight Kink Shaming

Bucky woke up early the next morning glad he didn't have a hangover.

He kissed Steve's forehead and got out.

He walked over to see Natalia already awake and playing with her blanket and toy.

Smiling he picked her up and took her to the living room.

"I'll be back to play, baby girl, I just want to change into something else." He whispered.

After a few minutes he walked out in the cropped sweater Steve had bought him and sat down so they could play.

* * *

**Last night**

Steve walked to the their cabin hand in hand with Bucky.

"Bucky baaaaaaaby pay attention to me." He hiccuped.

He smiled to himself squeezing Steve's hand, "I am, Stevie. Let's get you in bed."

Steve jumped onto the bed grinning at his husband, "Come and get me baby."

Bucky laughed pulling his clothes off.

"Oh getting right to it are we?" Steve asked trying to pull his own shirt off.

Bucky leaned over him helping Steve pull his clothes off, "There we go. Sleeping will be a lot more comfortable without those jeans and that... tight ass shirt."

Steve giggled wrapping his legs around Buckys waist and pulling him closer, "Well I have to get your attention somehow."

Bucky smiled, "Stevie you always have my attention. I need you to let go."

"Why?!" He whined.

"Because you're tired and drunk. If you don't let go I'm going to have no choice but to sleep on the couch."

He let go and rolled away, "You don't like me." He muttered crossing his arms.

"Of course I like you; I married you!"

"But did you marry me that way or like a friend?"

"Like a- who marries their friends?"

"I don't know but you don't want to sleep with me because you still see me as that kid from Brooklyn."

"I don't want to sleep with you because you're not thinking straight. Move over I'm tired."

Steve didn't answer already having fallen asleep.

He smiled pushing Steve enough to get into bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Steve put the book down your Grandma should be here soon." Sarah called.

A young Steve looked up from his sketch book, "Ma! You know I don't like Grandma! She pinches my cheeks."

Sarah smiled walking over to his door, "Steve that's rude no matter how true it may be. She is your grandmother."

"Can I at least finish this one picture? I won't color it I just need to finish the sketch before I forget." He asked.

She nodded walking away to finish dinner.

Soon enough Steve's grandmother arrived.

"Steve! Come say hello to your grandmother!"

Steve stood up with a sigh walking out of his room, "Hi grandma." He faked a smile.

"Steven! My god how you have grown!" The woman said pinching his cheeks.

He looked over at his mom waiting for her to tell him he was excused

"Go! Dinner will be ready in ten."

He smiled and ran back to his room to finish his drawing.

He sat on the ground of his room drawing the picture from memory as he waited to be called for dinner.

"Steven. Your mothers been calling for quite some time now." His grandmother said.

"Oh sorry I didn't hear I'll be right out." He apologized putting his pencils back in their respective places.

"What are you doing?"

"I was just drawing." Steve answered and his grandmother took the book away from him.

She flipped through a few pages, "This fruit bowl is very nice."

"Thanks. I like drawing pretty things." Steve smiled.

She kept flipping through the book looking at the pictures before stopping at one of Bucky.

"Is this your friend?"

Steve looked down at the page with a grin, "Yeah. I was just drawing him. I thought he should go with the flowers and stuff because he's pretty too."

His grandmother looked up at him face turned up in a scowl, "Steven that's quite enough."

Steve frowned confused.

"Is everything alright?" Sarah asked walking in after hearing her mother snap at her son.

She frowned when she saw their looks, "Steve why don't you go set the table and wait for us? If you pray you can get started."

Steve nodded walking out not one to disobey his mother.

"You outta teach that boy a lesson for saying things like that."

Sarah shook her head, "Mother he's seven he doesn't understand these things. It doesn't mean anything."

"Calling another boy pretty? He may not understand but you sure as hell do, Sarah. My grandson will not be some fairy prancing around. Do better."

"I'm doing a damn well job at raising my son to be a good man."

"Steve really? His name is Steven, Sarah. I don't know what you're trying to condone with this behavior!"

"He prefers to be called Steve- he's a child! I'm not going to call him Steven Grant like he's some man when he's only seven!"

They ate in silence. When Steve's grandmother stood up to go to the washroom he turned to his mom.

"Did I do something, Ma?" He asked.

"What could you have possibly done, Steve?"

"I don't know but grandma said you should teach me a lesson and I shouldn't call other boys pretty. I didn't mean to upset her. And what’s a fairy? I don't know how she couldn't think anyone could confuse me for a fairy I don't have wings."

Sarah frowned, "Steve your grandmother has certain beliefs. A lot of people agree with her beliefs. I don't and she doesn't like that."

"But why's she upset I called Bucky pretty? He is."

"Yes, Steve. Bucky is very pretty. The way you draw him or talk about him it's all very pretty." Sarah agreed grabbing his sketch book and flipping through the pages.

"You can call him pretty when you're here at home but certain people- some guys don't like being called pretty. I like to hope that while Bucky may not like being called pretty he won't be upset about it but that isn't always the case."

Steve nodded.

"Honey?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah Ma?"

"It's okay to think Bucky's pretty. It's okay to think boys are pretty but you can't tell your grandmother."

Steve frowned but nodded again, "I understand."

She looked over to check he was done with his food, "Okay go over to Bucky's but be back before the stores start to close. I'll wash the dishes."

He grinned getting up to his feet. Grabbing a sweater he headed for the door.

"Steve! If you're going to sleep over have Mrs. Barnes give Mrs. Johnson a call and she'll let me know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve woke up still hazy from his dream. He remembered the day it happened. It was confusing at first but as he got older and started to realize he understood why his grandmother had been so upset.

He sighed and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

_'Maybe if I hadn't called Bucky pretty she would've come around more often.'_ He thought to himself as he dried off.

He walked past the door once again, towel in his hand as he dried his hair.

Stopping he looked down at where Bucky was playing with Natalia.

"Can you quit acting so gay?" Steve snapped before he could think better of himself.

Bucky looked up at him confused.

"Okay Natalia Daddy will be right back." He whispered putting down his tea cup and taking off his flower crown. After Natalia had started playing with the flowers in the pot he showed her how his sister used to make flower crowns.

He walked over to Steve grabbing his arm and pulling him into another room, "What the hell?"

"Why do you have to be this way?"

"Be what way? Gay? Because I like dick and I thought you did too!" Bucky snapped back. Two could play at that game.

Steve sighed running a hand through his hair.

" Our daughter- our seven month old daughter- wanted to play with tea cups so I thought okay let's have a tea party. She was playing with some flowers and I remembered how Gracie used to make us flower crowns when we played with her so I showed her how to make it and I wore one with her. So if that's what you're talking about, Stevie, think about it." Bucky explained trying to stop himself from snapping again.

Steve gulped looking around feeling like an ass.

"It's just..." he trailed off. If he was being honest with himself he was pissed Bucky could walk around like he owned the place acting however he wanted meanwhile he was too scared to.

"Is it the quip I made about you're masculinity being too fragile? Because that was a fucking joke Steve. Or the shirt? Because you bought this for me yesterday." He asked pulling at the shirt.

"People judge!"

"I didn't think my husband would be one of them! What the hell is going on? You were fine last night."

Steve didn't answer instead he just walked away.

Bucky looked down at the ground confused. They had been fine yesterday.

Maybe it was the sweater. Maybe he had bought it to see if he would wear it so when he didn't everything was fine.

He scoffed grabbing another shirt to change into.

Once it was on he sighed, ' _Maybe Steve will like this better.'_

Steve walked back in after a few minutes giving himself time to calm down.

"Bucky I'm sorry I had a dream last night and it reminded me of how things used to b- what are you wearing?"

Bucky paused the tv, "Oh I-I changed. More comfortable in this." He explained.

"Oh." Steve whispered still confused.

"As I was saying-"

"Don't worry about it. You have every right to be upset. I shouldn't have done it."

"Done what?"

"Right that's-that's a smart idea. We can pretend it didn't even happen."

He took his phone out opening up his photos, "I deleted the ones with me in them but you were asleep and Natalia was being adorable and so I wanted to show you." He smiled holding his phone out.

Steve took the phone pressing play on the video. He laughed as he watched Natalia fake drinking out of the teacup and he could hear Bucky talking in the background trying to tell her how to do it.

The video ended and he went to hand the phone back to find Bucky missing.

"Bucky?" He called standing up to look around.

Bucky stood at the mirror with a pair of scissors in his hand and a strand of hair in the other.

"Bucky what are you doing?" Steve asked taking the scissors.

"What’s so gay about me and why does it bother you?" He whispered looking at him like a confused child.

His face changed from confusion to hurt as he realized what he had done by snapping at him that morning.

"I like you and you like me so I don't understand why it would bother you but I also don't know what to change. I thought it was the sweater so I took it off but that wasn't it so maybe it's my hair? I like it long I didn't think that was wrong though. I'll cut it."

"It's not the sweater and it's not the hair it's me." Steve said placing his hands on Bucky's shoulders.

"What about you?" Bucky asked still confused.

When Steve didn't answer he kept talking, "Steve I want to be good enough and if that means changing small things I can do that but you also need to understand that I can't change everything about myself. At some point I can't change myself anymore and we'll have to talk about... other options." It wasn't something he wanted but in the long run if Steve wanted something he couldn't be it might be the only option.

"It's not fair! How can you walk around so comfortable with yourself? I worry every day people will see me as who I used to be!" Steve shouted feeling tears swell in his eyes.

Bucky frowned, "What's wrong with who you used to be? I love you now and I love the man you were." He whispered running his thumb over Steve's knuckles.

"I was a 5'4" 90 pound sick man. _Barely_ a man. If I wear a flower crown and play tea party with my daughter people aren't going to look at me as Captain America anymore and I-I don't- I need them to. I can't be that guy again."

"That's the difference. When she's older she's going to hear about what I did as the Winter Soldier. I want her to see me as kind and as soft as I can possibly be so that when that happens she'll know I'm human and I'm still her father. I get why you have to act all tough and make sure people trust you or whatever but you can't snap at me about me acting "gay" when I am gay and when I'm not doing anything other then wearing a shirt you got me and a flower crown I made with our daughter."

"I'm sorry. I really am you have to believe me."

"Rightfully so! It sucks. It sucks that I can't help you when it comes to how you feel about the man you are without the serum but I love both versions and that's all I can tell you." Bucky assured him.

Steve shook his head trying to clear his mind, "It's not fair. I want to be able to play with my daughter without feeling... inadequate."

Bucky grabbed Steve's hand and led him out of the room. He picked Natalia up and took them both over to the couch.

"Our little girl is almost one already. Soon enough she'll be talking and walking. I can't wait to have to run after her as she's laughing her little head off." Bucky laughed before turning back to his husband.

"One day she is going to go on her first date and we're going to realize just how old we've gotten. Steve were a hundred and we don't look a day over thirty. Maybe we age slowly or maybe the serum is slowly making its way out of us but as much as I don't want her to grow up I also want to tease you about your grey hairs. Maybe as the serum leaves you'll become shorter, maybe lose some muscle... I don't know how we'll grow old- I don't even know if you'll age. I will because I got the knockoff of whatever you got but you might not. If someday you become that guy again it's my job for you to know how much you're loved."

Steve smiled, "I love you too."

Widow meowed jumping off a shelf down to Steve's shoulder.

"Hello hello passengers! We hope you are having a great day we have just arrived at our destination. Please remember we are staying at this spot for two days so if you decide not to go out today you always have tomorrow. Please enjoy your day in Hawaii and don't forget to go to the complementary fire show tonight at 10 pm." A chipper woman's voice rang through the speakers.

"Wow. I- Wow. Please never be that happy I'll kill myself." Bucky laughed.

"Bucky!" Steve scoffed pushing him off the couch.

"Ooh harder Stevie." He teased.

Steve laughed standing up, "Come on I want to get off the boat. That is, unless you're planning on changing into a hula skirt and coconut- coconut br- oh you know!"

"Do I? A bracelet? A coconut bracelet sounds heavy. Breakfast? Bread? Brand? Brace? Am I right?" Bucky asked standing up and walking up to him.

He gulped stepping back, "I-"

"Am I at least getting there?" He whispered.

Steve stared at him trying to think of a response, "I- you- quit teasin', Barnes."

"That's Barnes-Rogers to you, Captain." Bucky smirked poking his chest.

He gulped, ' _Fuck_.'

"Now what kind of Captain finds himself backed into a corner by one of his own? Can you not control your team, Captain? Facing... performance issues... on the field? Can't help but to... go too early?" He grinned running his hand over Steve's cheek, letting his thumb trace his bottom lip.

"Bucky-" Steve whispered and Bucky pushed his finger into his mouth with a tut.

"Let me finish." He growled before letting out a low laugh, "I'm sorry. I forgot you don't know how."

"You son of a bitch." Steve gasped when Bucky groped him.

He chuckled letting go of his ass, "Come onlet's go." 

Bucky went to grab Natalia so they could go out. Steve stopped him grabbing his arm and spinning him back and into a kiss.

He laughed pulling away, "Can't wait can you?"

"Not when my husband looks as sexy as you do."

He shook his head walking away.

"You know I'm jealous of your heart!"

"And why is that?" Bucky asked as he finished strapping Natalia into the stroller.

"It's pumping inside you and I'm not."

Bucky laughed, "You dumbass. It doesn't even make sense given I'm in you most of the time. And you can't be jealous of something you already have."

Steve blushed looking away with a grin.

"I'm sorry that was a bad one. I don't really have to flirt now that we're married."

"N-no! It was... it was nice. I-I like being reminded that your heart belongs to be."

He smiled, "Let's go. Wanda's probably upset you missed another yoga lesson."

"Woman's going to kill me with all this yoga." Steve muttered following him.

"You impregnated her. As far as I'm concerned that gives her the right to ask for anything her heart desires."

"Technically I didn't impregnate her the doctor did. And it's only because you're too much of a wuss to do it yourself."

"Sorry I don't want our child to be a monster."

"What's the plan for today?" He asked when they arrived at the dock.

Tony shrugged, "You do what you want. Pep has some family so we're going to go see them."

He nodded turning to Steve, "Let's meet up for lunch. Wanda! Wanna go out?"

"Hell yeah. Let's go." She laughed.

"What about you Nat? Want to spend the day with me?" Steve asked.

She glared at him, "You're a son of a bitch."

"What did I do?"

"You told Sam to ask me out!"

"I also told him to ask Wanda out he said he wouldn't!"

Natasha hit his arm, "I don't care if you told him to ask the moon out! I don't need a boyfriend! Or a girlfriend so don't ask!"

"You may not need one but you want one."

"You don't know what I want, Steve."

"I love you, Natasha. I just want to make you as happy as you've made me with Bucky."

"I don't need anyone to make me happy I'm already happy."

Steve frowned, "You just did so much for us. I don't want it to seem like we're ungrateful or take you for granted. We don't hang out as much. He's my husband and my best friend. I want to spend every waking moment with him so I don't spend as much with you anymore."

"Steve, I know you love me. If we're being honest I don't think marriage is for me."

"What?"

She sighed as they walked, "We have a job that puts our life on the line every day whether we're working or not. We put ourselves and our families into danger. We have enemies who want to hurt us. Why do you think Clint kept his family a secret? Why do you think we let Tony pretend he and Pepper aren't married?"

"They're married?!"

"Pepper worries every time she's late because she can't imagine a child losing her father or worse."

Steve looked to the ground thinking to himself, "You don't... you don't think- I know we're the good guys or whatever but you don't think lo anyones would actually take a child do you?"

She shook her head, "I would hope not. You know I love your daughter but you do want another one. You have enemies- Bucky has a lot of enemies, good and bad people."

"Natalia's always going to be in the public eye."

Natasha nodded.

"She'll be in danger every day of her life." He whispered, "I already ruined her life."

"No Steve that's not- god I didn't want to do this. You'll protect her if anything happens."

"No. I-I can't- I won't always be there. What if someone- Natasha you need to tell Bucky all this. Please. It was my idea to have kids it was my idea to have two of them I need you to talk him out of it please." He begged his breath speeding up. If anyone ever hurt Natalia he'd never forgive himself.

"I can't. I won't. Steve you want another kid don't you?"

He shook his head, "Not if it hurts them."

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

She smiled leaning against his arm, "Let's get some breakfast then. Get you thinking rationally."

Steve laughed, "It's a date." He joked.

* * *

Wanda played with Natalia as they sat on a bench waiting.

"Wanda." Bucky smiled placing a hand on her shoulder.

She looked over at him, "Yeah?"

"Did you want to talk about something?"

She smiled looking away, "How did you know it would work between you and Steve? That it wouldn't ruin your friendship."

He smiled, "I didn't. I thought it would. I thought he'd kill me or beat me up or at the very least kick me out."

"How did you know it wouldn't effect the team?"

"I'm not a part of the team. I help but I'm not a part of it. Who is it, Wanda?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Wanda-"

"I'm next." She said. She stood up and walked over to the cage. They had decided to go shark cage diving.

"Wanda!" He laughed as Wanda went down to ignore him.

He sighed looking around as he waited.

Spotting Steve and Natasha walking into a diner he stood up, "Tell her I'll be back." He said to the man running the station. Taking Natalia he walked to the diner.

"Go to Papa baby girl." He whispered kissing Natalia's cheek and finally letting her crawl away.

She grinned crawling away and over to Steve.

"What the-" Steve laughed picking her up and looking around for Bucky.

His eyes landed on Bucky by the door and he shook his head with a smile.

Bucky grinned waving for him to come over.

"I'll be right back." He promised Natasha walking over to see what Bucky needed.

Bucky grinned grabbing his hand and pulling him to a corner.

"What are you doing here? I thought we weren't meeting up until dinner." Steve whispered giving him a soft kiss.

"Couldn't stay away I guess." Bucky whispered back running his hand through his hair.

"I have something for you. Meant to give it a while ago." He added searching Natalia's bag for the shorts he had stuffed in there in case he got a chance to give them to Steve. 

He grinned pulling out the blue booty shorts.

"Like em?" He asked knowing Steve wouldn't say no.

"Yes but I can't wear those out in public." Steve laughed taking the shorts.

Bucky frowned lightly kissing at his neck, "Please? For me? The thought of you in those tight shorts all day... ass jiggling away for all to see."

Steve groaned pushing Bucky away, "Fine. But I'm getting some tonight."

"Yes sir!" Bucky said with a salute.

He scoffed shaking his head at his husband walking away with the shorts in hand.

As Steve entered the bathroom Bucky ran over to Natasha, "Okay he's going to put on the shorts don't say shit for a few hours. And when we finally do meet up I want you to give him your joke."

When Steve walked out of the bathroom he stood up from the booth.

"Thanks for the milkshake!" He said as an excuse, taking Natalia and walking away.

"Sometimes I wonder why I married such a weird man." Steve muttered sitting down.

She laughed looking at the menu, "Takes one to know one."

"Where to now, Natalia? I bet Aunty Wanda won't be done for a half hour."

She babbled pointing towards a bakery.

He hummed, "Like the way you're thinking, doll."

He walked towards the bakery, "What do you want?"

"Oo-ay!" Natalia babbled pointing at a giant cupcake.

He laughed, "Cupcake it is. But no crying tonight."

She stared back at him confused.

He rolled his eyes ordering the cupcake.

He took her over to a table unwrapping the cupcake, "All yours."

Her eyes went wide as she dived for the cupcake as if Bucky would take it before she could finish.

"What an adorable baby." A worker said bringing over a bottle of water Bucky had ordered.

"Well I didn't do it but thank you."

"Where's your mommy sweet thing?" The worker coo'd at Natalia.

"Bottom of the ocean surrounded by sharks."

"What?" He asked turning to Bucky.

"Although I don't think she'd like you calling her mommy seeing as she's twenty six with no kids."

"But-"

"Her aunt is technically her "mommy" because she was my husband and my surrogate."

"Oh thank god I thought you killed her." He sighed, "I'm sorry for assuming."

Bucky smiled leaning over to clean Natalia's mouth, "Don't worry about it."

He looked down at his watch to check the time, "Shit I have to go." He muttered. He handed the man the money for the cupcake and water and left.

Walking back to the dock he noticed Wanda was no where to be seen.

"Did she get out already? Maybe go to a shop?" He asked the new person in charge.

She shook her head, "No I haven't seen anyone come out."

"Well what the hell she's been down there for I've half an hour get her out!" He shouted rushing to the edge to try and get a good view through the water.

"Fuck." He muttered walking away. He placed Natalia down.

"Natty, baby girl, stay right here." He whispered as he started pulling his shoes off.

The woman pressed a button for the cage to come up, "Sir please calm down."

Wanda whined stepping out of the cage,"Why'd you take me out? I paid for an hour!"

He let out a breath walking over and hugging her, "Thank god you're okay I thought you were dying."

"Well It's nice to know I'm cared about but not when I want to see the sharks!"

"Wanda do you have any idea what Clint would do- what Steve would do if you died when I was with you?! I'd be dead!" He shouted letting go.

She laughed, "I'm not a child, Buck."

"That much is obvious." He muttered crossing his arms annoyed.

* * *

They didn't all meet up again until dinner.

"Whoah Steve what the hell are you wearing?" Tony laughed.

Steve flushed looking away.

Bucky chuckled taking a seat at the table, "Well when I ask I receive. He's a little like a genie. A few... strokes the right way and I get three wishes. Anything my heart desires."

"Oh my god." Laura scoffed.

"I don't know why I still do what you ask I know how it'll turn out."

"Because after they get a go with their jokes I get a go at you." Bucky whispered running his hand through Steve's hair.

"Blech." Natalia babbled hitting Steve's hand.

Natasha laughed, "Fast learner."

Steve huffed looking down at Natalia, "I'll remember that when you're sixteen and want to make out with a boy on my couch."

"Sixteen?" Bucky asked.

"Right she is your daughter so I should probably say thirteen."

"Right shes also yours so if we find the middle we should probably say forty five. We're never going to be grandparents because you're a prude!" 

"And you're a slut!"

"Damn right I am, baby, but I'm not the one who can't wait to get down on their knees tonight for someone other then God." Bucky smirked.

"So who wants salad?" Clint asked looking over the menu.

"Salad sounds great. So does that coconut drink." Wanda smiled.

"Coconut br-"

"Don't, Barnes, I swear." Sam scoffed.

"The fire show isn't for a few hours." Laura pointed out.

Natasha looked around the room, "Where are your children?"

"I'm hoping alive."

"Wanda almost died today." Bucky interrupted.

"What?!" They all asked.

Wanda rolled her eyes, "I didn't almost die he had a panic attack and yelled at a lady to take me out of the ocean." She explained.

They kept talking as the ordered their food and ate.

"I'm going to see the hula dancers." Pepper said, standing up.

* * *

"Watch out!" Someone shouted, a frisbee flying at Buckys head. 

He caught the frisbee and threw it back to the giggling group of drunk adults.

Steve sighed sitting down next to him, "Still showing off I see."

"Hate the game not the-"

"If you finish that sentence you are never allowed to hang out with Clint again." He warned.

"Ooh okay daddy." Bucky chuckled.

"You're a dick. I don't know why I have possibly put up with you all these years."

He smiled sitting up, "Because I can do that thing with my tongue that you love."

"There is that."

"You didn't come back empty handed did you? I really wanted some watermelon slices."

Steve smiled handing him a bowl, "Lucky I came back at all. I might've stayed over there with the cute bartender."

"Where?" Bucky asked turning around in search for the so called "cute" bartender.

He laughed, "Bucky I'm joking. But he did like my jokes."

"I like your jokes! And I'm sure he can't do that thing you love so much."

"Yeah I guess you're already trained. Be a shame to let someone else have you."

Bucky frowned, "I was already trained."

"What?"

"You may have gotten the mutt from the shelter that nobody wanted but I was already trained. Ten little words and I'm at your bidding."

"Bucky you're not a dog it was just a joke."

"Maybe but you're right. I was trained by them and then you just fixed what they messed up. Is that how you see me? Your little pet?"

"No."

"No? Then maybe I'm your trophy. I reminder of what you managed to beat."

"Bucky-"

"No I know it was just a joke. I'm just too sensitive. Guess I'm a lot like a dame that way. Is that it? Because you had never shown any interest in me before. You've never shown any interest in any other guy."

"And that bothers you?"

"Yeah because I guess I should've realized already that I'm so sensitive and so broken you get to fix me up. Basically a dame right, Stevie? I mean you practically jumped at the chance when I asked you if it was okay for guys to wear something primarily worn by women. Also explains why when I did wear it... why you screamed at me- why my own husband screamed at me for being gay." His voice cracked.

"You just thought, I can't risk him running away to murder people. He's so much like a women what's the difference. All I have to sacrifice is getting fucked every once in a while. I knew you wouldn't like the idea of me liking men and I especially knew you wouldn't like the idea of me liking _you_. By all means, Steve, kill me for all I care."

He scoffed standing up, "Want me to wear a pretty little dress Steve? That get you off? Or maybe a little maid outfit. Better yet you'd probably like me dressing like a school girl. Grow my hair out a little more put in pig tails and suck on my lollipop? Is that what you want Steve? Want me to get a fucking sex change too?!"

He woke up startled looking around.

"Hey I got that watermelon you asked for. I think you dozed off. Line was long." Steve said handing him the bowl.

His face turned to worry when Bucky didn't react, "Bucky, baby, what's wrong?"

"Bad-bad dream is all. Sorry." He whispered taking the bowl.

"Some lady won't stop checking you out and I swear I'm going to poke her eyes out." Steve muttered getting comfortable in his seat.

Bucky laughed, "You should threaten people more often. It's kinda hot." And just like that Steve was blushing trying not to look away.

He played with the watermelon before finally taking a bite.

"Do you like my hair?"

"What?"

"Do you prefer it longer or shorter?"

"However you do."

"But you don't see me as too... feminine I guess would be the word?" He gnawed at his lip.

Steve raised an eyebrow, "You? Feminine? Honey I got news for you if you think you're feminine and it's not only your dick or lack of breasts."

He sighed thankful for the reassurance.

"Do you feel-"

"I was just worried you might have thought of me the same way you do girls. I know you say you like both but I worry sometimes." He explained.

Steve frowned, "No I don't think of you like a dame, Bucky."

"Yeah. I'm just a little fruity." He said, a smirk playing at his lips.

He laughed, "Now why say it like that, buck?"

"Just... remembered something Falsworth told me back when we were in England."

"Wow." Steve whispered. It had been a long time since anyone talked to him about the Howling Commandos, least of all Bucky. He assumed he tried not to think of it because he wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't but he was obviously wrong.

"Yeah. I was still a little shocked about your body change. He figured me out at some point or maybe I told him I'm not sure. I met this guy and he asked me to the back and he was flirting with me across the bar. Falsworth warned me he was fruity and I told him good thing I have a sweet tooth then." Bucky laughed.

He smiled thinking back to the day, "He asked me what to do if you asked. I assumed he knew how I felt about you but maybe he knew how you felt about me..."

"Always wondered what they would've thought of us." Steve hummed.

"They wouldn't have liked it."

"But you said-"

"As far as I'm concerned he took my comment as a joke and assumed I kicked the guys ass, Steve. They wouldn't have liked it especially knowing you were their commanding officer and I was second in charge. There's not only that but there is the fact we also shared a tent and a sleeping bag more then once."

Steve nodded solemnly, "You're probably right."

"Don't matter if I'm right or wrong we’ll never know. God I'm surprised they didn't find out about me given how obvious I was." He sighed thinking back to the bar, "Damn it, Steve, I called the guy by your name."

He chuckled, "That desperate for me huh?"

"Damn right, Stevie."

"I got so mad at you for calling me Cap back then."

"And now you get off on it. Who'd'a thunk."

Steve closed his eyes thinking back to the day, he didn't seem to remember it as well as Bucky did, "How do you remember this day so clearly? I barely remember it."

Bucky gulped, "It's the day you called me a pervert. Said if I didn't get myself thinking straight you'd let me off."

"I don't... I don't remember that. "

"That's how I know they wouldn't have liked it. You knew about me and you didn't care about shit. You didn't care how I felt or if I needed to talk to my best friend. You threatened to let me go and never see me again, Steve. I can't even begin to tell you how many times you broke my heart during the war."

"Bucky I'm sorry."

"I know. It's not your fault. You still don't remember that one though, remember the day you saved me from that bombing after you and Peggy got in a fight?"

Steve nodded.

"The day before that. Was kinda hoping I'd die." He laughed. 

He frowned. He hated when Bucky talked about wanting to die. The thought of losing him before was overwhelming enough he couldn't lose him again.

"That gal still watching?" He asked.

Steve nodded.

Bucky stood up and pulled Steve to his feet.

"What are you-"

"Shush-" he whispered leaning forward and pulling him into a heated kiss.

Steve gasped wrapping his arms around his neck pulling him closer.

Bucky nipped at his bottom lip pushing his tongue into his mouth.

Steve moaned pulling at Bucky hair.

Bucky let his hand run down Steve's side to his hip then the small of his back before down to his ass giving it a squeeze.

Steve gasped pulling away.

He chuckled, "If your cute little ass won't protect me from prying eyes I guess I have to do it myself and that may include a handful of yours."

Steve looked around, "She's no longer watching."

Bucky nodded.

"That means you can take your hand off my ass."

He shook his head, "No thank you I happen to like it quite a lot." He said kneading at it like he was making bread.

Steve sighed shaking his head letting his own hand run over Bucky's chest, "Gonna smack it too?"

"Wasn't planing on it. Least not in public but if that's what you'd like I'll pull you over my knee and pull those trunks down right here."

Steve flushed glad to be pressing against Bucky's body.

"Wanna show em what you're hiding under those pretty clothes, sweetheart?"

He whimpered hiding his face in Bucky's shoulder. 

Bucky laughed looking around before pushing Steve away, "come on, baby. Let's go for a walk. Assuming you can wait that is. I'm willing to bet well end up in the ocean sooner rather then later." He smirked.

Steve's face stayed red as he sat back down pulling a towel into his lap. "What is it now, Stevie baby?" Bucky teased knowing full well what was wrong.

Steve scoffed looking around, "Don't act like you don't know, Punk."

"Please enlighten me oh dear husband of mine. I am sure you can put it much sweeter then I ever could."

Natalia's crawled over to them babbling away to herself. Once she got to their feet she paused and pointed at her belly. 

"Hungry baby girl?" Steve asked going to pick her up. He stopped mid way with a broken groan looking at Bucky to please pick her up for him. He was no about to hold his child when he had a hard on.

Bucky chuckled picking Natalia up, "Come on Natalia we'll get you a bottle." He whispered.

He walked over to pulling out a bottle Thankful for the bungalow so that they didn't have to go back to the ship just go a bottle.

He turned to Steve, "Please hold your daughter so that I can heat up her bottle I do not believe you want me to feed her cold milk now do you?" Steve stood up taking the bottle away.

"Wowza baby." Bucky laughed eyeing Steve up and down.

"You're a pervert."

"Only for you." Bucky grinned taking a seat to wait.

He started heating up the bottle smiling over at Bucky who was playing with th baby.

"Ey; eyes on the milk. Cold milk is only slightly better then burnt milk."

"And you would know this how? I'm assuming you haven't gone around drinking our daughters formula."

Bucky laughed, "You're a dumbass you know."

Steve grinned, "And you're an annoying jerk."

He smiled back at his husband, "I love you."

"Yeah yeah my dick loves you too daddy." Steve muttered pouring the milk back into the bottle.

He handed the bottle to Bucky sitting back down.

"Why thank you, papa." Bucky smirked.

"Why?"

Bucky shrugged, "You called me daddy. I assumed it was because Natalia was here. Don't want her calling me Bucky now do we. Which only means I should call you papa so that she doesn't go about calling you Steve."

"I guess it's become second nature I hadn't even noticed." Steve explained.

Bucky laughed flicking one of his nipples, "That or you're just so horny you actually want to call me daddy."

"I'll go back to Peggy and potato's and cold soup before I call you "Daddy" in bed." He promised.

"I'd bite you if Natalia wasn't here right now."

"Kinky."

He smiled leaning closer and giving him a small kiss and leaning his forehead against Steve's, "I love you, Baby." He whispered.

Steve smiled, "Wish you'd call me that more often. Like the pet names." He muttered.

"Alright you big baby."

"Not what I meant!"

He broke into laughter, "All right, baby." He grinned.

Steve kissed him again.

"Behave yourself, Stevie." He warned.

"I am! You said I could kiss you whenever I wanted!" He whined.

Bucky sighed, "Guess you're right I did. Still, control yourself. At least until Natalia finishes her bottle. We can close the curtains and have some fun although I doubt it'll block out much."

He leaned close to Steve holding the bottle for Natalia.

Steve smiled wrapping an arms round his husband.

"Feel good, baby." He whispered.

"Now who's misbehaving?" Steve laughed.

"No you just have a dirty mind. I said it feels good not 'oh fuck baby yes yes that feels good that's it that's the spot'."

Steve blushed biting his lip his arousal coming back at Bucky's sex voice.

He chuckles, "You're too easy, baby."

"Only for you. Everyone else thinks I'm some prude."

"Kinky prude." Bucky corrected.

"Okay okay just quit teasin'."

He smiled a slight seductiveness hidden behind it.

Checking to be sure Natalia had finished her bottle he took it away and took her out of the bungalow, "Go to your Aunty Pepper she'll watch you." He whispered and making sure she was crawling in the right direction he shut the mostly see through curtains on all four sides.

He turned to Steve with a smirk, "Alright baby we're all alone now." He whispered walking over and wrapping his arms around Steve's neck sitting on his lso.

"Again." He whispered back.

"Kiss me, baby." He nipped at his chin.

Steve groaned giving him a hard kiss biting his bottom lip leaving it red.

He kicked his lip when Steve pulled away raising an eyebrow, "You bit hard! I'm bleeding!" He said in shock. He wasn't sure why he should've expected it coming from Steve.

Steve was barely paying attention eyes glazing over in list as his breathing went hard and deep.

"You wanna fool around baby?"

"Fuck yes." He gasped pulling closer.

Bucky let his hands run over Steve's body as if the first time he was doing it, "Your cock hard for me, baby?" He asked; his hand making its way between Steve's legs and giving him a hard squeeze.

"Want you in me." Steve gasped already arching his back.

Bucky pulled off and pulled Steve to his feet.

He pulled him back into a heated kiss pushing him up against the dresser. Making sure to keep Steve distracted in the kiss as to not draw his attention to the fact that if anyone were to give the bungalow a second glance they'd be able to find out what they were doing he pulled his swim trunks down.

Carefully he let go of Steve moving him around and pushing him down against a desk, "You have any lube?" He asked.

Steve nodded pointing over to a bag, "carry it around everywhere."

"Slut."

"You're the one who needs to stick their dick in anything they can." Steve argued back.

"But you're the one who always needs a cock in you." Bucky smirked pouring some lube onto his fingers and pushing them in to shit his husband up.

He worked him open listening and showering in the praise in Steve's words and whimpers.

"Bucky, please." He gasped pushing against him.

Bucky pulled his fingers out pushing his trunks down enough to get his dick out.

"Wait!" Steve shouted when Bucky pressed against his gaping hole.

"What? " Bucky asked worriedly, "Did I hurt you?"

"Want it on my back." Steve answered.

"I don't-" Bucky started confused.

Steve stood up turning around. He got up on the counter and wrapped his legs around Bucky's waist, "I want to be on my back because I want you to choke me when I ask."

He choked at the thought nodding. He gave himself a second to get his breath back before pushing into Steve.

Steve gasped tossing his head back.

Bucky grinned and got started not waiting to give Steve time to adjust.

He whimpered as Bucky fucked him like no tomorrow and he let his hands run over his chest panting and moaning.

"Fuck Stevie baby you feel so good." Bucky grunted.

Steve nodded blubbering incoherently clenching around him.

"Oh god I'm gonna-" he wrapped his hand around Steve's dick stroking him trying and failing to keep the same pace as his thrusts.

"Choke me." Steve moaned.

"Don't wanna accidentally drop you." Bucky grunted as he fucked him, the fridge moving as Steve grabbed it for some balance.

"Won't drop me. I got a good grip on the fridge." Steve promised.

Bucky glanced at the fridge untrusting. The fridge was moving with each thrust there was no way Steve wouldn't fall.

He wrapped his hand around Steve's throat trying his best to trust his husband even if he couldn't trust the fridge.

Steve gasped arching into him, "Fuck baby yes yes that's it." He moaned voice hoarse and stuck in his throat. 

Bucky but Steve's shoulder to keep from moaning. Steve may be fine letting the beach hear a show but he sure wasn't. He tried his best to slow down his thrusts afraid of hurting Steve.

"Faster Bucky faster." Steve begged.

Bucky whined speeding up because who was he to deny his Stevie.

He gasped tightening his grip around Steve's throat, "Steve, Steve, Steve, yes, oh god-" he yelled throwing his own head back as his voice went up an octave letting him know he was close.

"Fuck Bucky that's it. So close. Give it to me. Give it to me good." Steve led him on.

He got frantic thrusting into Steve and barely managing to come out as he tried to keep a somewhat normal pace.

Too much. It was too much for him and he was to close.

Steve moaned over and over moaning his name for all heaven and hell to hear as the fridge shook at how hard Steve gripped it.

"Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, oh yes yes yes- DADDY!" He shouted as he came letting his head roll.

He gasped looking up at Steve. He tightened his grip around his neck coming not far behind.

Steve held into the fridge and Bucky for dear life his mouth falling open as he realized what he had called Bucky.

"I-"

Bucky couldn't help but smirk into Steve's shoulder as he pulled out of him, "You gonna only eat potato's now Stevie babe?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh my god." Steve cried getting out of Bucky's arms.

With jelly legs he stumbled to pull his trunks back on.

Bucky gave his ass a whack when he bent down for his swimsuit.

Steve whimpered instinctively leaning forward.

"No." He reminded himself before pulling his trunks on, "Oh god I shouldn't have- I am so sorry." he finished before running off.

Bucky smiled to himself, 'Oh Stevie.' He wondered his mind trailing off.

He sighed grabbing some wet paper towels. He was not about to leave a mess on the ground for some sorry sap to have to clean up for them.

He finished cleaning the mess off the ground when something dropped onto his head. He glanced up confused, "Oh you've got to be kidding me that mans got aim!" He laughed. Steve never did fail to surprise him.

'Oh god oh god oh god oh god' Steve thought to himself as he stumbled through the beach. He had not just called Bucky daddy of all things. God he could kill himself.

"You drunk buddy? It's not even happy hour yet." A lifeguard asked.

"isn't happy hour at like four?" Steve wondered.

The lifeguard shrugged, "I don't drink."

Steve nodded and kept walking. He didn't know where nor did he care he just knew he had to get out if Bucky's general vicinity before he kept apologizing it had to endure the jokes Bucky was undoubtably making up as he ran.

He ran past some girls hula dancing and came to an abrupt stop thinking he had seen Natasha.

"Oh thank god I thought you were the one dancing and I almost went into shock." He sighed seeing Natasha standing but not dancing.

"Please if there's anyone you should worry about It's Wanda. Been thinking she wants to move out here when she retires."

"Yeah well I just called Bucky Daddy during sex so I don't know who has a bigger problem right now. I need to go before he finds me. I am never living this down."

She turned to him with wide eyes, "You what?"

He nodded and broke off into a sprint.

Bucky followed not far behind, "Have you seen, Steve? I think he's a little embarrassed." He explained

She pointed in Steve's direction not wanting to go through the conversation again.

He smiled, "Thanks doll." He added.

"Awe no problem daddy." She responded in a sweet voice unable to help herself.

He wanted to laugh but he had to find Steve. He ran off in the direction hoping he didn't have to run long.

Steve sighed coming to a stop. So he had to face his husband eventually. At least he was over the initial mortification of it.

He waited a few minutes but Bucky still hadn't shown.

He sighed and slowly started walking.

'I need some water.' He thought to himself and walked over to an empty bathroom area with a vending machine.

He drank down the water and hummed thinking to himself before opening the bathroom door. He didn't know how far behind Bucky was so he figured he might as well take a leak.

"Oh god!" He shouted quickly closing the door finding three men going at it in the bathroom not even bothering to use a stall.

Bucky somehow managed to pop up behind him, "Whatcha doing?" He asked.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now. You scared me, Stevie." He whispered caressing his face.

Steve smiled leaning into the touch before pushing him away, "No!"

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, "Steve- baby,"

"No."

"Baby come on. Please. For daddy?" He asked breaking into a laugh.

Steve groaned, "See?! I knew you were going to do this!" He snapped.

Bucky smiled his laughs dying down, "That was the only one I swear. But come on, baby. Talk to me."

Steve sighed leaning back against the wall.

Bucky took his chance stepping closer taking Steve's hand when it was offered.

"I didn't mean to I'm sorry." he explained , "I think I was just a little... caught up."

"I'm not complaining. I didn't mind it. I mean is if the biggest kink? No not really. I won't mind if you do or you don't do it. If you like it then I'm all for it. "

Steve blushed, "You don't haveta-"

"I Know. But I mean it's different. If it was the choking I didn't like we wouldn't do that but it's not that I don't like this I just don't have an opinion on it. Do it or don't."

He gave him a soft kiss on the lips and grabbed his hand leading him away, "Come on. There's only a few minutes left before the fire show. "

Steve followed along behind him his face hot with embarrassment. 'Nope. No I can't do this. Gotta run.' He thought to himself wanting to run and hide his face forever.

Other got to the stage and walked over to where the other were.

He smiled taking Natalia thankful for a distraction from his mind, "Hey Natalia. Papa missed you. So did da- bu- father."

Well fuck. He couldn't call him daddy again now could he?

Bucky chuckled whacking his ass lightly, "Behave Stevie."

Steve turned looking at him for some help, "I don't- but-."

Bucky frowned with a light nod. He liked teasing him but he didn't want him to be upset. He took Natalia from his arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek setting her down into the chair.

"Papa and I are going to go have a little talk okay? Behave for your aunts and uncles." He warned the baby taking Steve's hand and pulling him away. They walked neither sure where to go but just trying to find a private, remote area to be together.

It took some looking but they found a small dark room and Bucky pulled his husband into it.

"What do I call you?" He asked, "I can't call you daddy because then it.. this isn't fair." he whined.

"Well to our daughter you call me daddy." he walked closer to Steve backing him up to the wall, "In bed, you call me daddy." He smirked whispering in Steve's ear in his sex voice.

Steve whined trying to get out of the box Bucky had made with his arms, "I can't it's too..."

Bucky smirked, "Too?" He started mopping at Steve's jaw.

"Did you like what you saw in that bathroom?" Steve asked. He wasn't even sure if Bucky saw it or not but he was slowly starting to feel self conscious.

He blushed his hoping coming to a stop, "I mean the thought of you getting fucked and blown has tossed my mind..." he answered.

"But I'm not planning on sharing you any time soon." He added as an after thought going back to his jaw and neck.

"Well if I'm being honest it kinda... turned my crank."

"Is that what this is?" Bucky smiled reaching down to cup Steve's hard-on.

"You too?"

Bucky rolled his eyes unsure where Steve was getting at, "You're the only one I want or need Steve. Did it do nothing? No I'm not going to lie the thoughts great. Getting done from both sides...."

"Cuz you like to watch right?" Steve asked ignoring Bucky's last statement.

Bucky stuttered, "I don't know what you're- why would I-"

Steve smirked, "I knew it you perv. The mirror. The photos. God the videos. There's a fucking file on our computer and I know I didn't make it. Explains why you don't wake me up either. Like watching."

"I never- I tried waking you up that never worked." Bucky said trying to regain some of his dignity.

"No it didn't so you just what? Watch my hump my pillow?"

He refused to lift his head from Steve's neck, "No! I never- I can't exactly get up and leave- I try to get you off when it's me you're- not that way- I try to get you off of me I meant- it just doesn't always work."

Steve hummed grinding against Bucky's thigh, "Nnnh you jerk off while I do it?"

"Not while you do it."

"So after?"

"N- yes. Not in bed. And I never touch you because I wouldn't do that to you while you're asleep. I wait for you to finish because it's easier to sneak off when you're not moaning and then I just go to the bathroom." He could feel the last shred of dignity he was trying to save shrivel up and die the longer he talked.

Steve grinned; "Wanna watch me Buck?"

He couldn't help his whine as he big into Steve's shoulder; "Not now."

Steve whined pinching his nipple earning himself a squeak.

"Steve!" He admonished pulling away finally letting hi face away from its hiding spot.

"What time is it?" He asked.

Steve checked his watch- yes the one Bucky had bought him, "I:15." He answered.

"Fire show don't start til 9/30." Bucky muttered. He turned Steve around and bent him forward so his arms were pressed against the wall trying to hold himself up.

"Wanna play?" He whispered.

"Bucky-"

"You don't get to answer. I know you wanna play and if you didn't then too bad because you don't get to talk to me that way and get away with it." He said his voice deep and teasing.

Steve gulped his legs spreading automatically.

He smirked pulling Steve's swim trunks down.

As soon as his ass was bare Bucky cracked him a good pen leaving his cheek red. Steve jumped his dick leaking between his legs.

"Touch me." He whispered.

"No. Not yet. " Bucky whispered back and struck him again.

He groaned, "Yeah Bucky yeah again." He gasped.

He kept going until both his cheeks were red and stinging and h e was panting his cock hanging desperate for some release.

"Good job, Stevie."

"Nnn more. Again. " Steve panted pushing his ass out for more.

Bucky laughed, "Sorry Stevie. We don't have much times and I still wanna get my cock in you."

He grabbed the bottle of lube, what? He wasn't about to leave it in the bungalow, and quickly opened Steve up.

Once he was sure he was prepped enough he pushed into Steve.

He gasped automatically clenching around Bucky.

"Fuck baby you're so tight." Bucky groaned starting out slow.

He slowly thrust in and out pulling at Steve's hair through the process.

"Fuck you drive me crazy. L" he panted speeding up.

"Harder, Bucky. Harder." Steve moaned.

"Bucky? Thought I was daddy now." Bucky smirked unable to help but tease him at least a little. He wrapped his hand around Steve stroking him before he could answer.

"Ah that's- oh god-" Steve moaned, "God baby- Bucky- fuck you feel so good i-"

He pressed his hips against Steve's ass grinding in a slow circle and Steve cried out trying to take more.

"That's right Steve is. Gonna get you all hot and bother til you have no choice but to lose control think you can do that for me, baby? Think you can lose controla? Touch yourself, Stevie. Touch yourself for me." He whispered as he started pounding into him. He barely pulled out of him as he did so refusing to give him much time too between.

"Gonna make sure you can't even stand tomorrow, Stevie. What kinda man would I be if you can get out of her walking."

Steve chewed on his lip pulling at Bucky's hair trying to stay concentrated and not let go. He was not going to give Bucky the satisfaction of having been called daddy not once but twice in the same day.

"Come on baby you know it's so much better when you're not in your head. Just sat it. Say the words. You know you'll feel great. You'll know you'll come hard. I'll get you to come twice baby I swear just stop thinking so much." Bucky pantsed pressing his hips back to Steve's ass and rubbing up against his prostate tears streaming down Steve's face.

"Can't-cant take more Bucky, please I- oh how I-" he sobbed and started touching himself. He let his hand stroke himself, his other hand pinching at his nipples as he cried out for Bucky.

"Yes yes yes!" He cried his hand flailing and hitting some machine nearby.

Bucky didn't pay it a second thought. Couldn't be that important right?

"That's right, Stevie play with yourself."

"Ah ah Bucky-Bucky- Fuck gonna ruin me with that huge cock of yours I- oh fuck daddy!" He cried pushing back against him.

Bucky grinned feeling satisfactory, "That's right baby gonna ruin you. Gonna Fuck you nice and hard."

He stopped talking breaking off in a moan as he came.

Steve moaned his hand pumping himself like no tomorrow before he finally managed to spill between his fist.

Bucky pulled out of Steve looking around for a towel or he'll even a napkin to clean Steve up.

Steve rested his forehead against the wall panting his hand still playing with his chest as he came down from his high his cock immediately peeking up again.

Bucky scratched his head unsure how they were to get out with Steve covered in both their cum.

"Stevie do you think you could- oh wow you're ready already." He whispered mouth going dry.

Steve hummed turning his he's slightly, "Sorry, Bucky, can't stop playing with myself now." He mumbled as if blaming him.

Bucky laughed walking over and pressing soft sweet kisses all over his face, "Yeah baby I can tell. Like playing with that chest of yours or is your dick just too sensitive to touch again?" He asked faking sincerity.

"I wanna fuck you now." Steve said getting off the wall. His legs went numb under him and he fell to the ground.

Bucky smiled, "Steve I don't know if that's such a great idea. You can barely stand!"

"Wanna fuck you in the snow." Steve pouted.

"In the snow?" Bucky asked faking surprise, "Well Stevie, I don't know if you've noticed but were in Hawaii. Wanna fuck me in the sand?"

Steve whined, "I said snow, Bucky!"

Bucky chuckled, "that you did. I'll find some snow for you."

He lit up.

"Baby you having a drop? Or you stuck in space?" He wondered.

Steve shrugged, "I think space. Space would be cool."

"Yeah. We can do it on a space ship

Steve closed his eyes with a hum pinching his nipple, "Want you're mouth on me. Can I fuck you and you then suck me?"

Bucky smiled again getting down on the ground, "Anything for you sweetheart.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Let me fuck you."

"Were almost out of lube there isn't enough for you to fuck me."

"Can I fuck your thighs?"

"Yeah. You can do that. Might hurt."

"Don't care. Can you wake me up by fucking me if I start humping a pillow again?"

"Well I guess that's consent so yes. You realize you're still playing with yourself?"

Steve looked over at Bucky before down at himself letting go.

Bucky laughed at how red Steve's face got at him pointing it out.

"Stevie it's okay if you want to keep touching yourself."

Steve shook his head, "Shut up!" He said refusing to look at him.

He smiled leaning over and kissing Steve, "I love you you adorable little slut." He whispered kissing his nose next.

Steve scrunched up his nose and grabbed him by the shoulder and pulling him back to kiss his mouth.

Bucky smiled kissing him back.

He stood up pulling Bucky up as well and picked him up.

Bucky laughed wrapping his legs around him.

"Can I-"

Bucky nodded handing him the bottle.

Steve gladly accepted it and squirted what was left of it onto Bucky's thighs.

He gasped at the cold and Steve smirked, "I was stuck in the Atlantic for seventy years. You can handle a little lube on your thighs. Plus, I'll make sure to warm you up real good."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. Where the hell had had sun space Steve just gone?

Steve's stance changed at the loo on Bucky's face, "I-I just meant if that's okay you know." He laughed nervously

There he was.

Bucky smiled kissing Steve, "Warm me up, Stevie."

He grinned glad at the approval thrusting his cock in between Bucky's thighs.

Bucky gasped squeezing his thighs. With every thrust Steve gave it pushed Bucky up towards him and his cock rubbed against his abs.

Steve groaned, "Bucky baby these thighs of yours..."

Bucky whined. He hated he couldn't do much more then just make sure he kept his legs closed for Steve.

"Fuck baby your cock rubbin' against me like nothin'."

He whimpered grabbing onto Steve pulling him closer to hide his face, "Don't talk so dirty, Stevie." He whined.

Steve grunted, "How can't I baby just wanna have your cock in me all the time fuck if I could I would never get off it."

"Fuck you." Bucky gasped, "Shoving that big thing between my legs like I don't just wanna spread them for you."

Steve dropped his head againat his shoulder listening to all the nothings Bucky talked about. Every little dirty word or I love you he said. He moaned, "Oh god," and Bucky squeezed his legs tighter letting him blow his load all over him.

Bucky looked down at himself to see his chest covered him cum and laughed, "Damn, Steve "

Steve blushed. Pushing Bucky further up the wall he took him in his mouth.

"Steve you don't have to." Bucky said too far gone. All it took was a few moves and he was moaning Steve's name as he came.

* * *

Natasha checked the time. The fire show had just started and Steve sand Bucky were ni where to be seen. The reason she found it weird was because Natalia was there which could only mean they weren't far away.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"I don't know where Barnes-Rogers and Barnes-Rogers are and I'm starting to worry about what itwhere they are." She explained.

"It's probably nothing." Tonybshrugged taking a seat just as a man blew out the fire.

The lights in the back went out and suddenly so did the music.

"What the fuck?"

Natasha sighed, "How much you wanna bet it's them?"

Tony gaped pointing at the white backdrop, "I ain't taking you up on that bet. "

Natasha turned around to see a Steve and Bucky silhouettes fucking behind the screen.

"Oh god!" She shouted quick to cover the baby's eyes.

"Damn Steve get it." Sam laughed eating his popcorn.

Natasha hit his arm, "It's not a movie!"

"No It's a porno. I still don't know why he went into avenging instead of porn. They'd be richer." He snapped.

Tony nodded, "He's not wrong I know a few people who would pay good money."

"Oh m god you pervs!" Natasha scoffed standing up, "Tell me If Steve calls Bucky daddy's he does Clint owes me a hundred dollars." 

* * *

They were lying on the ground both with dopey smiles on their faces entangled in each others limbs. 

A knock came from the door and they both looked over.

"Occupied." Bucky responded.

"Yeah go find another place. My husbands too busy fucking me in here." Steve snapped.

Bucky shushed his husband, "Stevie you can't go around yelling that. Not when we broke in here."

Steve giggled, "I forgot about that part."

"Yeah we know we saw." Sam said from the other side of the door.

"You saw? How did you see?" Bucky asked confused.

"Did you by chance hit a box or maybe a switch?" Sam smirked.

Steve giggled again hiding his face in Bucky's chest, "Sorry."

Bucky smiled down at Steve, "Sorry about that, Wilson. Steve here doesn't know how to control himself sometimes."

"It's true!" Steve backed him up.

"Okay just come out before someone who works here sends you to jail." Sam muttered walking away.

Bucky kissed Steve's head, "Sometimes I wish this weren't legal just because I know it would at least stop us from doing bull shit like this."

Steve hummed, "Shut up. I want to sleep. You have a nice chest."

"Why thank you I must say I prefer yours." Bucky smiled.

"I know you do. You're always playing with it." Steve said matter o of factly.

Bucky chuckled, "Says the one who's pinching their nipples as we speak. "

Steve blushed letting his hands fall from his chest, "Feels nice?" He tried uselessly.

"Yeah I sure bet it feels nice." Bucky ask irked pinching his nipple

He gasped arching into his touch, "Not so hard, buck."

"Steve is we both know you like a little pain with your pleasure. M" Bucky chuckled tpinchung him again.

He'd moving onto his back instead of being plastered against Bucky as if he was a dog waiting

"You want me to play with your pecs, Stevie?"

"Please?" Steve asked hiding his face in his arms.

Bucky smiled crawling onto him he bit down on one of his nipples earning a silent scream.

He grinned licking it, "See? You like the pain. Don't worry it'll still feels good." He promised lightly nipping and sucking on his pecs.

Steve squirmed and whimpered as bucky played with his right nipple leaving his left forgotten.

"Bucky!" He gasped.

"Shh shh it's okay baby it's okay." Bucky whispered. He kicked a long stride over his nipple before blowing some cold air onto it, "Could cut glass with these things." He marveled.

"So so sensitive." He teased.

Steve bit his lip.

"Bet I can get you off on just these." He whispered.

Steve shook his head, "No. No, Buck I don't- don't wanna just get off on-" Steve broke off whining.

"Why not?" Bucky asked, worry clear in his voice.

"Embarrassing."

"Good embarrassing?"

Steve shook his head no, "Nuh uh. The way the muscle- and they just- you call 'em tits." He mumbled.

Bucky frowned, "Honey it's just a joke. I'm just trying to make you feel good."

"Feels good." Steve assured him, "Don't like how they look. Don't stop though. Please."

He nodded and went back to what he was doing. He kept glancing up at Steve. He wanted to be sure he wasnt uncomfortable.

Steve moaned soon enough squirming under Bucky.

He lifted his hand to play with his abandoned nipple when Bucky whacked it out of the way.

"My turn to play, Stevie you don't get to touch." He growled and just to spite him didn't change sides.

"Love all of you, baby." He whispered sitting up letting his hands play with Steve's pecs.

Steve groaned his hands grabbing Bucky's wrists and leading him to pinch his nipples.

He let go of one reaching down to stroke Steve's thigh in hopes of calming him down.

"Get out of your head, Stevie. Does it feel good?"

"So good." Steve panted.

"Yeah? Want me to play with them more often?" He asked. His hand had abandoned Steve's thigh and gone to his own dick to jerk off.

He nodded to far gone to make sense of any words.

"It's okay, Stevie. You can come."

Bucky tossed his head back as he came.

He moaned looking down at Steve whose face he had ended up painting.

"Shit I'm sorry." He said going to clean his face.

Steve gasped gripping Bucky's hips, "Bucky!" He moaned as he came.

He closed his eyes panting.

Bucky couldn't help but smirk proud of himself, "Told you I could get you off like that. Just so happened to also cum on your face."

Steve licked his lips, "Love how you taste."

He scrunched his nose kissing Steve, "I love you but. No." He laughed.

Steve shrugged, "It's you and I love you so ..."

Bucky smirked biting his tongue, "You're eating my children, Steve."

"I don't think I need to explain to you how children are made do I?" Steve giggled.

He rolled his eyes helping Steve to his feet. He frowned wiping his face clean, "That's the best as I can do right now. I really am sorry."

Steve wasn't paying attention just leaning against Bucky, "Dress me?" He asked with a yawn.

"Lazy ass." He muttered picking up Steve's swim trunks and helping him into them.

As yet dressing himself he walked out with Steve in tow.

"Well hello daddy." Tony said, arms crossed.

Steve blushed trying to hide against Bucky's arm.

"The only people allowed to call me daddy are Steve and my daughter, Stark. So do it again and you'll lose that tongue of yours." Bucky said wrapping his arm around Steve's shoulders unable to help the protective feeling he got.

Tony muttered something under his breath but walked away when Bucky raised an eyebrow.

He followed him not letting go when Steve tried to pull away.

They got back to the cabin and Steve threw himself onto the bed.

Bucky chuckled, "Thought you wanted me to fuck you again."

Steve grumbledlifyiNg his ass into the air.

He laughed smacking his ass and pushing him over so he could get into bed, "Let's sleep." He whispered pulling him closer.

Steve grinned getting comfortable in Bucky's arms, "Don't ever let me go." He mumbled his hand running up and down his side.

* * *

Day 45 New Zealand

Natasha snuck into Steve and Bucky's cabin. Careful not to bump into anything she leaned against the door to make sure they were actually asleep.

Hearing no noise she cracked open the door looking in to be sure.

She smiled and walked in walking over to Steve's side of the bed.

"Steve." She whispered to shaking him slightly.

Steve groaned leaning over to throw up, instead bumping into Natasha's legs.

He looked up confused, "Natasha? What are you doing here?" He whispered careful not to wake Bucky up.

"Were you seriofly about to throw up?"

Steve shrugged, "I get motion sick. If I wake up to shaking while on a boat I assume I'm dying."

"I want to go somewhere but if I go with Tony or Clint they're going to make fun of me."

"How do you know I won't?"

"You're Steve. Please?"

"What time is it?"

"Six. You usually wake up an hour later anyways you'll just... sleep in tomorrow."

Steve sighed but nodded, "Okay. I'll- I'll be out in a few."

She smiled, "Thank you!" She said kissing his cheek and walking away.

He rolled his eyes rolling back over to Bucky, "Bucky?" He whispered.

Bucky groaned holding him tighter.

"Baby?"

Bucky ignored him.

Steve blushed, his dumbass of a husband was going to make him say it again wasn't he?

"Daddy?"

He smiled opening an eye, "Told ya you'd say it again. You like that, Stevie? Yeah? You want daddy to help you out with a little problem you have? Although I must say it's not so little " he teased grabbing the waistband of Steve's boxers and pulling him closer.

Steve laughed, "You're so stupid!"

Bucky frowned, "And you're not hard." He pointed out pulling at his boxers to check.

"Yeah I'm not." Steve laughed at the disappointment on his face.

"Then why the hell did you wake me up at this ungodly hour?" He asked snapping the waistband back into place.

"Natasha needs me or something. I didn't want you to wake up worried."

"Well next time leave a note and don't get me excited and horny for no reason." Bucky muttered hugging his pillow pretending to be upset, "I prefer sub space Steve."

"For the last time that is not what that is!"

"It is and you know it! You're lucky you didn't have a drop in the middle of nowhere. I know you're not going to admit it too until you fucking humiliate yourself in public trying to convince yourself that you're fine only to end up on your knees in front of me begging for my cock!"

Steve smiled softly, 'Why do you always have to argue with me?' He wondered leaning over and kissing his forehead.

"If I'm at your feet begging I don't see what you have to lose." He whispered before getting up. He changed into some clothes deciding to shower when he got back and went to find Natasha.

"What exactly are we doing?" He asked following her into an Uber.

"You know Lord of the Rings?" She asked.

He nodded. It was one of the movies Sam had told him to put on his list to watch.

"Well they have a set here and I really really want to go see it." She explained.

Steve nodded, "You are so lucky I love you."

"Aw I love you too, Stevie but you're married." She joked.

"He'll never know." Steve joked back.

"That is true."

They both laughed.

Natasha spent the day freaking out over every little detail while Steve watched in amazement.

He was beginning to understand why she didn't want to bring Tony.

"Natasha?" He asked.

She turned around, "What?"

"I think it's time to go." He laughed.

"But the pumpkin!" She whined pointing at the giant pumpkin she was waiting in line to get a picture with.

"How much longer then?"

"Thirty minutes?"

He glanced at his watch, "Fine. Thirty minutes."

She lit up stepping forward in line.

Steve went back to sit down where he was, his phone ringing.

"Hey, Wanda."

"Hey where are you guys? You've been gone all day."

"Did my husband tell you to check in on me?"

"No?"

He chuckled, "They with you?"

"Yeah. But seriously, where are you guys?"

"Natasha wanted to go to the set of God of the Crown or something."

"Lord of the Rings?"

"That's the one."

Wanda laughed, "Yeah she hasn't stopped watching that one in weeks. I don't really understand the appeal."

"Gotta ask Bucky. He likes this show with this talking dragon?"

He could hear Bucky's scoff.

"It's not just a talking dragon." He muttered and both Steve and Wanda laughed.

Natasha got her picture taken with the pumpkin and ran to see it squealing.

"Jesus Christ." Steve breathed looking over at Natasha.

Wanda smiled, "What? Did an actual goblin pop up?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Shes fine. Just happy. Is everything okay with Vision? What ever happened about that?"

She frowned, "We had a fight back when I decided to stay at Avengers Tower. It was the first of many... when you realize I'm 28 and he's a robot things..." She explained.

"You're only 28?" Bucky asked.

"Bucky!" Steve laughed.

"What?! Now I feel bad about asking you to carry our child." He muttered.

"Don't. It's something I was glad to experience and I'll gladly do it another time. After losing Pietro I thought I would never want children because I couldn't risk them losing their family too but seeing how you guys do it even though-" Steve didn't hear the rest hanging up and shutting off the phone.

He didn't have to hear about how he was putting Natalia in danger every single day by just having her exist.

Natasha walked over with a happy sigh and bags full of souvenirs, "Okay we can go now."

Nodding he stood up.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I was just talking to Wanda and Bucky."

She frowned, "Did you talk to Bucky about what we talked about?"

He shook his head, "No. not yet."

"Steve-"

"I know. I have to talk to him today."

* * *

They got back to the ship and went towards Wanda and Natasha's room.

Seeing as he had been on the phone with Wanda he assumed she was in her room with Bucky.

"Ah-ah-p!" Natalia laughed crawling over to Steve.

"Oh wow. " Natasha whispered as Steve picked the child up.

"She's getting fast." She laughed.

Steve turned to her, "Yeah she really is. She can stand for a few seconds if she's holding onto things too. And she's about to start talking. Just hoping her first word's papa so I can hold it over Bucky's head for the rest of our lives."

Bucky scoffed, "Of course it'll be Papa you're her favorite. Hasn't even started to pronounce Daddy."

Steve put her back on the ground and sat down in front of her.

Grabbing her hands he helped her stand.

"See?" He grinned.

Wanda laughed, "Eight months. You two are never going to have sex again I read her separation anxiety should start before next month. No babysitters... nothing. She won't want to be away from you."

"Which is exactly why, day after tomorrow, I am taking Bucky out."

Bucky turned to him confused, "You asking me out, Steve?"

"Yeah. Why? Have another hot date?"

"Not as hot as you. Why not tomorrow though?"

Steve looked away, "There's a mission." He answered wary of Bucky's reaction.

"You're- already?"

"I was meant to go back to work a few weeks ago, Bucky."

"I know. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I know." Steve whispered as Natalia fell down.

She sat up looking upset and he had to laugh.

"Let's get you a bottle and to bed."

"Uh-ay?" Natalia asked.

"You're spoiling her. How many cupcakes has she had?"

"Mostly just the frosting. And I make sure it's soft enough that she won't choke. I'd say four in the last twelve days." Bucky answered standing up.

He opened the door and followed Steve out after saying goodnight.

Once they were in their room and Steve had set Natalia in her crib to wait for her bottle Bucky walked up behind him kissing his neck.

"What's wrong? You seem off." He whispered.

Steve smiled, "You know me too well."

"Have to."

He sighed turning around, "I want to start talking about Natalia's future brother or sister."

Bucky frowned, "What's wrong about that? I told you, I want one too."

"That's what makes this so hard. Natalia is in danger every day because of us. Because we have enemies, Bucky. People who want us dead. I don't know if I could do that to another child. Put them at risk? Or what if we die? We leave them all alone?"

He took a step back taking a seat as he thought of Steve's words, "You're right. She is in danger because we have enemies. It's not the ideal circumstances but that doesn't mean I don't want another kid. As for what if we die? You're right we really should talk about that. Figure out what'll happen or who'll take her."

He frowned when Steve made no move to respond. Sighing he grabbed Steve's hand pulling him between his legs, "Hey, she'll be okay. Even if we die she'll be okay because her aunts and uncles love her so much." he whispered placing his hands on both sides of his face and pulling him down for a soft kiss.

"Thank you." Steve whispered.

"Honey are you sure you want to go back to work?"

"Bucky-"

"Im asking because you're worried about dying. If you think you'll die or if you're worried that going back to work will put Natalia in danger I don't want you going back just to be stressed and risk yourself." He explained.

"I don't want to miss her life. But I want to go back to work."

Bucky nodded, "Okay. But if at any point it gets to be too much..."

"I quit. If I can't handle it anymore- I quit. I come back home if it gets too dangerous."

"I don't want you to quit doing what you love."

"If it's putting you and Natalia in danger or I'm not loving it anymore then I quit, Bucky."

"Don't die on me tomorrow, Stevie. Natalia needs her Papa. I need you."

Steve couldn't help but laugh, "Bucky there's no way I'll die tomorrow. Tony got intel about some people wanting to rob a bank and since were here we decided to go stop them."

"I don't care. You go to work you go back with the thought that no matter what it is you could die; you can't have your guard down not even for a second."

"Promise. You're not coming back are you?"

Bucky shook his head. "I'll be there when needed. Fate of the world is in danger or whatever. But one of us has to stay home. One of us is needed here with Natalia. Now if you were to write..."

Steve laughed hugging him.

"No? Aw man okay. ". Bucky said hiding his face in Steve's chest afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down.

"Bucky..." Steve whispered running his back.

"Can we maybe go to sleep, Steve? I don't really want to talk right now." Bucky whispered.

He frowned but nodded, "Yeah. We can sleep."

He hesitated before letting go of Steve and walking away.

He crawled into bed and hugged his pillow close to his body shutting his eyes tight. He wanted Steve to be happy- to do what he loved- but god did it terrify him.

Steve turned off the stove pouring the milk into the bottle and handing it to Natalia.

He walked to the bathroom pulling off his clothes and placing it in the hamper. Splashing some water onto his face he walked out to bed.

"Bucky, I'm going to take your pants off okay?" He asked noticing Bucky was still dressed.

"No." He whined pulling his pillow closer.

"Bucky you can't sleep with pants you'll be kicking me all night because you're uncomfortable." Steve said ignoring his response and starting to pull his pants down.

Bucky whined and kicked, "This is not consensual."

"Hun that didn't work on you when I was sick it's not going to work on me." Steve said throwing the pants into the corner.

He left his shirt on and crawled in behind him wrapping his arms around him.

"Thank you." Bucky muttered annoyed that his husband had had a point on the pants.

"Always." Steve smiled kissing the back of his head and turning off the lights.

* * *

Day 46

After showering and getting his suit on he walked out taking a seat at the foot of his and Bucky's bed.

He looked at his sleeping husband unsure whether to wake him up or not.

Deciding to take him upset at being woken up to upset at having been left he shook his awake.

"Bucky, I'm going." He whispered.

Bucky groaned turning around, "But It's so early?"

"I know. I'll be back in a few hours." He promised kissing his forehead.

Bucky sat up turning towards him, "Did you get enough sleep?"

"Yes."

"Good because I don't want you falling asleep. Did you eat breakfast? You're annoying when you're hungry and you'll get distracted and we don't need anyone punching that pretty face of yours."

"I'll eat when I get back."

"You'll eat now or you're not going anywhere. Do you have your shield?"

"Sam has it he'll give it back when I see him.

Bucky gnawed at his lip before getting up and running to the closet.

He rummaged through a suit case and pulled out Steve's helmet.

"Wear this." He said holding it out.

"You hate the helmet. You say I look like a dweeb."

"You do but it'll keep eyes off you and it'll keep your head safe." Bucky said putting it on Steve's head when he realized he wouldn't do it himself.

"Is it too tight? I don't want to choke you." He asked as Steve pulled Steve the strap.

"Actually maybe that isn't such a bad idea." He muttered pulling it tighter.

Steve gagged, "Bucky!"

"Don't act like I didn't fuck that gag reflex out of you the week we started going out." Bucky scoffed patting his chest.

He didn't move his hand.

"Bucky?"

"Shh." He whispered, "I need to- I just need to feel your heart beating."

Steve frowned, "Maybe I shouldn't go."

"Don't do that. You want to go then go."

"But I also don't want to go. I don't want to miss anything."

"You won't. Now go. I'll see you in a few hours. Alive."

He kissed him before pushing him out.

Steve sighed, "Can I at least say bye to Natalia?!" He asked through the door.

"No! You'll leave thinking you're going to die!" Bucky shouted back.

He sighed leaning against the door.

"Stevie you have to go before I start worrying." Bucky whispered placing his hand against the door.

"Five minutes."

"Baby-"

"I have to wait for the others."

Bucky nodded, "Okay. But I get to tease you about your separation anxiety when you come back."

Steve laughed, "Jerk."

"I'm not the one with separation anxiety. I thought only mothers and babies had that."

"Shut it or I'll beat you up."

"You could try. Or you could just beat my meat."

He scoffed, "You and Clint are not allowed to talk ever again."

"Fine. He's not the one who taught me it." Bucky smirked.

"Who then?"

"Wilson."

"Oh fuck you."

"As long as you keep the suit on you can top me whenever you want."

"Will you wear yours?"

"Like the leather Stevie?"

"You know it."

"Rogers let's go!" Tony called.

Steve sighed, "Tell Natty I love her?" He whispered.

"You'll tell her when you get back because you're coming back."

* * *

"You good?" Natasha asked.

Steve shrugged, "Worried."

"You should be. You haven't been training." She joked immediately feeling bad when she noticed the color drain from Steve's face.

"Hey you'll be fine. Someone tries to shoot you I'll jump in front of you."

"I just- what if- what if something happens?"

"We're the good guys. Nothing bad ever happens to us." Natasha smiled elbowing him.

* * *

Bucky hummed to himself stepping out of the bathroom.

"Look who's awake." He smiled seeing Natalia on the bed playing with her toys.

"Ah-ey!" She giggled holding the toy out to him.

"We can't play, honey. You need to get dressed and fed." He said taking out an outfit for her.

After changing her and dressing her he started on the bottle turning on the tv.

"The avengers are kicking up a storm after shots were fired from inside the building." A reporter said and Bucky ran back to the room to watch.

"Oh god." He whispered hearing shots being fired but not the people in the building.

"Natty I need you to scream if you see anyone." He said walking back to the kitchen afraid of burning his breakfast and Natalia's bottle.

"What's this? The fight is being taken up to the roof! Let's switch to the helicopter camera." The reporter said and the frame changed up to the roof.

He poured the bottle and grabbed his plate walking back.

He handed Natalia her bottle, "Don't tell papa we're eating in bed." He said with a fake glare.

They watched the fight, the camera flipping from Avenger to Avenger but he still didn't see Steve.

He groaned dropping his head to his hands, he probably got shot! The dumbass didn't seem to understand that that shield didn't cover his ass!

"Papa!" Natalia squealed pointing at the tv.

Bucky looked up frantically, afraid the camera would change angles before he could make sure Steve was okay.

"Oh thank god." He whispered clutching his chest.

"Wait..." he said looking over at his daughter, "Say that again?" He asked sure he had misheard.

"Papa!" She giggled again when Steve was back on the screen.

He dropped his plate jumping to his feet, "Natty!" He laughed picking the confused baby up.

"That's right that's papa!" He grinned hugging her.

"Uh-ey Ah-ey." Natalia said.

"Oh my god Steve needs to hear." He whispered hurrying for his phone.

Steve's phone started ringing and he dropped the shield hurrying to grab his phone, "Pause!" He shouted answering the phone.

"Pause?" Everyone repeated confused.

"Bucky? What's wrong? Is Natalia okay?" He asked.

"You did not just answer the phone mid-battle." Bucky answered.

"You called!"

"Right. I'll scream at you later." He paused putting his phone on speaker, "Okay Natty It's your time to shine." He whispered.

"What are you-"

"Natalia who am I talking to? Who's on the tv?"

"Papa!" Natalia grinned proud of herself thanks to all of Bucky's praise.

Steve gaped at the phone, "Wha-what?" He asked voice cracking as he tested up.

Bucky chuckled.

"Shut up. Natalia repeat that baby girl." He whispered.

Bucky turned back to Natalia, "You heard him. Say it again."

"Papa!" She repeated.

"Oh my god you son of a bitch." Steve whispered as he tried not to break down.

Bucky laughed, "You gonna cry now, Steve?"

"I need to go." Steve said hanging up.

He looked around, "Where did they go?"

"Well you called pause and they ran away!" Tony snapped walking away.

Steve gulped following them all out.

"Look I'm sorry but Bucky called. What was I meant to do?"

"Let it go to voicemail!"

"I couldn't just do that. He has Natalia! What if she was hurt?"

"Is she okay?"

"Yes."

"Then what was it?"

Steve smiled, "She said her first word."

"Steve-"

"See? It was important!"

"Steve things like this are going to happen and if you can't come to terms with the fact you're going to miss some of them- as painful as it may seem, you might miss her first steps- hell you might miss her first day of school!"

"But-"

"You need to figure out if you're ready to come back to leading this team because this can't happen again." Tony said before Steve could cut him off again.

He sighed. Was Tony right? Definitely. That didn't make him feel any better.

They got back to the ship and Steve flopped onto the bed.

"Steve?" Bucky asked walking in with a bag.

Steve groaned flipping to his back, "I don't think I can go back to work yet."

"What?"

He sat up, "I- I'm not ready."

Bucky put the bags down and walked up to him grabbing his hands, "What's going on?"

"I don't want to go back. I don't want to miss you and Natalia and I can't miss her life and I'm scared that somethings going to happen and if you call I'll answer it doesn't matter where I am. I'm not ready. I'm not. Please please please don't make me go back." He cried.

Bucky wrapped his arms around him, "Hey I didn't mean to actually scare you. And when I called it was just because I thought you'd want to hear her."

"It's not you it's me. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so scared. Bucky I can't do it yet. I can't go back. Please don't make me go back."

Bucky comforted him until his crying slowed, "I won't ever make you do something you don't want. If you're not ready then you're not ready. You'll go back another day maybe in a few months. It's okay that you're not ready."

Steve pulled away sniffling, his face red with tears, "You mean it? You won't mind?"

"Hell I'd appreciate it but this is up to you." Bucky answered.

Natalia crawled in hearing Steve's cries, "Papa?" She asked crawling up to his feet.

He laughed wiping his face before he picked her up, "You really are talking. God you're such a big girl aren't you?"

"If she doesn't call my daddy soon I'm going to have a fucking meltdown, Steve."

Steve laughed, "I'm sure she'll say it soon enough."

"She better. I'm not exactly into this daddy kink of yours."

"It's not a kink!"

"Like how humiliation isn't a kink of mine? Honey I'm not into it but I accept and respect it. I also will let you call me it on ocasione but for the most part I just want Natty to call me it." He teased.

"Humiliation?"

"Don't act like you don't love it when I call you my dirty little slut." He smirked.

"Anyways I blame hydra." He added, "I'm pretty sure there's a slight voyeurism kink in there too which would explain my urge to do it somewhere we could get caught but it's cancelled out by me not wanting anyone to see you that way because you're mine."

Steve chuckled, "Is that so?" He asked leaning up just enough to kiss him.

"Uck!" Natalia said and they pulled apart.

"Don't "uck" us you're not old enough to "uck" us." Bucky laughed, playfully hitting her head.

She giggled grabbing his hand, "Ah-ey!"

"Hey," Steve smiled, "Papa's not going away again. Not for a while."

Natasha knocked on the door, "Hey you guys coming to dinner?"

Steve quickly cleaned his face to make sure there weren't any tears, "Uh yeah we uh we need to talk to you guys anyways."

She nodded and walked out.

"I can bring you some food. We can do this another day." Bucky whispered wanting to be sure Steve was okay.

Steve smiled, "I'm fine. This is what I want- what I need. And we need to talk to them."

It took him a few more tries to convince Bucky but they headed up to the restaurant.

"Hey." They greeted taking a seat.

Steve glanced at Tony before down at his plate, "I'm going to need some more time off. I'm not ready to go back."

"Glad you've made sense of it all."

"Do you know when you'll come back? Full time." Natasha asked.

He shook his head, "I have no clue but after today it's obvious it's not soon." He laughed.

"Okay we were talking and we still have to ask but we thought we might as well tell you guys now." Bucky said changing subjects.

"Steve was telling me how he's worried something might happen to us one day leaving Natalia alone and orphaned." He continued with a laugh.

"We don't have a next of kin. We die Natalia's alone." Steve added.

"Well that's technically not true. Becca's alive. Not for long though. And there is... her..."

"Her?" Sam asked and Bucky shook his head for him to leave it.

Steve sighed; "If we were to die Clint would get her."

"What?" Natasha asked.

"Me?" Clint added.

"I'm her godmother you son of a bitch!" She yelled.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh, "He has experience with kids and he's raised some damn good ones if you ask me. Or at least Laura has."

"What if he dies?" Tony asked.

"Then Natasha would get her. But we don't trust her not to turn her into a killing machine so Sam would come over every so often." Steve explained.

Sam turned to Bucky, "So if she dies I get her?"

"Well actually..."

"Actually what?"

Steve scratched the back of his head trying to find the best way to tell him, "If Natasha dies... Fury gets her."

"Fury?"

"Bucky thinks it's the best option. I don't see it but..."

"Would you rather these baboons have her?" Bucky snapped.

Natasha looked at them confused at the choice, "Doesn't Fury hate you?"

"Yes but if you die you would've been the last one with Natalia so I am sure he would take her."

"Who has to die for me to get her?" Tony asked.

"Fury."

"But if Pepper dies she's Wanda's." Steve added.

"What?!"

"She has some decency unlike you! You'll turn her into a robot!" He argued.

"That's fucking bullshit!"

"When do I get her?!" Sam yelled.

"If Wanda dies or doesn't want Natalia."

"You barely know Pepper. Why does she get her before I do?"

"You fly around in a bird suit and carry bananas everywhere."

Steve scoffed, "And you carry a hairdryer. And a hairbrush. And a mirror... did I marry a woman?"

"No you married a guy who does his best to look good for you. You should be grateful I pulled down the eyeliner. I used to look like a raccoon."

"Aw but I like your little raccoon face." Steve pouted, "Wait-"

"Ouch." Bucky said, Natasha laughing.

"That's not what I meant." Steve continued trying to correct himself.

"I would hope not."

"You don't look like a raccoon."

"I know that, but do you?"

—————————————————————

Day 47

"Good morning." Bucky murmured against Steve's ear.

Steve smiled turning around to face him, "Morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"Oh god tell me I didn't-"

He laughed, "No. I'm genuinely asking."

"Oh in that case really good. You ready for our date?"

"Yeah. Where are we going?"

"You'll find out. I need to shower first."

Bucky whined as Steve left the bed, "Baby!"

Steve smiled, "Sorry, honey."

"Can I join you?"

"No. No sex today." He smirked closing the door.

"What?" Bucky asked staring at the door.

"Hello hello." Tony said knocking on the door before walking in and taking a seat on the bed.

"So I don't want to go back to work either but I did think that maybe it would be for the best if I helped out with interviews when you guys bring people in."

Tony nodded, "That's fine I guess." He said drinking from his coffee.

"Ooh coffee." Bucky said taking the drink.

They both paused, the drink to Bucky's lips.

"We are getting too comfortable around each other." Bucky said.

"Definitely." Tony agreed and they jumped out to opposite sides of the bed.

"I will see you later, Sergeant Barnes-Rogers." He said clearing his throat.

"A few days, Mr. Stark." Bucky added.

"That seems best." He said hurrying out of the cabin.

Steve stared amazed, "Oh my god."

"Please don't." Bucky begged, "I-I'll do anything but don't bring it up ever again."

"That was-"

"Steve."

"Okay okay!" He laughed closing the door.

He sighed waiting for Steve to shower so they could go.

After thirty minutes Steve walked out, "You're going to get cold." He smiled.

"You want me to wear your gift, Steve?"

"Yes please?" Steve smiled giving him puppy dog eyes.

Bucky laughed changing his shirt.

"Thank you! Let's go."

He grabbed Bucky's hand and led him out.

It took about an hour to get to their destination.

"Steve I'm so confused." Bucky said following him into the building, "Are we watching a movie?"

"Nope. Two tickets."

The man at the register handed him two tickets and they walked through the door.

Bucky looked around confused as he saw space suits and the moon along with many stars, "What are we-"

"You like the stars don't you? Or am I stupid?" Steve asked, nervous he had gotten this wrong.

He smiled leaning against him, "Yeah. I like the stars."

Steve grinned.

"You know people walk on the moon?" He asked as they walked around the planetarium.

"I had no idea."

"Really? I'm sure Tony has connections if you want to g-"

Bucky laughed, "Steve I don't like heights I'm not going to like being on the moon."

"Oh. Okay but my idea was to go see the stars in the actual planetarium this is just how we get there. You're not gonna freak out are you? Because if you are we can just stay out here. Or go somewhere else."

"God you're adorable." He whispered.

Steve blushed and they walked into the room.

"Hey, no need to be embarrassed. I like you worrying." Bucky smiled paying his cheek, "You need to shave before your beard comes in again."

"You don't like it?" Steve asked pretending to be offended. 

"It's not that I don't like it it's just that you won't be going down on me with it."

Steve laughed, "I think you'll change your mind after our dinner."

The lights dimmed and the ones on the roof turned on showing a bunch of constellations.

"Whoah..."

* * *

He poured a cup of soda on Steve.

Steve jumped to his feet searching for where the attack was coming from.

Bucky crossed his arms, "Let's go on a date you said. You fell asleep!"

He cringed turning to Bucky, "I tried. It was three hours long and so boring I don't care about stars."

Bucky frowned, "It's fine. Thank you for bringing me." He smiled softly, "I just wish we could've done something together. Something you'd like."

Steve tried to grab his hand, "I just want to spoil you. You deserve to be spoiled."

"I didn't ask for this."

"You didn't like it?"

"Of course I did! You didn't!"

"Stars and space and science- it isn't my thing." He laughed.

He stood up and followed his husband out of the building.

"Bucky-"

"Where next? Somewhere else that's going to bore you to death?"

"Not to death just to sleep. I wanted to go to dinner but it's still too early so you choose our next activity."

"Well... we were alone. We could go back... I could show you what there is to love about stars- or doing it under them."

Steve laughed, "No thanks I don't want to go to jail."

Bucky pouted, "Fine." He said pushing Steve.

"Don't push me." Steve scoffed pushing him back. He placed his arm around his shoulders pulling him closer before he could do anything to retaliate.

"God no need to be a child." He laughed wrapping his arm around Steve's waist.

"Dorito." He muttered.

"What?" Steve asked with a laugh.

Bucky smirked, "I called you a Dorito because you look like one."

"Oh? What exactly makes me look like a Dorito?"

"Your waist. I think. And your shoulders. They're just so unproportioned."

"Ouch. Attacking me today are we?"

"No! That's not what I- I love your Dorito body!" Bucky promised.

Steve smiled, "Well my Dorito body loves you."

* * *

They decided to get ice cream and see a movie to pass the time before dinner.

Steve walked out of the theater, hair tousled and face red along with his clothes wrinkled.

Bucky followed him out much more composed, his clothes straight, hair fine, and a stupid smirk on his face.

"You've got to learn how to keep yourself composed, Stevie. Almost got us kicked out." He chuckled.

Steve panted leaning against a tree and pulling Bucky towards him, "How am I meant to keep a straight face when you're going down on me?"

"I don't know but you look so fucking adorable like this." He whispered and tilting his head up he kissed his jaw.

"Dinner. Won't make it if we- god." Steve closed his eyes trying to make sense of his thoughts.

Bucky let go and started walking, "Where is this restaurant?"

"The woods." Steve grinned.

Bucky paused turning around, "We're not doing it in the woods."

"I didn't say we were. I said we were eating there." He smirked not stopping to wait for him.

He hoped on his bike and waited for Bucky to get on behind him so they could drive.

Bucky climbed on wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin against his shoulder with a small smile, "We could've been doing this for years."

Steve laughed, "I don't really think we could've."

"In secret. I know there's some guys who did it. And you had leverage if we had sneaked out-"

"It wouldn't have been fair. We were with the Howlies most of the time anyways. No way we could've gotten away from them."

"Fair? What isn't fair is we would've been put to death. Forget it."

"Bucky come on."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just upset we didn't get to do things like this back then and now we're... it's different."

Steve pulled to a stop at a red light and turned to him, "Different how?"

"Well I love you don't get me wrong but you're not the man I pictured loving and being sweet on. I was sweet on him from the beginning. This tall, muscular man took some time. Hated him in the beginning."

"You hated me?"

"Your body."

"I don't-"

"You had dames falling all over you and I didn't think they deserved you because they didn't love you when you were small. I loved that you couldn't get sick but for that to happen you had to get rid of the five foot punk I loved."

Steve frowned dropping his head, "I miss him too. I'm still him but he could do so much more then I can. I still wish I was him sometimes. So I could lie in bed with you taking care of me."

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Stevie. I'm sorry. And for the record whenever you need a break and just need to lie down and cuddle all you have to do is ask." Bucky whispered the last part as they pulled into the forest.

They walked a few miles in before coming to a small table with two chairs.

Bucky laughed, "Steve this is amazing." He marveled as he looked around at the lights.

Steve grinned and walked over to Bucky's seat pulling it out for him.

"Fancy." Bucky smiled taking his seat.

A waiter walked over and handed the two menus, "Can I get you men started with something to drink?

"A bottle of wine." He said to the man before turning to his husband, "Red or white?"

"Beer." Bucky answered and Steve frowned.

"Red. Or white." He repeated.

"Oh uh whi- re- white?" He asked staring at Steve for some look of approval.

"Red. Definitely red." He said when Steve stared back at him.

"Right away." The waiter said and walked away.

Bucky looked around the small area, "This really is beautiful." He smiled as Steve grabbed his hands.

"No more then you." Steve murmured kissing his fingers.

Bucky blushed looking down at the table, "Tryna make me blush, Steven?"

"You know it." Steve smirked taking the tip of Bucky's metal finger into his mouth for emphasis.

He let out a strangled noise pulling his hand away when the waiter came back with the bottle and two glasses.

The man served the wine and Steve thanked him although Bucky was too busy staring down at his hand his face red as he tried not to look at the man.

"You okay?" Steve chuckled when the man walked away.

He gulped looking up at Steve offering him a charming smile panting ever so slightly.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." He laughed, "That all it takes to get you going, Buck?"

"I- n- it's- I'm not completely used to feeling things with this arm yet so you suck my finger and oh my god do I want to jump you."

"Huh. Should suck your fingers more often."

"Please." Bucky basically shouted.

The waiter walked back over, "Are you men ready to order?"

"I'll take the cob salad and a chicken. He'll have the lobster and a Cesar salad." Steve ordered for them both.

* * *

"Natasha come on!" Sam said following her around.

"No!"

"Give me one reason."

"You're ten years older then me, you live in Washington D.C., I'm babysitting, I can't have children, oh and I don't date my coworkers!" She snapped.

Sam gulped taking a step back, "I said one."

"Well you got five."

"I'll babysit with you."

"You want to babysit a baby that's suffering from separation anxiety. You want to babysit Bucky's baby? You think you won't start screaming at her?"

"She's a baby. And I'm hoping nothing like either of them."

"Nothing like either of them? Given how Bucky talks about how Steve used to be I'm worried she'll start World War Three and become Queen all before she's five."

Sam thought to himself for a minute, "Fine. I won't help you babysit but you go out with me tomorrow."

"Sam-"

"One date. What's the worst that could happen? You like me?"

She sighed, "I'll think about it."

He smiled, "Great. I'll pick you up." He said walking away.

"I said I'll think about it!" She yelled after him.

Walking back to her cabin she found Wanda and Natalia both watching the tv screen intently.

"I understand why Bucky makes her watch this now. It's such a nice show with such a good lesson behind it." Wanda said hearing the door close.

She laughed walking over and sitting on the couch behind them, "That or Bucky just likes it." She said ruffling Wanda's hair.

Wanda scoffed turning around, "Hey!"

"Hey back." She smirked, "You been having fun?"

"Yeah. Natty and I played a game isn't that right Natty?" She smiled grabbing the baby.

"Papa!" Natalia giggled.

Natasha watched her amazed, "They hyped her up way too much she's never going to stop saying that."

"I know. She's calling everyone Papa. We spent some times on our bellies and we played a game. Remember the game, Natalia? What did we play?" She coo'd.

Natalia pointed over at a photo album.

"That's right!" Wanda praised kissing her cheek.

Natasha looked at her confused on what game they could've been playing with a photo album.

"It's meant to help with the stranger anxiety. Remind her we aren't strangers and that she has no reason to be afraid."

She let out a soft 'oh' in understanding.

Wanda smiled leaning against Natasha's leg as the next episode started.

"I'm going to get some chips." Natasha said moving.

Wanda fell against the couch, "Can you make me some popcorn?"

She laughed opening the microwave, "Yeah, Wanda. I'll make you some popcorn."

"Ah-oh!" Natalia giggled.

Wanda smiled, "Honey I'm sure your Daddy would kill me if I gave you popcorn."

The baby frowned.

* * *

"Thank you, Steve. This entire day has just been amazing." Bucky said as they finished their dinner.

"Any time, Mr. Barnes-Rogers." Steve grinned.

He helped Bucky out of his chair and handed him his jacket as it had gotten colder throughout their dinner.

"Do you want to go back or do we have time for one more activity?" He asked.

Bucky grabbed Steve's arm and looked down at the watch to check the time, "Natalia doesn't go down for another two hours. We have time."

Steve took his hand in his own and they walked further into the forest.

"Feelin' pretty proud of yourself for setting all this up aren't ya, baby?" Bucky whispered nipping his ear jokingly.

He laughed walking a little faster so he was next to Steve instead of behind him.

Steve slowed checking to see how far they were from their original spot. He smirked and pulled Bucky to a stop pulling him up against his body.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked confused.

Steve smiled pushing his hair to the side and kissing his neck, "Our next activity." He whispered.

Bucky gasped when Steve started grinding against him, "Steve! People!"

"We're far enough. They won't see us." Steve assured.

He gulped and kept glancing over to be sure no one could see. Steve wasn't the only one who didn't want to go to jail but he couldn't deny the arousal pooling in his groin.

Steve moaned quietly grinding down a little harder and sucking a mark onto Bucky's neck, "Tell me if you want me to stop." He whispered, his hand making its way to his glory trail.

"Further. Too close to people." Bucky panted.

"Far enough. We can see further than the normal person." He assured.

Bucky turned around to kiss Steve and suddenly he was gone.

"Wha-" he started before finding Steve down on his knees pulling Bucky's belt off.

He felt Steve's tongue and lips on him and suddenly every thought he had ever had fled his mind unable to do anything more then groan much less keep himself upright.

"Mmm, Bucky..." Steve moaned pulling off and licking up his shaft before taking him back in his mouth.

Bucky groaned looking down to find his husband open his own fly and start to jerk off.

"Oh god, Stevie!" He moaned his eyes not leaving his husband.

He cupped Steve's head and leaned against a tree, "ебать Стиви да пожалуйста да."

Steve pulled his hand away from himself and took out a bottle of lube quickly pouring some on his fingers. Fixing his position he pushed them into Bucky.

He let out a wail holding onto Steve as he came with a cry.

Steve gulped it down pulling off licking his lips.

Bucky panted still moaning before looking down at Steve who still wasn't finished, "Ste-" he didn't get to finish talking as Steve pulled him down to the ground.

He laid him on his back and climbed into his lap leaning down to kiss him.

Bucky moaned into the kiss pulling away, "Can I..." he glanced down at Steve's hard on.

Steve smiled, "Me first."

"What?" Bucky asked confused.

He laughed, "Turn around."

"Turn- I don't understand."

Steve grabbed Bucky's hips and turned him around so he was facing away from him.

Oh.

He gulped and got off crawling up to Steve's head moving to straddle his face.

Steve chuckled causing Bucky to shiver before swiping his tongue in a long line from his balls to his tailbone making his knees wobble.

"Fuck, Stevie." He gasped.

He grins bringing his hands up and smacking Bucky's ass, "Language, sweetie." He teased.

He squeezed his ass carefully spreading him open teasing him with the promise of more.

Bucky whined, "Baby."

"Later, Buck. Wanna get you all squirming and cryin' an' screamin' my name first." Steve said licking over Bucky's hole.

"Mother fucking son of a bitch!" Bucky moaned pushing his ass down against Steve's mouth like a whore.

He tried not to laugh as he teased the circles around his rim pushing his tongue in.

His vision flashes white, overcome with lust, and he's pretty sure he's seeing heaven.

"Good. Feels good." He moaned rutting his hips, his dick searching for some friction.

God he could cum just like this, fucking against Steve's chest with his husbands face buried in his ass.

Before he understands what's happening Steve's lifting him up to get his dick away and knocking him off balance so that his face fell into Steve's crotch.

He whimpered his tongue darting out to lick Steve's neglected cock.

"You waitin' for a damn invitation?" Steve growled smacking his ass.

He cried out and Steve twisted his hips to push his dick into Bucky's mouth.

"God I should do that more often. Whenever you're being annoying just spank you and shove my cock in you." Steve said grunting as he started to thrust into Bucky's mouth.

Bucky blushed pushing his ass back to Steve's face as he took his cock.

He grinds down on Steve's face as he sucks him off.

It takes them a while to find a good rhythm both too caught up in themselves , Bucky's mind a puddle of goo too close to his orgasm.

Steve moaned as he came.

"Oh god Stevie!" Bucky yelled coming all over Steve's chest.

Steve laughed as Bucky rolled off of him,

"So that was... risky business."

"Not really. I saw you walk into the bathroom this morning with a bag of water and a-"

"I don't need the details I lived it."

Steve smiled turning to face him, "You wouldn't survive if you only bottomed."

"Yes I would!" Bucky persisted.

"Bucky you hate douching."

"You don't?!"

"I've had enough enemas in my life that it doesn't bother me."

"Oh come on my shit is your shit!"

"Not literally!"

Bucky laughed rolling closer.

"HEY!" Someone shouted.

They hurried to their feet pulling on their clothes.

"I told you we were too close!" Bucky scoffed making a break for it.


End file.
